


Journey's End

by xambedo



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Action, Action/Adventure, Angst with a Happy Ending, Apologies, Canon Setting, Celestial Spirits - Freeform, Confessions, Crime Sorcière, E.N.D. vs Lucy, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Fluffy Moments, Getting Together, Gray Fullbuster - Freeform, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Igneel - Freeform, Living Together, Loke - Freeform, Love, Mavis Vermillion - Freeform, Natsu vs Gray, Natsu vs Lucy, Not Canon Compliant, One Magic, Post-Canon, Romance, Sabertooth - Freeform, Skippable Smut, Temporary Character Death, Unofficial Sequel, lamia scale - Freeform, slowburn, unison raid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:21:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 23
Words: 97,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23001922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xambedo/pseuds/xambedo
Summary: A journey to reunite old friends. A friendship turned to romance. Finding Aquarius means nothing if it means losing Natsu along the way. Lucy always knew tampering with E.N.D.’s book would have consequences, she just didn’t know how soon. And now the truth could cost her everything. Haunted by Zeref, it’s only a matter of time before Natsu fully awakens, and the bond they so cherish is put to the test.
Relationships: Natsu Dragneel/Lucy Heartfilia
Comments: 42
Kudos: 230





	1. Prelude: Because I Love You

It came again today. 

Grief—a monster so large not even Natsu could beat it. The creature prowled in the shadows of his mind, tearing his dreams to shreds. He watched the pieces fall in scraps all around him, rain and smoke and ash. Flames licked up his arms, oozing from scars she’d left behind.

If he looked closely, Natsu saw himself in the monster’s serpentine eyes. The beast watched him from the darkness. In all the nights it came to visit, Grief never approached him. It just stared, pitiful, waiting for the day Natsu gave himself willingly. Maybe today would be that day. 

A wink of light spun in the shadows. Something rolled towards him. Small and metallic, the object fell with a soft clang at his feet. Natsu crouched to inspect the item. It was Lucy’s ring. He picked it up and stared at the small band. It was just a silly little thing. He’d thought nothing of it at the time, and now it seemed his entire world lived within the space of that band. Her fingers were so small.

His fingers curled around the ring, the edges creasing his palms, and then he launched it across the empty chamber, screaming until his lungs burned and more flames burst from his skin.

The ring landed somewhere in the distance, splashing through the darkness like a pebble skimming water, until it _plopped_ out of existence.

Light undulated through the shadows like a full moon scintillating on dark waters. Natsu didn’t move. He didn’t dare. He unraveled the bloody scarf from his neck, squeezed it between trembling fingers. His cold breath fogged in the bloom of light. It still smelled like her. 

More light blossomed in the blackness, opening like flowers in bloom, petals of gold and white expanding until Natsu had no choice but to shield his eyes from their beauty. 

Footsteps echoed in the dark chamber. 

The hands that touched him were so gentle he almost surrendered completely, but what little strength remained inside him, threads of denial and hope so thin they barely kept his heart together, refused to let go.

“You look well, Natsu.”

Lucy’s hair cascaded in thick waves down her back. She wore a fragile white dress, material so thin it barely clung to her scarred body. She cupped his face with her right hand, fingers gliding gently in his hair. Natsu grabbed her wrist and winced. He lowered the hand and stared at the scorched flesh, disfigured enough that her guild mark barely remained. 

“Lucy…” 

_What are you going to say?_ the beast whispered. _Sorry?_

Natsu’s chest tightened until his heart could barely beat. His throat constricted, trapping what few words mustered the courage to form. The magical lock they’d won still hung beside Aquarius’s broken key on her neck, lapis where it had once been a translucent crystal. He retrieved the matching key from his pocket.

“You kept it,” she said.

Natsu’s eyes filled with tears. Questions surged through his mind, but instead all he managed to say was, “I miss you.” 

Her expression softened. “Do you remember our promise, Natsu? That you would live, no matter what.” Lucy caressed his cheek. “Live, Natsu. Live a long, human life. You have things to do now. Our friends need you. They love you.” 

She took the scarf from him, erased the dried remnants of her blood with a gentle caress. Something about her actions seemed so permanent. 

“You mustn’t sleep and mope all day,” she said. 

“But this is the only place I can see you.” 

“This will be the last time, Natsu.”

“What?”

“I won’t visit you again. So please, promise me. Promise me that you’ll live a good life.”

“I can’t.”

“Just try. For me.”

“Why did you do it, Lucy?” His voice cracked. “Why did you die?” 

Lucy cupped his face. She kissed him gently, her lips cold, her hands colder. “Because I love you.”

“Friends don’t die for each other, Lucy!” Natsu yelled. He grabbed her shoulders, shook her as though he could rattle the sense into her.

“But we’re not friends,” she said. “And I would die for you a thousand times over.” 

She faded like glass shattering in slow motion, pieces of her body glittering with a kaleidoscope of colours. And then she vanished. 

The beast lunged at him, black maw open to nightmares, and swallowed him whole.

Natsu woke to the darkness of Lucy’s apartment. His neck twinged. He’d fallen asleep at her desk again. Happy snored quietly on a pile of Lucy’s papers. They’d read her book over and over again, so much that even the difficult words rang true in his mind. 

He rubbed the back of his head, willing the grogginess away, and stood. Natsu snatched Loke’s key from the clutter on Lucy’s desk and gripped it tight in both hands, wielding it almost like a sword. 

And just like every night before, Natsu begged for Loke to come. Begged and begged until the effort burst in tears on his face, and the emptiness of losing her began to fill with blood and bile.

“Where are you?!” he screamed. 

_This will be the last time._

Natsu kicked Lucy’s chair. He swiped keys and books and papers from her desk, launching them hard across the room. 

Happy grabbed his arm. “Stop it, Natsu!”

He screamed louder, flipping the desk. Papers fluttered in all directions. 

“She’s gone, Happy!” Natsu yelled. “She’s gone and it’s all my fault!”

“No! It’s not!”

“I killed Lucy! I killed…” Natsu collapsed to his knees. 

Happy clung to him, and he allowed himself this moment of weakness. Natsu embraced his friend and together they mourned. Mourned what could have been. Mourned the good and the bad. Mourned the way Lucy’s smile used to light up a room. Mourned the ache of wanting her and being unable to caress her soft skin or kiss her warm lips. Of being unable to exist beside her. 

Lucy’s name meant _light_. And true to that meaning, her death erased all light from Natsu’s life. She’d taken everything with her when she disappeared.

At least if there’d been a body, at least if he’d seen it for himself, maybe he could accept it. Maybe he could move forward. 

Natsu withdrew the black key from his pocket and wished it would glow again. That it would lead him back to her. He wished their journey had never ended. That he could start over from the beginning. Do things right. That he hadn’t waited so long to kiss her. 

“Natsu, what’s that over there?”

Natsu looked to where Happy had spotted a small envelope on the floor, mixed in among Lucy’s manuscript. He swiped it off the ground. It was addressed to Natsu. He opened it, and though it took a while, he read every word, savoured it, let it remind him of her warm voice.

_Dear Natsu,_

_You were disappointed when I let you leave alone today. If I’m being honest, I’d love to go on another adventure with you. But being near you is strange right now. I’m afraid you’ll see right through me. Whenever you’re here, it’s like my heart can’t keep up. And it hurts so much._

“Lucy…”

_Maybe I should resign myself to the fact that I’m better with words on paper than saying them out loud. I want to tell you how I feel. How our friendship makes me feel. And how being with you, laughing with you, living with you, makes me so happy. It makes me so glad that you’re here. And even though Zeref did some awful things, I selfishly want to thank him for giving you to me._

_If I say it here, maybe I’ll be able to look into your eyes again. Maybe I’ll stop feeling so out of sorts when you’re here. Maybe I can sleep next to you without feeling so self-conscious._

_I love you, Natsu. I’m so in love with you that I can barely stand it. You’re always in my head. But these words just aren’t enough. Because I can’t find the right thing to say, I question how I feel. I question the true depth of these feelings. But one thing is true: I’ve loved you since the moment we met. And though I never truly understood these feelings until now, I know I want to be beside you forever._

_I’m so glad we met._

Something rolled out from behind Lucy’s up-heaved desk. Plue sprawled at Natsu’s feet, his trembling figure vibrant in the darkness of Lucy’s apartment. He mewled as Natsu helped him stand. 

“Where did you come from?”

Plue raised a hand and shivered almost excitedly. Natsu scooped the spirit into his arms and wept as hope kindled in the dead veins of his heart. The spirit pointed his long nose to the entryway, a sliver of morning light running across the dusty floor. The key in Natsu’s hand shimmered with a pale light, peeling away the lapis coating until it glowed clear white crystal. 

The door opened. 


	2. #01: A New Journey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, you're not seeing things. After a lengthy hiatus, I decided to return to fanfiction and reprise a fan favourite: Journey's End! It's about time I finished this story, eh? We're starting over from the beginning! The plot will be slightly different but follow along the same path! 
> 
> This is an early release to celebrate my blog reaching 9000 followers!

A lot can change in two years.

Lucy watched the landscape roll by, lulled into reverie by the train's steady motion. Puffy clouds streaked the horizon, faded like strokes of paint on a pale blue canvas. Beneath them, buildings turned to trees, and those trees waved Lucy on her way, green leaves rippling with winks of fading sunlight. Magnolia truly was beautiful. She pressed her face to the glass and watched her guild disappear.

Fairy Tail hadn't been the same since their war with Alvarez. Makarov's powers weren't what they used to be, and he worked tirelessly to choose their next master. Laxus spent most of his days training Wendy—when she wasn't visiting Lamia Scale or joining Team Natsu on random quests. The two were surprisingly good for each other, with Laxus emboldening Wendy, and Wendy softening the ornery man's heart.

Erza and Mirajane spent most of their time travelling between guilds and assisting the council, with both taking on much more of Fairy Tail's paper work. Meanwhile, Lisanna teamed up with Bickslow and Freed to take on a few jobs of their own, and all while planning Evergreen's wedding. The guild was quiet without them.

Gray and Juvia were off somewhere in the mountains again, training hard to prepare for the S-Class exam. It was rare to see them in the guild anymore. According to Juvia's letters, Gray and Lyon were spending more time together, and she'd grown quite fond of the cold weather.

Levy had given birth to two very healthy, beautiful twins, with Bisca expecting a second child in the summer. Asuka had taken quite a liking to Levy's children, already fancying herself a perfect big sister.

Despite releasing a second novel, Lucy was still better known for her photo-shoots in Sorcerer Weekly than her stories, but the guild supported her anyway. Even if that meant secluding herself when inspiration took hold.

And Natsu…

Well, Natsu was Natsu.

Lucy's hand moved to the chain around her neck, fingers curling around Aquarius's broken key. She twirled the delicate links around her finger. After discovering the key in Lucy's drawer, Natsu had gifted her both the chain and a promise—an oath to reunite them for good.

Lucy stole a quick glance at his face. He slept peacefully in her lap, his silence a pleasant change from his usual display of night terrors. Just last night he'd screamed and thrashed so loudly Lucy thought he might burst into flames and burn down her apartment.

She still remembered coming home to find him sitting on the floor of her apartment, his face streaked with tears, Aquarius's key set like a dark omen on the floor.

_'Why didn't you tell me?'_ he'd asked her.

She'd wanted to. For years. And after the war, she'd thought maybe she would. That maybe she could finally confide her feelings in him; the hurt when he'd abandoned her, the pain of living alone in Crocus, the anguish of losing Aquarius. She'd wanted to tell him everything. But then the nightmares started, and Lucy couldn't bring herself to do it. He suffered enough.

She didn't regret breaking Aquarius's key. Of course she didn't. But Lucy's heart ached with a longing to be reunited with her old friend. He knew this. And like always, he'd known exactly what to say. He'd taken her hand and she'd let him pull her towards a new dream.

Leaning against the cool window, Lucy watched the tracks disappear beneath the carriage. She combed Natsu's hair with her fingers, listening to the train's rhythmic thrum. Happy moved in Natsu's arms, mumbling something about ninjas. Lucy smiled. Honestly, those two were so alike it made her wonder if they weren't brothers in a past life. Both had fallen asleep within seconds of the train departing.

Awash in a purpling sunset, the horizon silhouetted like portraits from old storybooks, an ink of outlines vanishing in the distance. Pale fingers of sunlight tucked passing cities into bed for the night. Tomorrow would be a new day. And it would be the mark of their brand new journey.

Natsu grumbled in his sleep. Lucy caressed his cheek, wishing away the bad dreams. Happy's voice echoed Natsu's somniloquy. Their voices grew louder. She surveyed neighbouring seats, sensing no unease in fellow passengers. If she didn't know any better, Lucy would _swear_ they were talking loud on purpose.

Maybe she _did_ know better.

Leaning forward, Lucy blew on Natsu's cheek, grinning as hair fluttered across his eyes. _Big mistake_. Natsu jolted awake, smacking her forehead with his entire face. Lucy yelped, and Happy leapt off their seat, screaming about fish. One of the passengers shushed them.

Natsu rubbed the bridge of his nose. "What happened to your forehead, Lucy?"

"Something _huge_ must have hit it," she jibed.

He grinned, saying nothing as he returned to her lap. He rubbed his face against her thighs like a kitten demanding attention. Happy dropped on Lucy's other side, snuggling against her waist. Pleased with himself, Natsu rolled onto his back, lidded eyes watching patterns of light zoom across the ceiling.

"Wendy said you'd be fine until we arrived," Lucy reminded him. "There's really no need for you to stay like this."

Natsu didn't speak. Wendy had promised Lucy he wouldn't get sick this time around. Her magic had improved so much. While hidden away writing books and searching for Aquarius, Lucy had neglected her training. Had she already fallen behind?

"You better not ruin my new outfit," she said. "Virgo made it especially for this journey."

Natsu traced a finger across the arm guard on Lucy's left forearm. Golden keys glittered in the pockets, easier to retrieve during battle. A smaller band wrapped around her right thigh, where the remainder of her keys had been organized. Aside from the guards and matching black boots, the rest of Lucy's bodysuit shimmered a starlight silver, flexible enough that she could move with ease.

"You look like the other one," Natsu said, and she knew he meant Lucy Ashley. Lucy had cropped her hair short before departing on their new journey, though not quite as short as her Edolas counterpart.

His fingers moved across the keys, stopping at a single empty pocket. Reserved for Aquarius. Lucy's finger danced across the broken key hanging low in the open V of her suit.

"We'll find her, Lucy," he said.

She hated when he did that—plucked the thoughts straight from her mind, like his smile alone granted him the power to read her thoughts.

"And then we'll celebrate with a huge bowl of salmon!" Happy exclaimed.

Lucy stifled a laugh. "I was thinking of something a little sweeter."

"How much longer 'til we reach Onibus Town? I'm hungry," Natsu said.

"You're _always_ hungry," she griped.

Natsu's stomach growled in answer.

"Seriously, though." Lucy nudged his shoulder. "My legs are starting to hurt. It's no use faking motion sickness, either. You don't have to lay here like this."

He fixed her with limpid eyes. "I _know._ But I want to."

A hot shiver tickled Lucy's spine. She blew out a breath and, to her amusement, the train slowed to a stop.

"Looks like we're here," she said.

* * *

Onibus Town bustled with drunken crowds and tourists. The theater and its recent productions about the _Alvarez War_ were quite alluring, though Lucy would rather not relive those days as entertainment. Plays such as these were supposed to honour the guilds and the mages in the fight, she knew, but there was something twisted and strange about profiting from another's suffering.

"Whoa." Happy's voice carried through the sky behind them. "This place sure is brighter than I remembered."

Somebody had embedded crescents of lacrima in the ground, the crystals oozing controlled light that illuminated the cobbled pathways. They followed these paths until they reached their inn, where Lucy had to bargain the prices down to afford their stay.

Their room was smaller than expected. A lone bed with amiss lush cushions sat between a narrow closet and a crooked chest of drawers. A wall-mounted desk consumed the entire wall leading into the adjoining restroom. The restroom didn't have a bath like she'd wanted. She'd have to visit the public baths after all.

Lucy sighed. "Is it too much to ask for a nice tub?"

Natsu plucked a chunk of bread from his pack and swallowed it whole. "Or a welcoming snack."

Drawing the curtains, Lucy gazed down at Onibus Town in all its illuminated glory. She mapped her destination in her mind, memorising the quickest route to Onibus Bar, where mages gathered in great clusters, spilling ale and secrets.

"I hear Gildarts passed through here recently," Natsu said, adjusting his scarf. He hadn't gotten used to Virgo's garments yet, the sheer silver of his shirt not quite as freeing as his usual vest. At least he'd gotten to keep his casual black pants. Kind of. Virgo had sewn a pattern of stars into the left leg, giving him a jacket to match.

"He's travelling with Cana, isn't he?" Lucy said.

Natsu flopped onto the bed. Happy sprawled over the back of his head. The two let out a collective sigh.

"It's no fair. I want to train with Gildarts too," Natsu groaned.

"Me too."

"Can't you just be happy that Cana is spending time with her father?" Lucy scolded.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Aye," Happy agreed.

"If you're lucky, they might still be here," Lucy said. "And then you can share in some of Cana's spoils."

Natsu sprang upright, his eyes glittering with renewed excitement. His mouth opened and clamped shut again. Something odd shadowed his face. Dread, or something deeper. Darker. He winced as if struck, and then retched.

"Not on the bed!" Lucy rushed to help, but before she could reach him Natsu was already standing, Happy frantic beside him.

"I'm fine. Just a little motion sickness," he said.

This wasn't motion sickness. Lucy shouldn't have let him sleep on the train. Natsu had been suffering nightmares for weeks now. He never talked to her about them, and she indulged him with ignorance. He didn't want her to know, and Lucy wasn't ready to confront him just yet, so she simply let him be.

Though he didn't talk directly about the nightmares, he _had_ confided other things in her. He'd told her about the weird things Zeref had told him. He'd told her all about his connection to E.N.D.'s book, and how Zeref could hurt him by simply damaging the object. It made him feel inadequate. Inhuman.

Lucy didn't even have the stomach to comfort him. Not sincerely. She'd been hiding something, too. Natsu wasn't the only person suffering terrors after the war. Zeref visited her too. And not always in her sleep. She saw him at every corner, a ghost at the edge of time, waiting to punish her for what she'd done.

Rewriting the book had changed something in Lucy's DNA. The magic wasn't always prevalent, but when it was, she and Natsu were connected—his pain was her pain, his smiles her joys.

And he had no idea.

In order to rewrite the book, Lucy had poured her soul into those words. She'd woven her heart into the parchment and linked herself to Natsu, given his power a new outlet. She'd thought it would be temporary. That Zeref's defeat would change things. She was wrong. Since then, Lucy felt tethered to that moment, as though she were still bound in that book's power.

Lucy's stomach twisted with a wave of nausea as Natsu vomited all over the wooden floor, chest heaving, hands clutching at air. Overriding such powerful magic had its consequences. It was foolish to presume otherwise. But she had presumed, and hoped, and prayed that nothing bad would come of her actions.

"Why don't you stay here and I'll visit the bar?" Lucy offered.

"No." He straightened. "You can't go alone."

"Oh, please. I'll be back faster than you can miss me."

"I'll come too, Lucy," Happy said.

"No, I need you to take care of Natsu. He needs you more than I do right now. Besides, how can I surprise you guys with a bunch of yummy food if you're right beside me?"

"But Lucy..." Happy hesitated, all moues and anxious pacing.

Lucy smiled, and it was the most genuine smile she'd mustered in weeks. Natsu's nausea had settled, unraveling the knots in Lucy's own stomach. She released a calming breath.

"I'm going to be just fine," she promised.

Natsu clambered onto the bed and hugged one of the large cushions to his face. "I'll be right behind you," he said.

Not a chance, she thought. But instead all she said was, "Of course. I'll see you there."

"I swear, Lucy" He raised his head to look at her. "I'll come find you."

Not in that state, he wouldn't.

* * *

There was something eerie about traversing empty streets alone. Groups of people began to disperse and thin, their numbers lost to inebriety and fatigue. Those who remained were barely coherent, wobbling merrily from one tavern to another, or hobbling back to their inns.

Despite the full moon and surrounding floor lights, there was a darkness here that couldn't be missed, like a long shadow cast by some invisible monster. The creature swallowed everything in nightly doldrums. Lucy's hand skated to her whip.

Maybe it was the loneliness that got to her. She'd been glued to Natsu since the war. He would break into her apartment so often that she'd given him a key, and he'd come and gone as he pleased. Sometimes he'd sleep there for weeks without going home. She'd gotten used to sleeping beside him.

She wondered how he was feeling.

She was long past the stage of becoming an innocent bride. At this rate, with the amount of times he'd seen her naked, Natsu would have to marry her instead. Lucy's heart fluttered and a familiar heat spread to her face. She fanned her cheeks, and despite the cold spring air, her body grew all the hotter.

Customers left the mage's bar in droves, flooding the street in a wild ruckus of magic and booze. Some brawled their way into nearby alleys.

A quick glimpse through the opening door told her that plenty of patrons were still inside. She threaded her way into the knot of people and made her way through.

The sickly scent of booze hit before the comber of body heat finally reached her. Lucy checked the whip at her waist and moved through the remaining crowd until she reached the bar. Loud music boomed from lacrimas on either side of the room. She sat on the only available stool and sorely wished it was Natsu sitting beside her.

A female tender greeted her, and Lucy ordered their cheapest drink.

"You visiting for the play?" the tender asked.

Lucy smiled, stirring the pink umbrella in her flute glass. A sweet, bubbling liquid spit over the rim. She'd never tasted anything like it. Dreams and bubblegum and rainbows fizzed on her tongue.

"Just passing through," she confessed. "Heard this is a good place to verify rumours."

"More like create them," the woman laughed. The bartender gazed at Lucy a long while before adding, "Wait, aren't you Lucy Heartfilia? I'm a huge fan of your books."

Lucy's eyes widened. "You are?"

The genuine shock must have shown, because the woman barked a hearty laugh. "Of course! It makes me feel like I'm really out there on a huge journey. I'm sure you Fairy Tail mages have all kinds of exciting adventures. I'm a little jealous."

"I'm sorry, did I just hear right? Are you really Lucy Heartfilia?" another voice asked.

Lucy turned to find an older man standing behind her. He held out a recent edition of Sorcerer Weekly, spread open to a poster of Lucy and Mirajane from the _Prepare for Summer_ spread they'd done.

And just like that her glamorous bubble popped into soapy drops that stung her eyes. She leaned back on her stool and forced a polite smile.

"I am," she said.

"I'm sorry to be rude," the man said, "but my daughter is a huge fan. She'll be so jealous that I met you."

His daughter?

"Actually, she practices holder magic just like you. She wants to be a Fairy Tail mage when she's older. You're a great inspiration to her." His cheeks flushed and he glanced at the spread of photos. "This is all I have, but I'd be honoured if you'd sign it."

The bubble might have burst, but there was something else sparkling in Lucy's heart now. She'd once been like this man's daughter, yearning to be a part of Fairy Tail.

"I'd be happy to."

"What brings you to Onibus Town?" he asked, returning the signed magazine to his pack.

"I'm looking for a key," she said. It was as honest an answer as she could muster.

"A key?" His gaze ticked to the band of keys on her arm. "Ah, well, you might be in luck. As it so happens, I just spent a number of days in Clover Town."

"Why Clover Town?"

"Since the Guild Master's meeting place was destroyed, merchants have flocked to the small town to do their business. It's quite exciting."

Lucy bit her lip to suppress a frown. Even now, Fairy Tail was a destructive force, leaving chaos and debris in their wake. She almost felt the need to apologise.

"And you saw keys there?" she asked.

"As it so happens, yes! Lots of them! I'm always on the hunt for rare magical items. It's a hobby as much as a career."

Lucy smiled at that. "Thank you! I'll head there right away."

"Happy to help."

Before she could offer to buy the man a drink in gratitude, the bar door swung open, and a familiar, wobbly brunette walked in. Cana stopped dead when she saw Lucy sitting at the bar.

Her mouth opened, a string of words bubbling out so fast Lucy couldn't understand them. And then, with a big breath, she yelled, "Lucy!"

"So you really are here," Lucy said, mostly to herself. Natsu would be sad he'd missed out.

"Come, come. Let's walk and drink," Cana sang.

"How about we just talk?" Lucy asked, snaking an arm around Cana's waist. "Outside. In the fresh air."

Though she reeked of ale, Cana glowed with more than just her drunken stupor. She looked happy. _Strong_. Knots of muscle tensed in her toned arms. She was noticeably heavier.

"Where's Gildarts?" Lucy asked, helping Cana sit on a nearby bench.

"My old man? He disappeared, o'course. Ain't that what he's good at?"

Lucy sucked her bottom lip as she sat beside her friend. "He didn't say goodbye?"

"No, he did. I'm just mad I couldn't go with him. What's up with all these Hundred Year Quests, anyway?" Cana snorted. "Like he's going to live that long."

"I'm sorry, Cana."

"Don't be. He cried during the whole goodbye."

Despite the gloom in Cana's voice, Lucy laughed. "You two get along well. I'm happy for you."

Cana grinned. "I'm going to be S-Class, Lucy. This time I won't fail. I know it's a while away now, but I want to be ready."

Lucy placed a hand on Cana's shoulder. "I know you will. I have every faith in you."

"That being said, c'mere. I learned a new trick."

Without warning, Cana snatched Lucy's face in her hands, booze-repleted breath so strong it made Lucy's eyes water.

"What're you doing?"

"I can read your future," she said, and so seriously Lucy almost believed her.

"You're drunk, Cana."

"It's my last day. I swear. Tomorrow I'll be a brand new, sober me. Gotta stay focused for that dream, ya know?"

Come to think of it, Cana _had_ been drinking less at the guild. In fact, in the bitterness of Lucy's memories, she recalled Cana being rather _snappy_ as she suffered withdrawals.

"Whatever you do, I'll support you. You know that. But would you _please_ let go of my face."

Cana obliged, taking Lucy's hands instead.

"Look into my eyes," she said.

"You know, I don't think I really want my fortune telling."

"Shhh."

Lucy winced, and Cana's gaze widened. Her pupils expanded, absorbing light until they bled into the sclera, colouring everything black. She squeezed Lucy's hands tighter, tighter, _tighter_. Lucy yelped.

"Ow, Cana! You're hurting me."

A single tear rolled down Cana's empty black eyes.

"Cana?"

"I see nothing," she said.

"S-so it didn't work. It's nothing to cry about," Lucy said.

Cana blinked away the fearsome magic. She rubbed her eyes and wiped away more tears.

"I don't understand," she said.

"What's wrong?" Lucy didn't really want to know, but the words erupted like old habits, curiosity killing every damn cat in town. "Cana, are you okay?"

It wasn't Cana who answered, but the phantom of a voice so familiar it raised the hairs on Lucy's neck.

_"You have no future,"_ Zeref whispered.

Lucy stood. "No! That's not…"

"What did you do to Lucy?" a voice asked.

Both girls turned to find Natsu leaning against a nearby post. He rubbed his ashen face and moved closer. Happy floated along cautiously behind him.

"Do you want to try too?" Cana teased, returning to her drunken visage.

Lucy wiped the sweat from her hands, a fearful warmth gripping her in a white hot fist. Zeref's voice lingered.

"What are you doing here, Natsu?" she asked.

"I promised, didn't I?" His stomach audibly growled. "And I'm hungry."

Lucy expelled a quick breath. "Of course you are."

"Let's grab food and go back to our room, Lucy. It's late."

"Don't tell me…" Cana stood with a dramatic gasp. "You two are finally at _that stage_ in your relationship?!"

"Cana!" Lucy squeaked.

"What stage?" Natsu rubbed the back of his head. "We just sleep together is all."

Cana's face reddened so much Lucy thought she might burst. "I can't wait to tell everyone back at the guild! I totally called it this time!"

"You absolutely will _not_ tell everyone at the guild!" Lucy warned.

Natsu glanced between them. "What's the big deal? We've been doing it for over a year now anyway."

Humiliated, Lucy sank onto the bench in defeat, but Natsu was already standing in front of her, his hand extended.

"Come on, Lucy. Let's go."

She quivered in frustration. "You really are something, aren't you?"

He beamed at her. How could she say no to that smile? It was the smile that brought her here to this moment, closer to her dreams than sleep ever could.

_You have no future._

No. Zeref was wrong. Cana's magic was wrong. Lucy _did_ have a future. And he was standing right before her.

Lucy took his hand like she always did.

And always would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two will be released on Friday because I fly home to England on Saturday!
> 
> Future chapters will be uploaded every Wednesday and Saturday unless something changes. The full schedule is available on the right side of my blog, with dates for every completed chapter. You'll also find the next release date at the end of each chapter


	3. In Her Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another early release because my work schedule got all messed up. I have the next few chapters prepared so that I can drop them on schedule while I'm visiting family in England!

Natsu sat alone in the empty room. Dark shadows slivered like snakes along the walls and ceiling, coiling together to create one mass of adumbration. The malevolence hissed in this place, taking on a life of its own, feeding into his fears. Coal black flames crackled and spit, giving no light. Natsu shivered.

Cold air fanned his face, and it took a moment to realise it was his own. Natsu couldn't remember the last time he'd felt _this cold_. The darkness shifted, exposing a room that existed only in fragments. A memory. He found himself sitting in an old village, a mirage of shadows and silhouettes blending together. He was in the past.

_Not again._

He closed his eyes, as though he could defeat darkness with more darkness, pick apart the shadows to create something less bleak and cold. Less evil. He tried to call his flames but the heat was too strong. It devoured him and burnt out too quickly. And it hurt. Pain lanced through him, skin boiling, the burns crusting on his arms much too soon.

He opened his eyes to see Zeref sitting before him, arms folded across his chest. Crimson eyes reflected Natsu's demonic form like glass orbs reading the future.

"Hello, brother."

Natsu didn't answer. He wouldn't give Zeref the time of day Not right now. Not like this.

Chagrined, Zeref leaned forward, caressing Natsu's burnt cheek. The dark room filled with a new sense. He could _smell_ it. Ash and smoke and burning flesh.

"To what end did you summon me here again?" Zeref asked.

Natsu knocked the hand away, rage boiling worse than his scorched flesh. As if he'd willingly bring about this nightmare!

"You need my help," Zeref said. "You're confused. Scared. You seek answers to questions you haven't even thought to ask yet."

"I don't need anything from you."

Zeref smiled, and it was so sweet Natsu almost wished it were real, and that his big brother wasn't just a crazy, cursed phantom come to haunt him in his dreams. Maybe this wasn't even Zeref but a demon come to claim his soul.

"Your confidence is fading, Natsu." Zeref's smile vanished, crooked until it became a frown. " _She'll_ grow tired of it too. Your weakness."

Natsu moved to stand, ready to pummel Zeref into a new afterlife. Zeref moved faster. He held Natsu in a vice-like grip, forcing him to sit once more. His cold hands dug into Natsu's shoulders.

"Did you ever stop to wonder..."

"Stop it!" Natsu shoved him away, but his hand passed through Zeref's chest to his brother's heart. The organ beat wildly, spreading veins of thick crimson through Zeref's face. He looked possessed.

An image of Lucy dead on the ground flickered through Natsu's mind. His own scream echoed back to him, bloodcurdling, devastated.

"...Why it is you're still alive?"

Natsu woke with a start. He stared at his outstretched hand, flexed his curled fingers. Lucy jolted beside him, sitting up as he did. They sat for a while in silence, neither one sure where to start. In the low light of dawn, he saw the malaise in her face. So beautiful. So pale.

Shafts of morning sunlight ribbed the wooden floor where Lucy had left the curtains partially open. He saw their packs sitting beneath the window, untouched through the night. That's right. They were looking for Aquarius.

He remembered Gray's warning just weeks before: ' _Don't try to do everything by yourself, idiot. Try to see yourself through her eyes for a change. She suffers when you do. Remember that.'_

At the time Natsu had offered only a retort, barely bothering to incline his head as Gray departed on his next trip. He'd thought Gray hypocritical for the lecture. But he'd taken it to heart all the same. Natsu didn't want to become the old Gray—pushing away any hope of being happy, constantly afraid of losing the people he loved.

"It was you and Gray, right?" Natsu asked.

Lucy didn't answer, but her eyes betrayed unspoken questions.

"You were the ones who rewrote the book." He hesitated, the words a tangle of thorns on his tongue. They pricked him. He swallowed the blood and the doubt. " _My_ book."

Just saying those words made him feel nauseous again. He wasn't a demon. He was Natsu, damn it. He wasn't...

The hand that touched his shoulder now wasn't Zeref's. It was kind, gentle. Lucy sat facing him on the bed, her soft cheeks faded pink, her eyes lidded with fatigue. She always looked so radiant, her beauty a reflection of her kindness.

"Natsu, if anything, I'm grateful to Zeref," she said, and the words didn't sting at all. Because he knew her. Knew her heart. "Because of him, I can have you here now. Like this."

Happy clung to Natsu's arm. Their warmth seeped through him in ways dragon slayer magic never could.

"Natsu is Natsu!" Happy yelled in agreement.

"Lucy..." Natsu sucked in a trembling breath. "Happy..."

If only he could see himself in her eyes. In their hearts.

She patted his shoulder as if to dismiss the moment. "That's enough of that," she said, though Natsu was certain he saw a glint of tears in her eyes. "Go bathe. We leave soon."

It was only then that Natsu realised she was already dressed. Aquarius's key dangled like a grim reminder around her neck. That same flicker of annoyance passed through him, the same feeling he'd felt upon finding the key broken in her desk. _Why hadn't she told him_? No, that wasn't fair. She'd probably tried to tell him. Natsu just hadn't listened. All he'd seen back then was his own pain. Losing Igneel, not being strong enough, all of it had beaten him down until he was nothing. No one.

And then the guild had disbanded, leaving Lucy all alone.

He couldn't blame Lucy's silence for these feelings. He regretted not being there for her during his year away. He should've been. But he was making up for it now.

He'd found the broken key in her desk drawer one night, when Lucy was visiting Levy and the twins. He'd been intending to prank her by hiding her recent novel papers, but he'd found the key and a whole stack of articles instead. Natsu had thought Lucy was losing interest in the guild, that she didn't want to go on adventures with him anymore. So he'd busied himself in her life, sleeping at her apartment, eating all of her food, trying to remind her of the day they met. Of the Lucy who desperately wanted to join Fairy Tail.

She'd been searching for Aquarius all this time.

She'd chastised him for snooping, and then she'd cried. And cried. _And cried_. He'd bought the chain with Erza the next day, and then he'd given it to Lucy. She'd been so touched she'd cried again, but Natsu didn't leave things there.

_'Let's go!'_ he'd yelled. _'Right now!'_

_'What? Go where?'  
_

_'To find Aquarius! We'll find her together, Lucy.'  
_

She'd agreed without a second thought.

Lucy cupped his left cheek. Natsu leaned against her palm, taking a moment to collect his thoughts. He wished he could shut off his brain for a while.

_She'll grow tired of it too. Your weakness._

"Aquarius's key will be there," Natsu said.

Lucy's smile was infectious. "And even if it isn't, what's important is that we're together. As long as I'm with you, I just know we'll find her. And I know everything will be okay."

Happy threw himself between them. "We'll always be together, Lucy!"

Natsu gave Happy a reassuring pat on the head. "C'mon, buddy. Let's hurry so we can start our next adventure."

* * *

It had taken a whole lot of bartering, but Lucy finally agreed to reach Clover Town on foot. Anything was better than risking another ride on that damned train. Even _with_ Wendy's magic, something about the journey had left him so languid. Falling asleep likely hadn't helped. Whenever he closed his eyes, Natsu saw Zeref. And sometimes, in the worst cases, he saw himself. He couldn't afford to lose any strength. Not if he was going to support and protect her like he'd promised.

Although, for the latter part of the journey, he _had_ been fully awake, sneaking glances at Lucy whenever she wasn't looking. This was their first adventure in over a year. He'd been so excited.

"And so I sent Loke to do some digging," Lucy was saying, her pack slung lazily from one shoulder. Natsu had offered to take it, but she'd insisted on carrying her own burdens.

"What did he find?" Natsu asked, though he'd only been half-listening.

Lucy placed a hand on her hip and stopped to admire the midday sun. Fingers of light combed through tresses of green leaves overhead, painting the soft earth a pale yellow. She sheltered her face under a hand and said, "Nothing, yet. He hasn't come back."

The way she said it made him think Loke _should_ have been back by now. It likely wasn't anything to worry about, though. He wouldn't return empty handed. Nobody liked hurting Lucy's feelings.

He probably knew Aquarius's location already.

There were rules in place, but Loke was Lucy's friend before he was her spirit. When called, he would do as she asked, tiptoeing around those fragile little rules. Would he tell her straight or dangle clues? If they really did find her at Clover Town...

"You know, I don't think I want Aquarius's key to be there," Natsu blurted.

Happy descended from the sky, shooting Natsu a glance that said far more than words ever could.

"Mmm," Lucy agreed, understanding him completely. Natsu let out a breath. "It _would_ be a shame if our adventure ended so soon."

"Maybe it doesn't have to," Natsu said. "Maybe after we visit Clover Town and reunite with Aquarius..."

Lucy spun on her heel and smiled so brightly it pierced through him, leaving pinpricks under his skin. His knees buckled.

"You really wanted to take on the Hundred Years Quest, right? We should go," she said.

Erza and the others had been slightly disappointed that Natsu and Lucy were going on a trip without them, but they'd promised to hold off on any big quests until their return.

Natsu's heartbeat quickened. She always knew what to say to make everything feel okay, like he wasn't balancing on a tightrope, destined to fall at any moment. Maybe he'd already fallen and time was trickling by in slow-motion. What happened when he hit the bottom?

"And we have the S-Class exam to train for too," he reminded her.

Makarov had prepared a new exam, issuing a date _two years_ in advance. He'd promised it would be the toughest one yet. Happy had offered to sit this one out, but Natsu couldn't imagine taking the exam with anyone else. And besides, competing against Lucy sounded like a lot of fun. They could still train together.

"I wonder if Cana will want to pair up with me again," Lucy thought aloud.

"Anyone would be lucky to have you on their team, Lucy."

She beamed at that.

"We better hurry," she said. "The weather is so unpredictable."

Due to a sudden downpour of rain, they'd taken shelter in Oshibana Town before starting their journey once again, lengthening their trip another two days. During their stay, they'd talked about the Dark Guild they'd once fought there, and how things had been eerily quiet since Zeref's defeat. It couldn't be that all those guilds suddenly _stopped_ their illegal activities.

Thinking back on those days made him realise just how far they'd come. Lucy used to whine and bicker during their quests. Now she remained steadfast, strong, taking the lead where she'd once hidden and cried.

And despite all of this, memories of the Alvarez War clung like sticky strands. Natsu just couldn't break free. He remained trapped in his own web of weakness.

He never wanted to put his friends in that kind of danger again.

"I really hope we arrive soon," Lucy said, stretching her hands high above her head. "I _seriously_ need a bath."

"Yeah, you _stink_ ,Lucy," Happy teased.

Natsu laughed, and suddenly she was chasing them through the trees, screaming and laughing at the top of her lungs.

Moments like this made him feel so human.

Clover Town sparkled. Where once it had been a dull place for guild masters to discuss their boring rules and regulations, it now shimmered with lights and laughter. The whole town glittered like an ongoing festival. Lanterns and odd decorations waved from wooden arches overhead, tinkling with little beads and ornaments.

Assorted posts bound in ribbon and lights created walkways into the once quiet town, lacrimas shimmering to create a narrow tunnel of colourful light even at midday. Crooked signposts stood almost every hundred paces with directions to various stalls and games.

An amalgam of savory and sweet scents wafted through the town, drawing Natsu left and right, his stomach growling, assaulting his senses with a building temptation. He wanted to eat _everything_.

During the remainder of their woodland travels, Loke had come and gone, promising to bring them more news if he found any. He'd confirmed that such a stall did exist, but he wasn't at liberty to say _which_ keys were being sold. He did, however, verify that the keys were not fakes. Lucy's eagerness had piqued since then, and she'd been rather flighty since they'd reached town. More than once he'd had to stop her from tripping over juts in the path, and now she wobbled and staggered beside him, desperate to see over the heads of people in front.

Exasperated, she bounced on her toes to catch a peek of the stalls ahead. "What's with this crowd?"

"Don't worry, Lucy. I'm sure Happy will find it soon."

They'd sent Happy to scout ahead for the stall, but the crowds had only thickened since then, knots of people tangling together in a tapestry of bobbing heads and colourful clothing. Even from above, they might have trouble finding what they needed.

As they reached the centre of town, strings of ribbon began to fall away, and the streets widened to form an entire plaza. A band of musicians played energetic melodies somewhere close by, causing Lucy to stop just once in the hopes of catching a peek. Repaved streets vanished beneath the crowds.

It was difficult to move here, let alone see anything through the sudden stop and start of curious by-passers. Sensing Lucy's discomfort and burning curiosity, Natsu took her pack and threw it on his back, allowing her to move more freely. It wasn't enough.

Lucy moved and squeezed, but the wall of people ahead was too dense to pass. They'd have to find another way around. She expelled a long, defeated sigh.

He couldn't take this anymore.

Natsu launched her onto his shoulders. She windmilled her arms and grabbed a fistful of his hair, yanking harder than he'd expected. Natsu groaned.

"Ease up, would ya?"

"Sorry. You surprised me." She lurched forward suddenly. "I see it, Natsu! I found the stall! And Happy!"

Reunited, the group meandered through the crowd, Happy shouting directions while Lucy pointed with a flailing arm.

The stall they arrived at wasn't magical in nature, but a table of cupcakes sheltered in little glass cases. Had they taken a wrong turn? No, he was sure they'd followed Happy's directions correctly.

"Hey, look," Lucy said.

Natsu followed her hand to a stack of cupcakes in the back of the display case. Just three of them, decorated with the Fairy Tail emblem. One blue, one pink, and one yellow.

"Oh, I see you like those," the merchant said. A soft smile graced the woman's wrinkled face. "They sell quick."

"They look so yummy!" Happy called.

"Should we buy them?" Lucy offered. "It's only fitting, right?"

Natsu nodded, almost forgetting Lucy on his shoulders. He gripped her thighs a little tighter for support.

"Happy, grab the jewels from my pack," Lucy said. And then, to the merchant, "We'll take all of them. Please."

The exchange was simple, and the cupcakes were placed in a beautifully hand-decorated box with intricate little swirls and an assortment of guild crests on the lid. It looked too beautiful to be a simple cake box.

"Do you happen to know if there's a stall selling keys nearby?" Lucy asked. "We're a little lost."

The woman nodded and, still smiling, pointed just two stalls down. Lucy saw the keys first, and her excitement caused Natsu to stagger sideways, almost tumbling over a small child in his way.

"Put me down! Put me down!" she chanted.

No sooner had he set her down did Lucy take off in a sprint. Natsu followed close behind her, but when he reached the stall her excitement had already extinguished. He entire body deflated with its departure. She tucked her hair behind an ear and sighed.

"It's not here," she said.

"You wield holder magic, miss?" the merchant asked. He was a tall man, wearing a large hood that shadowed his face.

"I do," Lucy said, instinctively touching the guard on her arm.

"We have a wide assortment of keys. Perhaps you'd like to try one?"

Lucy shook her head. "I'm sorry. I was looking for something specific."

The man lifted his head, revealing a stubbled chin and what Natsu could only describe as a sinister smile. "What is it, child? Perhaps I could procure it for you."

"No thanks," Natsu said. "We have to get going."

"But Nat—"

"Let's go, Lucy," he urged, dragging her away from the stall.

"What's wrong, Natsu?"

Happy dropped onto his shoulders. "That guy was _creeeepppppy_."

"I didn't like that guy one bit."

"I suppose it makes sense," she said with a shrug. "Most of the merchants here probably got their goods from weird places."

"Let's go find a place to stay for the night," Natsu said.

"And to bathe," she added. "I feel so gross."

He knew she meant inside as well. It would take more than soapy water to cleanse the disappointment on Lucy's face.

* * *

After settling in yet another small room with no bath, the three of them decided to locate food first. They'd eaten at a small cafe at the end of the street, and after consuming their fill, Lucy was finally ready to take her bath.

"Are you okay, Lucy?" Natsu asked.

She'd been quiet while they ate, her mind elsewhere. What she did say was a jumble of words not entirely relevant to their conversation. It was natural, he supposed. No matter how optimistic she tried to be, there would always be a part of her in mourning. Lucy's disappointment was natural. She was human, after all.

_Unlike you_. Natsu's head throbbed.

"Don't worry about me," she said. "I'll be fine. I promise."

"I'm sure Loke will bring us another clue," Natsu said.

She rummaged through her pack on the floor, retrieving random accessories and bottles she'd sealed in transparent pouches. Natsu sat on the end of the bed, kicking his heels against the board, watching with mild curiosity.

"What kind of place has a joint bath?" she muttered, still angered that she couldn't bathe in peace. It had been a while since he'd visited a place with shared baths. He'd offered to go with her, but that only sparked her anger more.

The inn wasn't that busy, and it was barely evening, so most tourists would be enjoying the day outside. She'd likely be alone anyway.

"You'll be fine," he said. "Just scream and I'll come running."

She laughed at that. "I can take care of myself."

Oh, he knew that.

"You two will be okay without me, right?" she asked.

Natsu snorted a laugh. "Aren't we always?"

"You'll behave?"

"We're _always_ well behaved," Happy said.

" _Right._ "

Grabbing her things, Lucy left the room, and Natsu's gaze ticked immediately to the box of cupcakes she'd left on the vanity table.

"You don't think she'll be mad if we eat them without her, right?" Natsu asked.

Happy rubbed his stomach. "No way. She bought them just for us."

Natsu liked that logic. He grabbed the box from the table and set it down on the bed. Even after sating his hunger, the cupcakes looked so big and scrumptious, the frosting almost luminous. He handed the blue one to Happy, who grinned at the similar shade of his fur coat.

Natsu inspected the remaining two. The yellow frosting reminded him of Lucy. So bright, like someone had taken the sun and placed it in a white, crinkled paper. He grabbed it without a second thought.

"Ready?" Natsu offered.

"Aye!"

They counted back from three and together took their first bite. And another bite. And more, until the cupcakes were gone and neither of them could believe the taste.

They both stared at the remaining cupcake.

"You don't think..." Natsu started.

"Lucy will be happy if we eat it for her," Happy told him. "She's always worrying about her weight."

And despite the nagging resistance in Natsu's mind, they split the pink cupcake in half and devoured it too. With the deed done, they both collapsed on the bed, euphoric, an odd swirl of warmth radiating through Natsu's stomach.

"How can something taste _that good_?" he said.

Happy hummed in agreement.

_Thud_. "Princess, your knight in shining armour has arrived!"

Natsu sprang upright. Loke stared in confusion, clearly not expecting Natsu and Happy to be sitting on the bed. He glanced about the room, brows knitted, eyes darting left and right.

"I could've sworn I sensed Lucy's presence here," Loke said.

"Well, she _was_ here. Barely five minutes ago," Natsu explained.

"You two are sharing rooms now?" Loke rubbed his chin. "So it's true. You are _like that_. I'm heartbroken, Natsu."

"What're you—" Natsu sighed. "Did you find something?"

"I did, but I'm not going to tell you~" Loke teased.

"Seriously?"

"No fair," Happy said.

"Where is Lucy?" Loke asked.

"She went to the baths downstairs," Natsu said.

"Wow, I was way off," Loke mumbled. And then, louder, "Well, I'd better hurry. I'd hate to use up all of Lucy's magic by loitering here."

Loke left without another word, storming out into the hallway with little respect for Natsu's presence _or_ Lucy's privacy. Natsu felt strangely goaded.

"Hey! She wouldn't want you barging in!" Natsu yelled, immediately chasing after him.

Happy followed behind, clearly amused by the situation.

"You sound jealous~" Loke sniped.

"I am _not_!"

"You've gotten slow, Natsu!"

Natsu pursued Loke until he reached the baths, signs pointing to a single curtain. Loke threw back the curtain and marched inside like a madman accepting his fate and willingly crawling under the guillotine.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Natsu followed after him.

"Where do you think she'll hit him?" Happy asked.

"I'm more concerned about where she'll hit _me_ ," Natsu said.

He'd done his best to respect her privacy during his lengthy stay at Lucy's apartment, though he'd lost count of how many times he'd walked in on her in the bath, or on the toilet, or half-dressed. Natsu rubbed his face, scrubbing the images from mind. He couldn't think about naked Lucy right now.

Lucy's scream erupted from deeper inside. "Get out!"

Natsu charged to her rescue. He found Loke standing at the circular edge of the open bath. Lucy had stood during his disturbance, her waist barely concealed in the steaming water.

"I told you not to go in!" Natsu yelled. He'd curry favour with Lucy now so she didn't try to kick his ass later. It's not like she'd ever land the hit, but _damn_ was her rage relentless. She'd probably sulk for days.

"Natsu?! And Happy, too? What are you guys doing here?" Lucy covered her bare chest, her expression softening with concern. "Is something wrong?"

"I bring news, Lucy. A sighting! In the woods just west of here," Loke said.

"Why didn't you just tell _us_ that?" Natsu asked.

Loke's grin widened. "Because I missed you guys. I wanted to see the gang all together, ya know? Let's play again soon."

Lucy's face burned with embarrassment, glowing a visible red. "T-that aside, you shouldn't have come in here!"

The inflection in her voice rippled uncomfortably in his mind. Natsu's stomach twisted oddly, and he forced himself to take a breath. Maybe he'd run too fast after eating those cupcakes.

"There are rumours of a water spirit living behind a waterfall," Loke said, ignoring her in his excitement. "I can't tell you anything else, or verify the rumours. I hope this helps, Lucy. We want you to be reunited, too."

Natsu had to wonder if Loke was leading her on a scavenger hunt for fun. He had to know where Aquarius's real location was. Why would he want them to travel from one place to the next when he could simply lead her in the right direction?

He'd seen Lucy at her worst. He'd been there when Natsu couldn't be. This wasn't really about Aquarius for him, Natsu realised. It was about seeing Lucy adventuring again, enjoying the world she loved instead of drowning in papers and despair at her desk. Of course he'd cultivate rumours like this one.

Lucy smiled, lowering her guard—and her arms, exposing her naked chest.

"Whoa, Lucy~" Happy teased.

She screamed again, this time splashing water over the side. Natsu hopped back. Loke vanished from sight, leaving him to suffer her wrath.

"Get. Out!" she yelled.

Natsu hurried outside, Happy bubbling with laughter as they exited the room.

"I had every right to be there," Natsu mumbled, looking at the sign. "It's a shared bath."

"You sound disappointed~" Happy teased.

Natsu blew out a breath. "Don't be—"

Another scream boomed from inside. Natsu blenched. Lucy's voice echoed, growing louder, and suddenly she was sprinting out of the baths, still dressing as she ran.

"Lucy! What's going on?"

She didn't answer.

"Let's go!" Happy yelled.

But Natsu couldn't go. He took one step and his whole body careened, a dark fog sweeping over his mind. Nausea pulsed, hot and burning.

"Natsu? Hey, Natsu!"

And then he collapsed.


	4. Burning Truths

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Some of you might recognise elements of this chapter from the original, unfinished version of Journey's End! It was originally written in Natsu's perspective, so I'm excited to show you things from Lucy's side this time around. A lot of things have been altered this time around. I'm curious to see how many of your remember the original version! Haha! Thank you for reading!
> 
> I'm updating a little early because I'm in the UK visiting family right now so I may not have time in the morning. :)

Lucy stood in dimly lit solitude.

The baths were empty, nothing but steam and warmth rushing to greet her. She sank into relief, let it devour her trepidation and swallow the tension in her muscles. She stretched both arms in front of her chest and let out a contented sigh. She almost felt bad for leaving Natsu behind. He needed to relax too.

He'd done everything in his power to distract her. It just wasn't enough. Nothing could reduce the hurt right now. The only thing worse than not seeing Aquarius was having her so close, like water in cupped hands, and watching her spill away.

For just a moment, a tiny fraction of a second, she'd really believed they might find her.

"Enough of that, Lucy. Gotta stay positive!"

The bath was average in size, a circular pool in the centre of the tiled floor, steam curling from waist-high water. It didn't look like anyone but the innkeepers had been here in a while. It made sense. With merchants coming and going day by day, there was little need for them to rent a room.

Carved into the stone walls, shelved alcoves ran in pairs, serving as dry storage for clothing and supplies. Lucy stripped and folded her clothes neatly, securing her keys within the folds of her suit. She laid her boots on top and stood facing the mirrored tiles on the wall.

Her reflection glowered in the foggy glass. Lucy combed her fingers through greasy hair, knocking strands away from her slick forehead. She _really_ hated this part of travelling. Adventures were fun and all, but hygienic? Not so much. She _could_ have Cancer fix her hair, but that would cost magic as well as time. Lucy wasn't doing so well on either right now.

She twisted her chain around a finger, Aquarius's key lifting along the delicate links. So what if they hadn't found the key today? There would be other days. Lots of them, in fact.

He'd promised her forever, after all.

 _Get it together, Lucy_.

Barely five minutes apart and she was already wondering what Natsu was doing. He better not be messing with her pack. His pranks were getting out of hand lately, and that didn't include the ones she'd thwarted.

She stared at the guild mark on her hand, turning it back and forth in the muted light. Lucy couldn't imagine life without them now. She'd spent one year away from Fairy Tail, away from Natsu, and it had been torture. She'd lied to herself with every smile. But that's the thing about lies: they always come unstuck.

Just thinking about Fairy Tail's disbandment made Lucy's heart twinge. It was all her fault. She had nobody else to blame for her loneliness. If she'd had Natsu's courage, if she'd been as strong as Erza, maybe she could have reunited them. She could have done what Natsu did. She _should_ have.

Who was she kidding? Lucy couldn't even save him right. Since the day she'd tampered with Zeref's magic, she'd known something was wrong. And just like she did before, Lucy had locked everything away until Natsu hand-picked his way inside.

Lucy had a feeling Gray knew. He'd been more attentive during the past year, constantly checking in on her whenever he and Juvia returned to the guild. He always asked the strangest questions. She appreciated the concern, but there was nothing he could do. How do you fix a problem when you don't even know what the problem _is_ yet?

She would save Natsu a thousand times over if she had to. But at what cost? And how? Everything about Zeref just seemed so cold and cruel. Despite his curse, it was like his heart possessed no light at all. Perhaps Mavis had been the only one able to see it.

Lucy still remembered the pain of E.N.D.'s powers coursing through her. The thought alone seemed to summon it anew. Her temperature rose, pulsating. Her breath steamed the mirrored wall.

_What?_

Disorientated, she slapped a hand on the glass, her fingers sliding across the tiles. Veins branched in all directions from her eyes, passing over her cheeks like thin vines. They forked and split, growing, until they suddenly vanished.

Lucy touched her face, too fear-stricken to make a sound.

She half-expected to see Zeref in the glass, watching, his face mocking. Lucy closed her eyes and inhaled a long, much needed breath. She was just tired. That had to be it.

Washing herself down before entering the bath, Lucy reminisced about her first days in Fairy Tail, hoping to cast away the negative thoughts, and how Natsu had really changed her life. It was difficult to imagine taking _any_ new steps without him. And Happy, for that matter. They were a family.

Sinking into the bath, Lucy was about to indulge in a moment's peace when the curtain opened. Loke rushed into the room with a telling smile.

She stood in a panic. Before he could utter a word, Lucy let out a belated scream, the sound echoing through the entire room.

"Get out!" she shrieked.

Natsu charged in a moment later, Happy hot on his trail, and Lucy knew her time of peace was over. So much for that!

"I told you not to go in!" Natsu scolded.

Lucy expelled a heavy breath. "Natsu?! And Happy, too? What are you guys doing here?" She paused, suddenly concerned. "Is something wrong?"

All eyes turned on her. Realising she was exposed, Lucy covered her chest and fought to suppress the heat ravaging her face. Stupid, stupid Natsu.

"I bring news, Lucy. A sighting! In the woods just west of here," Loke said.

Did he mean the woods at the base of Mt. Hakobe?

"Why didn't you just tell _us_ that?" Natsu asked.

So that's why they were here. Loke must've teased Natsu with information. But that didn't explain why he'd shown up in their room instead of coming straight to Lucy. Though, given her current situation, she was _glad_ he hadn't manifested right here in the baths.

Loke grinned. "Because I missed you guys. I wanted to see the gang all together, ya know? Let's play again soon."

Lucy's face burned with embarrassment. "T-that aside," she said, "you shouldn't have come in here!"

She loved Loke. She trusted him with her life. But that didn't mean she wanted him barging in during her private time. Especially without warning!

Her gaze flickered to Natsu, who looked suddenly like he'd taken a punch to the stomach and was just now feeling it.

"There are rumours of a water spirit living behind a waterfall," Loke said. "I can't tell you anything else, or verify the rumours. I hope this helps, Lucy. We want you to be reunited, too."

Even though he knew it was against the rules, even though he couldn't tell her where Aquarius was, Loke still wanted to participate in her journey. He wanted her to succeed, not as Lucy's spirit, but as a friend. She was so touched that in the moment all tensions dissolved, and Lucy's arms dropped to her sides, hands sinking into the water.

"Whoa, Lucy~" Happy chirped.

Lucy screamed and thrashed water over the edge of the bath. Loke disappeared like smoke in the wind, leaving Natsu to dodge the wave by himself.

"Get. Out!" she yelled.

To her surprise, they left willingly.

Collapsing in the bath, she sank against the seat, fingers clasped in her lap beneath the water. A spirit, huh? The chances of it being Aquarius were low, but it did sound fun. She couldn't remember the last time they'd journeyed like this.

Growing up, Lucy had always dreamed of adventures, but journeys like this only existed in books. She was living her own story now.

"Honestly," she breathed, "those two will be the—"

Hands clapped over her mouth. Lucy sank her teeth into the palm, screaming so loud the noise tore through flesh and bone. Her assailant uttered a curse. She grabbed the man's wrist and launched him into the water. He dragged her under. Lucy thrashed and kicked, driving an elbow into his face. She barely managed to escape.

Hacking water, Lucy clambered onto the edge. A second figure rummaged through her clothes near the alcoves. She saw a familiar wink of light.

Her keys.

"Stop!" she screamed.

Too late. The hooded figure snatched up Lucy's guard and bolted. The man in the pool was gone.

Panic swelled within her. Lucy snatched up her clothes, barely pulling the suit over her waist before she emerged through the entrance, bursting past Natsu at speeds she didn't know she could reach.

"Lucy!"

Their voices faded. She didn't have time to explain or stop. She had to keep moving, before this journey for Aquarius turned into a journey for the rest of her keys.

She slid into the arms of her suit and skidded onto the street, bare feet cold on the stone pavement. No sign of the thieves.

Lucy scrubbed her face and groaned, more irritated with herself than anything. Something about the man had been familiar. Tall, hooded, a voice thick and scratchy, like gravel...

_The key merchant._

That settled it. Lucy _had_ to stop them.

Whip in hand, Lucy sprinted through the street, headed towards the plaza where the stalls had once been. She spotted one of them turning into an alley, and despite the raging fear in her mind, turned in to follow them.

They were both waiting.

The figure holding her keys lowered the black hood to reveal a young woman's face, red hair slicked back into a ponytail, dark eyes alive with adrenaline. It would be her undoing.

"What happened to your friends?" she asked, the voice surprisingly sweet.

Lucy didn't need to glance behind her to know that Natsu hadn't followed. There was something hollow in her chest, a pang of emptiness, like their connection had suddenly been severed. She wanted to turn back and find him, but she knew he'd be angry if she did. He would tell her to rescue her keys first.

But how? She hadn't been in a real fight since the war...

"Too bad you didn't eat that cupcake. I wouldn't have to kill you now," the woman said.

Lucy's mind raced back to the cupcake stall. It couldn't be...

This was the same woman?

Now it all made sense. The stall seeming to appear out of nowhere, even though they'd been sure they were at the right place. Those three cupcakes, placed perfectly on view. How could she have been so blind?

"Wait, they _ate_ the cupcakes without me?!" Lucy realised.

"That's what you're concerned about?" the woman hissed.

Oh, nice. She liked attention.

"Well, unlucky for you, my friends are pigs," Lucy said. "Now give me back my keys."

The woman laughed, and whether obnoxious or stupid, threw Lucy's arm guard into the middle of the alley.

"Come and take them," she said.

Lucy hadn't taken a step before the man made his move, a mirage of motion so quick it seemed invisible. He blurred past her, and blood spat from Lucy's cheek and shoulder, skin torn open as he passed.

She ignored the sting and kept moving, but the keys slid out of reach, pushed by that same blurring motion. The hooded man appeared behind his comrade once more.

So they liked games? That's fine. Thanks to Natsu, Lucy was good at games. And she really liked to win.

Lucy stepped as if to reach for the keys again, but when the man moved she released her whip, and the snap of it connected. The pain slowed him enough that she could ensnare him completely, pulling the whip tight. She knew it wasn't enough. Not to capture him, at least. But it was a distraction for _her_.

It seemed her hunch was right, and these two were more than partners, because the woman was coming this way. Lucy dropped her whip and pivoted on her left foot, right heel striking the woman's temple, sending her clean across the alley.

"Learned that one from Loke," she said, planting her foot back on the ground.

No sooner had the woman collapsed was her partner rushing in for the kill. Lucy gripped Aquarius's key and summoned the power within herself, a shield of water appearing as if from nowhere, blocking the man's approach. He bounced off the magic and, staggering, didn't notice her reclaim the whip on the ground.

With a single snap she had his legs and, one last pull, he collapsed. These weren't professional mages by any means.

"What do you want?" she asked, using the pressure of Aquarius's magic to hold the man at bay. His partner wouldn't be conscious anytime soon.

"What all of Zeref's followers want. A world without restrictions. A magical paradise where we can be who we truly are."

Not even unlimited magic would help them defeat her. These guys were poorly trained, using little tricks to steal their wares.

"Zeref is dead," Lucy snapped, alarmed at just how cold she could be.

The man smiled beneath the shade of his hood. "But his ideas live through us. Cut off a worm's head and it'll still squirm until you finish the job."

"How many others are there?" Lucy asked.

"Why should I tell you?"

She felt an odd chill pass through her, a ghost of something evil, something broken. A single tear rolled down her cheek. "Because I said so."

The man froze. He didn't struggle. He didn't speak. An odd rage filled Lucy with fire that spilled out through her fingers. She punched him clean in the face. Once. Twice. A third time. Blood sprayed from his nose. His head rolled to the side, unconscious. She drew back her bloody fist, knuckles sore, and stared in horror at what she'd done. The cold entity released her.

Aquarius's power slipped away. "What was—"

Pain sluiced through her body, gathering in her temples, kindling hot. Lucy held her forehead, barely able to open her eyes as the agony built under her skin. Her fingers clenched, pulling at her cheeks, her temples, wishing she could claw it all away.

_Make it stop!_

Heat throbbed in her face, ebbed, then receded. Footsteps bounded into the alleyway. Lucy stood, prepared again for another fight. She stepped against the wall and hid, one with the shadows, until the figure emerged right at the corner. She threw her leg into the air, barely stopping her foot an inch from Natsu's face.

His eyes widened. Slowly, Natsu lowered her foot. Pain flared in his eyes—the pain of being too late.

"Did they hurt you?" he asked, noticing the blood on her hand.

"Lucy, did you fight these guys all by yourself?" Happy asked.

Lucy didn't speak, instead stepping over the bodies to collect her keys. She slipped the guard into place and traced a tender finger over the keys in each pocket.

"I couldn't let them take my friends, could I?" Lucy said.

Natsu's expression softened. He took her injured hand and deftly wiped away the blood, nursing her injured knuckles so tenderly she thought she might cry.

"I'm sorry, Lucy. I don't know what happened," he said.

"You ate the cupcakes, that's what."

"W-what?" Happy fluttered in denial. "We did not! No way!"

"They were laced with some kind of magic," she explained. "Probably hers." Lucy gestured to the unconscious woman and shrugged. "They said they were Zeref's followers."

Natsu bristled. "We should tell the council."

Lucy nodded in agreement.

"What happened? You're acting kinda weird," Natsu said.

"Nothing."

But the truths were there, burning under her flesh, desperate to loose havoc on the world. She brushed wet hair from her shoulders and took Natsu's hand quickly, leading him away from the alley.

"You know, you're really cool, Lucy," he said, choosing to let her secrets remain secrets. "I was all fired up to take out these losers. Now I have a bunch of energy I need to use."

She laughed at that. "I can think of something for you to do."

His cheeks tinted pink and he grinned that Dragneel grin. "Yeah? Like what?"

"Like, for example"—she traced a finger along his cheek—"take a bath. You're filthy, Natsu!"

* * *

It was still dark when Lucy woke that morning, fatigue heavy in her eyes, sorrow heavier in her heart. Natsu hadn't said much after returning to the inn, opting to take his bath and leave her in peace. It was the kind of quiet she often begged for, but it had been too much. Lucy shouldn't be left alone with her thoughts.

The silence had given her too much time to think. Though, not all of these thoughts had been bad ones. She'd considered a path forward. First, they would visit the waterfall. Afterwards, should their efforts be fruitless, they would head to Crocus. She would find information there. She was sure of it.

Lucy shifted under the blankets. Lumbered by Natsu's weight, she had no choice but to accept her fate at the edge of the bed. He lie on his stomach behind her, one arm strewn across her waist, the other thrust beneath a great mountain of pillows. Happy sprawled across the mound, snoring peacefully.

"Lucy..." Natsu mumbled.

Lucy's heart pounded. She rubbed her face, memories of E.N.D.'s power coming away with her hands. She wanted to tell Natsu everything.

"Why aren't you moving, Lucy?"

Lucy flinched. How could she tell him the truth? She'd be making his nightmares a reality, dragging all of his monsters into the light, where they'd feast on him every second of every day.

She wriggled out of his embrace, slowly, quietly, moving his arm as delicately as if he were glass hanging off the edge of a table, just waiting to shatter. She felt her way across the hardwood floor and made her way into the bathroom.

Lucy's face hurt. Dried flakes of skin clung in place of the marks, remnants of E.N.D.'s heat. Her body wasn't equipped to handle that kind of power.

Natsu's voice carried through the door.

She splashed her face with cold water and stared into the mirror, her face a shadow in the soft glow of moonlight outside. Her eye twitched. Small veins spread across the left side of her face. Burning. She sought out lost courage and touched one of the markings, tracing the pattern with her finger.

This wasn't a dream. Lucy was running out of time.

Two years. She'd bought Natsu two years of a normal, human life. That's all her words were worth? Two measly...

No. Not measly.

Even a single day with Natsu was better than no days at all. She'd saved him once. She could do it again. She had to.

Yesterday's fight seemed like a blur of memories that weren't her own. The council arrested the thieves with no more than a thank you, barely acknowledging Lucy's part in it. It had nothing to do with them now.

_'Cut off a worm's head and it'll still squirm until you finish the job.'_

Lucy clenched a fist, that same rage igniting deep within her stomach. Arms slid around her waist from behind, extinguishing the fire. Lucy relaxed. She saw Natsu's face in the mirror, his head on her shoulder, eyes closed to the weariness of bad dreams.

"Come back to bed, Lucy," he mumbled.

Happy grabbed her leg. "The sun isn't awake yet."

Lucy placed her hands over Natsu's, patting gently. Neither one of them moved.

"What's with you two?" she asked.

"We're sorry we ate the cupcakes," Happy said.

Lucy had to hold her breath to keep from laughing too loudly. "Really? _That's_ what you're upset about? You should know I'm used to the two of you eating my food by now."

It had been going on for years, after all.

"Lucy..." Natsu's arms tightened around her waist. "I'm sorry. I promise I'll be there from now on."

"I told you I can handle myself," she said.

"I'll protect you," he whispered, and now she _knew_ he was falling asleep.

Sure enough Natsu's weight increased. Lucy pitched forward, catching herself on the sink. Natsu was too heavy. She collapsed on the floor, Natsu falling on top of her. Happy passed out by her feet.

"Hey, don't fall asleep here." Lucy poked Natsu's cheek. "Natsu? Are you seriously asleep right now?"

Nothing.

She propped herself against the sink cabinet. Natsu's arms remained snug around her waist. Lucy sighed and moved his face onto her lap, where he remained soundly asleep for the rest of the morning.

* * *

"Man, I slept great!" Natsu said, stretching one arm above his head.

Lucy glared into the back of his skull, her eyes burning with exhaustion, her muscles twitching with every step. He'd slept on her for _hours._

Clover Town was a distant blur of clouds and buildings behind them, nothing but empty strath and blue skies ahead. Natsu insisted he knew the way, and sure enough Lucy spotted trees in the far distance, though still too far away to be a relief for her aching legs. They should reach the woodlands sometime in the afternoon, which meant limited sunlight before they reached the waterfall Loke mentioned.

"Let's race, Natsu!" Happy called, zooming through the air with an enviable burst of energy.

She watched them speed off ahead, laughing and bickering as they went. Lucy didn't bother to chase them. She watched them disappear over the hillside, admiring the small river instead, matching the steady flow as it meandered through the open terrain.

"I'm so tired," she groused. " _One_ of us had to play the pillow last night."

She had almost forgotten about Natsu's superior hearing, so when he stopped dead on the hill Lucy almost panicked. He turned to face her, silently goading her to catch up with him. She didn't give him the satisfaction.

When Lucy did finally reach the zestful pair, she took a moment to catch her breath and rub the tension from her thighs. Everything hurt so much.

"This is ridiculous," she groaned. "I'm so out of shape."

"You _did_ spend a lot of time cooped up at your desk", Natsu said.

"Still..." She felt so useless.

"How come you're so tired, Lucy? You looked pretty rested this morning," Happy said.

Lucy smiled wryly. "Are you sure that wasn't you?"

Natsu grinned. "I know what'll give you some energy!"

He dropped his pack on the ground, rummaging quickly for something deep at the bottom. He withdrew a small box, barely the size of his palm, and held it out to her.

"What is this?" she asked, her imagination running wild.

"Open it!"

"Wow, Natsu. So suddenly!" Happy teased.

Lucy waved him off. "Be quiet!"

Although hesitant, Lucy took the box and popped the lid open. It was a single cupcake with pink frosting. Small letters in icing read: _Sorry._

"Natsu... When did you..."

"I slipped out before you woke up."

Lucy secured the box in her pack and said, "You couldn't move me to the bed?"

"You were snoring, Lucy," Happy ribbed.

"You looked peaceful," Natsu said coolly.

 _Tell that to my neck_ , she thought.

"Thank you," she said instead. "Both of you."

"Now let's go find Aquarius!" he said, throwing Lucy over his shoulder as if she were no heavier than a feather, pack and all.

She dangled on her stomach, thumping his back with her fists. "Natsu! Put me down!"

Natsu patted her thighs. "This way will be much faster, don't you think?"

She sighed, deflating against his back. Arguing with these boys was futile. She should've learned that lesson a long, long time ago.

"Race you!" Happy challenged again.

"Natsu Dragneel, don't you dare run with me on your—"

"Hold on tight!"

Lucy screamed.


	5. Words Unspoken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It's almost the 14th here in England so here you go! I'll try to update on time again next week but things could get a little hectic (since I fly back to the USA on the 22nd, all being well). Worst case scenario I drop to one update a week until things are more stable for me. I wish I had time to edit the chapters but hopefully you're enjoying them anyway! Haha.

Being here again reminded Natsu of Igneel.

It was deep in this place that Natsu had grieved his father, and in these woods that he had overcome his physical boundaries, learned to harness the pain and use it against those who might hurt his friends.

The battle with Tartaros had cost him everything. His purpose. His strength. His guild. It had been so easy to make excuses for running away. And that's exactly what he'd done. Natsu had packed up his things, sealed tight with a bow of misery, and then he'd vanished.

Back then, he couldn't even say goodbye. He'd know his actions would hurt Lucy. He'd known she would cry, but he'd done it anyway. Left her that stupid letter. And now, no matter how much he tried to excuse it, Natsu was reaping the consequences of his cowardice. Every time he looked at Lucy, whenever she smiled, he had to wonder just how much of it was real, and how much of it was a disguise.

Natsu had come to learn that time didn't heal anything. Time could not abate their pain or regrets. Every sin was a scar that would last forever, and only by acknowledging the wounds could he ever hope to find forgiveness.

Even now, when he closed his eyes, Natsu regretted seeing how Lucy had lived all alone. He still saw that board in her Crocus apartment, pinned with images of all their friends, articles of the lives they'd lived without her.

Reuniting the guild wasn't enough. He was simply too late. The damage was done, and every passing day made it harder to broach the subject. To tell her the truth. He wanted to apologise sincerely. He wanted to explain why he left her that letter...

"Are you sure this is the right way?" Lucy asked.

She followed close behind him, her footsteps muted by the underbrush, her breathing heavy. He could hear her wrestling with trees, the snap and pop of broken branches playing an unwelcome melody in his brain.

The cool spring air danced through the treetops, rustling leaves, carrying with it the sound of running water. He knew they were close. They had to be. Natsu honed his senses and listened, following the roar of rushing water.

Happy stayed close to Lucy, the trees too low for him to fly, branches tangling low and thick above their heads. Where the trees impacted their walk, Natsu cleared a path, following his instincts and nothing else.

"Natsu?" she pressed. "We've been walking for _hours_."

"I offered to carry you."

Natsu had put her down when they'd reached the woods, and only because Lucy had complained so loudly. She didn't seem to realise it, but she'd hurt her ankle during the fight in Clover Town and had been partially limping ever since.

"I hear it." Natsu stopped suddenly, changing direction. "Here, this way."

"You said that last time."

"Come on. Hurry."

They moved deeper into the woods, Natsu stopping only to help Lucy climb over huge tree roots in the ground. They emerged between a channel of large oaks to find a spacious outcrop, the grass thinning to rock and soil, wet shrubbery bordering the edge of a low cliff. And there, in all the glory he remembered, was the grand waterfall.

Lucy expelled a breath beside him. "It's beautiful."

The trees were sparse here, their rustling a soft melody compared to the bristling of leaves behind them. It was suddenly quiet.

Natsu dropped his pack and Lucy did the same, spreading a blanket on the softer part of ground. She collapsed to her knees with an exaggerated sigh, Aquarius's key clinking low between her breasts. The golden chain sat delicately on her skin. It really did suit her.

"My feet hurt so much," she complained, rubbing her thighs and shins.

"You should've stayed on my back."

"If only you had wings instead of those big thighs, Lucy," Happy quipped.

"I shared my cupcake with you, cat."

Lucy fell onto her back, Happy sprawling across her stomach, and together they absorbed the warm sun like beacons of light meant to refocus Natsu's thoughts and shatter the darkness entirely. A growing sense of gratitude filled him with love.

He stared at the low cliff overlooking the plunge pool far below, remembering Gildarts's advice from back then. He'd told Natsu to be honest with himself. That it was okay to smile even though his heart was aching.

He'd promised to get stronger as they sat together near the waterfall, reminiscing and sharing their heart's deepest secrets.

Future Lucy... Igneel...

He couldn't stand to lose anyone else. He'd watched them both die. Too slow. Too weak. Just a spectator in Fate's cruel game, watching as Death swung His gavel and judged the souls he loved the most, taking them far, far away.

"Are you okay, Natsu?"

Lucy had sat up on the blanket, Happy nestled against her lap.

"Yeah, you haven't mentioned food once," Happy said.

"I was just thinking about something Gildarts said to me before."

"Oh?" Lucy coaxed. "What about him?"

"See that steam?" Natsu deflected, not ready to share remnants of his most vulnerable conversations with her yet. Lucy nodded that she did. "According to Gildarts, the water heats up because of the lacrima buried underground. That's why the plunge pool is warm enough to swim in."

Lucy stepped to the edge of the cliff, peering down at the pool below. It wasn't a long drop, he knew, though it certainly looked it from the highest point where she stood.

"So the water is really warm?" she asked.

Natsu and Happy shared a knowing look, the kind of look that would definitely get them into trouble. With an approving nod from Happy, Natsu tiptoed towards Lucy. She didn't suspect a thing.

"Should we find out?" Natsu asked, sneaking up behind her.

And then he pushed her off the cliff.

Lucy's screams plunged into the water below, Natsu's laughter chasing after her. She burst from the pool a moment later, hair plastered to her face, hands flailing. She must've found something to stand on, because Lucy stopped struggling to throw her fists in the air.

Happy joined Natsu's side and together they watched her burst with anger.

"Natsu Dragneel!" she cursed, the words clear to his heightened senses.

"How is it, Lucy?" he yelled down to her.

"You jerk!" she went on, smacking the water. "My clothes are drenched! This is all I have!"

"She's really mad," Happy said.

Yeah, she really was. And somehow that got Natsu smiling. It was starting to feel a lot like old times, before the Alvarez War. Before all this talk of demons and sacrifice.

She disappeared from sight and reappeared a moment later, no longer wearing her clothes or keys. He saw the faintest silhouette of her body wading through water, clouded by the waterfall's disturbing force. She'd never admit it after he pushed her, but Lucy liked the water, and was clearly enjoying herself just a _little bit_.

She swam into the centre of the pool, staring long and hard at the waterfall. He could tell by her silence that she couldn't see any spirit. Natsu had a feeling they wouldn't find anything, but he'd wanted to give her more hope after Clover Town's market was a bust.

"We shouldn't let Lucy have all the fun, right?" Natsu said, stripping out of his clothes.

"Aye, sir!"

Together, Natsu and Happy leapt from the cliff, Happy spreading his wings to skirt the water at the very last second. Natsu dropped into the pool with a mighty _splosh_.

Sunlight rippled across the surface, colours coalescing in the deep waters. It was almost mystical. Holding his breath, Natsu let himself sink a little deeper, embracing the warmth and the distracting crash of the waterfall overhead.

He spotted Lucy's legs moving closer. Unable to resist, Natsu grabbed her ankle, pulling her down into the water. Colours burst against her back, illuminating her naked form in a halo of light and dark. Lucy's eyes widened when she saw him floating there. Naked.

They surfaced together, Lucy coughing out the water she'd swallowed, and Natsu barely choking out his laughter.

"Why are _you_ naked?" she gasped out.

"It seemed kinda mean to let you suffer alone," he said, but really he'd just wanted to feel the hot water on his skin, immerse himself in the crystal calm of it.

"Don't you come over here," she protested, extending an arm to block his approach. "Stay on your side of the pool."

"Why is this my side?" he asked.

Happy floated to the platform beside them, where Lucy had spread out her clothes to dry on the stone formations close by.

"The sun is really bright here," she said, squinting, clearly trying to avoid talks of how naked they were.

Natsu grinned. "It's great, right?"

Between the warm sun on his back and the soothing water on his skin, Natsu felt his tensions melting away like snow in spring. Enduring nightmare after nightmare took its toll, even on him. He just wanted to forget for a while.

He didn't want to see Lucy dying every time he closed his eyes. He had to focus on this Lucy, _his_ Lucy, the one that existed right now. But it was so hard to forget his mistakes. He should've been faster then. Smarter. He should've saved her too.

"So you and Gildarts were here together, huh?" She paused for a long moment. "Back then."

_Back then_. It seemed the memories of Fairy Tail's disbandment were still fresh in Lucy's heart. But of course they were. For an entire year, every day, every night, Lucy had lived her life alone. Isolated. No matter how he looked at it, no matter how many excuses he made, Natsu had done exactly what he'd set out to prevent: he'd failed her. Again.

"Lucy, I—"

"I'm so relieved," she said, tears dripping onto her cheeks.

"W-wait, why are you crying?!"

"Don't cry, Lucy!" Happy yelled behind them. "Your clothes will dry soon. We're sorry!"

"I was so worried about you both," she confessed. "But knowing you weren't alone..." She wiped her face with wet hands. "I'm so happy."

No. No, this wasn't right. It wasn't fair! She couldn't be the candle lighting his way all the time, cleansing him of darkness. He wanted to ease her burdens too, her fears and doubts, her loneliness, her heartache. Past or present, Natsu wanted to be her light too.

All these unspoken feelings boiled to the surface, spilling over the edges of his heart and leaving hot blisters. "Listen, Lucy, I have something to tell you. It's about..."

She didn't seem to hear him. Something in the waterfall had caught Lucy's attention, and now she wasn't listening to him at all. She stared, transfixed, her legs barely kicking beneath the water. He registered no fear in her face.

Happy appeared at Natsu's side. "W-what _is_ that?"

They all saw it then—the figure standing behind the waterfall. It looked almost like a woman.

Lucy moved first, breaking through the waterfall with the ease of a knife carving butter. Her silhouette undulated behind the wall of water and disappeared.

"Lucy!" Happy called, soaring after her.

Natsu followed quickly, breaching the waterfall to access a narrow cave. Nothing but spiraling darkness awaited. He gazed into the black maw, suddenly alone in that damned room, Zeref's voice a nuisance in his ear.

Natsu hesitated.

Frigid air lashed his naked skin, but Natsu called his flames to smother the chill immediately. He wouldn't let his demons best him. Unlike his dreams, the fire here didn't burn, nor did it extinguish in the darkness. He banished the cold and forced himself to move.

"Don't be scared, Lucy," Happy was saying up ahead.

"I'm not scared. I'm _cold_."

"You _pointed_ that out already."

"I will murder you, cat. Just wait."

Happy's nervous laughter rang out like signals in the shadows.

Natsu followed the sound of their voices.

A rotten smell greeted him as the cave narrowed, the bite of speleothem diverting his path. He squeezed through the stalagmites and cast his flames forward. He found Lucy and Happy standing at a dead end, their backs to him. They were looking at an odd statue.

Soda straws hung in multi-coloured spikes from the ceiling, splintered in fragments around the statue's head like a crown, thorns puncturing the woman's eyes. She held an empty lacrima in her hands.

"A person," Happy said, and the chill of his tone left Natsu hollow.

"It's one of the Wise Mages," Lucy said, never missing an opportunity to showcase her huge brain. "Hitomi, the Seeress. Some people said she was a Goddess."

"Creepy," Happy said.

Natsu stared at the empty lacrima, and at the weird carvings scrawled along its fragile surface.

Lucy circled the statue and read, "'See no evil'. It's part of a saying used often today, but the meaning of the words is still up for debate."

Neither one of them seemed to notice the woman standing behind the statue, white hair flowing like gossamer silk at her back. Her eyes were nothing but hollow sockets spewing blood. Natsu's mind flashed back to his fight with Dimaria, and to the awful, awful things he had done. The things he'd forgotten. Until just now.

"Even today, there are scholars who argue that the words were used not against wrongdoers, but against those who turned a blind eye to the injustices in their world." Lucy spread her hands. "For some people, ignoring a wrongful act is just as bad as committing it."

_"We had to be stopped,"_ the woman said.

Natsu took a haggard step back. "They weren't mages."

He realised too late that he'd said the words aloud.

"What are you talking about?" Lucy asked.

His heart sank so deep it almost plunged through his boots. "She was a demon. They all were."

Happy visibly shivered.

"How could you possibly know that?" Lucy said, though he knew it was her fear that made her defensive and not her distrust in his words.

"Because she's here."

Lucy recoiled from the statue, fear and confusion giving her two left feet. She stumbled. Natsu extinguished his flames to catch her, casting them in darkness. Hitomi manifested in the shadows, her body sickly white and glowing. Lucy covered her mouth to suppress a scream. Happy latched onto her free arm.

_"Long ago, Zeref Dragneel sought us to erase his sins and break his curse. Our powers were corrupted by those sins, and we began to wreak destruction on you humans. He did not care, for he had already abandoned his will to live, seeking only an end."_ The woman smiled sadly. " _You were nothing but a babe, son of Igneel."_

"How do you know Igneel?"

_"Before my brothers and I were cursed to live as demons, we were Holy Mages, beloved by all creatures. It was our job to guide the natural order of magic. We could not change our fates."_

Lucy clung to Natsu's arm now, clearly unsettled by the woman's words. "You asked Igneel to kill you?"

Hitomi laughed a sound that twinkled like small bells chiming in sync. " _I asked only that he lend me his wings_." She gestured to the cavern. " _After I took my own life, he brought me here, and I became the statue you see now. This place is blessed. The water cannot cleanse your sins, but it can heal the spirit. And mine was too broken to die_."

"But why..." Lucy stepped forward. "Why didn't you try? You could've done _something_. Anything!"

" _We loved this world too much. All of you. The curse could not be undone, and the future I foresaw could only be changed by my death. The more you love, the more the curse takes away. It would have been the end."_

Natsu didn't really understand why, but something in Lucy had changed. She looked defeated, distraught, her entire body quivering with some kind of untold grief.

"There had to be a way!"

" _Not even Zeref could stop it."_ She pointed to Natsu. " _You are living proof of his sins. The one called Natsu Dragneel was destined to die with his brother, but he deigned to live. Now only one contradiction remains._ "

Lucy scrubbed tears from her face. "You're wrong. He's not a contradiction! Natsu deserves to... He's just a..."

"Lucy, that's enough," Natsu said.

Hitomi caressed Lucy's cheek and whispered something so low, so haunting, not even Natsu could hear it. Lucy visibly stiffened.

Happy's voice rang out suddenly. "What do you want? Why are you upsetting Lucy?"

" _I wanted to see for myself,"_ she said. " _The person who will put me to rest."_

Lucy smashed the lacrima with her fists, the orb shattering in bloody shards at her feet. The statue crumbled to dust and the woman vanished in a cloud of ash and bone, her spirit finally released.

"Lucy?!"

"I've heard enough," she said, walking away in silence.

* * *

Lucy had been floating in the pool for almost an hour. Natsu watched her from the lower platform, his knees pulled to his chest, his eyes scanning for signs of anything weird. She hadn't said a word since they'd left the cave, but Lucy had been so shaken. So scared.

He wanted to ask her why, but Natsu didn't feel he had a right to.

When she at last began to swim again, the sun had shifted, purple splotches darkening the evening sky. Natsu joined her in the pool. She couldn't go on like this. It wasn't healthy. She needed to eat something. Or rest. Or both. He had to say something. Anything.

Natsu swam towards her, then around her. Lucy didn't notice him at all. She tread water silently. A ghost. Tendrils of steam gripped her naked shoulders, her skin flushed, her eyes hazy and far away. He wanted to reach her, but he knew it was too late. Wherever she was, the thoughts had already imprisoned her, and there was nothing he could do about it now.

Except…

Natsu grabbed her shoulder. Lucy screamed, kicking backwards until she'd reached shallow water. Her head whipped towards him. Natsu's eyes widened, both at the shrill cry of her voice and at the naked figure stood before him. He told himself not to look—he'd been hit far too many times for that—but his eyes wavered, betraying him. He glimpsed her naked upper body just once, and Lucy didn't move. Didn't so much as flinch.

She hadn't noticed.

There was a strange sensation within him now. It wasn't quite human. A hunger, deeper than anything he'd felt before. Almost possessive in nature. A voice echoed in his mind, a distorted version of his own that said, _She's mine._

"Natsu!" she yelled. "You scared me!"

He swallowed the feeling down, heat gathering in his cheeks, frustration chewing at his thoughts. Just what was that?

"You were spacing out," he said.

Lucy huffed. He knew she was disappointed. They'd been promised a water spirit and she'd assumed it would be Aquarius. Instead all they'd found was that creepy statue, an ode to his brother, and a dark reminder of what she'd lost.

And there was something else, something about Hitomi's words that made Lucy so distant. It was as though she'd had all her dreams crumbled to dust and scattered in the wind, never to be seen or touched again.

He waded closer, rising from the water, his hands on her shoulders. "We'll find her," he promised.

"Natsu…" She placed her hands on his chest, her eyes alight with feeling once more. The way she gazed at him now made his heart ache.

Natsu's hands slid down her arms and he stepped closer. She looked like she wanted to say something, but the words didn't leave her mind. Her eyes shifted with every abandoned thought.

"Whatever's going on in your head, it's okay. There's nothing we can't do when we're together. Right?" he said.

"Natsu, if you had to make a difficult choice..."

Lucy buried her face against his chest. Natsu settled his hands on her waist, her soft skin warm and inviting.

She took his silence as an invitation to continue. "If you had to disappear to save somebody you loved, could you do it? Even knowing that it would hurt them?"

But he _had_ done it. He'd walked away from her when she'd needed him the most.

"Would you die for them?" she asked him.

Natsu's blood ran cold. "Lucy, we don't die for our friends. We don't give up on living no matter what." He cupped her face in one hand. "Is this because of Hitomi?"

She shook her head, but something in her eyes confirmed that it was. He wouldn't let her spiral like this. Lucy was at her best when she was smiling and full of hope. He wouldn't let the words of some demonic spirit cause her pain. He had to distract her.

"Isn't this the second time?" he asked, lowering his gaze to her chest. He'd seen her naked two days in a row now.

This time she slapped him clean across the jaw.

"Ow! Damn, Lucy. That stings."

"You deserved it!" she yelled, but the remorse was clear in her eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hit you so hard. It's just... You know, I..." She averted her gaze. "You didn't have to stare like that."

Natsu blinked. "I'm a man too, you know."

Lucy's entire face burst with colour, red and pink and glowing so bright it could rival the sun. "I know that! You jerk!"

"Lucy Heartfilia, you dirty, dirty girl," a voice called from above.

Natsu craned his neck to see a group of cloaked figures standing at the cliff's edge. All but one had turned their backs to the pool. The woman lowered her hood to reveal a flash of silver hair and a sneaky, suspicious grin.

They gasped as one. " _Sorano_?!"


	6. Naked Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: After chapter six, updates are going to be every Saturday until things settle down for me. As many of you know, I'm currently with family in England and, with recent travel restrictions, I'm not sure what that means for my flight this coming Sunday. I also need to redo a couple of chapters (11 onward) so I want to give myself enough time to work on them while maintaining a regular schedule.

Fate had a funny way of bringing people together. Lucy believed in her heart of hearts that certain reunions were destiny's plan, and that some coincidences were simply meant to happen. There was something about these chance encounters that made her feel hopeless, too. That some things just couldn't be changed.

Natsu was supposed to die with Zeref, but Lucy had done all she could to keep him alive. And now destiny had returned to punish her interference. Hitomi's words were proof that nothing could be done. She couldn't save him. If Natsu was the only person capable of stopping Zeref, then just _what_ could stop Natsu? Who? Were they destined to clash like this? Or would they die when the magic awakened? Maybe Hitomi was right to end things while she had control. A tree without roots couldn't bear poisonous fruit. Or any fruit at all. If Lucy was the heart of the problem, well…

"We heard all about your fight in Clover Town," Jellal said. "The council had us identify the two mages. They were part of a former merchant guild turned dark."

"I honestly had no idea you were still looking for the dark guilds," Lucy said.

"It's hard to settle when you know the things we do. Turning a blind eye now seems almost criminal, doesn't it?"

Lucy's stomach twisted. She remembered the cold touch of Hitomi's ghostly hands on her face.

_'I never said that he was the contradiction.'_

Lucy buried the thoughts deep down inside herself, tried to suppress the growing urge to meltdown and cry. She couldn't show weakness in front of Crime Sorciere, not when they worked so hard to stave off Zeref's influence, sacrificing their own peace, their own happiness, so that others could live in blessed ignorance. She had to be strong too.

As it turned out, Crime Sorciere were hunting down the remainder of Zeref's followers, trying to uproot the poison before it spread and the fruits borne of their peace began to rot. Lucy listened attentively to the stories exchanged between them, nodding along as she heard of their victories, and of the things they had learned.

All the while she couldn't help thinking: Where does it stop?

At which point did they decide to live their own lives? When was it okay for them to move on? Would they wipe out every dark guild in Fiore and hope it was enough? That nobody would ever rebuild what had been destroyed? People's minds were not so easily broken, especially those corrupted by evil.

Zeref's demise would not end his ideology. There were those who still studied his work in secret, still worshiped the demons and practiced forbidden magic. They were dangerous.

Rumours of demonic activity had lured Jellal and the others here, where they hoped to find more clues about the direction such a beast was headed. There had been no sightings.

Sitting beside Lucy, Jellal looked more at ease than he truly seemed, his hair disheveled but clean, his eyes focused, distant. His face glowed in the firelight, hard and thoughtful. He really was working hard to atone for the things he had done. She had no doubt that he missed stability, but she wondered if he remembered what it felt like to simply live.

Connected with Zeref's magic, Lucy felt more attuned to Jellal's feelings now than before. She knew what it felt like to be exposed to something so evil. Both were victims of that man's influence, although Ultear had played a huge role in Jellal's descent to madness, and Lucy had yet to fully sink into E.N.D.'s control. Nor did she know if she ever would. And perhaps that was the worst part.

"How is Sabertooth treating you?" Lucy asked Sorano.

"It's strange being part of a normal guild," Sorano confessed. "No offense, Jellal." The group laughed as one. "They understand that Crime Sorciere gave me a second chance, and that these idiots are my family too. I will always come when they ask for my help. Though, if any of you repeat that, I _will_ skin you alive."

"Maybe you had too much to drink earlier," Erik said, nudging Sorano's shoulder from across the fire.

"Sabertooth understand what it's like to walk the wrong path for a while," Meredy put in. She'd been quiet until now. "Many of us have been victims of coercion, of pain. We know what it's like to be on the brink of despair and come back from it. That's why we do what we do, even now."

Even after being pardoned, she meant. They had the freedom to join guilds, to be with family and friends, but they chose to sacrifice this and more in order to protect Fiore from the shadows. Their talents were virtually unrecognised, and nobody would ever really know about their ongoing heroism.

The group sat in a circle around a blazing fire, kindling high thanks to Natsu's flames. Sorano's face blurred behind the orange flames, but Lucy saw the faintest hint of a smile. They had all come so far.

Sitting between Sorano and Cobra—or, Erik, as he'd insisted they call him now—Natsu poked the flames with another stick, stirring them back to life. He shared a piece of meat with Happy, who'd been oddly quiet since they'd left the cave. Beside Sorano, Macbeth and the others spoke quietly among themselves. It wasn't as comfortable as an inn, but there was something safe and serene about sitting beneath the stars, warmed by the fire, bewitched by pleasant laughter.

"I'm just trying to be a good role model for my sister," Sorano said.

"Yukino looks up to you already," Lucy told her. And she meant it. Yukino only ever spoke fondly of Sorano, and would defend her until the end of time. That's just what family did.

"It must be lonely sometimes," Natsu said. Everyone turned to face him, surprised that the words had come out of his mouth, albeit stuffed between mouthfuls of food.

"We all have people we care about," Jellal said. "But that only makes us work harder to atone."

"We will create a safe place where our friends know only good dreams," Macbeth added.

Lucy's heart warmed. "I'm sure your loved ones appreciate it very much."

Jellal fidgeted beside her. "That is all we can hope for."

"I know for a fact there are people who are waiting for you all to return home," Lucy said, and then quieter, so only Jellal could hear, "Erza is doing well."

Jellal's smile betrayed an inkling to go home. To be with her. Lucy knew it must be hard, loving someone so much that you can't help but worry about them, even from so far away. And to love them so much that you could only blame yourself for their misfortune.

In truth, Jellal and Erza had the means to communicate from afar, they simply chose not to interfere in one and other's affairs. They had things to do now. Things to strive towards.

"Jellal pines loudly in his sleep," Meredy said, a playful tinge in the air. "We hear him talking _all_ the time."

Jellal visibly flushed. "That's not..."

"Oh, Erza," Sorano chimed in, making lewd sounds that set Lucy's heart racing.

"He even cries sometimes," Meredy added.

"I-isn't that a bit much?" Lucy said.

"Oh, what's wrong, Lucy? You having dirty thoughts too?" Sorano quipped, gesturing audaciously to the dragon slayer sitting beside her.

"Lucy is _always_ thinking dirty thoughts~" Happy said.

Oh sure, _now_ he decides to talk!

Natsu didn't answer, continuing to eat in silence. Lucy ought to be grateful, but it made her feel a little strange that he wasn't flustered, too. Did nothing like this ever faze him?

"I'm not thinking _anything_ dirty," Lucy objected.

"Oh, that's right, because you don't _have_ to think about it," Sorano said.

"That's right! We _did_ find you two naked!" Meredy giggled.

"T-that's not..." Lucy stood. "Natsu, tell them it's not true!"

Natsu glanced up from his food, his eyes a smolder of something mysterious and dark. After a moment he shrugged and said, "But it is true, isn't it?"

Lucy's entire body burned with embarrassment. "You jerk!"

Sorano stood now, eager to continue Lucy's torment. "I bet you two were planning to get all cozy tonight, huh? Did we ruin your plans?"

"Stop it!" Lucy yelled, covering her ears.

Sorano crossed the fire and tapped Lucy's arms, the two walking in circles as they bickered back and forth.

"I bet you're wishing we hadn't stumbled upon your little nesting ground, huh?" Sorano taunted.

"You're wrong! You're wrong! You're wrong!"

"Am I, Lucy? I bet you two were planning to make out under the stars with—"

Lucy whipped around, her cheeks throbbing. "We've never even kissed!"

The others had turned away now, clearly sensing Lucy's discomfort. At least _they_ were polite enough to acknowledge it.

Standing in the firelight, exposed to hundreds of stars in the night sky, Lucy felt suddenly naked. It was as though her heart had been denuded for all to see.

"Never kissed? Oh my. Did you two skip that step already? Or could you be waiting for him to propose?!" Sorano cackled.

"That's not what I said. I just haven't, you know, it just never came up."

"Oh, but if it _did_ come up? You'd be willing?"

"Sorano!"

"What? I'm just saying. That first kiss is so, so important after all~"

"I'm not waiting for Natsu—or anyone—to kiss me!"

"Oh, please! Look at you! The mere word has you shaking like a leaf in autumn, just waiting to drop! Kiss, kiss, kiss!"

"I can kiss whoever I want!" Lucy screamed.

Heads snapped up at the inflection in her voice.

" _Anyone_? Wow, how bold, Lucy. I'll believe _that_ when I see it."

Enraged, humiliated, perhaps slightly annoyed at the truths being laid before her, Lucy did something she never thought she would ever do.

She grabbed Sorano's face and kissed her.

The moment seemed to transcend time, and though it was just a peck, the rashness of what she'd done sank in a little too late, like a broken anchor that couldn't stop the ship from sailing.

"I told you! A kiss is just..." Lucy blinked. "Sorano? Are you okay?"

Sorano's face reddened until she was nothing but a blinking tomato. "You fiend!"

"You started it!"

"Whoa," Happy said.

The two girls turned to find everyone staring, mouths open, eyes wide. Natsu met Lucy's gaze and something hot and dark flickered between them.

"Lucy Heartfilia," Sorano snapped, "I can't believe you did that."

"It's kind of your fault," Meredy said.

"But I was only playing! She didn't have to get so worked up about it."

"I was not worked up," Lucy said, betrayed by the visible trembling of her clenched fists. "I was just..."

"That's enough," Natsu said.

He stood across the fire now, visibly irritated, and the flicker in his eyes made her knees buckle. He crossed the circle and snatched Lucy's wrist, dragging her into an enclosed section of the woods. She barely managed to wrest her hand free when he pushed her back against a tree, his hands trembling on either side of her face.

"N-Natsu?"

"Is something bothering you?" he asked.

"Yes..." She swallowed. "You, actually. Right now."

Natsu didn't move. Familiar warmth bristled in her face, and she knew it wasn't the embarrassment. E.N.D.'s powers flourished for a moment beneath her skin, beating like an extra heart resuscitated in the spark of his gaze.

He leaned in close, his breath hot. Lucy imagined herself melting into the tree and disappearing. He grabbed her chin in his hand and tilted her head. Lucy sank against the trunk, her hands pressed flat against the knobbly wood.

"Natsu..."

He wiped her lips with his thumb, as though erasing Sorano's kiss and all of the banter that came with it. And then he stepped back and walked away, rage forgotten, jealousy—if she could call it that—abandoned. Lucy collapsed to her knees with a nervous breath. Her heart throbbed with something else. Something cold.

Why did she feel so disappointed?

* * *

It had been a long day, and an even longer night. When Lucy returned to the fire nobody dared to speak of the kiss with Sorano, and Natsu remained his quiet, polite self, eating food and sharing laughs whenever there were jokes to be shared.

Lucy sat alone by the dwindling flame, listening to the others set up camp, unzipping sleeping bags and prepping their packs.

She traced her bottom lip with her thumb. Lucy had felt the book of E.N.D.'s power, but how much of that had really been Natsu, and how much of it the demon lying dormant? A mixture of emotions gathered. Confusion. Disappointment. Desire.

Maybe she'd wanted Natsu to kiss her. Maybe Sorano was right. Lucy had always been a romantic at heart, and Natsu had always catered to those desires, though he'd never seemed to realise it himself. In a tale of princes and dragons, he was both. But Lucy liked what they had now. She loved being his friend, loved the simplicity of it. But a part of her...

"Are you okay, Lucy?" It was Jellal.

He sat beside her.

"I'm fine. A little embarrassed. I don't usually let my emotions get the best of me like that."

"It's what makes us human."

She nodded. "It's complicated," she confessed. "Me and Natsu."

Jellal's smile was sympathetic. "I understand what you mean."

"Love is different for everyone. I had always imagined it as something pure and perfect. But after joining Fairy Tail, I got to meet so many different people. All of them imperfect. And I loved them anyway." Lucy stared at her upturned palms, wondering how to voice her thoughts. "If things were different, I can't help but wonder if I'd let myself feel this way. But it scares me. I don't want to hurt him."

And if things regressed like she suspected, then Lucy might have no choice. How could she fall in love with Natsu if she might leave him some day. She'd seen what loss did to people. She'd experienced it firsthand. How could she knowingly put Natsu in that kind of pain?

"You're a smart girl, Lucy. And if there's one thing Fairy Tail has taught me, it's that love is the most powerful cure there is. Whatever is going on with you two, depriving yourself of happiness isn't the way forward." He smiled, and she knew he must feel like a hypocrite. Perhaps he needed to hear these words himself. "Taking risks is a part of what we do. Sometimes you have to abandon thought if you're going to get to the feeling of things. You two have proved that you're willing to beat the odds to be together, so why are you letting destiny have its say now?"

He left her alone with those words, and Lucy chewed on them a while, grinding them around in her thoughts. He was right. But until Lucy knew for sure how she felt, there was no telling Natsu the truth. She couldn't go into this half-mannered. If she truly did love him, if she wanted to be like _that_ with him, Lucy needed to be sure.

Or maybe she already was, and it was the fear keeping her feelings at bay. Either way, she had a lot to think about, and feelings were easier to sort after a good night's rest.

She left the fire in search of Natsu and found him sprawled across a sleeping bag gazing at the stars. Happy was sound asleep beside him, exhausted from the day's antics.

"This one for me?" she asked, pointing to the empty bag.

Natsu grinned. "Are you having fun, Lucy?"

"Of course. It's always fun when we're together. And seeing everyone else is nice too."

"They're heading to the mountains near Crocus," Natsu said. "You wanna go with?"

"Well, we are headed in that direction anyway."

Natsu punched his open palm. "I'm all fired up. Let's take down some dark guilds, Lucy!"

"Guilds? Just how many are hiding in these mountains?"

He laughed. "Who cares! We'll beat them all!"

Oh, Natsu. He never changed.

And she hoped he never would.

"Hey, Natsu?"

"Yeah?"

She sat on the sleeping bag beside him, rubbing the cool tenderness from her hands. Spring nights were particularly cold in the woods. He noticed her shivering and unraveled his scarf, looping it gently around her neck. Lucy snuggled against the material, and let herself fall against his shoulder. Natsu was Natsu. Nothing would ever change that.

She refused to be scared of him.

"Do you ever think about the future?" she asked him.

"Sometimes. But I don't wanna miss what's happening right now."

She'd forgotten just how profound he could be.

"Aren't there things you want?"

"I have everything I want," he said. "Anything else is just a bonus."

Lucy's cheeks warmed. "By the way, have you been feeling okay?"

Natsu collapsed on the sleeping bag, bringing her with him. She nestled against his side, not ready to relinquish his body heat. It didn't matter who saw them at this point. Lucy didn't care.

"Never better," he said. "Why?"

"Just curious. You didn't seem so great on the train ride. I wondered if you were still feeling bad."

"Don't worry, Lucy. Everything's fine."

Not everything, she wanted to say. But that was a conversation for another day. She'd have to tell him eventually. Lucy wanted to understand more, first. She wanted to know what triggered it. If they could stop it. Maybe she could postpone the effects a little while longer.

"You'd tell me, right? If you started to feel weird."

"You'd be the first to know, Lucy. Now go to sleep."

"Like this? We're not even in the—"

He squeezed her tight against him, loosing warm magic through her skin. That settled it. She absolutely wasn't leaving his side.

"Nevermind," she acquiesced.

* * *

It took them three days to reach the mountain village. Lucy and Natsu were given spare cloaks, and Meredy stitched a miniature one just for Happy. The two seemed thrilled at the prospect of working undercover, detecting demon activity in the snow.

More than once she'd caught them playing ninja, and more than once that play had resulted in a snowball to the face.

Lucy caught the next one before it hit, batting it away with a quick sweep of her arm. The anger must have shown in her face, because no sooner had the snow hit the ground were they running away.

"Don't run away from me!" she screamed.

"Some things never change," Meredy laughed.

Lucy sighed. "It's so cold here. It's hard to believe it's spring."

"I've always thought mountains exist outside the realm of time," Meredy agreed.

Mentions of time brought a moment of quiet between them. She knew Meredy missed Ultear. Her sacrifice had saved them all. It seemed unfair she had to live her life alone. What remained of it, anyway.

"I couldn't help but overhear your conversation with Jellal," Meredy said.

Lucy's pace slowed, her boots sinking into the snow. She reminded herself to keep moving. The mountain path narrowed as they reached the village, and the snow became thicker, harder. It was difficult to walk.

"Feelings are complicated. It's easier to write them down than to say them." Lucy snuggled Natsu's scarf close to her face. "Especially between old friends."

"Do you want to know?" Meredy asked.

Lucy's brows tented.

"I can show you the truth," Meredy explained. "A sensory link would share your feelings entirely."

"I couldn't do that to him. It's..."

"It only works when the two share a special bond. Aren't you curious to know what yours is?"

"I..." She _was_ curious. But Lucy didn't want to betray Natsu's trust. "I'll find out for myself. I have to do this on my own."

Meredy grinned. "You're a good person. I almost envy that."

"You're a good person, Meredy. That's why you offered to help me, isn't it?"

They both smiled at that.

"Hey, Lucy!" Natsu called. "Over here! I smell something!"

When the group finally left the main path, they saw a swath of empty houses, windows shuttered and shattered, doors swinging on broken hinges. Gales of wind sang a mourning lament as they visited the abandoned homes. Just one remained intact, curls of smoke rising from a stone chimney. Somebody still lived here.

"What's wrong, Natsu?" Lucy asked, panting with the exertion of climbing.

"Over there! Look!"

They crossed the snowy village until they'd reached an old cemetery, the stones weathered like broken teeth, the ground recently shoveled. A cloaked figure tended one of the graves. Billows of wind knocked free the woman's hood.

Standing in the middle of the snow, hunched with old age but still as frighteningly beautiful as the day they'd met, was Ultear Milkovich.

Meredy gasped. "Is that really..."

_Fate had a funny way of bringing people together._

"Destiny," Lucy breathed.


	7. Sins and Sacrifice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm currently not able to work due to the COVID-19 restrictions, so I may be updating more often than I previously thought. I'll plan for next Saturday but have a more updated schedule when I'm (hopefully) back in the USA and situated.
> 
> This chapter is a little different in that it switches perspectives temporarily in the middle! It's a very Natsu-focused chapter, but with a piece of Lucy's fight sprinkled in the middle due to them being separated. I chose to write it this way in order to avoid releasing two chapters that were pretty much the same plot, just different character voices!

Tiny snowflakes kissed Natsu's skin, suspending him in a moment of ice-cold forever. He surveyed the rows of graves, headstones cracked and dirty, offerings sparse but fresh. Ultear had been tending these graves for some time.

Footsteps crunched behind him, growing louder as the remainder of Crime Sorciere scaled the sloping snowbank. Ultear noticed. She turned wistful eyes on the group, a reflection of surprise and sadness forming wrinkles in her aged brow. She dropped the basket in her hands and fled.

"Ultear..." Meredy took a hesitant step forward. "That was Ultear!"

"But why did she run away?" Lucy asked.

Lucy's voice restarted time. Natsu followed Ultear's footprints, clambering over the graveyard fence and cutting through the village, making a beeline for the smoking chimney. Happy zipped along behind him.

He heard the door swinging shut before he spotted the entryway. Ultear's front yard was freshly shoveled, a polished cobblestone path leading to the front door. Frost-tipped violas bloomed on each side of the garden, adding a splash of colour to the alabaster streets. She'd lived a peaceful life here. It almost made him regret chasing her down.

He rapped on the door. "Ultear! Open up!"

"Your friends are all here," Happy said.

"Meredy is waiting for you. Don't you want to see her?"

"Please stop."

Meredy stood behind him. Lucy and the others gave a wide berth, offering the kind of space only friends could. They waited patiently.

Natsu deflated. "Don't you want to see her?"

"Of course I want to see her," Meredy said, wiping tears from her face. "I want to see her more than anything. But Ultear has her reasons. We shouldn't bother her like this. Besides, we have things to do, don't we?"

"She's right," Jellal said.

"Knowing she's okay is enough for me," Meredy said. "Thank you, Natsu. For giving me this moment. Even if it's hard to walk away, I won't regret my decision. I have to carry on for Ultear. We have to make the world safer."

The door creaked; everyone turned at the sound.

"You've grown so much, Meredy," Ultear said.

Chains clicked free. Ultear stood in the doorway, cloaked in a thick black shawl. Immense power radiated from her elderly form. Timeless eyes studied the group, surveying each of them with differing expressions. Her face softened when she noticed Meredy's shivering.

"Ultear..." Meredy sobbed.

"Foolish girl. Will you dawdle and leave an old woman standing in the cold?"

Meredy rushed into Ultear's embrace. The warmth of their reunion could have melted the entire village.

Lucy took his hand, tears streaming down her cheeks. "You did good, Natsu."

He smiled, but something distant haunted him. The air shivered in foreboding. A warning. A chill beyond even the snow, so deep and dark it stopped his beating heart dead.

Natsu's mind wandered back to all those graves. He scanned the surrounding houses, walls crumbling, doors hanging free, unglazed windows sporting shards of broken glass. He caught a hidden fragrance beneath the snow, a passing tinge of unpleasant copper and skin. Blood.

"Isn't love marvelous?" Richard said.

Natsu squeezed Lucy's hand. "Yeah. It is."

* * *

Though quaint in size, Ultear's home was as welcoming as its host, with little nooks of books and decorations lighting up the pale walls. The group spread happily through the house. While everyone busied themselves being helpful, Natsu sat in the living room, sprawled out in an old, plush recliner. Happy dropped onto the arm beside him, his fur covered in powders and what smelled like sugar.

"Does it hurt somewhere?" Happy asked him.

Natsu shook his head. "No. I'm just tired."

No, not tired. The word almost fit, like two puzzle pieces never meant to match, but push hard enough and a new image could be forced. What Natsu felt couldn't be put into words. It was fatigue and trepidation and cold needles in his skin.

He just couldn't stop thinking about those damned graves. What was he thinking? Hunting demons? Zeref's followers? Most children spent their lives hiding from monster under the bed, not chasing them down into the darkness under the floorboards.

Everything felt so louche. Ultear's presence. The underlying scent of blood. It seemed too contrived to be a coincidence. He couldn't place the feeling, the suspense. He knew only one thing for certain: Natsu wanted to leave.

"The girls are baking," Happy told him.

The warm scent of dough eased Natsu's dread. He succumbed to his building somnolence, his mind foggy. Sleeping on the ground hadn't been the most comfortable. He'd woken early that morning, his arm tingling under Lucy's weight. Despite his grogginess, Natsu couldn't remember sleeping. He'd had no dreams at all.

Laughter echoed from the adjoining kitchen.

Ultear's living room was surprisingly spacious, decorated with weird statues and odd knickknacks. Shelves of books filled every wall, with a collection of small cushions set on the bay window for reading. Despite her obvious lack of company, there were three chairs in the room, all facing the fireplace. One love seat and two recliners.

He couldn't imagine how lonely it felt.

Dizziness crept into the edges of his mind, blurring his vision. Natsu propped his head in a palm and tried to refocus.

Lucy appeared in the doorway. "I should've known I'd find you here."

Crime Sorciere's garb looked strangely good on her. She wore the cloak loose around her shoulders. Within the open front, Natsu spotted a white apron, odd utensils sticking out of the pocket. She looked very much like a wife. The kind of wife that would kick his ass for lazing around and in the next breath express her fondness. A smudge of melted chocolate painted the corner of her mouth. Heat spread to his neck, climbing slowly into his face.

"Natsu isn't feeling well, Lucy," Happy said.

She was beside him in an instant. Lucy pressed one hand to his forehead, the other propped on the chair arm for support. "You feel hot, Natsu."

"I'm a dragon."

Aquarius's key dangled from Lucy's neck, swinging like a pendulum between them. His hand reached for the chain, fingers brushing the delicate gold. He twirled the broken key around his finger.

"This isn't funny," she said. "You're seriously burning up."

Natsu grabbed Lucy's arm. "I'm fine."

Lucy held his gaze defiantly. Her brown eyes swirled with an admixture of worry and relief, like she desperately wanted to believe him, but the part of her yearning to comfort him prevailed.

He grabbed Aquarius's key between his fingers. Lucy grabbed his hand and squeezed.

"I have to get back to the kitchen," she said. "But, Natsu..."

"I know," he said.

"Keep an eye on him, okay?" Lucy told Happy.

He saluted a quick response.

Natsu slouched in the recliner. "I'm gonna close my eyes," he said. "Just for a second."

A second too many.

Natsu woke in familiar darkness, sealed away in that cold, dismal village of ghosts and forgotten memories. A forest of endless black surrounded him, monsters and demons clawing at his fragile mind. Natsu's brain was a globe full of bleak memories. There'd be no turning back once it shattered and the feelings poured out in droves of death and delusions.

Varying pitches of the same voice echoed in the darkness, singing a lament from afar. Natsu coudn't place the words.

He scrubbed his face, urging himself awake, wishing he could leave this place and go back to normal dreams—like fishing with Happy, beating Erza in a fight, or playing tricks on Lucy. Anything was better than this.

 _Not anything_ , a voice said. It was his own.

Visions of Igneel's death flashed violently across his mind's eye. Natsu blinked furiously, willing them away. Igneel's death passed to Future Lucy's, and from there he saw his own Lucy senseless on the ground, her eyes smeared in blood, Dimaria's scent thick and rotted on her skin.

He stared at his quivering hands.

A loop of red thread pulled tight on his ring finger. Natsu scratched it, but the thread wouldn't move.

The distant song continued.

Natsu pulled the red thread on his finger. It resisted before slackening again, as though the other end were tied to something in motion. He pulled tighter, but the thread wouldn't break. He had no choice but to follow it.

The length of the thread disappeared in the darkness, barely visible to Natsu's sensitive eyes, save where a single shaft of light broke through the empty sky far above.

Lucy sat alone in that light, her blonde hair trailing in waves down her back, so long it spread like sunbeams across the floor.

Natsu summoned the strength he needed to stand. He wobbled towards her, entranced by the sweet humming of her voice. He followed the thread until he stood at her back. Invisible. Ignored.

"Poor little dragon lost his way," she sang, swinging her legs through the darkness, her hands resting on a ledge he couldn't see.

Natsu pulled the thread and her hand lifted, revealing a loop on her wrist. She moved almost like a puppet, arm moving where he willed it, but Lucy never seemed to notice. Just a body with no soul.

"Don't cry, little dragon. I will never be gone. Your heart is fragile but your dreams are strong. So dream of me, little dragon, and I will be there. Don't cry little dragon, your demons feast on despair."

"Lucy…"

She turned to face him at last. Natsu froze. Blood dripped from her eyes, clumped in her hair. She couldn't see him.

"My heart hurts, little dragon."

Natsu stepped back. What he saw made him retch. His stomach heaved, but only acidic fear came out. The red thread was woven into Lucy's chest, the skin barely held together. Blood trickled down her naked stomach.

"Lucy!"

"You did this to me," she said, picking apart the seam.

Inside her chest, Lucy's heart was black and still. He tried to grab her and failed, his body hurtling over the ledge into the cold darkness.

Natsu fell into the abyss.

Zeref caught him at the bottom, his brother's face a tangle of weird veins and demonic scales. Natsu shoved him away.

"Bastard!" he screamed. "What did you do to Lucy?"

"Me?" Zeref quirked a brow.

"Yes, you! This has to be your doing!"

"You know, I thought I made _that_ book impervious to any interference. But she was able to override it. And at what cost? My dreams still live on, even though I have perished. All she did was prolong the pain."

Natsu called on his flames, bursts of light filling the void. The heat scorched his vulnerable flesh, boiling, burning, the stench of it so volatile he almost retched.

"You would hurt yourself to save her?" Zeref asked. He smiled. "I know too the feeling of love. A contradiction in itself, love is the selfish need to be near someone, and the selfless need to protect them from your flaws."

"Shut up! You don't know real love!"

Natsu would never hurt Lucy the way Zeref had hurt Mavis. He could never do something so awful. Not to her.

"But I loved you, Natsu. I loved you enough to defy the laws of death. You sensed it, didn't you? When we fought, you felt my love."

Natsu _had_ felt it. He'd touched the ice-cold depths of his brother's love and surfaced long enough to take a burning hot breath of a missed reality. They could've been good friends. They could have been more. But Zeref chose this path. Destiny had put them at opposite sides of the war.

"The life I long for, a world where magic can reach its full potential, it exists, Natsu. Paradise. That dream lives on."

"I'll stop it. I'll always stop you, brother," Natsu said.

Zeref illuminated a section of the abyss, a single pool of light revealing Lucy's unconscious body, her heartbeat a violent echo in Natsu's ears.

"Even if it means killing her?"

Natsu's flames licked up his arms, spiraling high like great thorns on his shoulders.

"You think I'm the source of your nightmares," Zeref said. "You couldn't be more wrong. I come here because the little brother I loved, the brother who laughed with me, who smiled whenever he held me close, mourns me. You're afraid of my legacy. Of the things I left behind. You know what you are, and you know I was the only one who could stop you."

"Everything was fine before you started coming here," Natsu said.

But try as he might, Natsu couldn't resist the old memories. Faded visions of his parents sitting across the table, his mother's smile gentle, her hands warm as she squeezed his cheeks. A young Zeref laughed loudly beside him. A vision of innocence. Of brilliance.

Back in the realm of terrors, Lucy pushed herself upright, red threads rippling across the abyss from each finger. She turned to face him, no longer bloody, her hair glittering in the soft halo of light all around her. Confusion graced her warm brown eyes.

"Where am I?" she asked.

"What did you do to Lucy?" Natsu snapped.

Zeref smiled. "I didn't do anything to her. She chose this path when she fought to save you. A piece of her lives within you, so small you never noticed it. This is the fragment of power she gave you."

Natsu could only stare. Lucy plucked at the red threads, twisting them this way and that, testing their strength. Natsu's hand moved with each pull.

"How ironic that her name embodies all that she gives you. Light. She is nothing but a flower withering in the shadows you cast. While you rise towards the sun her roots take no water, her petals see no light. How much will you take from her before you're satisfied? I am not your enemy..."

Zeref's face mirrored Natsu's own. For just a moment he saw the demonic creature inside himself. Saw the form of a monster come to destroy everything he knew and loved. Lucy covered her mouth, shock and repulsion effacing her polished smile.

"...You are."

He punched Zeref square in the face. His brother shattered like grains of black sand, crumbling into a mound of nothingness. Lucy gasped.

Natsu's eyes opened.

"Ow!"

Lucy held her bloody nose, brows knitted with obvious pain.

"Lucy!" Natsu shot out of his seat and brushed her hand away, inspecting her wound. He erased the blood with his thumb.

"It's okay. It's okay," she insisted, pushing his hand away. "It just stings."

"I can't believe you just punched her in the face," Sorano said, and despite the undertones of mockery, she sounded genuinely concerned.

"I'm sorry, Lucy."

"Natsu, it's okay. You were having a bad dream."

"It sure is lively with you all here," Ultear said from the doorway. "Come with me, Lucy. Let me look at your nose."

Natsu grimaced, torn between apologising some more and demanding he take care of her. This had to stop. Soon. Before he hurt somebody else. This time he'd punched her in the face, what if next time he...

 _Even if it means killing her_?

"You didn't mean it," Meredy said.

"That was one hell of a punch though," Erik said. He sat on the ground at Meredy's feet, her hands hard at work stitching a tear in his hood.

"I'm going to apologise," he insisted.

"Natsu." Jellal's voice rang with authority. "The only way to put an end to nightmares is to talk about them. Moving on takes courage."

Words turned to bile. "Are you really going to lecture _me_ about moving on?" Natsu snapped.

Jellal didn't retort.

"He's just trying to help you," Meredy scolded.

With a mumbled apology, Natsu followed Lucy's scent into a narrow hallway. He stopped outside a firmly closed door.

"Yes, I know of the Wise Mages," Ultear was saying. "The Seeress Hitomi, Yasu the Observer, and Takuya the Truthsayer."

Natsu reached for the knob.

"I met one," Lucy said. "Hitomi."

"They were renowned as gods once, though the books I'm privy to describe them as beasts. They pushed the boundaries of magic too far. People revered their powers, said they could do anything. Hitomi, with her foresight, Yasu, with his omniscience, and Takuya, with his detection of truths. They experimented with magic beyond our understanding and it cost them their lives."

Natsu's knuckles burned white against the handle. He forgot to breathe.

"Their deaths were so gruesome scant few texts recall them in detail," Ultear said, her voice heavy with wisdom and what seemed like a hint of remorse. “They each sacrificed their abilities, destroyed by the powers they’d once loved."

"Hitomi had no eyes when we met."

"See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil," Ultear recited. "Do not betray the laws of magic. Zeref pushed those boundaries and look what happened to him."

"That's why I needed to talk to you," Lucy said.

"It's still within him, isn't it? I could sense it while he slept; the demon seed has taken root again."

"What can I do?" Lucy asked.

Natsu leaned his forehead against the door, his thoughts choking on the words and suffocating until nothing but emptiness filled his mind. Numb and cold.

"I cannot say for sure. The power was most prominent when he slept, but it became more sinister when he saw you hurt."

"Me?"

"Your connection runs deeper than magic. There's something else festering there. Should you become hurt, I fear Natsu might succumb to something far worse than demonic power. He could lose his mind completely."

No...

Vibrations rocked the house. Slow and soft, then heavy, until something smashed through the ceiling, destroying the wall between Natsu and Lucy completely. He choked on the dust and debris. Natsu squinted, scanning the rubble for signs of Lucy and Ultear.

"It's here!" Jellal yelled. "The demon!"

Natsu spotted Lucy in the centre of the room. She'd sheltered Ultear from the collapsed ceiling, and the two were now moving out harm's way.

"Outside! Now!" Meredy called.

The group walked out of the warmth into a blizzard, snow billowing in sharp gusts. Grotesquely human, the demon towered over the village houses, clawed fists beating down on the snow.

"This cursed thing has been killing villagers for months," Ultear said. "It just keeps getting bigger. The council sent me here with the hopes I could learn its patterns, but after I showed up it stopped coming."

Natsu touched Ultear's back. "Why would they send you here? It's dangerous."

"Because it's a demon I met long ago, before meeting all of you."

"So you know how to stop it?" Lucy asked.

"No," Ultear said, visibly dismayed. "But it hates loud noise."

"Then we just gotta turn up the volume!" Natsu yelled, summoning his flames. "Let's go, Lucy! Happy!"

"Aye!" Happy snatched Natsu from the ground.

"Ultear, stay here," Lucy said, and in moments she'd transformed into her Sagittarius form.

A volley of arrows pierced the demon from above, sending it into a mild hysteria. Natsu used the distraction to fly in close, Happy dropping him on the beast's great shoulders. He struck the demon in its scaly neck, but the skin was too strong. Too tough. Natsu's fist resounded with a mighty crack, flung backwards with unexpected force. He toppled and fell.

Crime Sorciere launched a full assault, Jellal's meteors striking alongside Lucy's arrows, the force booming through the village. Ultear was right. The explosive sounds sent the demon into a wild frenzy, clutching its pointed ears and screaming.

"It's working!" Natsu said. "Make as much noise as you can!"

And it did work. Too well. The booming noise tore the beast in two. Literally. Both creatures screeched a haunting battle cry. Natsu dodged blows from the demon's clone, catching Happy mid-jump, barely rolling to safety in the snow. The original turned its attention on Lucy. She rushed to Ultear's defense and was quickly obscured from view. Snow and ice erupted in waves between them.

"Lucy!" Happy cried.

"This is crazy," Meredy said behind him.

Natsu took a quick survey of his surroundings. All but Sorano remained on his side of the field, which meant his numbers vastly outweighed Lucy's. They had to end this. Quickly.

Distracted by his concern for Lucy, Natsu hardly noticed the demon's next attack. Meredy pulled him to safety, barely avoiding the beast's newly conjured morning star. Shadows oozed from the spiked head, the chain onyx black.

"Don't get distracted," Meredy scolded. "She's capable of fighting by herself."

"I know..."

Meredy rolled her eyes. "I really didn't want to do this."

"Do what?"

She grabbed his arm and imbued it with fragments of light, sparks jumping in loops around his forearm.

"A sensory link", Meredy said. "If anything happens to Lucy, you'll know. So concentrate on this fight. The sooner we win, the sooner you can get back to her."

"Thanks, Meredy. I guess Lucy's fired up, 'cause I'm burning hot right now!"

Utilizing the force of her magic, Meredy delivered blades into the beast's belly, while Jellal and the others took their assault to its back.

Natsu sensed Lucy's determination through their link, felt the light and hope of her magic as she changed in and out of forms. Her voice carried on the wind as she called to the spirits she loved.

"Natsu! I found its weak spot!" Jellal yelled. "There's a scar where it split! On the neck!"

Finally! An opening!

"Happy! Get closer!"

No good. The demon swatted them at every turn, swinging its giant arms and scratching with giant claws. It sent them hurtling across the village. Natsu barely recovered long enough to stick the landing.

"Throw me!" Natsu called.

Jellal was already one step ahead. He created a new meteor, small but quick, and Natsu leapt onto the flaming orb before Sawyer, utilising his immense speed, launched it into the air. Natsu hurtled towards the demon like a flaming bullet. It destroyed the meteor with one swoop, but this time Natsu was ready. He flipped over the beast's arm, scaled its hulking shoulders, and drove a flaming punch into the gaping hole on its neck. The scales burst to dust and the creature let out a bellowing scream, so loud it brought everyone to a screeching halt.

Natsu screamed as the noise filled him completely, black and white and bloody. So bloody. He covered his ears and plummeted through the sky. Richard caught him in liquefied ground, lowering the earth gently.

The link on Natsu's arm flared brightly, so blinding he couldn't stand to look at it. Unspeakable pain stuck like pins in his blood, pricking and stabbing, poking gaping holes in his veins and muscle. She was hurt.

"Lucy!"

Lucy's fear held him in frigid fists. Shivers danced along Natsu's spine and his arms prickled with gooseflesh. She was hurt. Lucy needed him. He scanned the area but found nothing. No signs of Lucy, Ultear, or the second demon.

Sorano manifested within the blizzard, her face bloody, her clothes torn to reveal scars and fresh bruising.

"Something's wrong with Lucy!" she screamed.

Natsu froze. The sensory link surged with new feelings. He felt her pain blow for blow, felt the heat of blood gushing down his cheeks. Natsu staggered backwards.

Something possessive took hold. He sensed it hidden within the threads of Lucy's pain, woven tight with a familiar darkness: Love. But not Lucy's gentle affection. This was dangerous. Angry. These feelings dripped like oil on water, so thick he knew they didn't belong. Someone had connected with their link.

Rage pulsed through him, beating hard until Natsu couldn't discern one sound from the next. Black seeds burst in his heart, darkness spreading like veins through his chest, his body, until the flames licked up every inch of skin.

_Kill..._

Hatred burned hotter than his flames.

_Zeref._

* * *

E.N.D.'s hold came for just a moment, so strong she barely held onto the frays of magical power slipping through her cold fingers. Lucy dithered. She sensed Natsu's resolve, felt his growing power as it bled from her own body. Their link opened like a vacuum beneath her, draining her of power. Lucy suffocated in E.N.D.'s hot grasp.

Lucy combined Sagittarius's arrows with the blazing heat of Loke's regulus, their power fading rapidly overtime. The points hit their mark, scales and blood and teeth splattering to the snowy ground, melted with the heat of Loke's magic.

The presence of her spirits vanished.

Natsu's rage filled her completely. The demon seed burst to life within Lucy's body, inky black and dripping hot like melted wax. Tender marks throbbed in her face, smothering her eyes, her lips, constricting her throat. She grabbed her face and screamed until her voice failed her, pain and anguish frothing under her skin, running in supple rivulets beneath her breast. Lucy's control drifted like flotsam. Useless.

 _'The thread can't be broken,'_ Zeref whispered.

The demon crashed into the ground. Lucy knew by the baleful noise that it was over. Relief coupled with her pain. She succumbed to her wounds instantly, blood spilling from her ears, pouring from her nose and eyes. Sound and sight blurred. She tasted only blood.

"Lucy!" Ultear cried.

The transformation wore off, leaving Lucy in nothing but torn garments and the fragile remains of her cloak.

Ultear pulled Lucy's cloak shut against her chest. "How long has this been going on?"

"A while."

"You need more time."

What difference would it make? More time or less, Lucy couldn't save him. She didn't know how.

Natsu's awakened power bled into her body, oozing chaos. She felt it grip her heart, squeezing tighter.

"It's my fault," she said. "If only I was stronger. I could have... I should have..."

"Be still, Lucy. Be still."

Lucy welcomed Ultear's warm hand. "I'm sorry about your home."

"Don't be. I have no need of it now."

"What do you mean?"

Lucy couldn't explain it, but the warmth from Ultear's hand burned cold, and the influx of power within turned syrupy sweet, sticky. Lucy's head rolled to the side, her eyes fluttering closed, and the pain gradually subsided.

"Save him, Lucy," Ultear whispered. "And be happy."

She wiped the blood from Lucy's eyes, and for just a moment, in the haze of hopeful sunlight, Lucy thought she saw Ultear's youthful face smiling down on her.

* * *

Natsu's feet jerked to a stop. Happy slammed into his back. The sensory link dissolved, taking with it the hot feelings of rage, the urge to kill and run rampant. The blizzard whipped clouds of snow in all directions, making it difficult to see beyond the destruction of the village and the white whorl of neverending winter.

Meredy pushed through the blizzard beside him, and together they rushed to Lucy's aid.

Too late.

They found Lucy and Ultear collapsed against the demon's true form, its body wounded beyond recognition. Lucy hadn't gone down without a fight. But something was off. No longer elderly, Ultear looked exactly as Natsu remembered her, long hair flowing black and beautiful across her chest, her shawl draped shorter around toned, muscular arms. Natsu inhaled a sharp breath, closed his eyes and listened. He heard only one heartbeat.

Ultear was dead.

Knots formed in his stomach, too large to digest, too heavy to regurgitate. He choked on his own fear. Natsu collapsed at Lucy's feet. Covered in blood and viscera, she was unrecognisable, her eyes shut to the world.

"Lucy..." Happy sobbed.

Natsu wiped away the blood, exposing disturbing marks under her skin. Crimson red and beating with a life of their own, the marks pulsed in syncopated beats, receding slowly like snakes releasing their prey.

He cupped her face in his hands. "Lucy... What have you done?"

_'I told you. The life I long for, a world where magic can reach its full potential, it exists, Natsu. Paradise. That dream lives on.'_

With trembling fingers, Natsu unraveled the scarf from Lucy's neck. The marks spread deep into her bodysuit. He grabbed the zipper and clumsily opened her garments.

Happy gagged.

Coiled within the demonic marks, Lucy's heart beat through translucent skin, black and broken, just like in his dream. Natsu covered his mouth, tears streaking his face, the horrors welling up inside him. He didn't scream. Didn't move. He just stared into the void that was Lucy's exposed heart.

"Lucy!" he pleaded, placing his hand over her chest. "Lucy, wake up!"

"Please, Lucy!" Happy wept.

"Lucy, you have to wake up now!"

A faint spark of warmth ebbed through his veins. Foreign, yet familiar. These feelings weren't his own, and yet they were, a tangle so deep they brought him hope from the desolate abyss in his soul. Could remnants of the sensory link remain intact? The feeling came to him at once. Love. So much love that it marred his damaged pieces in its attempt to make him whole. Natsu's tears spilled out uncontrollably. He grabbed Lucy's shoulders, shaking desperately.

"You can't die," he begged. "I need you, Lucy."

"This can't be happening," Sorano whispered.

Meredy crashed to her knees beside them, joined by the rest of her guild. Jellal embraced her quickly, shielding her from the harsh reality of Ultear's death. Meredy touched the lifeless body and shrieked.

"ULTEAR!"


	8. Awakened Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back in the USA and on a mandated 2 week home-quarantine, so that means more time for writing. It's more likely that I'll post each chapter as I complete it, meaning there won't be an official schedule for a while. I'm aiming for at least one chapter a week, but it'll likely be more. Stay safe and wash those hands! :)

Everyone grieved in different ways.

Within Lucy's keening bubble, grief clung with cold shivers and hot regrets, made of nightmares and false hopes. Meredy's face haunted her long after they'd parted ways, their goodbye so empty, so strained. Losing a mother was hard. Losing her twice was unthinkable heartache.

Bidding farewell to Crime Sorciere, the trio had followed roads leading to Crocus, stopping part-way at a shoddy looking inn. Lucy hadn't slept at all. There was no peaceful darkness. No conjuring of dreams. Only memories—flickers of Ultear's marble face and Meredy's heart-wrenching screams. Lucy had woken to Natsu's desperate tears, confused, contrite. He'd held her for an eternity, surrounding her with a warmth that Ultear would never feel again.

Destiny sucked.

Morning sunlight peeped through the high-raised windows, painting the bathroom tiles a cooling white and yellow. Light stirred the shadows, pushing them out of corners, along the walls and ceiling like bad dreams shifting in the back of Lucy's memories.

She sank lower into the old tub, hot water lapping against her chest. It wasn't luxurious by any means, but it was private, and she definitely needed the privacy right now. She twirled Aquarius's key around one finger.

Was it all worth it? Was she doing the right thing? Could she leave Zeref's followers to Crime Sorciere, knowing what she did? Feeling what she did? What if more people died?

_'You have your own demons to attend to,'_ Jellal had said. _'Leave the rest to us.'_

Lucy cupped a handful of bubbles and blew them across the small room. She felt so dirty. She'd wronged Meredy, hurt Crime Sorciere. It was all her fault. Storm clouds gathered in Lucy's heart, bringing nothing but rain and darkness. The tears didn't come. She had nothing left to give. Every drop of remorse had run dry, and every fear, every doubt, every fragment of misery, had turned to dust.

They'd buried Ultear in the cemetery she'd been protecting. Meredy had claimed whatever belongings she could carry. Most of the house had been destroyed in the fight, leaving very few items intact. Lucy had taken with her the only thing that mattered: Ultear's final words.

She stared at the mound of clothes strewn across the floor. Virgo had fixed Lucy's outfit, assuring her that the quality was even better than before. Lucy was used to it at this point. It wasn't a normal day unless she lost her damn clothes.

The bathroom door sprang open.

"Move over, Lucy!"

Natsu dove into the opposite side of the tub. Lucy drew her knees to her chest and let out a hot breath. Embarrassment and rage coiled for just a second, replaced by a sad comfort. Acceptance. He wouldn't leave her alone anyway.

"I'm almost done, you know," she said.

Natsu shrugged. "I was bored without you."

He spread his legs on either side of her, his knees bent, his feet planted on her end of the tub. Lucy folded her arms over her knees to support her chin. She gazed long and hard at the naked man sitting opposite her. Bubbles clouded his lower waist, frothing against his bare chest. He didn't blink. Unaffected by her scrutiny, Natsu leaned back against the tub, draping his arms over the sides Knots of muscle rippled with scars and flushed skin. Lucy caught herself admiring his broad chest.

"We'll reach Crocus soon," he said.

Between what happened during the Grand Magic Games and the guild's disbandment, Lucy had come to loathe Fiore's beloved capital. But feelings couldn't stand in the way of her reunion with Aquarius. If anyone had news on celestial keys, it would be the denizens of Crocus. And maybe visiting old wounds would help to heal them.

The goal posts had changed, but neither wanted to admit it. This wasn't about Aquarius anymore. Not really. Ultear's death had paved a new road, long and winding and dangerous. Lucy had no choice but to follow it.

_'Save him, Lucy. And be happy.'_

"Are you happy, Natsu?"

The question caught him off guard. He stared at her a long while, processing her words, clearly trying to devise some magnificent answer that would calm her fears. She didn't need comfort. She needed honesty.

"I'm on a journey with my best friends," Natsu said. "Why wouldn't I be happy?"

Lucy pursed her lips. "You still haven't asked me anything."

She saw in his eyes that he knew what she meant. He never brought up the marks. He didn't ask about E.N.D.'s power or Lucy's part in it. He simply let her exist and grieve and worry. Wasn't he angry with her? Didn't he want answers?

She wondered at first whether Ultear's spell had rewound his memories, but the truth was there, glistening wet in his tired eyes. He remembered everything.

"I figured you'd tell me when you were ready," he said.

Lucy tipped her head, skeins of wet hair tumbling over one arm. Spread thin among layers of grief were delicate veneers of built up affection. In the heat of battle, Lucy's jumbled feelings were shaken free, scattering a clear message in pieces of heartbreak and fear. Natsu meant more to Lucy than anyone and anything. She would bleed and die for him without a second thought.

She wanted to save him.

Ultear's magic rewound the demon seed, offering Natsu his humanity, giving Lucy a second chance. But the damage was there, putting keys to locks and gradually setting her emotions free. These awakened feelings burned hot and cold. She couldn't discern Natsu's feelings from her own. Every dark thought pushed her closer to his demons, while the gentleness, the love and the laughter, brought her closer to him.

"After what happened with Ultear..." Lucy paused, searching for the right words. "Is it selfish to want a little normalcy?"

Natsu scooted closer. He placed a comforting hand on Lucy's head, trailing fingers into her damp hair. "Have we ever been normal?" he asked.

Lucy raised her head. Natsu placed his hands on her knees, leaning closer, his gaze a doorway to the soul lurking under all that muscle and fire. How much of him would remain if Lucy failed? How much of that precious smile would fade away? Tears dripped onto her cheeks.

Natsu brushed her cheek with the backs of his fingers. "It's not your fault."

"I can't help but think..." Lucy swallowed her sobs. "If, if we hadn't been there. If we hadn't gone to the mountain."

"Then you'd be dead," he said pointedly.

"I'm sorry. I should've told you."

"We're a team, Lucy."

"I thought we had more time."

"Ultear gave us more time," Natsu said. "Let's not waste it by crying. Okay?"

Lucy nodded, her lips trembling, the sobs and pain warring to escape. She inhaled a sharp breath through her nose and smiled. She hadn't noticed how close his face was.

Happy threw open the bathroom door. "How could you!"

Lucy shrieked.

"Oh, hey, you wanna bathe too?" Natsu said.

"You're always trying to play without me!" Happy yelled.

Lucy burst into sudden laughter. Tears of joy and loss mixed together like salty relief on her cheeks. They laughed together until the water ran cold.

They departed the roadside inn later that morning, burdens light, packs heavy with replenished supplies, and they marched forward together. To Crocus.

And the future.

* * *

Fiore's capital buzzed with its annual spring festival, streamers and lanterns and flowers decorating every street. Lucy marveled at how beautiful the city looked while immersed in such arrays of colour. It sure beat staring at stone walls most of the day.

Couples basked in the sunshine, snuggled close on benches or playing games at nearby stalls. Groups with children played in the running fountains. Lucy absorbed the laughter, let it soak through her and cleanse the filth and the regret. Part of her wondered how Crime Sorciere were doing.

Natsu spun Lucy towards him. He placed a small crocus in the elastic of her right braid. She brushed the petals gently. He grinned.

She loved him so much.

It was a pleasantly warm day, so Lucy had returned Natsu's scarf, which he now wore loosely around his head. He'd kept the jacket Virgo offered him. It hung loose from his shoulders, silver stars glittering on his back.

Lucy inhaled the sweet air, filled with magic and memories and music. Songs played through the labyrinth of streets, people laughing and singing along at irregular beats. The atmosphere brightened her heart.

Being here now felt completely different to how it did years before, when Lucy had lived a quiet life, a lonely life, watching from the sidelines and documenting other mages' success. She'd always wanted to be a writer. But not at the cost of losing her guild and everything she stood for.

"Doesn't Crocus have a public job board for guild mages?" Lucy asked. "It could take some time before we find anything useful. Why don't we stay for a while?"

Natsu stopped walking. "You want to live here?"

"Just for a little while. There are lots of buildings to rent. My old apartment was discounted because of our role in the..." Lucy snapped her fingers. "Natsu? You listening?"

"Are you sure you wanna stay here?"

Lucy's heart sank with memories, heavy, heavier, but his smile lightened the burdens again. She expelled a long breath.

"I have to find Aquarius. So let's do it. It's almost summer, which means there will be more tournaments and events. There will be plenty to do." Lucy spread her hands. "Besides, I'm so _sick_ of staying at taverns and inns."

And no travel meant she could focus on the matter at heart.

"Don't push yourself, Lucy," Happy said.

He nuzzled her cheek. Lucy smiled.

"That settles it. We'll stay," Natsu agreed.

They found the board posted near Bar Sun, quests of all kinds pinned over each other, layers of jobs that ranged from dangerous to virtually risk-free. Lucy flipped through the papers, peeling back the over-layer to read those underneath.

Natsu snatched a flyer from the board. "This one," he said.

"Did you even bother to read the others?" Lucy asked.

Natsu stared at her. "But we're already here."

"What?"

Natsu tapped the flyer. It was a request from the owner of Bar Sun. Someone had been interfering with recent shipments and they needed mages to intercept the next wagon, which would be arriving tomorrow.

"Let's talk to the owner and find a place to stay. Once we're settled in, we can focus on the job," Lucy said.

Natsu's stomach growled. "And maybe, uh, while we're in there..."

Exasperated, Lucy groaned. "You're going to eat me out of rent money."

* * *

Agreeing to the job was easy. Forming a plan less so. It hadn't taken them long to sign a monthly lease, and now they put their attentions on the quest at hand. Lucy studied the details on the flyer, referring to her added notes for inspiration. The owner had said bandits were stealing his booze and selling it for higher prices. But why would bandits target _this_ wagon specifically? What was so special about Bar Sun's inventory? Was she missing something? There were plenty of other taverns in Crocus.

"Your ice-cream is melting," Natsu said.

Drops of vanilla splattered the flyer. Lucy stared at the cone, too absorbed in her thoughts to think about eating it. Natsu had demolished his three scoops in a single breath, and now they dawdled outside the local ice-cream parlor, hoarding the last free table. They hadn't moved in some time.

A slow breeze rustled the parasol above their heads. The table creaked with a sudden exertion of weight. Natsu chomped a mouthful of Lucy's ice-cream, vanilla smeared in streaks across his mouth.

"Natsu!" she griped.

Happy dissolved into laughter. "You should see your face, Lucy."

"Honestly, you two." Lucy offered Happy her cone, reaching across the table to wipe Natsu's face. "What am I supposed to do with you?"

Natsu grinned, licking the remaining flavour from his lips. "Don't worry about it too much, Lucy. We'll take down the bandits and ask _them_ why they're stealing from old man Sun."

Lucy scratched her cheek. "Well, I guess that's fair. All we have to do is stop them and our questions will be answered."

Natsu nodded. "There's a festival going on right now. We should play."

"Okay," she said.

They shared an odd look, like they weren't expecting her to agree.

"What? I know how to have fun too," she objected.

Natsu beamed. "Then let's go!"

He snagged Lucy's arm and dragged her into the streets. Waves of people parted to let them through, Lucy yelling apologies as they passed. She struggled to keep up with his pace, her feet clumsy, her arm aching. But he was so happy she didn't want him to stop.

"Where are we going? Slow down, Natsu!"

When they finally reached the plaza, Natsu skidded to a halt. Lucy smacked into his back, almost losing balance when Happy swooped to the rescue, adjusting her gently.

"What's gotten into you guys?" she asked.

"There's no time to slow down, Lucy," Happy said.

"That's right, buddy!" Natsu agreed. "Today we'll play so hard Lucy won't know what hit her!"

While she appreciated the notion, Lucy didn't like the sound of that. Natsu's "play" usually ended in bruises somehow. He took even the simplest of pillow fights to the extreme.

"You know, I can just watch," she said, shuffling towards the fountain benches.

Natsu snatched her hand. "No way! You promised!"

Well, it hadn't exactly been a _promise_.

Lucy's cheeks warmed. "Fine," she acceded. "What should we play?"

Natsu surveyed the plaza, scanning stall after stall, observing the long lines. Lucy half-expected him to suggest more food.

"That one!" Natsu said, pointing to a less busy stall ahead.

"You want to pop balloons?" she asked.

Natsu didn't answer. He dragged her over to the stall, impatiently tapping his foot until their turn arose. Happy floated close behind them. When their turn finally came he pushed Lucy into position.

Rows of balloons shimmered red and blue and green on the back wall of the stall, some slightly smaller than others. Natsu poised himself on her right, picking up three darts, and stared at the arrangement of balloons. Lucy watched him attentively.

"Wanna make a bet, Lucy?" he asked.

Lucy fidgeted with her darts. "I'm not so sure that I do."

"Whoever misses a balloon..." Natsu flashed her a wicked smile. "Has to wear whatever Happy picks out. Got it?"

Lucy shivered. He was leaving their punishments to the _cat_? This would _not_ be good. A little authority turned Happy into a little devil. He'd make her miserable in the name of fun.

She swallowed her nerves. "You're on, Natsu."

They alternated turns, with Natsu popping his first balloon easily. Lucy twirled the dart between her fingers, staring hard at her chosen target. The small balloon on the left would be easy. She'd been practicing her aim with Sagittarius.

"Concentrate," she told herself.

With a quick breath the dart landed home.

"Nice!" Natsu offered a high-five.

Lucy declined. "I'm going to win this."

"Whoa, Natsu. You better be careful," Happy teased.

They popped a second balloon each. Lucy could've sworn she'd started sweating. This was far more intense than any battle she'd ever been in.

She stole a quick glance at Natsu's face. He was so serious, and yet he wore that same playful smile. He looked so happy. It was hard to believe just days before they'd buried Ultear in the snow. Life was so strange like that. One minute people were there, and the next you were saying goodbye.

Lucy's heart ached. She botched the final throw, too distracted, and the dart missed her balloon by a hair's breadth.

"No!" she yelled, sinking to her knees.

"You gotta wear whatever I choose, Lucy!" Happy cackled.

"But don't worry, Lucy. You can face your punishment tomorrow." Natsu offered his hand. "Today is all about seeing you smile."

She took the hand reluctantly. "What prize did you get?" she asked.

He revealed a slender ring, a silver band carved with sapphire stars. Much too small for his finger. He took her left hand and slid it gently onto her ring finger. Lucy's mind rushed into a thousand different places at once. She saw Natsu on bended knee in a thousand different places, at a thousand different times. Her head almost exploded with heat.

"For you," he said, sliding the ring home. "A promise."

Now she was _definitely_ sweating. Lucy fanned her cheeks, embarrassed at the sneaky glances all around them. People were staring. "A promise?"

"Forever," was all he said.

"I'm going to die of embarrassment," she squeaked.

"You can't," he said. "We have more games to play!"

And off he ran.

* * *

A masterpiece of stars illuminated the night canvas, filling the empty plaza with mellow light. Lucy gazed long at the full moon, playing with the ring on her finger, twirling it back and forth. Exhaustion left her weary. They'd played for hours, bouncing between stalls, eating countless treats. Her stomach hurt.

What was it about the sky that left her so peaceful? She caressed the keys on her arm, wondering how Loke and Sagittarius fared after their fight. They'd been ripped from her so suddenly. So strangely. Lucy stared at her hands, remembering the chilling feeling of magic draining away. As Natsu's battle continued, Lucy's powers had faded, as though his very flames burned through her own magic source. But that was impossible.

In recent years, Lucy had never experienced anything like it. Could it have been the sensory link? Had it amplified their connection?

Part of Lucy wondered if Meredy's magic had accelerated the demon seed, but another part of Lucy, the part of her wallowing in regret, knew she was searching for a way to alleviate her guilt. This had nothing to do with Meredy.

There was still so much she didn't know.

Tapping her heels on the ground, Lucy leaned back on the wooden bench, watching spouts of water jump in and out of lacrima in the floor. Happy weaved around the spouts, calling to Lucy whenever he performed some kind of spin or trick. She watched him twirl around the biggest chute, laughing like a child.

Natsu stepped into view. "Here, Lucy."

He moved to her side, carrying three plastic cups of her chosen tea. He set Happy's aside and offered her a cup. She took it with a growing smile, her cheeks pink and sore from laughing so much. The day had been so special. He said nothing else as he sat beside her, waving whenever Happy called his name.

They felt like an honest family right now. A _normal_ family.

In the quiet of night, Lucy was reminded in fragments of the year she'd spent alone in Crocus. The shards were still buried deep in her heart, pieces breaking away, reopening the wounds she'd fought so hard to close. Natsu's warmth cauterized the worst of it, but it wasn't enough. She was human. And humans didn't simply abandon their feelings one day. Her memories were fresh with the pain.

Lucy took a long sip of tea and set it down on the bench beside her. She looked again to the stars, seeking guidance. She clasped her hands in prayer.

"I'm so sorry, Ultear," she whispered. "Please forgive me."

"I thought I'd lost you, Lucy."

Lucy didn't look at him. Didn't dare. Happy's voice rang in the distance, his laughter hurting like salt in their shared wounds. Lucy stood from the bench.

"We'll get through this," she said.

Natsu grabbed her wrist. Lucy paused. This was different than before. She glanced over her shoulder to find him staring at the ground, tears dripping onto the pavement. Lucy forced herself to look away. She watched Happy in the fountain, oblivious.

"Lucy, about before, when the guild disbanded..."

"It's fine," she cut in. "You don't need to explain."

"I'm sorry, Lucy. I'm so sorry."

Despite the ache in his voice, Lucy couldn't help but smile. Even now, after everything they'd been through, Natsu wasn't questioning her. He wasn't asking her about the marks on her face. He didn't care about Zeref's book. The thing he worried about the most was still _her_. Just plain old Lucy Heartfilia and her silly, fragile feelings.

She tipped her head back, tears dripping down her cheeks. "I understand, Natsu. I understand why you left."

She could feel him staring at her back.

"I didn't know the guild was disbanding, Lucy. I didn't know you'd be all alone. I really thought I was doing the right thing."

"I'm not hurt that you left, Natsu." She pulled her hand free and turned to face him. "It hurt that you didn't even say goodbye. That you couldn't talk to me."

"I had to get stronger."

"So you left without saying anything?"

"You're my weakness, Lucy."

Lucy wasn't sure she'd heard him right. She stared at him, blinking away tears, her cheeks throbbing with heat.

"I had to leave you a letter," he continued. "Seeing your face, even for just a second, would've made me stay. Saying goodbye wasn't an option."

Lucy's heart sparkled with a conflicting medley of affection and hurt. She'd been so selfish. All that time, wallowing in loneliness, succumbing to her own pain while he suffered as well. She'd assumed he was off somewhere with Happy, laughing and joking like he always did. How could she have been so stupid?

"I need you by my side, Lucy."

Lucy smiled sadly. "I'm sorry, Natsu. I should have been more understanding."

"No. You had every right to be upset."

He was right. One person's pain did not outweigh another's. They were both going through different things. His own suffering did not defunct hers.

"Losing Aquarius was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, Natsu. She was a piece of my mother. She was my friend."

"We'll find her," he promised.

"Even so, I would endure it all again if I had to. I would break every key in my possession to keep you safe. I would forego magic itself if I had to. That's just what love is."

Natsu raised his head. "Lucy..."

"Please don't make me regret what I did. Don't sit there and feel sorry for me. None of that matters now. We're together, like this. After everything we've been through, do you really think one year apart is enough to break us? We have a whole future ahead of us. Let's replace the bad memories with good ones."

It hurt. It hurt so much she couldn't stand it. But Lucy's words were sincere. It would take a long time to forget that long year without them. And she would never stop trying to let it go.

"I'm sorry, Lucy," he said again.

Lucy took his hand and squeezed. "Natsu, life without you is like a night without stars. Dark and lonely." But what she meant to say was, _I love you_. "You are my yesterday, my today, and my tomorrow. You are forgiven. You will always be forgiven."

"I'll never leave you again."

"That's right! You promised me, remember?" She flashed her ring finger. "We'll always be together. No matter what."

Natsu held her gaze with eyes so human, so vulnerable, Lucy thought she might drown in their sincerity.

"Forever, Lucy."


	9. Precious Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to smartcookie727 for helping me settle on an outfit. You got me, girl. You always got me.

Lucy was dead.

Natsu held her lifeless body in his arms. Fresh blood dripped from Lucy's closed eyes, tangling itself in her long, beautiful hair. Sobs punctured his throat like teeth ripping out all hope, blood and spit occluding his airways. He couldn't breathe.

Why was this happening? If he'd woken up in time, if he'd been there, maybe Dimaria wouldn't have...

"Lucy, please."

Natsu took a breath. This wasn't real. He was dreaming again. That had to be it. He relived the moment in a cycle, so bloody and brutal it stained his vision red. He'd caught a taste for revenge, sweet and seductive. He'd lost count of the times he'd beaten Dimaria bloody.

It didn't matter what he said now, how much he begged, Lucy wouldn't move. Dimaria's body hissed smoke behind him, the stench of burnt flesh and coagulated blood fueling his blood lust. His only regret was that he hadn't savored that woman's defeat.

The real nightmare wasn't reliving Lucy's death, it was enduring the painful truth. It was knowing how much he _wanted_ to hurt Dimaria and having every opportunity to do it. He wanted to kill her for what she'd done. For what he _thought_ she'd done.

No, it wasn't enough to simply kill her. He wanted Dimaria to suffer. To gasp for breath and beg him to stop.

"Natsu?"

Natsu balked. Lucy moved in his arms. She'd never spoken to him before. Not in this dream, where memories slumbered deep with ghouls to create atrocities. He placed his ear to her face, listened for a breath. Nothing.

Had he imagined it?

Lucy's lifeblood dripped hot and heavy between his fingers. He grabbed a fistful of her hair, pressing her face close to his chest. He couldn't stand to see her like this.

"Lucy?" he dared to ask.

The body in his arms vanished, replaced by a cloud of glittering stars. Her soul dripped through the gaps in his fingers, ice-cold and forgotten. Natsu stood.

This wasn't part of the cycle...

"Wake up, Natsu. You're having a bad dream."

Natsu's eyes fluttered open.

Lucy hovered over him in their bed, blonde hair trailing down her face. She caressed his cheek and eased him awake with her soft smile. Natsu teetered on the bridge between sleep and reality. Could he still be dreaming?

"I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to wake you. It's just..." Lucy lifted their intertwined hands. "You were hurting me."

Natsu tore his hand free. "I'm sorry, Lucy."

Her smile brightened. "You couldn't help it."

And that's exactly why he was sorry. Natsu was powerless in his dreams. If he couldn't stop himself from hurting her, if he did something worse, how could he ever forgive himself? Asleep or awake, Natsu could only blame himself. And with the demon seed growing again inside him, it was only a matter of time before he screwed up.

Natsu shivered at the thought. Lucy adjusted the blankets. The strap of her top dropped into the crease of her elbow, exposing her soft skin. Natsu reflexively pushed it back onto her shoulder, his fingers lingering a second too long. She was so warm. Alive. Lucy touched the hand on her shoulder.

Propped on an elbow, Lucy leaned closer. She looked so vulnerable, soft, like the crocus he'd given her just yesterday. But Lucy's petals were in full bloom, strong as they were vibrant. She held his gaze captive in a realm where time simply didn't exist. Natsu raised his hand and brushed her cheek, lazily curling his fingers into the hair on her neck. She leaned over him like warm sunlight.

"You know, I've been thinking," she said.

Maybe it was the fatigue taking over, but the diffidence in Lucy's tone left him hungry to be near her. Natsu's body moved by itself. He abandoned reason, succumbing to languor. He drew her closer, rising on his elbow to meet her half-way. He brushed his nose against hers. Happy stirred on the bed, mumbling in his sleep. Lucy moved away, tucking strands of hair behind her ears. Embarrassed.

"Jellal told me something before," Natsu said. He inclined fully and stared at his hands.

"What did he say?"

"That talking would help."

Lucy sat up on her knees, attentive. "It's true. Whenever I have bad dreams, Levy and I usually talk about them. Or I write letters to my mother."

Natsu crossed his legs and intertwined his fingers, not entirely sure where to start. "But will this really work?

"What do you mean?"

"This isn't a nightmare, Lucy. It's a memory."

Lucy's expression softened, sympathetic, sad. "What kind of memory?"

He didn't know how else to put it, so he just said it: "I thought you were dead."

"But I'm not, Natsu. And I have to live with that."

"No, not in the mountains," he said. "During our war with the Empire, I thought I'd lost you again." Again, because Future Lucy's death was as real to him as this Lucy's would be. "I couldn't handle it, Lucy. Seeing you like that, so still. I couldn't control my actions. It wasn't me. And yet it was. You were the one thing keeping me together when everything seemed to be falling apart. It was like my humanity just slipped away. Hurting Dimaria..." Natsu hesitated. "It was freeing. I think a part of me liked it."

Lucy did well to disguise any disgust she felt. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He quirked a brow. Was she really about to lecture him on sharing secrets?

"I held you in my arms, Lucy. You weren't moving. I couldn't think clearly at all. I thought you were dead. You were suddenly gone and it didn't matter at all if I died with Zeref. I would have done anything to rid the world of his army once and for all. If Erza hadn't stopped me back then, I don't..."

Lucy embraced him. Natsu caressed the small of her back, his hands trembling. This was real. Lucy was real and alive. He felt so ashamed, like his dreams were enemies he couldn't beat. Something he couldn't protect her from.

"I'm right here, Natsu."

Happy squeezed between them. "Me too," he whimpered.

Natsu held them both tightly. "I don't want to live without you," he said. And he meant it.

"Don't say that," Lucy whispered. "No matter what happens, with or without us, you have to live."

"Lucy..."

"Promise me, Natsu."

Natsu buried his face against her neck. "I promise."

_Fifty one. Fifty two. Fifty three._

Beads of sweat dribbled from Natsu's chin. He watched each drop splatter the hardwood floor, where Lucy insisted he remain until the morning's workout was over. Heaven forbid he ruin that ugly pink carpet in the middle of the room.

He lowered himself into the next push-up, his arms burning at last. Lucy's weight shifted on his back. She patted his shoulder playfully, _Good job._

"How many push-ups is that?" she asked, flipping loudly through the pages of her book. "Three? Four?"

Natsu stifled a laugh. Better _not_ to lose composure than accidentally throw her on the floor. He proceeded with ten more, and each time she counted lower, giggling as she bounced on his back.

"You're awfully brave for someone who lost a bet yesterday," Natsu quipped.

"Oh~?" she asked, overconfident.

"That's right, Lucy. Today's the day!" Happy sprang to his feet, invigorated from his own haphazard set of push-ups. "You have to wear _whatever_ I choose. All day."

She tensed, almost losing her balance. "Are we seriously doing this? I thought you were joking."

Natsu grunted a yes. He'd lost count.

"Pffft, Lucy. You're so red," Happy teased. "Are you thinking about something dirty?"

"Don't make me hurt you, cat!"

Natsu adjusted his position, shifting into a plank. "It doesn't matter what he chooses," he said seriously. "You're always pretty."

"Natsu, you're being too nice," Happy said.

Lucy tumbled off his back. "I-I'm okay." She covered her face and squealed. "I think."

This time Natsu couldn't contain his laughter. He sat upright, watching her frantically recover the place in her book. She marked the page with a slip of paper and set it aside.

Their apartment was comfortably empty. Pre-furnished, Lucy insisted they didn't add anything unnecessary to the decor. They wouldn't be here forever, after all. Better not to grow attached. Even so, Natsu found it strange to see her living without a desk and quill. It wouldn't stop her finding the means to read and write, he knew, but it was eerie all the same.

"Those bandits won't stand a chance today," Natsu said.

Happy flexed his muscles, playfully showcasing his post-workout body to Lucy. Despite her obvious sulking, Lucy applauded his hard work and gave him a playful pat on the head.

"Good job, you two. You've earned a big breakfast," she said.

Sprawling on the loveseat, Lucy brushed skeins of damp hair off her face and tucked them behind an ear. Natsu's heart raced. He couldn't remember which parts of of last night were a dream and which were reality. It didn't seem to matter. She'd woken him when he needed her. In that moment of closeness, he'd felt it: an ache of wanting. The desire to _taste_ her.

Natsu's stomach tingled. In all their time together, Lucy had always been remarkably beautiful. Her spirit. Her face. Her smile. All of her. But it was only recently that Natsu felt compelled to _do_ something about it. As though he had a right. A need.

He wanted more.

Virgo materialised in the centre of the room. Lucy shrieked at the sudden intrusion. Natsu and Happy erupted with laughter. They'd been expecting her.

"Princess, I brought your outfit as requested," Virgo announced.

Lucy's eyes widened. "Not _that_."

Virgo held the garments high above her head. It was the very same outfit she'd worn to Everlue's manor, back when Natsu had inadvertently tricked her into being a maid. It wasn't the costume that would embarrass her, however, but the memories that came with it. She'd taken him so seriously back then. Seeing the outfit here, knowing what he knew, left him sentimental.

"Time to change, Lucy!" Happy cheered.

"I hate all of you," she said.

"Then, if it would please you, Princess." Virgo offered her arms as though waiting to be cuffed. "Please punish me appropriately!"

Lucy's body visibly prickled. She waved her hands in frantic protest. "No, no. You're fine. Thank you."

"Then, should I help you dress?" Virgo offered.

"Sure..." Lucy shot Happy a scathing look. "It's not like I have a choice."

Lucy emerged from the bedroom a short while later, sparkling despite her obvious discomfort. She held a pillow to her chest, her face blossoming with colour. Silken black ribbons dangled from buns on Lucy's head.

Her stockings ran shorter than the previous ones, scalloped ruffles barely touching the knee to leave room for her thigh holster. She wore the arm guard as well, but Virgo had decorated it with thin black lace to match the current theme. Slowly, Lucy lowered the pillow, and Natsu's heart stuttered violently in his chest.

Natsu had always thought Lucy put too much confidence in her looks and not enough in her abilities, but this Lucy, the Lucy who fought to protect everyone in the Alvarez War, seemed suddenly _shy_. Seeing her so modest made Natsu's heart race. He couldn't catch the feelings running through him, so he let them trample his sensibility until his brain fogged with nothing but images of her.

She fidgeted with the long ribbon at her collar, the blouse buttoned high to her neck. Virgo had stitched little black stars into the white apron.

"How does it look?" she mumbled.

Natsu's mouth opened. Countless jokes filled his mind, running rampant, words tripping over each other. He locked them away and swallowed the key.

Memories of their first meeting surfaced to the forefront of his mind. These thoughts connected like stones forming a bridge between times. He couldn't shake the feeling that they were destined to meet.

"How does it look, _Master_ ," Happy corrected.

Lucy visibly blushed. "Not a chance."

Natsu grabbed the tails of his scarf, seeking sense amidst his addled thoughts. This was no different to seeing her wear Virgo's Star Dress. And yet, knowing where the outfit came from made all the difference. Natsu kept it with his trove of precious memories. His heart beat a maudlin tune.

He'd never imagined that Lucy would become someone so important to him. She'd simply been there at the time. Someone he'd protected. Someone he wanted to help. He wanted to be with her forever.

Happy nudged his shoulder. "Natsu? Why aren't you teasing Lucy?"

"What?"

Lucy crouched on the balls of her feet, her face too close, her hands gentle on his shoulders. "Do you feel sick?"

Natsu shrank away. "Those bandits will be on the road by now."

Lucy side-eyed Happy. "What did you do to him?"

"I'm _offended,_ " Happy snapped.

"Should I take it off?" Lucy asked.

"No!" Natsu blinked. Was that _his_ voice just now? "No. Don't take it off."

"Maybe you broke him with your huge thighs," Happy chortled.

"There's enough lace here to strangle you twice over," Lucy threatened.

"It's hot," Natsu mumbled.

Both whirled back to Natsu and said, "What?"

Lucy placed her hand on his forehead, her palm cool, her breath sweet with the aftertaste of flavoured tea. Erza had always told him to pick and choose his battles. This seemed like a good time to flee. He sprinted for the bathroom.

"Natsu?!" Lucy called after him.

"It's too hot in here," he blurted, slamming the door behind him.

"Happy, did our Dragon Slayer just say he's too _hot_?"

* * *

A low mist daubed the blue horizon, coating the merchant's road in deep, grey silence. From his perch in the fork of a large yoshino tree, Natsu saw silhouettes form in the thick haze. The wagon was almost here.

Lucy needed his eyes to see, so he watched over her from above, detecting the slightest of movements ahead.

White petals fluttered like snow all around him. Natsu snatched a petal from the sky and rubbed it between two fingers. His arms tingled with gooseflesh. Thoughts of snow delivered Natsu to the mountain. Meredy's screams shot through his focus like stars falling from the sky, blowing apart his dreams. He killed the thoughts and buried them alongside Ultear, praying neither would return to haunt him.

"Will Lucy be okay?" Happy whispered.

Natsu's gaze fell to the lower road, where Lucy hid behind a row of freshly trimmed hedges. She motioned with a quick hand signal: _Wagon sighted_. Natsu heightened his senses and listened. Wheels rocked and creaked over the hillside, slowed by heavy cargo. He closed his eyes and inhaled a long breath. Natsu heard only three other heartbeats. Lucy, Happy, and the driver.

Ascending the tree, Happy shadowed his gaze and, hooking his tail over the branch, dangled to get a closer look. "I don't see any bandits."

Sheltered by an umbrella of leaves, Natsu gripped a lower branch and leaned in closer. _Thump. Thump. Thump._

Two more heartbeats. No, three. Four?

Crap. There were five of these bastards, and Lucy was just sitting there, waiting to be...

Natsu inhaled soft breaths and calmed his racing heartbeat. Lucy was right there, in view. Nothing would happen. Besides, he trusted her, and she'd _insisted_ on gauging the situation before he charged in all _flames and fists_ , as she'd put it.

"Pfffftttt. Look." Happy gestured to Lucy's sudden change in position. She'd stood into a half-crouch, her body arched low against the trim of hedges. "You can see Lucy's panties."

Natsu choked, blood mantling his cheeks. _What_ panties?!

"Hm? Why is your face so red, Natsu?"

Natsu grinned despite himself. "My face isn't re—Hey, they're here!"

Lucy leapt into action, her whip gyrating overhead. She took out three of the bandits with ease—but not the ease of a skilled fighter. It was like Lucy had battled _air_. She struck a fourth bandit and the figure vaporized like cloaked mist, tattered cape shivering to the ground. Lucy grabbed the cape and surveyed the battlefield.

_There._

The final bandit leapt off the wagon, striking Lucy hard across the face. A second strike sent her reeling across the road. Natsu jerked forward. She leapt back out of harm's way, two keys spread between her fingers. Happy grabbed his sleeve.

"We promised Lucy," he said.

Natsu grit his teeth. _'I need you to be my eyes, okay?'_

Just what was he supposed to be looking for, anyway? They looked like regular bandits to him. And if they were mages, their magic was nothing compared to Lucy's. This fight would be over in seconds.

Something was wrong.

No matter what Lucy did, the bandit came back for more, appearing as if from nowhere. Lucy suffered kicks to her back and side, her body hurtling back and forth like a spin-top trapped between two walls. Blood sprayed from her nose.

"Lucy!" Happy screamed.

Flames kindled in Natsu's belly. He couldn't take this anymore.

Rebounding, Lucy summoned Gemini in a flash of powerful light. Natsu froze in the immensity of her power. Nothing came between Lucy and her spirits. Not even lack of training. Gemini-Lucy flanked the bandit, and together they snagged the enemy in a tangle of two whips.

"You can do it, Lucy," Natsu whispered.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

"Why are you stealing Bar Sun's cargo?" Lucy demanded.

_. .Thump._

There were more?

No, just one. Someone close. And they were moving fast.

Footsteps padded the grass beneath him. Natsu glanced below. A sixth bandit rolled one of Sun's barrels onto the roadside, panting with exertion. The woman lowered her hood to reveal cropped black hair, tipped a deep purple that matched her violet gaze. She glanced over at Lucy and Gemini, a wicked smile on her lips.

_That's it!_

The other bandits were _copies_.

Natsu flung himself out of the tree, snaking his legs around the bandit's neck. She hurled him over her shoulder, smashing his body into the ground. Natsu gasped from the unexpected blow. Flames burst from his fists. He swung a right hook. She dodged and crushed his chest with her boot.

What the heck?

Natu's heart squeezed and the seed within him sputtered violent rage. Natsu choked on it. Visions of Dimaria's bloody body echoed through his mind.

"Would you really hurt a woman?" the bandit asked.

"I don't see a woman," Natsu spat.

She licked her lips and kicked him hard across the face. Tendrils of mist loosed from her palms, shimmering into a new shape. Natsu shot flames into the headless clone, evaporating it.

"I know your trick," he said, grinning a devil's grin.

The woman reeked of sudden fear. "You and your girlfriend should've stayed home with your weird fetish."

Lucy descended from the sky like an angel bringing salvation, Happy's wings spread large at her back. She drove an axe kick into the woman's neck and flipped over the bandit's head, landing clean on Natsu's face. Her hands slapped the ground above his head. Lucy's skirt rendered him in total darkness.

He felt along her body with his hands, squeezing her waist. Lucy's thighs warmed his face.

"Is this the real Lucy?" he asked.

"O-of course it's me!"

Sure, it _sounded_ like Lucy, but Gemini had played this trick before. And _his_ Lucy would definitely be standing by now. He had to be sure. Slowly, Natsu turned his face and bit Lucy's thigh. She vaulted with a screech and her back hit the wagon with a loud _creak_.

"I can't believe you _bit_ me!" she wailed.

In gaps through the mist, Natsu saw the wagon, its stock barely plundered. The horses reared and huffed, their reigns falling loose between them.

Natsu sprang upright. _The driver was gone._

Happy hovered over the unconscious bandit on the ground. She'd been an easy fight. Too easy. Something in Natsu wasn't satisfied. A hunger for violence spiked, but the brief time was enough to make him sick.

"You know, if she hadn't kicked me so hard, I'd be impressed," Lucy said. "All this time they've been looking for a group of bandits, when they should have been suspecting the driver."

Of course. If the driver could make clones of herself, she could make it _look_ like an ambush while taking off with the barrels herself. Nobody would suspect a thing. And it explained why the bandits attacked in broad daylight. She relied on witnesses to make her look like the victim.

"I knew you'd figure it out," Natsu said.

Gemini-Lucy latched onto his arm, snuggling so tight they cut off circulation to his bicep. Lucy blanched.

"What do you think you're doing?!" she scolded.

"He's so handsome," they echoed.

Happy dissolved into laughter. "Is that supposed to be Lucy?!"

"Master," they cooed, ruffling their skirt, "how can we please you today?"

Natsu yanked his arm free. Gemini-Lucy pursued him, throwing her arms around his neck, her face too close. Natsu tumbled onto his back.

"Quit it, Lucy!" he snapped.

"It's not me!"

Gemini-Lucy smirked at him. "Do you want to know it?" they asked.

Natsu stopped struggling. "What?"

Their hands slid under Natsu's shirt, fingers skating across his chest. Natsu didn't move. Didn't breathe.

"Do you want to know her true feelings?"

The spirit vanished. Natsu collapsed flat on his back, the tension so thick he could carve it into blocks and build a village worth of houses.

Lucy dry washed her hands. "That's enough of that," she said, roseate cheeks dimpling with a shy smile. She wiped a smudge of blood from her upper lip. "Let's go claim our reward."

Natsu's stomach hurt. "Just..."Warmth radiated through his body. "Give me a minute."

* * *

Pleased with their quick work, the owner of Bar Sun doubled their reward, throwing in a couple of drinks and a new job as a bonus. Natsu tucked the flyer away for another day.

They emerged from the bar near midnight, the moon a winking crescent in the sky. Lucy staggered, almost tumbling off the pier. Natsu caught her by the waist. He helped her walk up the stairs and onto the main street.

"Natsu, Natsu, Natsu," she chanted, bopping his nose with two fingers. "Won't you scratch my head?"

She shoved her head under his chin, nudging his neck with her face. Happy lifted her head and held it steady as they proceeded onto the next street, taking a shortcut between two rows of houses.

"You're heavy, Lucy," Happy complained.

"It's because I'm so full of _love_!" she squealed.

Natsu pulled her closer. "When did you get so drunk?"

"Yesterday!"

Well, she wasn'ttechnically wrong.

"Do you want to know a secret?" Lucy purred.

_'Do you want to know her true feelings?'_

Natsu bristled. "You want your head scratching?" he guessed.

Lucy giggled. "Yes! But no, that's not my secret!"

She threw her arms around his neck, falling slack against him. Her weight stopped him dead in his tracks. Natsu held her waist while Happy tried—struggled—to right her again.

Her face inched closer, her breath bitter with ale. "C'mere, I'll tell you."

Despite a sudden burst of adrenaline, Natsu didn't move. She brushed her lips against his ear, wobbling sideways. Happy barely managed to hold her steady. She purred softly, and then she kissed his cheek.

Natsu dropped her.

"Owie!" she cried.

"Me too, me too!" Happy yelled.

Lucy snatched him from the sky and smothered him in kisses. Natsu's face heated. He'd forgotten just how dangerous a combination beer and Lucy could be.

"We should leave. It's late," he said.

Her eyes glistened with tears. She gripped her apron in fists, her body trembling. "Did I displease you, master?"

Natsu choked. "What? No. You didn't displease me."

Lucy dropped to her knees.

"What should I do?" she wailed.

"You made her cry, Natsu," Happy said.

Booze and embarrassment fused in Natsu's body, draining what remained of his sobriety. He allowed himself a moment to sway on the brink of intoxication.

"Get up, Lucy," he demanded.

She stood immediately.

There it was again, that twinkling urge to tease her.

"Spin around," he said.

She twirled gracefully, minus a wobble at the end. She grinned happily.

"Strip!" Happy yelled playfully.

She struggled with a few buttons, popping the front of her dress wide open. Natsu squeezed the material closed, holding it shut against her breasts.

"What's wrong? Does my body not please you?" she asked, so serious every organ in Natsu's body stuttered to a halt.

"What? You're perf—I mean, I never said—listen, this isn't the right place for this."

And she'd kick his ass when she remembered in the morning.

"Where is the right place?" she asked, almost squeezing herself out of the material between his hands.

Natsu averted his gaze. "Home is the... Wait, no. What?"

"I think you broke him, Lucy," Happy teased.

Lucy moved too quickly. His hand drifted into her shirt, cupping a handful of lace and skin. Lucy purred a noise so sweet, so seductive, Natsu almost fainted. Blood dripped from his nose, pressure and heat building in his face. He blinked rapidly, dizzily, his fingers a twitch of life on her warm skin. He tore his hand free and stepped away, alarmed at his own drunken response.

"Oh no, that's not good. If he loses too much blood he won't be able to operate where it counts," a voice said.

Minerva and a blushing Yukino stood behind them.

"Hello," Yukino said.

Minerva smiled in greeting. "My, my, it has been a while, hasn't it?"

Lucy threw herself at Yukino. The two girls embraced, Yukino clumsily fixing Lucy's buttons.

"Yo," Natsu said, barely containing his own embarrassment. "What're you guys doing here?"

"We're on a job," Yukino said, scratching Lucy's chin.

"It seems you two were on quite the mission yourselves," Minerva added.

"Lucy was so cool!" Happy yelled. "She fought off five bandits by herself!"

"Well, when she sobers up, you should bring her to our inn." Minerva gestured to a tall building across the street. "I'm sure Sting would love to see you, Natsu."

Natsu perked up at the news. "Sting's here?"

"You're so cute," Lucy giggled, nuzzling Yukino's face.

Minerva pulled Lucy close. "You and I need to talk. In private."

Lucy visibly blushed. "Right now?"

"Tomorrow," she said, walking Lucy back to his side. "It's a date."

Natsu helped Lucy stand. "Tomorrow, then," he said.

Minerva smiled. "Make sure her needs are met~"

The way she said it made Natsu's stomach hurt.

The two girls walked away, leaving Natsu with nothing but a faint goodbye. Lucy grabbed fistfuls of his scarf, yanking him so close she almost strangled him.

"What's wrong now?" he asked, wrenching her fingers open.

Lucy's tongue dipped into the crease of her mouth. She leaned closer, a sultry glimmer in her dark eyes.

"Take me to bed, _Natsu_."

"Lucy..."

She stumbled into him. Lucy landed firm on his chest, Natsu's head bouncing off the pavement so hard he couldn't think clearly. Her face swirled in his line of sight.

"I can't take this anymore," he groaned.

"Are you okay?" she panicked. "Where does it hurt? Natsu? Hey, don't close your eyes. Wake up. Right now!"

Natsu squeezed his eyes shut. "I'm fine. You're heavy, Lucy."

"Does it hurt? Tell me where it hurts! I'll make it better!"

"Yes," he jibed. "It hurts a lot."

But there isn't a cure for love.


	10. Trust and Tears

Lucy's head throbbed.

Memories of her drunken antics flickered like used up wicks, only a spark of light moving through the storm of her waking hangover. Her apron hung over the end of the loveseat, white frills wrinkled and stained. Lucy barely remembered stripping off, and what she did remember involved Natsu's unwilling hands. At this point he'd touched so much of her body she might _as well_ marry him.

She covered her face and moaned. How was she supposed to face him now? She'd practically thrown herself at him. Even worse, sober and aching, she didn't care that he'd touched her. Maybe it was time to face facts.

Inebriated or not, Lucy liked it.

_'Take me to bed, Natsu.'_

Lines of scarlet warmth climbed Lucy's neck. If it wasn't one thing it was another. Embarrassment or worry, her thoughts revolved entirely around him.

Despite Natsu's frantic efforts to put her to bed, Lucy couldn't sleep, and as the drunkenness faded, she'd become more and more ashamed. Gracious in defeat, she'd left Natsu and Happy to sleep alone in the bedroom. It was humiliating. So. Damn. Humiliating.

She stared now into the dark living room, calling upon what little strength she had to sit upright. Bundled in blankets, she huddled against the arm of the loveseat, offhandedly leafing through pages of her book.

That stupid outfit seemed to watch her from the floor. There were so many memories woven in the black lace. So many hopes and dreams.

Candlelight spit in the pre-dawn shadows, lending its light to the spread of old pages on her knees. Maybe reading a romance wasn't the best idea, but Lucy had little else to focus on right now. Not that she was focusing. At all. Despite her best efforts, the words just didn't sink in. She'd reread the page thrice now, and each time her mind wandered to other things.

She couldn't let Ultear's sacrifice be for nothing. She had to do something. Think of _something_. Crocus was a library of untold wisdom and rich histories. There had to be answers here.

Tiny footsteps creaked into the room. "Lucy, I can't sleep."

Happy shuffled into the living room, rubbing his tired eyes. Lucy opened her blankets to him. He leapt up and snuggled at her side, his fur soft and warm.

"Is it Natsu?" she asked.

"I want to help him, Lucy."

Lucy set her book on the coffee table. "We're going to help him."

Natsu's screams tore through the house. Lucy flinched. Both took a moment to calm themselves, reminding themselves he was dreaming, that he was safe there. Tormented, but _safe_.

_You must help him see._

Lucy tensed. She turned her upper body slowly, weighted by fear. Happy whispered something, but Lucy couldn't hear him over the beating jitters of her own heart. His paws found her hand and squeezed.

Zeref stood at the end of the coffee table, drawing circles around the candle's flame. Tearful eyes captured Lucy's gaze.

"Help him see," he said again.

"See what?" she asked.

"Lucy? Who are you talking to?"

Zeref smiled softly. Had she fallen asleep again?

"See _what_?" she demanded.

"Natsu will never know peace until he sees the truth. The demon seed thirsts to kill me, its power conjures these dreams, feeds into the hunger. Help him see that the scratching under his bed does not come from a monster, but from his own fears. He is my greatest regret." Zeref snuffed the candle flame with his fingers. "End this, so that we may be at peace."

_We?_

Shrouded in darkness, Lucy saw a gleam of light so bright it lifted her paranoia. A young woman smiled from within the light, blonde hair parted in waves down her back. She glowed in shades of silver starlight and pastel promises.

_Mavis._

"First Master," Happy whispered.

This wasn't a dream?

She wore a silken gown that hung from a single shoulder, white lace undulating across the floor, hues of snow white innocence. Of goodness and kindness and _love_. A large ribbon bloomed from the small of her back.

No longer a child, Mavis stood at Zeref's height, her arms strong, muscular, her back straight and poised. She looked like the queens in Lucy's fairy tales.

"Be strong, Lucy," Mavis said. "Remember, great light casts greater shadows. Darkness doesn't always mean the end. When all seems lost, embrace the source of light, not the deep, dark depths it has created."

"Wait!" Lucy clambered to her feet. "Please! Tell me what to do!"

Mavis took Zeref's hand and disappeared.

Small arms gripped Lucy's ankles. Lucy dropped into a crouch. Happy spilled into her embrace, his paws clutching at her shirt.

"I'm scared, Lucy."

"It's okay." Lucy caressed his head. "You're okay."

"I'm scared something is going to happen to you," Happy said.

"Nothing is going to happen to me."

Happy wasn't convinced. "I don't want to lose you."

"Listen." Lucy touched a finger to his chest. "Even when we're apart, I'll always be right here. Just think of me and I'll appear. I promise."

The bedroom door slammed open, revealing a burning figure within the room. Lucy pushed Happy behind her.

"Lucy, what should we do?"

"Stay behind me," Lucy said.

Cracked with scales, Natsu's face drained of all colour, his eyes open despite dreaming. Serpentine slits darted left and right, seeing nothing, bleeding crimson into the sclera. He was rage personified.

"Natsu," Happy whimpered.

"Stay back," she warned. "He's not himself right now."

Or perhaps he was more himself than she'd ever dared to dream. This was the monster Zeref created. This was the light at the end of his long, immortal tunnel, burning high like a funeral pyre. Within the crimson flames, cold blue shimmered emptily.

Natsu is Natsu, she told herself.

"Where is Zeref?" Natsu asked, his voice rattling with gravel, his tone thick with hatred.

"He's gone."

Natsu turned dangerous eyes on her. "I smell him."

Lucy slid one foot back, keeping Happy from view.

Natsu stepped forward. One. Two. Three. _Four_.

He lunged.

Lucy threw Happy over the loveseat, taking the brunt of Natsu's force. He knocked her to the ground, slamming fists on floorboards. She rolled her head aside, barely dodging a blow to the face.

"Stop it!" she snapped. "Stop this, Natsu!"

She shoved her hand against his face, obscuring the glare of those demonic eyes.

"Listen to my voice. It's me, Lucy!"

"Lu..."

Hope kindled. "Yes! Listen to me, Natsu! This isn't you!"

His voice turned to a snarl, tearing hope as easy as paper, scattering the shreds all around her. He struck her hard across the face. Happy flew into action, smacking Natsu's back.

"Leave Lucy alone!"

"Stay away!" Lucy screamed.

Natsu launched Happy across the room in a whorl of fire and furor.

Lucy jammed her knee into Natsu's stomach, rolling them over. She straddled him hard, pinning hot fists against the floor. Flames licked her skin, burning flesh and dreams. She winced at the pain.

"I don't want to fight you," she begged.

A low, guttural hiss answered.

"You idiot!" she yelled. "Wake up! Wake up right now! This isn't who you are!"

Natsu's pupils widened slightly, absorbing the light of her pleas. "Lu...cy?"

"You're my hero, Natsu. You were made to help people. To do good things. This isn't who you're supposed to be."

"Natsu!" Happy pulled himself across the floor. "You're my hero too!"

One last scream filled the house with horrors, and then Natsu's body relaxed, sinking into the floor. His eyelids fluttered closed. Lucy arched and threw back her head, relief oozing from her aching limbs. Natsu whispered their names.

"Happy, can you stand?"

He pushed himself upright, tears biting his tired eyes. "Are you okay, Lucy?"

"Go grab some blankets," she told him.

Reluctantly, Happy did as she asked.

Lucy lurched forward, catching herself on Natsu's chest. Pain spasmed in her face, marks beating under her skin. Heat blossomed in her cheeks, spreading to her neck, her back, her stomach. These blooms had thorns. They pricked her. Bleeding, bruising. She gasped.

Hands clutched her throat. Lucy gulped breaths she couldn't swallow. He squeezed harder, sitting up with the controlled ease of a marionette on strings. Lucy twisted, but Natsu heaved her off the ground, shoving her hard against the wall. He traced her marked skin with his left hand. His thumb brushed her lips. Natsu's hold slackened. She choked, gasping sweet, delicious air.

"What are you doing?" she coughed out.

"You reek of Zeref," he growled.

Lucy's heart plunged into her stomach. Cold blood filled her veins with icy horrors and raw terrors. She stole a glance at the door, praying Happy wouldn't return. He couldn't see this. She had to protect him at all costs.

"Natsu, please stop this."

He lifted her off the ground, toes grazing the wooden floor.

"You burn me inside," he whispered. "Why?"

Lucy choked, tears welling, her legs flailing helplessly off the ground. He leaned in close to inspect the marks on her face. Slowly, he released her. She fell stiff against the wall, hands flat to her sides, pulse radiating fear in her body. He buried his face against her neck, inhaling her scent. His hands squeezed her waist.

"Lucy," he said. " _My_ Lucy."

Natsu brushed his lips against her collar bone, tasting her skin, testing the boundaries of their bond. His mouth opened, hot breath kissing her neck. Lucy sucked down a whimper. He bit her, hard, but not in the way a monster feasts on prey. His lips grazed her with such gentleness it opened thousands of cocoons in her stomach, butterflies erupting, their wings aflame. Her arms went limp at her sides.

"I'm all fired up," he whispered.

Lucy grabbed his hand. The motion gave him pause. Natsu raised his head, eyes a glimmer of confusion. She pressed his palm against her chest.

"If you want to touch me, go ahead. Wake up and _touch me_ ," she said.

Natsu cupped her face with his free hand, calloused fingers brushing her torrid cheeks. "Don't die, Lucy," he whispered. "You are my..."

He collapsed.

It took all of Lucy's strength, mental and otherwise, to hoist him onto the loveseat. Happy emerged a moment later with blankets, visibly shaken.

He'd seen everything.

They tucked Natsu in as best they could, his voice a murmur of lost dreams and abandoned fears.

"Let's go to bed," she whispered. "You need to rest."

Like either of them would rest after _that_ ordeal.

She scooted him into the bedroom, pausing just once in the doorway. Natsu didn't move within the dark room.

"We should let him sleep longer," Lucy whispered.

Happy nodded, unusually quiet. Lucy closed the door gently behind them. She'd barely made it to the bed when Happy dove into her arms, burying his face against her chest. Lucy's hands lifted in surprise. Shock subsided, replaced by a nurturing instinct. She enfolded him in her arms.

"I don't want him to die," Happy said.

Lucy's mind flickered back to their war with Alvarez, and to Natsu's sudden decline in health. The tumor had almost killed him.

"This isn't like before," she promised.

"But what about you, Lucy?"

Happy shivered in her arms. Trepidation hung heavy in the air. Lucy breathed it down despite having no antidote to cure the fear.

Listening to his liberated cries, Lucy felt so ashamed. She'd been so fixated on Natsu she hadn't stopped to think about how recent events might be affecting Happy, too. He'd been holding back for their sake, cracking jokes when all he wanted to do was cry. Lucy snuggled him tight.

"I'm fine, you hear me? We're going to be just fine, Happy."

"I don't want to lose you."

"Not a chance," she said. "You guys are stuck with me forever."

It seemed he wasn't entirely soothed, but Happy's trembling slowed, and Lucy felt him calm in her arms. She held him silently for a moment, letting him relieve these pent up feelings. She should have paid him more attention.

"I love you," Happy whispered, and the words lifted Lucy's spirits until she felt nothing but unadulterated joy. He truly did live up to his namesake.

"Me too," she said. "I love you so much."

* * *

Lucy paced outside Minerva's room.

A private conversation? About what? She'd rehearsed countless possibilities on her way to the inn, but every practiced word vanished at the sight of Minerva's door.

Mustering the courage, Lucy stopped and at least reached for the doorknob. Someone opened the door from within. Minerva poked her head through the gap, a knowing smile on her face—the kind of smile that said, _I've been waiting._

Minerva looked annoyingly radiant first thing in the morning, dark hair static from sleep and yet still polished, her naked eyes glowing with rest. She wore a black kimono robe that fell open at her chest, revealing what looked like a new pendant. Lucy reached instinctively for Aquarius's key at her neck.

Things could have gone so differently.

Lucy's neck hurt. Impressions of Natsu's fingers bruised her delicate skin, leaving reddened marks on her left shoulder. And that damned _bite mark_. It was so _big_.

She wore Natsu's scarf loose around her neck, hoping to conceal the damage. If Natsu really didn't remember what he'd done, she had no reason to bring it up again. No use giving him more nightmares.

Lucy didn't know whether to be embarrassed or angry. Embarrassed that she'd enjoyed the physical closeness, but angry that E.N.D. had been the one to pursue it. That stupid jerk. This was the second time he'd bitten her.

But why would a demon crave physical intimacy?

Minerva stared into the empty hallway. "I see Sting abducted your entourage."

Lucy offered a bashful smile. They'd barely made it into the inn when Sting had snagged Natsu by the shoulder and demanded they go outside for a long walk. And by walk, of course he meant fight. She had no doubt they'd be hearing explosions anytime soon. It was really too early for this.

Minerva's room was more fitting for a palace than an inn. Lilac curtains hung from posts at each corner of the queen sized bed, connected by a sheer canopy that ran the full length of it. The furniture was equally as lavish—all crystal white polish and golden trim. A soft breeze entered through the cracked window.

"Your room is..."

"Excessive," Minerva said.

Lucy gave an awkward shrug. "I was going to say _pretty_."

"It's Sting's doing," she said pointedly. "They treat me like a princess wherever I go. It's quite exhausting."

The door clicked shut behind them and Minerva stepped awkwardly close. She grabbed the scarf at Lucy's neck and pulled it aside.

"He marked you," she said.

Lucy blanched. "What?"

"While I'm sure Natsu has _other_ reasons, demons have only one interest in marking their territory: the hunt." Minerva glowered. "He intends to kill you."

Lucy's entire body seized. "But E.N.D.'s purpose is to kill Zeref."

"And Zeref no longer lives among us," Minerva said. "My apologies. I don't mean to be so forward about this, it's just... Well, it must be the demonic traces in me, but I sensed it the moment we met in the street. Strong magic binds you." Minerva tapped Lucy's chest gently. "But it is entirely one-sided. His magic feeds like a mind devouring wisdom, giving nothing in return."

Lucy's knees buckled. They sat together on the bed, Minerva taking Lucy's hands the way a mother comforts a child. She smiled.

Lucy tilted her gaze to the bed. "I did something bad, I think," she confessed. "When I rewrote E.N.D.'s book, I didn't have time to think about it. I just kept writing. I didn't care about it at the time. I just wanted Natsu to stay alive. To be safe."

"Zeref's magic defied our laws for a reason. Some things should not be tampered with. What you did was selfless, but love won't change the consequences."

"And what are the consequences?"

"Death, most likely," Minerva said bluntly.

Lucy stared at her open palms, defeated, tired. She was wasting time. Time she wouldn't even have if not for Ultear's sacrifice. She gripped Aquarius's key in her fist, tracing the broken shaft with her thumb. Maybe they should forfeit the quest and get some real help. Aquarius could wait until...

"Have you felt sluggish lately?" asked Minerva.

"A little. Natsu screams most of the night, so I haven't gotten much sleep."

"And your magical power, how is it?"

Lucy hadn't really thought about it. She'd had little need of it since their fight in the mountains, and Ultear's power had reversed things completely.

"Fine," she said.

"Black Magic is unforgiving"—Minerva spread her hands—"Zeref cheated death and insulted the gods. He disrupted a balance so fine not even water could slip through. And yet you did, somehow."

Lucy's hands curled into fists on her lap.

"As you know," Minerva continued, "Porlyusica could not cure me entirely, and a portion of my body is still demonic. No matter what you do, fragments of Natsu will remain a monster. It is how he controls these fragments, what he shapes them to be, that determines the outcome."

Lucy sighed. "Natsu deserves to live a human life."

"It isn't Natsu's life I'm concerned about."

"What?"

"That book was a source of Natsu's powers. And since the battle with Zeref, the book is gone. Is that correct?"

"It disappeared," Lucy confirmed.

Minerva smiled sadly. "Lucy, think about it. Without a book, Natsu's seed would simply sit there dormant, like an organ he has no need of."

"What are you..." Realisation dawned on her. "The book's magic is inside me."

"I believe the book's magic fused with your own magical power, and that's the source of your unusual scent. If the demon seed is awakened, that means the power is active again. In a sense, the book has opened within you."

"He's siphoning magic from me."

"And what happens when we run out of magical power?"

Lucy's blood curdled in fear. "We die."

Minerva squeezed Lucy's hands, her eyes shimmering with a sincere concern. Lucy didn't know what to do, what to say. Destiny unraveled the tapestry of their fate at every turn, rolling it out of reach.

"My life feels so banal in comparison," she teased, trying to lighten the mood. "I'm afraid I have nothing interesting to report."

Lucy forced a smile. It seemed strange sitting here with Minerva like this. Fairy Tail showed Lucy what it meant to forgive and grow. They didn't judge people by their past mistakes, by the horrors they'd committed. They allowed _everyone_ the chance to become someone new. Of course, a part of Lucy still feared Minerva after being tortured during the Grand Magic Games. That much would never change.

"You mustn't fret," Minerva said. "Emotional strain can affect your magical power, too. It's not as though you're drinking from the dregs of an old well. As long as you both heed caution, your power should replenish overtime as normal."

Natsu had told Lucy that pain inflicted on E.N.D.'s book caused injury to his body. So far, Natsu hadn't shown _direct_ response to any of Lucy's ailments. Perhaps because she was her own person as well as the source of his power. Lucy's body had not been created to house Natsu's demonic magic. She was simply a vessel for it.

She could rewrite a book over and over again until she got it right, but Lucy's body was no parchment, and her blood no ink. Whatever magic linked them together could not be destroyed or changed so easily. Not with a human life attached to it. Had it been a limb, Lucy would have gladly dismembered herself to save him. But even that seemed too much to hope for now.

Lucy didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "Natsu lives recklessly at the best of times. I'm not sure even I can convince him to forego magic for a while."

"Your situation is rare. Most people who tamper with black magic, especially Zeref's own, would die a gruesome death. You are truly a contradiction to that rule."

Lucy's mind reeled back to her encounter with Hitomi. The goddess had called Lucy a contradiction, as though she existed simply to prove Zeref's point. She hated it so much.

Minerva stood to dress.

Lucy needed to be straight with Natsu. They needed to talk about this honestly, openly. No more lies. No more secrets.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" Minerva asked, expertly lacing the back of her dress. She admired herself in the mirror a long moment, fixing the loose straps of her gown. Little buds of white lace marked the waist of her dress, forming a single rose at the front. It didn't look at all like something Minerva would wear, and yet it seemed made just for her.

Princess indeed.

"Go ahead."

"Are you in love with him?" Minerva asked.

Lucy coughed back a breath. "What? Why does everybody ask me that?"

"Erza once told me that the very essence of magic draws from the power of love," Minerva said. "Perhaps if you taste the pleasures of a _different_ kind of magic, you'll find the answers you seek. Love could be the answer you need."

"To be honest, I tried to tell him how I feel once before," Lucy confessed.

"Ah, the plot thickens."

"I wrote him a letter," she explained. "But I was too afraid to share it with him."

And he'd probably complain about having to read it.

"You should tell him," Minerva said.

"I want to. Really, I do. But the timing never seems right." Lucy caressed the ring on her finger. "Growing up, I always had this idea about romance, about what it should be like. But with Natsu, I don't want fancy dates or sweet talk. I'm happiest just being beside him."

"I do believe you've fallen headfirst."

Lucy pursed her lips. "The words aren't enough."

Minerva laughed at that. "You're a writer. I'm sure you'll think of something outside the ordinary 'I love you'."

"I love you," Lucy whispered, testing the words on her tongue. They felt somehow familiar, yet empty. Devoid of meaning.

Minerva tilted Lucy's chin with a single finger, her gaze bold. "Shall I indulge you a little while?"

Lucy's heart gave a long pang, the kind of flutter it gave Erza when they first met. She was suddenly enamoured, intrigued, and a little scared.

"Indulge me in what?"

"There are other ways to proclaim your love for another. Physical touch can say more than words, given proper use."

Heat crept into Lucy's cheeks. "That's..."

"Though I must warn you, Lucy, once you've tasted the forbidden pleasures of life, I'm afraid you'll never be quite the same. If you wish to take a step with Natsu, you should be prepared for every outcome, and every emotion. The physical pleasures of love can be overwhelming, you know. The taste of another person's body can be addictive, _distracting_."

Lucy's heart rushed with a tempestuous heat, so violent it made even her toes curl. Minerva's face inched closer, her eyes playful.

The door flew open, crashing against the wall with a mighty _crash_. Minerva straightened with the practiced grace of a queen used to performing in public. Her placid expression betrayed Lucy's visible embarrassment. It took Lucy a moment to gather composure.

Natsu charged into the room, fighting Sting's advances with one arm, the other flailing wildly. They scrambled into the room like a pair of toddlers fighting over a toy. In this case, the toy was a single flyer, and both of them snatched it up and waved it madly above their heads.

The boys yelled as one. "Lucy! Minerva!"

Minerva froze, her expression stern again. "What is it, oh brave and noble guild master?"

Natsu shoved Sting out of the way, eager to break the news first. "Lucy! Great news!"

Happy leapfrogged over Natsu's head. Lucy barely caught him as he crashed into her lap, his wings only partly unfurled. "We're joining a tournament!" he said.

"Fairy Tail is going straight to the top rank!" Natsu declared.

"Not if Sabertooth gets there first!" Lector called. He'd sidestepped the chaos and rushed to Minerva's side. She crouched to muss the fur behind his ears.

"Explain yourselves," Mineva said.

Sting and Natsu flinched like two boys caught sneaking out of their room.

"We signed up for a tournament," Sting explained, no longer heated with excitement. "It starts in the summer!"

"You signed up for a tournament?" Minerva raised a brow.

Natsu grimaced. "I thought it would be fun. Aren't you happy, Lucy?"

She sighed. "What is it?"

"It's a series of trials held in the Domus Flau," Sting said. "Two guild members partner up to take on other guilds. The last one standing wins. There are three rounds, with huge numbers dropping every day!"

"And the winner gets a big prize." Natsu waved the flyer above his head. "It's a rare magical item, Lucy. It could be Aquarius."

The thorns in Lucy's chest loosened their grip, falling away one by one. Her heart opened and flowered again, a full bloom of colourful love.

"Let's do it," she said

"Are you sure?" Minerva asked.

Their previous conversation came to mind. "I'm sure. It's only three days."

Minerva scooped Lector into her arms and stood. "And who, pray tell, will take care of our guild in your absence?"

Sting looked ready to bolt. He scratched the back of his head, grinning ear-to-ear, and then backed away slowly. "They'll figure it out. They always do."

"I'm telling Yukino," Minerva threatened.

Sting's eyes widened. "You can't. She'll scold me!"

Minerva raced for the door, a half-finished braid floating behind her. Sting chased after her.

Lucy watched their departure in quiet awe. "They've really changed, huh?"

"I think they're exactly how they're supposed to be," Natsu said.

Lucy smiled. "Yes. I believe you're right."

* * *

After eating a mountain of Minerva's cooking and wobbling their way home, Natsu collapsed on the living room floor, Happy spread beside him. The two were snoring before Lucy could even set down the bag of leftovers she'd carried home.

With a stomach full of food and a mind full of memories, Lucy stepped over them into the adjoining kitchenette. She took her time arranging packages in the fridge. Empty shelves greeted her from the fridge door.

Damn it, Natsu.

"Hey, did you guys drink all the—" Right. They were already asleep. "Nevermind."

She busied herself cleaning the counters, moving from one room to the next. A distraction. She needed to stay distracted. She'd barely finished the bathroom sink and tub when a familiar presence chilled the room. She stood slowly, her back to Zeref as he approached.

This voice wasn't in her head: "I was wrong."

Lucy straightened with forced confidence. "Indulge me."

"I looked Death in the face and laughed, Miss Heartfilia. I thought I could save Natsu and claim the spoils of forbidden magics for myself. I thought I was smarter than them, Lucy. Than the gods."

The way he used her name so casually made Lucy's heart sink with an odd despair. She hadn't even known Zeref, but a part of her felt as though she missed him. As though they were supposed to be good friends. Perhaps Anna's blood made it so.

"So what?" she asked.

"You know it too. My brother should not exist in this time." She felt more words hanging in the air, sharp and bloody, _Or at all._

"The Natsu I know belongs in this time. He belongs in Fairy Tail."

"You're in love with him," Zeref said.

Lucy turned to face him, defiant. Strong. "So what if I am?"

"How fortune. He's lucky to be adored. Monsters scarcely are."

Lucy's skin prickled. "He is _not_ a monster."

"He is as much a monster as I am. Ankhseram curses those who determine the course of life and death. The Wise Mages are a warning to you. If you continue down this path, he will curse you too, and then all will be for nothing. Someone who loves could never live with the curse as I did. Can you sit and watch your friends die one by one, while you remain stagnant?"

"You put me on this path," she told him.

"No. You chose this when you saved him."

He was right. "And I would choose it again."

"If there is a way to break this magic, you might be able to avoid Ankhseram's wrath. But I have devised no such way. The magic was created to be foolproof. Natsu was to be my undoing. I created him this way. That he didn't die is on your head."

"Why are you here?"

"All of this started when I resurrected my brother, Lucy. When you rewrote his book, I sensed your immense love for him. It reminded me that I, too, want Natsu to live."

"You have a funny way of showing it."

"Take heed, Lucy Heartfilia. I will save him at any cost. Even if you have to die."

"I will save him without you."

"Because you love him? That will never be enough. The seal is broken," Zeref told her. "Ultear rewound your time, but the seed has already taken root in his soul. How long before your foolish notions of love get you killed? Put aside your feelings and do the right thing. If I had done the same, Mavis might not have shared my fate."

Zeref vanished and Lucy saw herself in the mirror behind him, saw the ugly truth glaring back at her in scorched red marks. She touched the polished glass, tracing her fingers across the smooth surface. E.N.D.'s power flower liked streams of magma beneath her skin, rivulets of hot magic beating with new life.

She'd been so afraid of the truth that she'd blinded herself. Looking at it now, the marks weren't so sporadic. They did not flow in lines but rather in a hatch of patterns. She leaned over the sink, squinted at the crimson marks underneath. Lucy gasped.

They were words.


	11. Towards Victory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter was fun to write! It made me think of my days as a martial arts instructor! And of course, I couldn’t resist some steamy sparring~

When you lose someone precious, the world doesn't spin. It plummets. And memories of their face rotate in days and weeks, growing fainter with each passing year. If time had a name, Natsu would curse him. Igneel's voice grew distant overtime, and Natsu's yearning for a family, his desire to reunite with his father, only served to grow stronger because of it.

He'd lost Zeref to a cruel and twisted fate. His parents. He'd watched Future Lucy die without ever truly knowing her at all. What right did he have to a family, when all he could do was watch them die? He was beginning to understand Gray a little bit. There was nothing quite so nocuous as the trepidation of holding someone so close they perished in your very arms.

Like all those memories, the good, the bad, days with Lucy blurred out of existence. Their little home flourished with Lucy's dulcet promises and Happy's impish gibes. Natsu intended to cherish the little things from now on. He'd snap every memory into the puzzle of his mind and build on every piece until it formed the perfect picture. Something he could hang permanently in the back of his mind.

Their days in Crocus were just the beginning of this masterpiece.

Happy's voice cleared his worries: "What're you spacing out for, Natsu?"

Stood opposite him, Lucy brandished a quick smile, mischievous and merry. "I think he's afraid to lose," she teased.

Lucy slid into a stance on her end of the mat, hips centred, feet pointed. She learned quickly. But it was in motion—in real time—that she lost her poise, her prowess. Lucy's compunction stopped her from playing dirty, even if it meant assuring defeat. That made her predictable sometimes. It also made her _Lucy_.

Natsu didn't hold back.

Lucy leapt into a swift spin kick, barely missing the tip of his nose. He dipped backwards, pivoting around her, and readied himself for her next attack. She crouched into the landing, clumsy, exhausted. Lucy whirled towards him, driving her elbow into his side. Whip-snap quick. Natsu used his mistake to step into her blind spot. He kicked her hard in the back. Lucy gasped and pitched forward, arms flailing. Natsu caught her wrist and pulled her to safety. Her breath hitched. He tugged her back against his chest, giving her a moment to rest.

"That one hurt," she panted.

"Tired already?"

" _Yes_."

"Too bad," he said.

Lucy flashed a pleasant smile over her shoulder. Paralyzing. Perfect. Natsu forgot himself entirely. Lucy seized this moment to fix her ponytail, smoothing wisps of blonde hair behind her ears. She calmed her breathing. The motions exposed her slender neck, sweat and skin and seduction. Natsu held his breath.

The foggiest of memories surfaced. The taste of warm skin on his lips. The rousing lilt in her voice as she whimpered against him. He only wished the circumstances hadn't been so dire, and that he could muster that same bold courage while awake. He would kiss her again. Right now.

Don't think about biting her. Don't think about biting her. Don't think about—

Damn it.

Natsu's subconscious would be the death of him.

"I thought I had you this time," she said, snapping the elastic around her hair. "That was my best kick yet."

Natsu slid a hand around her stomach and gave it a light push. "You rely too much on your legs. Power comes from the core, Lucy."

She fit so perfectly against him, the half to his whole, the lace to his boots. Had it always been this way? Her soft scent filled him completely. The smell of lavender hopes and vetiver comfort. She was home. Natsu focused his mind.

Not the time!

She tensed under his hand. "I'm using my core, Natsu. I'm using _everything_. That's why I hurt so much."

"This isn't much of a fight," Happy complained.

Natsu kicked her leg backwards, forcing her into a bow stance. He pressed a finger against the small of her back. She straightened.

"Like this," he said. "Point your toes outward. Landing a kick is no good if it costs you your balance. And don't look where you're going to hit me. You might as well put a bullseye on my face and aim for that."

"Get a room, lovebirds~" Happy teased from the sidelines.

Lucy stepped away from him, suddenly shy. "I'll work harder."

They said love is blind, but Natsu had never seen anything as clear as he saw her. It was a little glaring, holding onto feelings so crisp they might cut him marrow-deep and leave him for dead. But this was Lucy. And everything she did, everything she touched, radiated pure, resounding light.

He hated that nightmares brought these feelings to light. The deeper he sank into the shadows, the brighter she shone, until Natsu wanted only to bathe in her existence. It left him sick and scared and shaking.

Summer had arrived much too quickly, giving them less and less time to prepare for the impending tournament. When he didn't train with Lucy, Natsu found time to spar with Sting and Rogue, utilising his full strength as he needed to. They'd all remained in Crocus for the time being, with Yukino assisting the guild from their inn. Minerva remained too, though she seemed vexed by their participation in the tournament and refused to indulge Natsu's curiosities. She'd kicked his ass in a fight, too.

Then again, his mind hadn't been in the fight.

"I'm so sore," Lucy complained.

No more distractions.

Natsu threw her across the room. She twirled on a heel, barely catching herself on the edge of the mat. Skin glistening with sweat, Lucy glowed with progress and pride. In just a short time her muscles had recovered their firmness. She snapped the band of her sports bra and huffed, sweat dribbling between her breasts. She'd removed Aquarius's key for this round.

Time to get serious.

He'd promised to train Lucy harder than she'd ever trained before. He'd promised not to hold back. He'd never withhold strength simply because it was Lucy. Her opponents wouldn't, and that's exactly why she needed preparation. This was about endurance. Nothing more.

He'd make a rival of Lucy yet.

"What're you waiting for, Lucy? I'm all fired up."

"Me? You're the one standing around gawking!"

"Does your tummy hurt?" Happy asked. He'd refereed their matches all morning, though he'd been particularly biased in Lucy's favour. Natsu wondered if they were plotting something.

"I've never felt batter," Natsu said.

Lucy sprang into action. She charged him head on, showing less fatigue than before. Adrenaline was a dangerous thing. Many people craved it, but the drain was detrimental. And that's exactly why he was going to win. She needed to control her breathing if she was going to pass her body's limits.

Almost on reflex, Lucy commenced their fight with a hook kick. She'd gotten into a pattern now and it would be difficult to break it. Her leg snapped for his neck. He caught her right ankle as it neared his face. Lucy grinned. She leapt into the air and hooked her free leg around him. They crashed into the floor. She squeezed her thighs around him, wrestling him to the mat. Natsu stared in mute awe.

"I'd say that's my win," she said.

She'd repeated the patterns on purpose.

"You're so cool, Lucy!" Happy cheered.

She offered her hand. Natsu took it gently, allowing her this moment to shine. They stood together, Lucy rubbing the tension from her legs. Natsu unraveled his scarf and threw his shirt on the ground. His entire body shuddered with untold delights. The glow of victory drained from Lucy's face.

Things were finally getting interesting.

He beckoned with one hand, _Come here_.

Lucy stepped back. "I don't like that look one bit."

Natsu's smile widened to the point it almost _hurt_. "What're you waiting for?"

"I think I've changed my mind," Lucy said.

"Let's fight, Lucy!"

She shrieked as he approached. Natsu rushed in without hesitation, bubbling with newfound energy. She blocked his first punch, barely dodging the second as he followed with a right hook. She ducked out of his way and barreled for his side of the mat.

"Happy, tell him to—" Lucy blanched. "How are you asleep right now?!"

They traded blow for blow until Lucy's arms reddened and bruised with every successful guard. She faltered, and Natsu struck her midriff. She spluttered and dropped to one knee.

"Lucy?!" Natsu's lust for a fight screeched to a mortifying halt. "Lucy, are you okay?"

Memories of _that night_ haunted Natsu. He remembered grappling with her on the living room floor, barely himself, barely not. He remembered hurting Happy. Neither of them spoke of it, but he sensed a growing fear within them. He remembered it all so vividly—the taste of her skin on his lips. Insidiously addictive. She must remember it too.

_Damn it._

Lucy dragged him onto the mat, rolling them over with practiced ease. She straddled him with a playful smile. "Got you."

"You..." _She'd faked injury?_

"You said not to get distracted. You should take your own advice, Natsu."

Natsu's heart thundered in his chest. She wiped more sweat from her brow, her eyes dazzlingly bright. He swam in their warmth, drowning deeper with every breath. He could've moved her easily. He should have. But Natsu couldn't find the strength. His gaze roamed her flushed skin, watched beads of sweat trickle down her toned stomach. Her chest rose with every breath. She looked so strong. So...

Unfamiliar flames burned in his stomach, blue and beating. Natsu pulled her against him. She gasped, falling flat on his chest. He rolled them over, both hands on either side of her face, his knees squat against her waist. Lucy's breathing laboured.

"Who said anything about being distracted?" he said.

"Point made."

Lucy didn't make a move. She gazed hard into his eyes, drawing his weaknesses to light. Natsu couldn't take much more of this. These amplified feelings would kill him long before Zeref's magic did.

"Why are you holding back?" he asked her.

_Hypocrite._

Lucy's gaze darted away, searching for more lies. "I'm not."

"Yes. You are."

She chewed her lip. "I don't want to waste magical power on you. I'm going to need it for the fight, you know."

"Are you worried you'll hurt me?" he taunted.

Something akin to a yes flickered in Lucy's eyes. But she wasn't worried about physically hurting him, he realised. This was about...

"Are you afraid of me?"

Of course she was. He'd tried to kill her.

Lucy recoiled as though his words punctured every living organ in her body. She glanced away, focusing on the barren walls of their living room. They'd moved a lot of furniture to make room for their session.

"How could I ever be afraid of you?" she asked.

Natsu leaned closer. She turned at the motion, her nose a hair's breadth from his own. He inched closer, drawn in by her open gaze. She was telling the truth. Her hands moved to his chest, warm, gentle, accepting. To his surprise, her eyes fluttered closed, trusting, expectant.

This was different.

Lucy wasn't kicking and screaming. She wasn't protesting or rejecting him with embarrassment. A spark of something hot and dangerous crackled in the air between them. His eyes flickered to her neck. Flashes of memories that weren't quite his own appeared like ghosts in his mind. He remembered exactly where the bite mark had been.

Just one taste...

Natsu brushed his lips against her neck, purposeful, but with enough grace that she might think it an accident. He lingered at her ear.

"Then fight me for real," he whispered.

Natsu leapt to his feet, leaving Lucy a trembling mess on the mats. She covered her face and groaned. He turned away, his face beating hot.

That was way too close.

* * *

The Domus Flau was more impressive with each renovation. Framed stone plaques detailed recent tournament winners, rows of statues decorating the ashlar walls between every column, faces of mages and kings long past. The gazes of great men and women followed Natsu into the western porticus, where lines of mages gathered to determine their fates.

The first round commenced at noon: of the sixty contestants, only thirty would remain. A battle royale, they called it. Natsu could hardly wait.

He slowed by a figure of three heads. Two brothers and a sister, their marble expressions filled with sorrow. The woman's eyes were closed. Something about it set his heart on edge. Why did she look so familiar?

"So how long are you going to hide it?" Sting asked.

He'd almost forgotten about the others. Rogue and Sting followed Natsu through the tunneling colonnade, their exceed companions close behind. Happy insisted on staying with Lucy. They'd been glued to each other since Natsu's night of shame.

The summer heat pressed in around Natsu like gloves clinging to his skin. Even for him, the air was stiflingly hot. Adjusting the scarf around his head, Natsu rebuffed Sting's curiosity with a simple: "Hide what?"

"Look, I'm not trying to pry—"

"You are," Rogue put in.

Frosch appeared on his shoulder. "Fro thinks so too."

"Hey, I just want Natsu to be happy," Sting argued.

"We all do. But this isn't something you can decide."

Sting rolled his eyes. "Doesn't it bother you, seeing him all goo-goo eyed?"

"Of course it does. But this isn't about us. Stay out of it, Sting."

Irked at being talked about like he wasn't there, Natsu pushed through the crowd and approached the board of rules. Sixty people. This was going to be an epic battle.

"Looks like it's a free-for-all," Natsu said.

Sting grinned. "Then you'd better not get in my way, Natsu!"

"I'm still not sure this is a good idea. The last time..." Rogue hesitated.

"This won't be like last time," Natsu promised.

Rogue had every right to be worried. After all, he'd stared into the broken eyes of his future self and lived to tell the tale. He knew what could go wrong. But here he was, the same old Rogue, with Frosch ever at his side. Everything was as it should be.

Sting clapped a hand on Natsu's shoulder. "You know, Natsu, a tournament is a great place to confess your—"

Rogue punched Sting in the back.

"Hey! You can't punch your guild master!" Sting grouched.

"I can when he's an idiot."

Natsu stifled a laugh. Seeing Rogue and Sting banter reminded him of Gray. No matter how often they butted heads, Natsu cared about Gray. It was because he trusted him so implicitly that they could bicker like that. It's just what friends did. Of course, Natsu's feelings for each Fairy Tail member were special in their own right. He admired Erza's discipline, Lisanna's kindness, Lucy's...

Everything.

His heart gave a traitorous leap. So maybe he valued just one member ever so slightly more than the others. But it wasn't like he'd choose Lucy so easily over everyone else. She just...

She made him feel so differently. So vibrantly. As though the world had been mute all this time and her smile revealed Fiore's true colours.

 _Open your eyes, son of Igneel_ , a voice whispered.

Natsu blanched. What the hell was that?

"See! He's doing it again!"

"Just leave him be," Rogue said.

"You're such a caring master," Lector praised.

"See, Lector gets it."

They doubled back, emerging into fresh, clean air. Natsu sucked in a long breath. He spotted Lucy across the arena, gathered in the lower cavea. She sat talking with Yukino, her blonde hair tucked into a short braid. She smiled when she saw him coming.

"Why _are_ you holding back?" Sting asked suddenly.

Natsu stopped walking. "Why do you care?"

"Enough," Rogue warned.

"Sting is worried about his friend," Lector snapped.

"I'm not holding back," Natsu said. "Lucy deserves more than I can give her. She's always reading those huge books and imagining her future, and I can't be what she needs me to be."

His future was uncertain. Natsu couldn't offer Lucy a _maybe_. Not when she deserved an assured forever.

"That was remarkably honest," Rogue said.

"Fro agrees!"

"Who are you to decide what she deserves?" Sting said. Natsu flinched. "What if you're the future she wants? You're just making excuses."

Natsu's excuses were all he had. The only bridge standing between Lucy and the icy depths of a raging abyss. He couldn't take that step forward, not when the path remained so unclear. What if she crossed to meet him and the bridge collapsed? How could he ever hope to save her from those deep, dark waters underneath?

He couldn't even save himself.

"Whatever's going on with you, Natsu, you should figure it out. After everything you've been through, do you really believe she's going to shun your feelings? And if she does, who cares? This is _Lucy_. Don't you think you owe it to yourself to be honest with her?"

"They're coming this way," Rogue said.

Lucy approached on Yukino's arm, a stone-faced Minerva close behind them. She'd become Lucy's shadow in recent days. Natsu couldn't tell whether the girls were bonding or playing some kind of weird game.

Natsu clenched a fist. "After," he said.

Sting and Rogue shared a soft look.

"When the tournament is over, I'll tell Lucy how I really feel."

He might not have forever, but even a day would feel like an eternity with Lucy beside him. She was his future.

His forever.

* * *

Crowds gathered in the cavea, filling seats with eager faces. The midday sun beat heavy on the stone arena, wrapping the sixty contestants in layers of merciless heat. Natsu stood at the edge of the participating guilds, Lucy quiet beside him. He timed his breathing with hers, shook free any stray thoughts, any last regrets. Distractions weren't welcome now. Not until they'd won this thing.

Members of the audience cheered as they recognised guild members and friends. Lucy scanned the faces, her gaze calm, studious. Natsu fidgeted beside her, itching to make his mark, anxious about what might come after.

Sting's words had rattled him.

"Let's win this thing, Lucy," he said.

She nodded a cool agreement.

Happy waved from the eastern stands, Lector and Frosch cheering beside him. Yukino and Minerva sat in the row behind. Natsu caught Sting waving frantically to his guild members. Yukino flushed and offered a shy wave back. In spite herself, Minerva cracked a brief smile.

The judges were called to the stands. Natsu's heart gave a long, excited leap. Was he seeing things? No, that had to be... A familiar mess of disheveled orange hair ascended the stone steps. Gildarts noticed Natsu and stopped a few paces behind the three judges. He flashed a toothy grin and gave the two a huge thumbs up.

"No way," Natsu breathed.

Lucy giggled. "Is there anything Gildarts _doesn't_ do?"

"Crap. Now I'm nervous," Natsu said.

Lucy side-eyed him. "Really?"

"What if the victor gets to fight Gildarts?" Natsu hopped from one foot to the next. "We have to win, Lucy!"

"Somehow I doubt that's the case," Lucy whispered.

She was probably right. But having Gildarts so close, seeing him there in the stand, changed everything. This wasn't about victory anymore. It was about pulverizing the competition and showing Gildarts just how strong he'd become.

"When this is over, let's stop and chat with him," Lucy said.

Natsu grinned. "I'm all fired up!"

The guilds were divided on each side of the arena, Natsu's group positioned to the east. The rules were read in a tedious fashion, and then the arena rumbled to life, walls and pillars erupting from the firm ground. The colossal maze formed shadows so great they consumed everything but the rising sun.

"The first battle is about to begin," the announcer declared. "Your goal is simple: Team members must make their way to the centre of the maze while preventing their opponents from doing the same. Only thirty of you can prevail. Once the quota is met, the losing teams will be evicted with magic. The walls are impenetrable, so you'll have to use your wits as well as your skills. And remember, _both_ guild members must succeed in order to progress into the next round!"

Natsu's skin prickled with excitement. He grabbed Lucy's hand and squeezed, her own eagerness passing through him. In that moment there was only the two of them and _victory_.

Separating the contestants was a smart move. Many of them would lose before they even entered the maze, with thirty people on either side scrambling to be first. They'd fancy their odds in a fight this way. Natsu wouldn't fall into the trap.

"May the first round of the _Summer_ _Games_ begin!"

A horn blared and Natsu hefted Lucy into his arms, leaping over the heads of a pursuing team. A blast of flames shot them into the sky and over the lower wall into the maze. He dropped into a crouch and set her down in the cold shadows.

"Wow, did you just avoid a fight?" Lucy asked.

Natsu laughed. "There's plenty of time to fight."

"I'm impressed."

"Stay close, Lucy. We shouldn't separate."

"That would be a shame," a voice whispered.

Shadowy hands pulled Lucy from sight, leaving nothing but the faintest echo of her surprised voice.

Clad in all white, a single mage appeared in the darkness, black hair slicked back into a ponytail, heterochromic eyes glowing a fierce black and red.

"What did you do with Lucy?" Natsu yelled.

"I wonder," he said. "Will you waste time trying to find her? I hear you're quite good at that."

Natsu grimaced. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Wherever she was, he couldn't worry about Lucy right now. She would find her way back to him. She always did.

"You picking a fight?" Natsu said. "Bring it on."

"Apologies. My partner is the combatant among us."

A second figure rose from the shadows like a quill dipped in ink. He lunged at Natsu with brute force, blonde hair tamed in a manner akin to Sting's. Did he just _pass through the floor_? Wasn't that against the rules? Didn't magic prevent this kind of thing from happening within the maze?

Natsu hopped back, flames bursting through clenched fists.

The larger man stared with unwavering eyes. He pulled red stitches from his mouth, blood spitting with his words. Natsu's mind flashed back to his nightmare of Lucy, thread woven through her chest, her heart black and dead.

"This him?" the man asked.

"Takuya, meet Natsu Dragneel. Fairy Tail's pride and joy," Yasu said.

"Pride _and_ joy? That's a lot to live up to."

"Indeed."

"Are you two gonna keep talking like I'm not here?" Natsu snarled. "Just who the hell are you guys?"

Takuya rapped his huge chest. "We are Titan Soul, chosen by the gods themselves. You have been marked by Ankhseram, brother of Zeref."

Natsu's blood ran cold.

"Good luck finding your partner, Fairy Tail wizard," Yasu said. It was as clear a threat as any Natsu had heard before. "It'd be a shame if you lost so soon."

Damn it. Why were guilds always picking fights with Fairy Tail?

They vanished again—two shadows scattered within darkness. Lost.

"Hey, get back here!" Natsu yelled, punching air.

Footsteps bounded into the maze behind him. He had to find Lucy. Quickly. They couldn't win if only one of them made it. Natsu followed her scent deeper into the maze. It didn't make sense. Whenever he got close, Lucy's scent vanished.

"Natsu?" It was Rogue.

"Where's Lucy?" Sting asked.

They didn't intend to fight, he realised. They were saving the best for last. Natsu couldn't wait to beat them in the finals.

"I lost her," he said.

"What happened? I thought you came in together?" Sting asked.

"I saw her not too long ago," Rogue said. "She was headed that way."

Rogue pointed to a passage on their left.

Natsu couldn't rely on his senses to find her. He needed something else. Something stronger. Natsu placed a hand over his chest.

More footsteps echoed into the surrounding passageways.

"We'll take care of the stragglers," Sting said.

"Find Lucy. And then win, so we can fight again," Rogue added.

Natsu raced into the adjoining corridor, following the path until he reached a fork in the walls. Left or right. Which way should he—

Loke manifested in a whorl of lights. Natsu tipped back in surprise, his eyes wide.

"Yo, Natsu. Been a while."

"Why are you here?"

Loke's expression darkened. "Lucy sent me to find you."

Why would Lucy send Loke to find him? Wasn't he supposed to find _her_?

"I need her if we're going to win," Natsu said.

"Are you asking to form a team with me, Natsu?" Loke grinned. "I'm flattered."

"Let's do this."

Hot on Loke's trail, Natsu followed along the right-most path, meandering through arched walls and over great holes in the floor. They leapt into a round room and stopped. Passages spread like sunbeams in every direction. Lucy turned to face them from the northern corridor, a vision of strength. She grinned.

"Took you long enough," she said. "Come on, I found the right way to go."

Loke grabbed Natsu's shoulder. "That isn't Lucy."

Natsu's body erupted in flames. "Then we'll just have to take her down."

"I'm right there with you."

Natsu leapt for the impostor, flaming fist beating hard against her stomach. She staggered back in surprise.

"Why are you..." Lucy dropped to one knee. "Ugh. It hurts."

"Don't listen to her," Loke said.

The room tilted, throwing them into a nearby passageway. Natsu crashed into the wall hard. Lucy landed on his chest.

"Ow, that hurts," she whined.

"Lucy?"

Loke's magic pulsed from the circular room, light burning with great heat. Natsu rolled them out of harm's way.

"Lucy, I'm so sorry!" he gasped.

The woman in his arms went limp, replaced by Future Lucy's dead body. Natsu shoved her aside in stark horror.

"What the hell is this?" he snapped.

Loke grinned. "Your fears were terribly easy to manipulate. I sensed you the moment you stepped into this arena. You are Zeref's blood."

Natsu stared unblinking. "I am Natsu Dragneel, son of Igneel," he said.

"Son of Igneel," Loke mocked. "All this time you thought you were trying to find her, but she was never truly gone at all. So quick to panic when you think she's in danger. I wonder what would happen if she disappeared forever."

"You bastard! Who are you!"

Natsu's own face stared back at him, serpentine gaze dark and vengeful. Cracked scales shimmered in the light of his flames.

"I know everything about you, Natsu Dragneel. One glance and I saw into your soul. Into your past. Your future. You hate yourself so much, but you convince yourself that Zeref is to blame. The only monster you fear is the one in the mirror," the demon said. "You're so afraid. So vulnerable. You know your time is fleeting, yet you push away the thing you crave the most."

Natsu punched the demon square in the face, flames and fears bursting into darkness. Shadows slivered all around him. Future Lucy. Igneel. Zeref. His parents. Ultear. They stared at him with bloody eyes.

Titan Soul's Yasu stood among the shadowy faces of Natsu's regrets. So many people he could've saved. People he didn't even know but loved tremendously. The room chilled. Something nagged in the back of his mind.

_'The Seeress Hitomi, Yasu the Observer, Takuya the Truthsayer.'_

Great thorns protruded from Yasu's ears, deafening him. Fresh blood spilled down his neck and shoulders, oozing into the white folds of his uniform. He looked ethereal in his white robes. Takuya stood silently behind him, his lips sewn shut, his eyes weeping.

Images of Lucy manifested in the crystalline walls of the maze. She held a bundled child in her arms, cooing softly, her hair long and beautiful. Natsu touched the wall gently.

"What would you give for her?"

"Everything," Natsu whispered.

Yasu smiled. "Cherish her. Your bond will light the way."

"Natsu!"

"Go," Yasu said. "She calls to you. I have said all I needed to say."

Takuya nodded.

"May the gods be on your side, Natsu Dragneel," Yasu whispered. "You're going to need them soon."

Natsu turned to find Lucy racing through a nearby passage. She leapt into his arms, tears streaking down her cheeks.

"You took off without a word! I was so worried!" Lucy blinked. "Hey, isn't this..."

Natsu turned towards the circular room. Lacrima hummed with astounding light on each wall, signalling the success of their first task. They'd reached the centre.

They'd won? Why did he feel so deflated? Yasu's words left holes in Natsu he couldn't fill. Why did it feel less like a warning and more like a...

Goodbye?

"Thank you, Lucy."

"For what? All I did was run after you."

For existing. "For being you," he said.

She beamed at him. "Did you hit your head or something?"

"Forget it."

"No way. I'll remember it forever."

"I'm sorry I left you all alone."

"I wasn't alone," she said. "No matter where you go, you're always with me."

_Cherish her._

Natsu took her hand. "Lucy..."

"Now let's go."

They stepped forward together—to victory.


	12. The Perfect Team

Lucy held perfectly still.

Natsu followed the marks on her face with his fingertip, tracing the words under her skin, squinting as though will alone might help him read them. He'd woken again from another nightmare, his body dripping sweat, his eyes wild in a frenzy. He'd taken one look at her face and fallen into a weird trance. He traced her cheeks now like a pirate reading his map for treasure. Lucy's head moved with his hands.

"This is really awkward," she said.

"You look scary, Lucy," Happy murmured. "Does it hurt?"

Lucy scooped him into her lap. "No. It doesn't hurt."

Not right now, anyway.

They sat together on the bed, early morning darkness peeling on the floorboards, the faintest sliver of moonlight on the window ledge. Lucy shifted uncomfortably.

"So this is my power, huh?" Natsu said.

"Don't say it like that," she protested. "Your power was given to you by Igneel. This is just, well, you know."

Natsu smiled. "I'm sorry, Lucy. This looks uncomfortable."

"Don't be sorry."

It was strange to hear him talking about this so freely. It was like he'd suddenly taken responsibility for her ailments. He talked about E.N.D., about himself, in such a way that it seemed _normal_ for these things to be happening.

After their fight the previous day, Natsu hadn't mentioned Gildarts once, instead going on and on about the future he wanted to protect. Just which future was he talking about, anyway? His own? He'd sure waited long enough to care about _that_.

"Hey, do you think I cherish you?" he asked sleepily.

Lucy's face beat red. She winced, the marks thickening under her skin like veins pumping lifeblood.

"I cherish you, Lucy," Happy said.

Lucy couldn't help but smile. "I cherish you, too."

Natsu stared at her, expectant.

Lucy sighed. "Yes. Yes, I think you cherish me. Why are you being so weird? Just what did you dream about, anyway?"

"Then why did he say..." Natsu released her face. "Listen, Lucy. I'm going to protect you no matter what. You don't have to worry about a thing."

The warmth in her face expanded, creeping slowly into the rest of her body. "What's gotten into you, Natsu? Go back to sleep. We have another game today."

"I didn't even get to play the last one," he complained.

"You disappeared for a long time," Happy said.

According to Minerva and the others, Natsu had vanished completely, as though he'd never been in the maze at all. And yet, Lucy had found him standing at the goal without a scratch. The announcer put it down to the maze's runes.

Lucy had a feeling it was more than that, though.

"There's something you're not telling me," she said.

"Like what? I just wanted to talk with you, is all."

Lucy leapt off the bed and threw back the curtains, allowing the stars a glimpse into their quiet home. She turned to him in the pale light.

"We might as well stay up since you're _so eager_ to chat," she said.

She saw in his eyes a momentary flicker of panic. He'd said too much, he realised, and now she was going to get the truth no matter what. Because they were past the secrets and the lies.

"So are you going to fill me in?"

"Yeah, Natsu, what happened during the game?" Happy asked.

Natsu patted the bed. Lucy sat cross-legged in front of him, Happy returning to his place on her lap. And then they stared. Hard. Natsu shrank under their combined gaze.

"Does Titan Soul mean anything to you?" he asked.

Pinpricks stuck Lucy so hard she balked. "Where did you hear that name?"

"In the maze. I was attacked by members of the guild."

Lucy echoed a nervous laugh. "I'm sorry, what? Titan Soul hasn't been around since the council of guilds first formed. They were one of the very first guilds ever made. Their members were so strong they're revered in scrolls as being gods. You can't possibly have..." _The Holy Mages._ "You met them, didn't you? What did they say?"

"To cherish you," he said coolly.

"That's..." Odd? Nice? Lucy sighed. "Did they say _why_?"

"I didn't really have the time to ask. I thought I was with Loke."

"Loke? Wait, nevermind, did they say anything else?"

"They showed me what I'm afraid to lose," Natsu said.

Whatever he'd seen in the maze, recalling it now brought a smile to Natsu's face. She wanted to see that smile for the rest of her life.

Lucy played with the ring on her finger. "Hitomi said the curse can't be undone. Zeref wanted to die so badly he made you his most powerful enemy, Natsu. Maybe your connection wasn't to punish you. He knew that, once he died, there'd be nobody around to defeat you. In his own way, maybe he was trying to protect the living from what he'd done. If the Holy Mages guide the natural order of magic, that means there's something wrong with us."

"I thought we'd established that," Natsu said.

"No, no. I mean _yes_. But no. It means that things have changed. Think about it, if Zeref's plans would right his wrongs and restore the balance of magic..."

"We screwed up?" Natsu offered.

Lucy smacked his shoulder. "It means there's a chance for us. There's a way to change this for good. For them to be intervening now means they need us to try."

"Do you really think so?" Happy said.

"I spent so long turning a blind eye that I didn't notice what was right in front of me," she said.

"See no evil," Natsu said.

"Something like that." Lucy spread her hands. "I don't think your nightmares are meant to punish you, Natsu. Dreams are how we deal with things in our subconscious. There must be something you're missing."

He didn't seem all too eager to explore the darkest depths of his mind, but a glimmer of understanding graced his tired eyes. They had to face their demons head on if they were going to unravel the truth of E.N.D.'s magic. Without Zeref to explain things, Natsu was their only clue. It was his body, after all. There had to be _something_.

"You know, you're really smart, Lucy," Natsu said.

Lucy simpered. "I wish I was smarter. Maybe I'd have figured this out by now."

"Don't say that, Lucy. You're plenty smart," Happy said.

"He's right. What would we do without you?" Natsu agreed.

"Okay, now you're being _too_ nice."

"I mean it," Natsu said. "You're like a sunrise, Lucy. Without you there would be no dawn."

Was he saying he needed her? Lucy's heart drummed a bashful beat in her chest. Whatever happened in that maze had changed him. He was an open book now. Honest. Lucy saw more of his soul in the dim moonlight than she'd ever seen before.

Happy yawned loudly in Lucy's lap. The three of them laughed, barely aware of time ticking by. Lucy snuggled Happy close and flopped onto her side, kicking her legs under the blankets. He nuzzled closer. Natsu collapsed behind her, pulling them both against him.

Lucy closed her eyes to darkness.

Zeref sat on the cold floor of her dreams. All around them stars winked from black walls, a crescent moon smiling from its perch in the open sky. Zeref beckoned her closer, but Lucy stood transfixed.

"You're running out of time," he said pointedly.

"I'm doing the best I can."

"Nothing?"

Lucy flinched. She hated how right he was. They were committing sins by ignoring Natsu's transgressions. How many more times would he wake screaming in the night, not himself, until he never changed back?

"I don't know what to do," she said. "You come here with your cryptic threats and never give me any answers! Just who are you, anyway? A ghost? A demon? Are you here to distract me? You said you want to save Natsu, so why are you getting in my way."

"You're being too careful. My brother is no fragile creature. If you're going to defeat him, you must be strong, not smart. Your brains will do you no good when they're splattered on the walls of your little home."

Lucy shivered. "Natsu would never..."

"Hurt you? He already did. He might kill you next time."

Lucy's neck twinged where he'd bitten her. She sat opposite Zeref, oddly at ease in this dark space. She wasn't used to him being so forthcoming.

"I have to be careful," she said. "Risking my life would put Natsu in danger."

Zeref's laugh mirrored the joyful melody of Natsu's own. For a moment, Lucy could actually picture them as brothers. They could have been good friends. Once.

"Don't flatter yourself," he said, abandoning his innocent guise. "Should you die, Natsu won't perish with you. You're really not that important."

The puzzle she'd pieced together had suddenly been torn apart, the corners ripped off, the connecting points jagged and unmatched. That didn't make any sense. She knew they were connected. She'd felt it every time E.N.D. resurfaced. That impossible heat and the churning sickness that came with it.

It was unmistakable.

Zeref glowered. "Think of yourself as an anchor."

Lucy really wished she'd wake up from this nightmare. She didn't want to be here anymore, sitting across from evil in a dark, cold room while hope slipped through icy fingers.

"If you die, the anchor lifts, and Natsu is free to sail the open seas of his own wrath. You're nothing more than a safeguard. A way to stop him losing control. His power lives within you, but you are too weak to contain it. Your body is no book. You cannot possibly ascertain how strong his power is."

Lucy grit her teeth. "Then help me!"

"Should you die, he'll become who he was meant to be all along. Though a sailor with no compass is destined to lose his way. His purpose was to destroy me. And without me, he has nothing left to live for. If you die, he will simply fall to madness, and your friends will wish they'd killed him years ago."

"No! He has _everything_ to live for." And just like that the brotherly love she'd sensed earlier vanished. "How can you say that about your own brother?"

And then it hit.

"Wait," she said. "Before, Minerva said Natsu is siphoning magic from me."

"He's linked to your magic," Zeref affirmed. "Your body, your life, it is of no consequence to Natsu. That is why he shares none of your physical ailments. When you transferred his life to yours, you gave his magic time to replenish. To thrive. You are simply a layer of sand in his raging ocean. One day, his power will cast you out like pebbles on the beach. As long as magic flows through your veins, the demon seed takes root, and his power feeds. Grows. You have two options now: expunge your magic, or feed the demon until he tears you apart."

"So I'll keep using my magic. I'll use it up until I'm so weak he has nothing to feed on."

"Think of him as a poison in your blood. His power won't simply run out or weaken if you bleed. When a man is bitten by snakes you must drain every last drop of the poison to save his life."

"But if his magic is completely immersed within mine..."

"Yes. You would need to expel all of it at one time. If you wish to see my brother lead a human life, you must be willing to die for that future. There is no way to separate the magic from your body without forfeiting your own life. No mage alive can replenish magic quickly enough to subsidise losing _everything_ at once. E.N.D.'s book was indestructible. But you are the farthest from it. You are his only hope."

Cana's voice rang in the back of her mind: _'I see nothing.'_

Lucy's glass wasn't half full or half empty. It was completely shattered. She stared at the crumbling pieces, sharp and sprinkling soft light. She'd promised Ultear that she'd be happy. So why...

"I'll find a way," she said.

Zeref smiled, a single tear rolling down his cheek. "Lucy Heartfilia, I'm entrusting my brother to you. The Holy Mages did what they had to do to restore the balance of magic. Will you do the same?"

"What is it that you want, really?"

The Zeref sitting across from her now was no more than a boy. He studied Lucy with wide, youthful eyes. Innocent.

"Forgiveness," he whispered.

* * *

Lucy stepped into the empty Domus Flau. With no games scheduled until later, only the morning sunlight sat in the surrounding cavea, light twinkling as if in quiet applause of the arena's great size. Pillars of immense size and girth waved shadows like banners into the cool morning air. The breeze was a welcomed relief from the recent summer heat.

Lucy climbed over the top row to admire the view of Crocus far below. The city truly was beautiful. Seeing the fountains reminded her of Natsu's apology. All this time she'd held onto his letter like a eulogy to her grief, where now it felt more like a sonnet. It was a reminder of their bond. Unbreakable, even apart.

Natsu sat with Happy in the lower rows, discussing battle tactics and, from what she'd gathered, some kind of fishing technique. Their conversations were as flighty as ever. Lucy smiled to herself, but the moment was short-lived. Was it even worth finding Aquarius now? Wasn't it cruel to reunite if her destiny was to die?

No. Lucy had to find reasons to keep living. Every new goal gave her reason to continue this onerous race against time.

_Thunk._

"What was that?"

Plue rolled into Lucy's feet. She picked up her boot, barely hopping over his curled form. He spread out by the empty seats, wriggling in what Lucy could only assume was excitement.

"How did you get here?" she asked.

He turned his nose towards her and mewled.

Lucy snatched Plue into her arms and squealed. "It doesn't matter. You're so cute!"

"If they can come and go like that, is there really any need for your keys?" Natsu asked.

He joined her on the top row, Happy floating curiously behind. They watched Lucy fuss over Plue like toddlers annoyed at the attention a new baby received.

"Of course there's a point! Without my keys, I'd never get to form new contracts."

They'd arrived at the arena early, with Natsu hoping to glimpse another peek at Gildarts before the crowds poured in. He was really kicking himself about the day before, she knew. He wanted to show off. She sensed his disappointment, but there was something else brooding in those watchful eyes. His mind wasn't totally on the fight.

"Doesn't it drain your magic?" Natsu asked suddenly.

Lucy's blood ran cold. The briefest mention of magic set her heart on edge. She scratched Plue's chin and smiled thoughtfully.

"Yes. Usually. Though, in cases like the S-Class exam, the Spirit King makes exceptions. Loke is both a spirit _and_ our guild mate."

"So isn't it bad for Plue to be out like this?"

Lucy stared at him. "Are you worried about me?"

Natsu visibly blushed. "Not really."

Lucy grinned. "I'll be fine. Plue doesn't use up a lot of magical power. Besides, doesn't he make the cutest little mascot?"

"I thought _I_ was your mascot?" Happy griped.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Of course. _You're_ the cutest mascot."

Plue soured. She rocked him gently in her arms, soothing the dismay. He nuzzled against her in quiet contentment.

"He's just a little snuggly baby," she cooed.

"A baby..." Natsu mumbled.

He stared at Plue with an almost quizzical expression, brows knitted, eyes lidded in heavy thought. A faint dusting of pink clouded his tanned skin.

"Are you okay, Natsu? Do you feel sick?" Happy asked.

Natsu started. "What?"

"You made a weird face just now," Lucy said.

He rubbed the back of his head and grinned. "Did I?"

"What were you thinking about just now?"

"The twins," he said honestly.

Lucy smiled to herself. "Levy's family just got a whole lot bigger, huh? I think I'm a little jealous. Though, having twins sounds exhausting. And I'm not ready for my belly to swell up so big."

"Her belly was _huge_ ," Happy recalled.

Lucy set Plue on the ground, watching for changes in Natsu's expression. He still looked oddly at war with himself—a mixture of happy and sad and thoughtful. All this talk of families left her longing for home.

"Lucy, do you remember when you asked me if I ever thought about the future?" he asked.

Lucy met his gaze. "You said you had everything you needed right now."

"I did. I do."

"Do you want something yummy to eat? Because I could really go for some salmon," Happy said.

"You did?" Lucy pressed.

"I've been thinking about..."

Whatever he'd wanted to say noticeably vanished when he spotted Yukino ascending the stone steps nearby. Minerva trailed close behind her, smiling amidst what looked to be a pleasant conversation. The two girls waved when they noticed Lucy. Minerva looked particularly radiant today, her hair scraped up into buns, golden ribbons fluttering down her back, long as her hair. Yukino glowed in her white gown and silver shawl.

Lucy couldn't remember the last time she'd dressed up so nicely.

"Good morning!" Yukino sang.

"You're early too, huh?" Lucy said.

"Sting insisted on getting some morning training in."

"They were..." Minerva grimaced. "Loud."

"Are you nervous for the battle?" Yukino asked.

Natsu snorted. "Never."

"Sting said he wouldn't take it easy on you today, Lucy," she added.

Lucy barely stifled a laugh. "We look forward to it. I know Natsu is eager to fight Sting head on."

"We'll be rooting for you," Yukino said. "But don't tell Sting; he'll get a little jealous."

It didn't take long for spectators to gather in the surrounding seats, with guild members of all strengths and stature gathering on the arena floor. Lucy joined Natsu at the centre of the crowd. Gildarts was the final judge to reach his seat. His gaze found Natsu in an instant. The two grinned at each other like long lost brothers.

At least they weren't punching each other.

"Today's battle will reduce your numbers from thirty to twelve," the announcer said. "Contestants will be divided into three groups, with only four of each progressing to the final round. That's two teams from each round."

The groups were determined by random selection, with Fairy Tail entering the first batch. The remaining groups were escorted off the grounds. Sting mouthed a quick _good luck_ on his way into the porticus.

"There will be three rounds, one game for each group. This challenge is a test of trust and teamwork. For the sake of today's game, only one member of each team will participate in the battle."

"Only one of us?" Lucy whispered.

Natsu slid an arm around her waist, pulling her closer. "Don't worry, Lucy. You don't have to fight if you don't want to."

"You're just saying that because _you_ want to fight."

Not that she was complaining.

"Five of you from each group will be randomly selected to fight," the announcer explained. "While the other five guide you from the barriers we have placed around the arena. Spectating teammates are not to interfere with the challenge. Your role is to communicate direction, nothing further. For the manner of this game, we have imbued the arena with special runes that will allow teammates to communicate telepathically. Once the game ends, these unique connections will terminate."

"So five of us will be sitting out?" Lucy asked under her breath.

Vibrations rocked the Domus Flau, the remaining ten contestants raised on columns fifty paces high. A labyrinth of stone paths spread before them, varying gaps and obstacles between each one.

"Oh, and here's the catch!" the announcer yelled. The audience leaned forward expectantly. "Today's fighters will be magically _blindfolded_."

Lucy's stomach dropped so hard it left a steaming hole in the hard earth. When the announcer called her name in the ballot, the hole grew wider, and Lucy seriously considered throwing herself into the deep, dark depths of her despair.

Shimmering crystal walls rose between Lucy and Natsu, surrounding him in a translucent cage. Four others were surrounded in these same barriers. Lucy pressed her hands to the glassine surface, feeling suddenly alone in the busy arena.

"Why me?" she moaned.

"Don't worry, Lucy." Natsu placed his hand near hers. "There's no way we'll lose. We're the perfect team."

"Your task is simple!" the announcer called. "Arrive at one of the two platforms in the centre of the arena to win the challenge. Participants who fall or are defeated in battle will be transported to the waiting rooms with the remaining groups."

Darkness clouded Lucy's vision. She slowed her breathing, calming the trepidation cooling her veins. She had to stay focused. She could feel Natsu's presence within the barrier, recall the warmth of his hand beneath the cold wall.

 _You can do this,_ his voice whispered. _Turn around. Slowly. You're at the edge of the platform._

Lucy turned on the spot. She walked her fingers over the keys on her arm, selecting Scorpio's from the guard. She summoned only his power in dress form, knowing she had to win this game by herself.

_Good thinking, Lucy!_

"Are you with me?"

_Always._

Encompassing Scorpio's power, Lucy tread lightly over the gap between one platform and the next, her feet floating on trails of sand. With falling out of the question, she had only to concern herself with the remaining contestants. She could walk into a fight at any minute.

An explosion of magic cracked through the air. Lucy dropped to her knees for balance.

_Whoa, Lucy. You should've seen it. That guy just—_

"Natsu, _please_."

_Right. Right._

"Where now?"

_There's a bridge to your left. We gotta—Crap! Three o'clock!_

Lucy leapt to her feet and blocked, both arms crossed to withstand an unseen blow. Weight bounced off Lucy's guard. She heard a breath and dropped into a crouch, sweeping her leg across the platform. Her boot danced on air and connected with someone's ankle. The person dropped with a loud _crash_ and fell, screaming so hard it burned holes in Lucy's memory. They'd fallen off the platform.

_You got a fire in your belly for sure, Lucy._

"Natsu, focus!"

_There's a big gap to your left. You need to get a running start and jump if you're going to make it to the bridge._

"No problem," she said, streamers of sand rippling out beneath her feet. Lucy felt her way towards the edge of the platform and sprinted, leaping into the air. Her body smacked the side of the column. She gasped a breath, clutching and climbing until she'd hoisted herself onto the platform.

_I guess it was a little higher than I thought._

"Natsu, when this is over, I'm going to Lucy Kick you into oblivion."

_Is that your way of asking me for a fight? Because I'm all fired up, Lucy._

"Where to now?"

_You need to cross the bridge in front of you. It looks pretty solid._

She'd believe that when she saw it. Or didn't, in this case.

Lucy shuffled her feet slowly, feeling along the platform. She stepped onto the bridge. Wooden boards creaked and swayed underfoot. She gasped, lurching to grab something. Anything.

There wasn't a rail.

Lucy grounded herself, knees bent inwards, hands waving to regain balance. She drew in a long breath and held it, at one with gravity, with herself.

_Keep going._

She'd barely stepped two paces when the wood snapped beneath her. Lucy screamed, latching onto a broken panel. The bridge swung hard against the connecting platform. Winded, Lucy gasped in a breath and clutched with all her strength.

_Lucy!_

"I'm okay."

_Look out!_

"Did you forget I'm blindfolded, Natsu?!"

_What is that? Seeds?_

Lucy swung her legs upright, gaining momentum until she could throw herself a little higher on the bridge. She grappled with wooden boards until she'd climbed onto the platform. Panting, she'd barely pulled herself to safety when something sweet exploded nearby. Whatever it was, the fragrance left her hot and dizzy.

_Lucy! Be careful!_

Lucy clutched her throat. "I can't..."

She couldn't breathe. Whatever these magical seeds were, they emitted a pollen so strong it was suffocating. Lucy coughed hard.

_She's coming!_

"Who—"

Somebody kicked Lucy's side. She rolled hard to the left, barely catching herself at the edge of the platform. Bouncing to her feet, Lucy listened for movement.

_Six o'clock!_

Lucy spun with a whip kick, driving her heel into the other mage's side. The woman spluttered. More of that sticky pollen filled Lucy's chest. She choked on it, tasting nothing but defeat.

_Lucy!_

Natsu's voice startled her. The woman kicked Lucy hard, pushing her backwards. Another blow caught Lucy's stomach. She doubled over a second too long. Hands shoved her to the ground. Lucy's head dropped from the platform, her body dangling. She groped the stone with her hands, trying to wriggle her way to safety. Fingers squeezed her throat.

"What are you doing?!" she gasped, blood rushing to her head.

"I have to win! My guild's reputation depends on it!"

 _Lucy!_ Natsu paused. _What the hell is—_

Screams erupted from the cavea, a piercing melody of panic and confusion so loud it seemed to suspend Lucy on a different plane. She seized a moment of chaos to grab the woman's arms and pull. They plunged over the edge of the column together.

She caught a ridge in the stone and swung idly, the woman vanishing in a whorl of runic magic, transported from the game. The platforms shrank into the ground, lowering Lucy swiftly.

Somebody crashed into her. Lucy gasped a breath, her arms sore from all the dangling. Familiar arms embraced her.

"Natsu? What's wrong?"

Lucy's blindfold dissipated—whether from failing the game or something else, she didn't know. Magic exploded against Natsu's back, smoke and flames curling around his body. He groaned out in pain.

"I made it..." he whispered.

Lucy's eyes widened in horror. Her heart stopped dead in her chest, blood turned to ice and snow. Natsu fell against her.

A colossal demon ripped through the stands, inky black scales shimmering sunlight and death. A blend of giants and dragons, golden horns protruded along the thing's head like mutated ears, twisting in a tangle of branch-like shapes over its head. Crimson eyes matched the sharpness of bloodstained teeth. This was a monster. A titan.

_Yasu._

Lucy!" Gildarts stood across the arena, a fellow judge draped over one shoulder. "Get to safety! Now!"

She saw in his face that Gildarts had been expecting this, though perhaps not in this magnitude. The One Hundred Years quest he'd taken on...

Was to defeat Titan Soul's cursed members?

"Damn it," Natsu grunted. "That stung."

"I was so worried!"

"We can't let Gildarts fight alone," he said.

"I knew you were going to say that."

Natsu grabbed Lucy's hands. "We have to fight. This is my fault."

Lucy shook her head. "No. Zeref caused this a long time ago. And now it's our turn to clean up after him. That's what families do, isn't it?"

"Are you with me, Lucy?"

They turned to face the demonic titan together.

" _Always_."

The beast threw down its enormous arms. Shockwaves pulsed through the arena, incapacitating those within close range. Lucy hit the ground hard, barely catching her breath when a strong hand yanked her upright. Minerva offered a grim smile.

"You two bring trouble wherever you go," she said.

"Where's Happy?" Lucy asked. He'd been sitting with them in the stands.

"With Yukino. They're escorting people to safety."

Sting appeared behind them, an injured Rogue on his arm. Dust and blood matted their hair and faces. They'd been caught in the explosion.

"There's never a dull moment with you two, is there?" Rogue said.

"Hey, why is this suddenly _our_ fault?" Natsu griped.

Rogue shrugged. "Fairy Tail's reputation for destruction follows them everywhere."

"Since the contest is off the table, shall we make a bet?" Sting asked. "First person to land a blow on that thing gets to see Lucy naked."

Lucy flinched. "Hey!"

"Like I'd let you see even an inch of Lucy's body," Natsu said.

The twin dragon slayers leapt into action.

"Then you'd better win!" Sting yelled back to him.

"You and I are going to have a _serious_ conversation when this is all over," Lucy snapped.

"I sure hope so," Natsu said.

"Don't assume I'm taking sides," Minerva said.

Lucy blinked. "What?"

Minerva spread gloved hands, swallowing Natsu and Lucy in a whorl of spacial magic. The spell spat them both in front of Sting and Rogue. Natsu snatched Lucy in one arm and threw her over a forming fissure. The earth opened between them. She rolled to a halt. Crowds screamed in their hurry to escape, trampling each other in a frenzy. They rushed past her in droves of wild panic. Lucy screamed for them to stop.

The demon swept an arm across the seats, scattering people like bloody leaves on a clean lawn. Dread filled the arena with a strong fragrance of death and decay. Yasu turned his eyes on Lucy, barely flinching as Sting and Rogue assailed him with combined attacks. Natsu leapt over Sting's head, driving a burning fist into the demon's face.

Lucy stood slowly. All of those people were dying. She had to do something—anything. But what?

Craters opened beneath the beast's clawed feet. Gildarts emerged between its legs, driving a devastating blow from behind. It flinched for just a moment, long enough to give Natsu time to rescue nearby bystanders.

Another blow sent the three dragon slayers hurtling across the arena. Gildarts caught the beast's fist in both hands, driving it back just an inch. It didn't matter. The thing belched hot flames, fire and smoke raining down on the ground. Gildarts collapsed.

No.

No, this wasn't happening.

The demon turned towards her. Lucy staggered backwards, falling over another man's body. She gasped, fear clawing at her throat. Yasu reached for her.

Why couldn't she move?

Natsu blurred towards her, smoke shielding him from view. Magic exploded within the black haze.

"Lucy!" he screamed.

She snapped to her senses. Lucy dodged an incoming blow and dashed for higher ground, climbing the stone steps two at a time. She drew Leo and Virgo's keys from her guard, wielding them between two fingers. She drew in a breath and summoned her magic.

They didn't come.

Lucy stared at the encroaching shadow of death looming towards her. Yasu's hands clapped around her, devastating, bones and skin breaking. Broken ribs prevented screams. Yasu inspected her like a trophy, eyes burning with hatred and remorse. He wanted somebody to end this.

Natsu's power ebbed within her. She felt the words of E.N.D.'s book pass through her like pages turning beneath her skin. Natsu's rage filled her, his horror at being unable to help her. She coughed blood.

Lucy's broken fingers twitched around her keys. She screamed with the agony, her ribs burning in protest. She had to do something, before Natsu lost himself to a similar fate. Lucy's power built and failed like fire in rain, doused before it could ever truly thrive. Her spirits...

She couldn't reach them.


	13. A Taste of Forever

"Lucy!"

Natsu's screams tore through him like reopened wounds. Fear burned like bile in his gullet. All around him the world turned to chaos.

Sting fell defeated on the ground at his feet, a bloodied Rogue crouched over him. Neither could fight. Fellow contestants surrendered to their wounds, desperately clinging to frays of life.

Natsu couldn't make it in time. Lucy was going to die and there was nothing he could do about it. He succumbed to bleak dolor, heart racing, eyes burning with tears that wouldn't come. He watched Yasu snatch Lucy from the ground, her screams deafening. All he could do was run and hope and pray.

Flames licked from the depths of his soul, hissing, crackling. They spilled through him, rolling heat and smoke and ash. He roared.

_Save her. Save her. Save her!_

"Speak of your future and it shall become your will to live."

Natsu froze. Everything around him slowed to a blearing halt. Colours muted and disappeared, leaving only a strange, hollow darkness. Something large moved within the surrounding smog. Familiar red shimmered in the light of Natsu's flames. It couldn't be...

_Igneel._

Natsu fell against his father's neck, nuzzling scales and slick warmth. Igneel nudged him gently, affectionately. Time waned.

"Am I dead?" Natsu whispered.

Igneel bellowed a mighty laugh. "Dying is far too simple for you, Natsu."

He lowered his head, disheartened. "This isn't real, is it?"

"Oh, I'm real, son. As real as my love for you."

Natsu's gaze snapped up. "But how?"

"Yasu's powers corrupt time itself," Igneel whispered. "The demon you see now is no more than a conjuring formed by his lingering grief. Destroy it and he will be freed."

"So you're a memory," Natsu realised.

Igneel smiled. "A memory, yes. But all memories are real, aren't they?" Igneel pressed a claw to Natsu's chest. "I exist here, within you."

"There are so many things I want to tell you," Natsu said.

"I already know," Igneel said. "We are connected, Natsu. I am always with you. I see every mistake you make, witness every victory. I'm so proud of you."

Natsu burst into tears. "I wasn't strong enough," he said. "You died because of me."

Igneel cuffed him around the head. "Foolish boy, my decisions are my own. As are hers." He gestured to the flicker of time passing them by—to Lucy.

She was alive.

"Igneel, I..."

"Don't let the demons of your past chase away the light in your future."

"Igneel, please!"

"Save it for the woman you love." Igneel inhaled the smog in a fading breath. "I'm much too old for sweet talk. Now go to her, Natsu. To the future."

"I love you, Igneel."

Igneel smiled. "Promise me something."

"Anything."

" _Please_ don't name your children after me."

Natsu dissolved into emotional laughter, tears and blood streaming down his cheeks. Despite every aching need to stay with his father, Natsu raced into the crumbling arena, leaving Igneel far, far behind. His heart opened up like a balloon filling with air, lifting him into a twisted sense of euphoria. Light, delicate. He leapt over the great fissure and into Yasu's devouring shadow. Something clattered by his feet.

Lucy's keys.

Natsu grabbed both keys and yelled, pouring every inch of his heart into the summoning. Loke shot through the sky like a lambent bullet, striking the demon's thorned head. Bone crunched and shattered. Yasu screeched, throwing Lucy high into the air.

Virgo tunneled beneath the demon's feet, trapping him in the crusted earth. Yasu stumbled and fell, his massive form hitting stone with a resounding _crash._

Flames burst from Natsu's feet. He vaulted high into the air, grabbing Lucy out of the sky. He spun to face the demon, blazing lightning erupting from his angered fist. Yasu wailed a sound so grueling it almost sounded human.

They landed together in the upper row, Loke and Virgo dropping gracefully behind them. Lucy's head dropped against Natsu's shoulder.

"This is bad," Loke said. "Her bones are..."

"We failed you, Princess."

"Where were you?" Natsu snapped.

Loke hesitated. "We heard Lucy crying for us, but something got in our way. The bridge between our worlds was too weak to cross."

She couldn't have used all her power already. It was impossible.

They set her down on the stone steps, Lucy's arms falling limp at her sides. Her breath rattled, labouring and weak. Despite her broken bones, Lucy's hands sought him out for comfort. Natsu took her hand gently.

"We have to..." Lucy winced. "We have to help them."

Natsu stared down at the bloody arena. Yasu was already standing again, demonic form radiating untold powers.

"Protect Lucy," Loke said.

Lucy's spirits leapt into action, assisting the few mages left in the fight. Among them, Gildarts had risen from the bodies, his power streaming across the Domus Flau. A flicker of hope filled Natsu's body.

"Can you stand?" he asked. "We need to move."

Lucy grimaced. "I think. Maybe."

She rolled her ankles, testing for breaks and fractures. She blanched, clearly in pain, but despite everything Lucy wobbled to her feet.

"My legs are about the only things not broken," Lucy wheezed.

"Lean on me," he said.

Gildarts crossed the arena in a blur or power and determination. Behind him, Minerva joined the fray, Yukino hot on her trail. Libra and Pisces accompanied her, along with members of guilds Natsu didn't know. Happy spotted Natsu across the burning battlefield, but something Gildarts said stopped him in his tracks. They shared a long, sorrowful look. Happy was their bast chance at rescuing the others. They'd see each other again soon.

Yasu rose again, punching and flailing like a spin-top with no end in sight. Flames spit from the demon's great maw.

Natsu helped Lucy descend the rows of seats, her body following along like dead weight. They'd barely reached the middle row when she choked up blood, spraying crimson defeat across the empty seats.

Natsu turned to face her. "Lucy, as you are now..."

Lucy grabbed his hands tight, her broken fingers so delicate he thought they might crumble. Even this was too much for her. Her dark eyes burned through him, clinging to ashen hope in a blaze of destruction.

"We have to help them," she begged.

"Not in your condition! Lucy, you'll die!"

"So what if I do? What's one life for—"

"Shut up!"

Lucy's mouth opened. Silence prevailed where words failed her. Shock. Fear. Confusion.

"Don't you ever talk about dying again," Natsu snarled.

"Natsu..."

"I would rather become a demon than live in a world without you."

Lucy held their hands between them, her body trembling. She nodded, assured, afraid. "Please be careful," she said.

Yasu turned towards them, bodies flying around him like swatted flies. Nuisances and nothing more. How could they defeat this thing? It was the raw embodiment of guilt. Such a thing couldn't simply _die_.

"Do you trust me?" he said.

Lucy smiled. "Of course."

Reluctantly, Natsu let go of Lucy's hand. She dropped to her knees, exhausted, her warm heart following him into danger. Natsu joined Gildarts on the battlefield, their reunion halted by the rage of demonic fists.

"I don't suppose you can eat that?" Gildarts gestured to the black flames scorching through the arena.

Natsu wrinkled his nose. "I'm not usually one to turn down a meal, but that doesn't smell so good to me."

"Ah, so you _have_ grown up," Gildarts mocked.

"You're the one gettin' wrinkles, old man."

Gildarts guffawed. "Could an old man do _this_?"

With a mighty shove, Gildarts propelled Natsu high into the air, far above the demon's reach. Natsu closed his eyes, suspended in the briefest absence of time. He thought of Igneel. Of Future Lucy. Of Ultear.

Seeds of guilt flowered into buds of hope within him. Natsu drew his flames, called on the power Igneel bestowed him.

His eyes opened.

The demon's hands closed around him. Flames wheeled around his arms, burning so hot not even Yasu could hold them. He broke the demon's grip.

"I'm the son of Igneel," Natsu said, smashing through teeth and muscle. "And I won't lose to you demons anymore!"

Rivers of darkness exploded through the arena. Glimmers of memories long past burst to life from the surrounding fissures. Dragons poured from the skies. Natsu's eyes widened. This was...

Natsu crashed into the ground. Gildarts lie unconscious in a crater of his own creation. Yasu dropped to his knees, temporarily stunned.

How could they defeat _time_?

Shadows passed over him. Dragons and death. Natsu stared into the crimson sky, streaks of smoke smearing the horizon. He didn't breathe. Didn't dare. Dragon fire burst across the arena.

Natsu clambered to his feet. "What can I do?" he whispered.

Lucy hobbled towards him, no longer clad in Scorpio's Star Dress. Her magic was failing. She pitched forward, broken bones barely holding her steady. Natsu caught her gently.

Yasu strode towards them, ominous, powerful. A guttural snarl tore through the sky, the beating of wings filling Crocus with raw terror.

They were going to die.

Lucy took his hands into her own, squeezing as best she could.

"Look at me," she said.

Natsu's gaze snapped to hers. "Lucy?"

"Look only at me," she told him.

White light burned in those shimmering eyes. Future Lucy manifested within the fluorescent warmth in her soul. He sensed a surge in magical power.

Natsu pressed his forehead to hers, acknowledging her strength, her love. He welcomed the touch of her skin, longed for more of it, recalled the words he'd been so desperate to say. He had to do it now, while he had the chance.

"Lucy, I—"

Flames burst from Lucy's skin, incandescent white and gold. Natsu called upon his strength, combined it with hers until all that separated them was flesh and bone.

Rings of fire and light swept across the ruined grounds. Lucy's flames drew from Natsu's heat, summoning something hotter than fire within him. He held her empty eyes and searched the depths of her soul until he found her waiting, arms open. His magic fell into her warmth.

Yasu's great hands passed through them, disappearing in waves of pure light. Of Lucy's heart. The flames swallowed everything until all that remained was her. Natsu felt his wounds closing, the blood drying, his bruised muscles restored. People all around him began to stir, their voices an echo of victory.

"Thank you," Yasu whispered, and in a wave of light he was gone, no more than a delicate ripple in the wave of life. The dragons and all their guilt went with him.

"See, you're not a monster," she said.

Natsu stared at her. Had she just _healed_ the entire arena?

They collapsed to their knees, fingers still clasped between their chests. Relief weighed on him like gravity, pulling him down, down, down.

"We did it," Lucy breathed.

Wisps of steam billowed from her scorched arms, blood and burnt skin already dried to scars. Her broken fingers moved freely once more. Remnants of magic warmed him still, her very soul shivering through his cracked resolve. He'd never felt anything like it. Not even E.N.D.'s magic could touch them here. Not now.

Lucy's heart had reached everyone. The arena glittered as though the stars themselves had fallen to grant their wishes. The sweet cinnamon aftertaste of their combined power cleansed the world of smoke and blood.

She teetered forward. Natsu steadied her, his hands gliding across her shoulders. He dipped a hand into her bloody hair, fingers smooth and quick against her neck. She smiled.

"I was so scared," she whispered.

_'Don't you think you owe it to yourself to be honest with her?'_

"Lucy."

"My legs are seriously numb, Natsu."

"Lucy?"

"I can't stop shaking. Look at my hands."

"Lucy!"

She flinched. "What? What's wrong? Did you get hurt? Oh no, did something go wrong? What about here?" She touched his chest. "Does it hurt—"

_'Why are you holding back?'_

Natsu kissed her. " _Lucy_."

She froze completely. "Yes?"

Natsu grabbed her face and kissed her again. His mouth tasted hers slowly, passionately, as though he'd been starved of her all his life. Lucy's hands fell against his chest, her eyes fluttering closed. Natsu kissed her harder, desperately. He closed his eyes, indulged longer in the warmth of Lucy's lips and the sweet comfort of her hands over his heart.

Was this how it felt to be so completely, irrevocably in love?

She drew back, breathless, her eyes a glitter of tears. Natsu touched his forehead to hers, relief unshackling the guilt in his heart. Years of remorse ran free at last.

"Lucy," he said, "you are my future."

* * *

"Lucy! I'm so glad you're alive!"

Happy burst into the room at full speed, a whirl of blue tears and white relief. He crashed into Lucy's waiting arms, tears bursting on his cheeks, voice crying without restraint.

Natsu cleared his throat. "I'm here too, you know."

Happy whipped around to face him. "I was so scared, Natsu," he wailed.

Natsu could only smile. He watched them across the room, his body sore despite the healing effects of their unison raid. In all his years as a mage, Natsu had never witnessed anything like it. It was so like Lucy to tap into a power that helped others.

Following the battle with Yasu, those who'd recovered were brought to the infirmaries surrounding the arena. Many of them were without injury, though it was best to be certain. After all, their magic had restrictions.

"There, there," Lucy soothed Happy. "You were so brave, helping all those people to safety. A real hero."

Seeing her with Happy made Natsu recall the future Yasu had shown him. If there was even the slightest possibility that he and Lucy would have a family, that all of this would be okay, Natsu was wiling to do _anything_. Give anything.

A light knock interrupted their moment.

Gildarts stepped into the room, wearing a grin so wide it could exist as its own person. Natsu mirrored the smile.

"You two never fail to surprise me," he said.

"A good surprise, right?" Natsu said.

Lucy beamed. "It's good to see you. Thank you for all your help."

"Thank _you_. I was beginning to think I'd chased a ghost," Gildarts said. "Titan Soul's full o' horror stories; hard to tell which ones are the real deal."

Lucy climbed off her bed, bringing Happy with her. "I'm going to step out for some fresh air."

Happy hesitated just a moment, clearly torn between Lucy's company and seeing Gildarts again. A quick snuggle made the decision for him.

The doors closed at Lucy's back, leaving Natsu alone with Gildarts's rigid stare. Natsu swallowed the lump in his throat, barely aware of when it had formed.

"So, you an' Lucy, huh?"

Had _everybody_ seen that kiss? Sting hadn't shut about it all the way to the infirmary, and then he'd only stopped because Yukino dragged him into a different room. He'd have to thank them later.

Natsu's face burned. "Yeah."

"Damn it, kid." Gildarts smoothed his hair. "I had two more years in the bet!"

"You guys were _betting_ against us?"

"No, no. Not against you. Just, ya know. With the rate you were goin'..."

Was everyone aware of Natsu's feelings before he was? No, no, that wasn't fair. Natsu had always been _aware_ of his feelings. Aware of Lucy.

"We saw Cana back in Onibus Town," Natsu said quietly.

"Oh, yeah? Was she pissed?"

"Maybe a little."

Gildarts flopped onto Natsu's bed, the mattress creaking beneath the big man's weight. He drew Natsu into an embrace, the two of them sinking back onto the bed. Natsu wrestled in Gildarts's playful hold.

"Ya know, Cana's the greatest thing that ever happened to me," Gildarts said. "I think it's time I learned how to be a real dad."

Natsu raised a brow. "But you'll still fight me, right?"

Gildarts burst into laughter. "You got a one track mind, kid. You shouldn't be running into fights anymore. You've got a future to protect."

Natsu frowned.

"What? You nervous?" Gildarts asked. "Do we need to have the _talk_?"

Heat spread through Natsu like a foreign flame, burning everything it touched. He'd had more than enough _talks_ from Erza to know exactly where this conversation was going.

"I want to make her happy," Natsu said.

"You really love her, don't you?"

Natsu nodded. "She's Lucy," was all he said.

"Loving someone can be hard." Gildarts sat up. "But the scariest things are always the most rewarding. That's why I take on all those wretched quests. The adrenaline rush reminds me that I have so much more to live for."

Natsu eased himself upright. "I find it hard to believe anything scares you."

"Oh, but the greatest men rise from fear."

Natsu didn't know what to say. He grabbed the tails of Igneel's scarf, recalling their bittersweet reunion. It was all he'd ever wanted. To just see him one more time.

"I don't know what I'd do if..." Natsu hesitated.

"Losing people is an inevitable part of life, Natsu. But that's what makes us appreciate people more. Cana makes me proud to be human every single day."

Natsu rolled his eyes. "You sound like an old man."

Gildarts scuffed his hair. "Watch it, kid, That'll be you someday."

Natsu recalled Yasu's vision once more. His entire body flushed with untold feelings.

"Sure," he mumbled.

"Did I ever tell you how much Cana looks like her mother?"

Natsu shook his head.

"Not a day goes by that I don't think of Cornelia," he said. "But a part of her lives on in Cana. Our children are the pieces of us we want to share with the world. There's nothing I wouldn't do to preserve Cana's happiness."

Natsu couldn't imagine ever loving anyone as much as he loved Lucy, but seeing Gildarts's eyes light up so brilliantly made him want to believe it. That some day, maybe, he'd have a piece of Lucy to hold onto if they were ever apart. That the love they share might be passed down for generations.

"But don't go gettin' all broody on me yet, Natsu. You and I got a few more sparring rounds in us. Besides, I don't think the guild's ready for a mini _you_ anytime soon. Though, when it happens, it'll be the greatest gift you've ever had. Like the world is suddenly payin' all the debts she owes." He clapped his hands together. "Speakin' of gifts, I may have liberated this from the judges."

Gildarts dropped a small box into Natsu's hand.

"The prize. I'd say you more than earned it," Gildarts said.

Within the box was a matching crystal key and lock. It wasn't Aquarius's key, but something about it emanated strong magic. Natsu took the key and turned it slowly.

"With these, you'll never be apart," said Gildarts.

"Never be apart?"

"As long as one of you has a piece of this set, you'll always find your way back to each other. Or so the inscription says." He paused. "Crap, maybe I should've saved it for a wedding present."

Natsu succumbed to embarrassment, no longer able to oppose even a lick of warmth. He groaned inwardly.

"Thanks," he said. "But Lucy and I will never be apart again."

* * *

That night, Natsu found Lucy sitting on the doorstep all alone. After spending the majority of the evening with Happy glued to her side, she'd finally wrested him away and settled him in their bed. Natsu hadn't had a minute alone with her since their kiss.

Thinking about it now left him feeling awkward. He fidgeted in the doorway, not entirely sure what to say, what to do. Things didn't have to be so different, but there were feelings left unspoken between them. An air of change.

Veiled by thin clouds, the moon shone a dim light on their little home, illuminating all that he held dear. Cold winds accompanied the summer night, chilling the air enough that even Natsu felt the sting of cold.

He unfurled his scarf and set it around Lucy's shoulders. She tipped her head back to greet him, her smile delicate, sad. They had a lot to reflect on.

Natsu joined her on the step, gazing out into the open street. There were times in life when silence said more than words, and not even actions would suffice. So he simply sat, quiet and thoughtful. He owed her that much.

Lucy leaned on his shoulder. "I wish the world would just stop spinning. Even for one day."

"I have something for you," he said.

Lucy tilted her head to look at him. He grinned, pulling the small box from his pocket. He tipped the key and lock into her palm.

"What is it?" she asked.

"It's the prize from the tournament."

Lucy straightened. "Did you steal this?"

"Gildarts gave it to me," he said, a little wounded.

Then again, he did steal a _crown_ the last time they were here.

"So this is the magical item," Lucy said, twirling the lock around her finger. "What do they do?"

"According to Gildarts, as long as we both have a piece of the set, we'll always be able to find each other."

Lucy's cheeks flushed. She opened the lock with the key and clasped it shut around her chain, letting it fall gently beside Aquarius's key. She placed the key in Natsu's hand and closed his fingers around it.

"Then you'd better not lose it," she said.

Natsu tucked it away in his pocket. He'd find a better place for it later. Besides, he had no need of it right now. Not when Lucy was sitting right beside him.

"Is it weird?" she said.

Natsu studied her warm expression. "What?"

" _Us_."

Natsu mulled on the inference in her tone. "What about us?"

Warmth crept into Lucy's face like a sea of red, rushing in to drown whatever composure she had left. She averted her gaze and sighed.

"You know exactly what I mean."

"Nothing has changed," he said. "I told you we'd always be together."

Lucy pursed her lips. "How are you so calm about this? Doesn't your heart feel like it's bursting?"

Natsu shrugged. "I guess so."

Lucy jumped to her feet.

Natsu grabbed her wrist. "Where are you going?"

"I'm tired," she said.

Natsu pulled her down to his level, his mouth finding hers without the need of magical keys and locks. His fingers curled into her hair, holding her close until he sensed the calmness in her. She peered down into his honest gaze.

"What was that for?" she breathed.

"I just wanted to."

"You're such an idiot."

He smiled. "And you kissed an idiot, so what does that make you?"

Lucy's mouth hung open. She sat beside him and sulked, sifting through emotions she didn't have to share. It was written clearly on her face. She twisted the ring on her finger, annoyed, embarrassed, content.

"I love you, Lucy," he said.

Lucy covered her mouth to suppress a squeak. He could see it in her eyes that she knew exactly what he meant. This wasn't the love of a fellow guild member. This was the love of a man who wanted to spend his entire life with her. To create a future she could be proud of. He might not be a prince from those books she liked to read, but Natsu would dedicate his entire life to being damn near close, if that's what she needed.

Lucy groaned. "This is so frustrating," she said. "All this time I've wondered how to say those words, and you make them sound so perfect on your first try."

"It doesn't matter how you say it, Lucy. If it comes from you."

Lucy captured his face in her hands, so forceful it stunned him. She leaned in close, her eyes hot, his face burning hotter. His composure slipped away. She squeezed his cheeks and huffed, tears spilling down her cheeks.

"I'm so glad I met you, Natsu."


	14. Over the Threshold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very much a reward for all of my loyal readers as much as it is a transition between Crocus and the next stage in their journey! I hope you enjoy all the feels and the nice break from drama, haha. I would've had this posted yesterday, but my husband kept insisting on having an input. Hahahaha. Please note, there is brief explicit content in this chapter. It's marked by labelled dividers, though, so feel free to skip it!

Nothing was ever easy.

Lucy stepped into the burning village, smoke and ash and blood whipping around her in waves of coppery decimation. A crimson moon smirked behind wisps of sanguine clouds dipped in smoky black.

She slowed just long enough to notice the billowing skirts of her white dress. Red thread laced the bodice tight, crisscrossed with a bow at the dip of her throat. More thread enveloped her ring finger, woven so thick she couldn't break nor remove it.

"Where am I?"

This wasn't like any nightmare she'd had before. Rotting dreams wafted from broken glass windows, moans of the dead unhinged from splinted doors.

She stopped at an old well, the overhang crumbling into the empty depths far below. She leaned over the edge to see a broken bucket hanging by a single rope.

_Drip._

Lucy spun to see an odd structure among the flames. An egg-like shell coated in grime and dust blended with the smoky horizon. She erased a streak of dirt with a single hand. Lucy gasped and, frantic, scrubbed away more of the filth.

"Natsu..."

Just a child, Natsu floated within the peculiar egg, his eyes closed to the world. Loops of red thread clung to the shaft of his prison, blooming in soft ribbons like the bows of a shiny new gift.

"Etherious Natsu Dragneel," a voice whispered.

Lucy turned to see a young Zeref standing beside her. He placed a small hand on the glass, gazing long into his brother's resting place.

"He's just a child," Lucy said.

"For now. But even trees must begin as seeds."

"You don't seem as frightening as the Zeref I knew."

If she could say she'd known him at all.

Zeref smiled to himself. "You were so clouded by your fear and anger that I could not reach you as I am. Now that you've opened your eyes and accepted the truth, I can be of more help to you. I only wish that Natsu would do the same." Zeref took Lucy's hand and unraveled the string on her finger, plucking it free like vultures gobbling the remains of Death himself. "The bond you share is special," he said. "Without love, there will be nothing to save his soul when the time comes. The way Mavis saved mine."

Laughter echoed within the fumes. Smoke dispersed like curtains drawn in the night to reveal shimmers of memories glittering like distant constellations. Tiny and carefree, Natsu raced into his mother's arms, Zeref laughing and chasing behind him. Lucy's heart filled completely.

"What you see now are dormant memories sealed within the book of E.N.D.," Zeref explained. "These memories live within you now, hidden among the magic you transferred. Threads of humanity live within his power. Pulling at just one might unravel the demon I created."

So there was but a sliver of hope for Natsu after all.

"I'm so furious with you that I can't stand it," Lucy said. "But try as I might, I just can't hate you."

Zeref turned to Lucy, his eyes wide and innocent. He offered only a weak smile. She'd _actually_ hurt his feelings.

"You have every right to hate me," Zeref said.

"How can I?" Lucy watched the memories unfold around her, glimpses of family dinners and silly games. "Without you, Natsu and I would never have met."

Zeref stole a glimpse of his sleeping brother. "You should direct your gratitude elsewhere. After all, it was your mother who died at the Eclipse Gate to bring him here."

An inkling of understanding touched Lucy deep within her heart. She touched her chest, fond memories of Layla gleaming within her. It seemed the apple didn't fall too far from the tree after all. She, too, was willing to sacrifice her life for Natsu's well-being.

"You are a good person, Lucy Heartfilia," Zeref said.

Lucy's heart gave an odd flutter. "You said you wanted forgiveness. I'm sorry, but I can't give you that. Not right now, with everything hanging by the threads you created. But..." Lucy crouched to his height. "Thank you. Thank you for giving Natsu to me."

Zeref didn't blink. He took Lucy's hand between his small fingers and studied her guild mark in quiet admiration. How could this child ever become such a monster?

"I hear you heart, sister,"

 _Sister_? Lucy's heart sang a traitorous melody of acceptance and relief.

"I'm sorry, Lucy. As long as pieces of me live within you, Natsu will continue targeting you. He senses my powers inside you. Loathes them." Zeref touched the glass, cracks forming in Natsu's chamber. "As the seed grows, Natsu's temperament will begin to change. Once he crosses the threshold, there will be no turning back. Rewrite my mistakes so that I might find peace. And if perhaps I don't deserve it, then at least Natsu can live freely once more. Then, at least, it would all be worth it."

"Everyone deserves to know peace," Lucy said. She grabbed Aquarius's key reflexively.

“You're still searching for your friend?” 

"I am," she said.

"Even though the path you walk leads to sorrow?"

_Drip._

Lucy froze. "What do you mean?"

_Drip._

"Sometimes, the things we seek only serve to hurt us. For many, the pain is worth even a glimpse of past pleasures, of distant loves. But not all journeys end happily. It is how you deal with these emotions that defines you."

_Drip._

A drizzle of rain spattered the hard ground, soft sounds rippling across Lucy's heart. Her fingers tightened around the chain on her neck.

"I must see this journey through to the end," she said.

Tremors rocked the ground, opening the earth to billowing darkness. Cracks of earth moved towards Natsu's resting place, branching in all directions. The chamber plummeted out of sight.

Zeref shoved her into the chasm.

Lucy woke to an empty bed. Light burst through the nearby window, succeeded only by the loud _clash_ of magical power outside. Lucy scrubbed her face, the stench of smoke filling her lungs. She coughed.

 _Not again_.

They'd fought every morning for the past week. When would it finally be enough? She sighed, preparing to face another exhausting day. Lucy was beginning to think Sting didn't have a guild to go back to.

Grabbing her robe, Lucy smoothed back her hair and threw open the window, leaning over the ledge to inspect the damage. Natsu hurtled through the sky like a flaming bird with broken wings. He crashed against the wall beneath her.

"Ow..." He tipped his head back and grinned. "Oh, hey, Lucy!"

"Do you have to fight _every_ morning?" she carped.

"Hey, Lucy!" Sting yelled. "I hope we didn't ruin your beauty sleep."

Rogue offered only an apologetic smile, though he looked just as much to blame given the state of him. Happy floated to the window ledge and sat within Lucy's arms, clearly trying to avoid trouble.

"Don't think you're getting out of this," Lucy told him.

He frowned at her, feigning innocence. "I told him not to fight, Lucy," Happy said.

"I'm sure you did."

"Let's get back to the fight," Lector yelled. "Sting is winning!"

Natsu shot to his feet. "Like hell he is!"

At least Minerva had the sense to stay out of it. She'd been absent most of the mornings, delivering reports about the demons to council members while Sting busied himself being Natsu's rival. She usually appeared later in the day to drag him back to his duties.

"Please be careful," Yukino said, tending to Rogue's wounds while he rested.

"Just one more fight," Sting pleaded.

"I don't remember adopting so many children," she quipped.

Sting grinned. "You're the best, Lucy."

"Hey, I didn't—" She sighed. "Try not to make a mess. And keep it down!"

Closing the window, Lucy retreated into the bathroom. If nothing else, she could use this time for a little reflection. Last night's dream left her strangely optimistic despite Zeref's embittering words. Natsu's magic lurked beneath her skin, a tepid reminder of the bond she and Natsu now shared. She clasped Aquarius's key between her fingers, rolling the broken shaft around her thumb.

Closing the door to their silly fight, Lucy sank into the hot bath, steam fogging the mirror and window. She submerged herself neck-high and closed her eyes, shutting out the ruckus in favour of quiet thought.

_Drip._

Her eyes snapped open.

More explosions rocked the house. She heard a mighty _thwack_ , and somebody cursed. More yelling ensued. Lucy heaved a sigh. They'd been like this since the tournament got cancelled. And here Lucy thought his earlier brawling with Gildarts might actually quell Natsu's need for a fight. Then again, goodbyes didn't satiate one's hunger for companionship, only escalated it. Gildarts hadn't said much when he left.

Maybe it was the fighting that bothered her.

Since their fight in the arena, Lucy had become more aware of Natsu's presence than before. Little things that used to be so easy—falling asleep together, cooking together, laughing together—carried new weight. New intentions. It left her agog with tantalising thoughts of stolen kisses and coquettish touches.

She wanted to be alone with. Maybe another kiss would unravel the cocoons in her stomach and set those eager butterflies free.

Despite trying her best to suppress the urges, Lucy's desire to be near him had only amplified in recent days. And every dream of red threads and forgiveness left her aching to touch him. She hated herself for it. Rushing headfirst into these feelings could leave her burned instead of bright. She'd dreamed of decadent romance, tasted it in the flavour of seductive novels and wild daydreams. And yet plans and perfection didn't matter with him. This was all so new.

And yet it wasn't.

Slapping a label on what they had, calling Natsu her _lover_ , it didn't change anything. it didn't erase the years of progress they already had, the years of trust and friendship tucked away in their hearts. For all the world knew, they might as well be married. It was only natural that new doors were opening quicker than she'd expected. Lucy had been sitting on the doorstep all this time, waiting for him to let her in. The next step wasn't going on silly dates and nervously fumbling over questions to get to know each other.

They already did.

She knew him so well that the only change in Lucy now was her _body_. Just thinking about last night, when his hand moved lazily over her waist while he slept... Lucy shivered.

"Get it together," she breathed.

Splashing water on her face, Lucy stared at her legs within the shivering water. He'd seen her naked so many times, but the thought of him seeing her body again, of him _touching it,_ left her weak with a new kind of longing. She'd read enough of Levy's library—and heard enough _stories_ about the twin's conception—to know her desires were true.

But Natsu didn't seem aware of her at all. How could she seduce a man whose idea of fun left him bleeding and battered after an exciting brawl?

No amount of pretty dresses and cleavage would help. He'd seen her in every form. Weak. Strong. Bloody. Beautiful. He remained totally unfazed each time. And with Happy constantly by their side, she didn't feel right sneaking off to figure it out for herself.

 _It's only been a week_ , she told herself.

But that week felt like an eternity.

She wanted to see it, though. To see his nervous expression for herself. He was always so cool and collected. Lucy wanted to be the reason his knees wobbled and his mind raced with indecent thoughts.

_Okay. That's enough of that!_

She'd barely washed and stepped one foot on the ground when the door crashed open. Lucy slipped out of the bath and hit the floor. Hard.

"Lucy, Minerva invited us for—" Natsu stared nonplussed, his gaze flicking between varying parts of her body. "What are you doing on the floor?"

She launched a shampoo bottle and screamed. He caught it with deft fingers, barely moving as he set it on the nearby sink. Lucy covered her chest and drew her legs closed tight.

"What are you doing, Natsu?"

"Minerva asked us to lunch," he said. "Happy left with Yukino already, so I came to get you."

 _He left?_ It wasn't like Happy to just bail on Natsu like that. Was this...

Of course Minerva was interfering.

They'd discussed Lucy's concerns for privacy just yesterday. Lucy quivered. That woman really was impressive. And now her pride was going to ruin their one chance at intimacy,

"You didn't even knock," she groused.

He really didn't have a clue, did he? How could he stand there so oblivious to the naked woman sitting right in front of him. Didn't it bother him just a little?

"I figured you'd say no to lunch," Natsu said. "So I thought I'd hang out with you."

Lucy expelled a long breath. It was true she hadn't been good company lately, but with strange dreams and her sudden obsession with Natsu, Lucy hadn't really thought about anything else. He was already planning to stay with her?

' _Maybe you need to purge all of those feelings. Get it out of your system now so things can go back to normal_ ,' Minerva had said. _'I'm sure he shares your desires too. While humans aren't defined by carnal urges, and not everyone succumbs to them, Natsu is clearly infatuated with you beyond emotional needs. Oblivious though he may seem.'_

"I didn't mean to startle you." Natsu offered his hand and grinned. "We did it once before, so…"

Lucy smacked his hand away. "Learn to read the room, you jerk! Taking a bath with you is different now!"

She didn't move from the bathroom floor, wet hair dripping cold and heavy on her shoulders. Lucy tightened her arms against her chest.

He crouched on the balls of his feet and placed a loving hand on Lucy's head. Her body thawed under his warm touch. She almost forgot why she'd gotten so embarrassed in the first place. And then a part of her wanted to smack him.

"I didn't think you'd get this upset about it," he said. "I was just teasing you."

Lucy pouted. "It's… That's because…"

Everything he said rang with undertones of romance and desire now. Ever since that first kiss, Lucy read more into his words than before.

And they were alone now. For the first time in a week, they were actually alone.

"I really didn't think it would bother you so much," he said.

Lucy's heart weakened. "Why would you think that?"

"Because you're mine."

* * *

After dressing and recovering from yet another one of Natsu's stone-faced proclamations, Lucy edged into the living room slowly, painfully aware of his presence sprawled across the loveseat. She peered over the back of the couch, alarmed at what she found him doing.

Natsu flipped through one of Lucy's novels—and not the kind of novel she wanted him to read. It was a secret stash from Levy's collection. Where on Earth Land did he find it? She could've sworn she'd stashed it away somewhere safe. Even _Lucy_ had forgotten it existed.

"Hey, Lucy," he said. "Feeling better?"

Lucy reached for the book. "Did you go through my things?"

Natsu held it out of arm's reach, stealing purposeful glances at the page he was at. "It was just sitting there on the bed."

No. It really wasn't.

"Natsu, what did I tell you about going through my things?"

She leaned over the back of the couch, swinging frantically for the book in his hands. He grabbed her arm and pulled. Lucy rolled over the couch, falling hard against his chest.

"It was just getting interesting," he said.

Lucy pushed off his chest. He grabbed her when she tried to sit up, pulling her harder against him. Lucy's hands smacked the couch on either side of his head. She didn't resist again.

"Listen, Natsu, it's not what you think. The book was a gift from Levy so of course I'm going to read it. It's not like I spend every day, you know, thinking about that stuff. But of course, it's not that I don't want to, either. I just, well, things are different between us now, and I didn't want..." Heat bloomed in her face, spreading rapidly to her body. "Look, it's curiosity, that's all. Nothing more."

"Lucy..." His fingers danced at the nape of her neck, pulling her closer.

Lucy squeezed her eyes shut and awaited the soft brush of his mouth on hers. Warm breath ghosted her lips. Then nothing.

He _laughed_.

Lucy stared at him. "Natsu?"

"I didn't read it," he said. If she didn't love the sound of his joy so much she'd have smacked him.

He dropped the book on the ground, his expression that of pure delight at having fooled her. Lucy thrashed in his arms.

"You jerk! You let me ramble on for so long!"

He burst into hot fits of laughter, his hands trailing across the small of her back. Lucy almost indulged in the pleasure of those touches. Almost.

"I wanted to cheer you up," he said.

"This is how you cheer me up?!"

"Doesn't it feel like things are back to normal?" he said.

His words cleared her enmity and replaced it with cooling affection. He sat up with her, pulling her legs on either side of his waist. Lucy gazed into his dark eyes, feeling the edges of his soul, longing to embrace it.

"Life's more fun when you're smiling," he said.

Lucy's heart melted. She ran a fingertip over his cheek, following the scrapes and bruises from the morning battle.

"Look at you," she said. "Is it even worth it?"

Natsu grinned. "If I keep getting stronger, I'll be able to protect you no matter what."

The knots in Lucy's stomach clenched painfully hard.

"I can't take this anymore," she whispered.

"What's wrong? Are you getting sick?"

"How are you so calm all the time?" she said. "People have tripped over themselves trying to talk to me before, but you're always so..." Uninterested? No, that wasn't the right word. "I'm not used to feeling so insecure, Natsu. It's driving me crazy."

Natsu took her hand and placed it gently against his chest. His heart raced to meet her. Lucy held his gaze, only now noticing the sweep of blush on his cheeks and the subtle bob of nerves in his throat. He trailed his fingers across her shoulder, a light, ticklish sensation that lifted slowly to her neck. Lucy's stomach tensed and warmed.

"Were you worried I didn't share your feelings?"

"No, no, of course not. I mean, _yes_ , but no." Lucy grimaced, not entirely sure how to place her feelings. "I'm just nervous and scared and excited. It's hard to keep track of things now that we're being honest with each other. I don't know which feelings are right and which ones are moving too fast. And then earlier you said I was yours and I thought my heart was going to—"

Natsu brushed his nose against hers. "Lucy," he whispered. "It's okay."

 _Lucy_.

Suddenly she was kneeling on the battlefield again, their fingers intertwined, his mouth on hers. She'd thought about kissing him every day since then. But whenever she thought he might kiss her again, things got in the way, or he did something completely irrelevant to the moment.

"I'm hungry," he mumbled.

Lucy smiled to herself. _Things like that_.

"Well, since you skipped Minerva's cooking to keep me company, I can make you some—"

Natsu stole a kiss.

"I thought you were hungry," she breathed.

" _I am_."

His eyes flickered with a darkness she'd never seen before. It wasn't the elusive shadows of a wicked heart, but the tempting blink of time between life and death when everything became abundantly clear. It was a danger that didn't come from dormant powers or E.N.D.'s influence. This was just _Natsu_.

The chains on Lucy's heart burst into useless links and dropped into the chasm of her futile doubts. She threw her arms around his neck, fingers gliding through his hair, and kissed him with six days of pent up fervor.

Natsu's gaze sealed her in like sugarcoated bars slamming down all around her, sweet and addictive. But this wasn't a trap. He held her captive and safe within his raging heartbeat.

She knotted her fingers in his hair, surprised at the bold taste of his mouth crushed against hers. Dreams of romance burned like hot wax, igniting flames of passion so wild and bright they lit the world on fire and withered everything to ash.

Natsu's hands drifted across her back, so gentle Lucy couldn't believe there was a sliver of demon inside him. His hands stopped and he leaned back, gaze searching her own. He actually seemed embarrassed.

"What? Were you surprised?" Lucy summoned years of confidence, pushing her inhibitions deep down inside herself. "I can kiss you too, you know."

Natsu looked at her now as though they were meeting for the first time. His gaze ticked to the doorway, a flicker of understanding warming his dark eyes. The corner of his mouth twitched the way it did before he challenged someone to a fight.

He'd just realised they were alone.

Lucy shivered. "Whatever you're thinking, don't even bother. The last time you smiled like that I–"

"Is that a challenge, Lucy?"

Lucy blinked. "What? No…" Maybe? "Hey, stop smiling like that!"

Natsu clasped her zipper between two fingers, pulling so slowly Lucy thought all of her emotions might spill open with it. He drew her closer with one hand, his lips trailing across her cheek. Lucy's breath hitched. She recalled memories of him biting her neck and flinched, as though she'd just discovered Cupid's arrow were dipped in poison and Natsu's love would kill her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

His lips danced across her neck, replacing E.N.D.'s touch with his own. Soft kisses erased the memories burned into her skin. Her hands moved to his chest, delicate, inviting.

He pushed her onto the couch, a blur of motion so quick Lucy barely felt his weight shift over her. His eyes burned with liberated tension. Her mind flickered back to their final sparring session before the tournament. So they really were the same. His gaze exposed long days of suppressed desires.

"And you accused _me_ of holding back," she whispered.

"Lucy." His voice came in soft breaths, a single finger trailing the length of skin between her zipper. "I'm all fired up."

They really were idiots. Foolishly stepping around each other when all they wanted, all they needed, was to come together. There was no strategy to romance. No battle plans for intimacy.

Lucy's chest heaved. He opened the front of her suit completely, his expression cool, still. Lucy covered her face in both hands, heat and desire pouring through her veins.

Natsu opened her hands and gazed long at her face, that cool expression suddenly wild and yearning. He released her wrists with a calming smile.

"Look at me," he said, her own words echoing back to her. "Look only at me, Lucy."

Lucy's heart skipped so many beats she thought it might have stopped. "I have always looked at you," she said.

The words disarmed him. Lucy leaned up on her elbows and kissed him, reviving the confidence she'd always had, the pride and the trust. Her hand shifted into his hair, holding him close.

She unraveled the scarf from his neck, setting it gently on the ground somewhere close by. Time increased and slowed in an instant. Lucy grabbed a fistful of his collar and pulled, twisting until they rolled off the couch. They hit the floor with an audible gasp. She sat on his waist, her breathing laboured, hands trembling.

"You got distracted," she breathed.

He looked at her with such adoration it made her stomach ache. Lucy removed the straps of her suit and rolled it to her waist. Averting her gaze, she unclasped her bra and let it fall gently into her lap. Natsu's gaze snapped to her exposed chest.

"Lucy, I…"

She saw the question in his eyes, _Is this really okay?_

She smiled. "It's like you said. I'm yours, remember?"

**\-------EXPLICIT CONTENT BEGINS--------**

Those words severed his restraints. Natsu sat until they were sitting chest to chest on the floor. He buried his face against her neck, hot kisses drifting into her collar bone. One hand pushed against her back. The other skimmed across her chest, fingertips gliding effortlessly across her breast. She arched against him, eyes lidded with a dizzying pleasure. He kissed between her breasts. Lucy whimpered.

The sound only seemed to ignite whatever flames he'd tried so hard to extinguish. His hand caressed her right breast, his lips closing around her left nipple. Lucy's gasp lilted so high the noise could've reached the ends of the world and back.

This wasn't anything like the books she'd read. No amount of prose could've prepared her for the lavish heat coursing through her veins, nor for the tingles of pleasure dancing between the bumps of her spine.

He drew back to inspect her face. He must've found whatever he needed there, because Natsu's lips curled into a smile, and suddenly he was kissing her again, one hand tangled in her hair, the other kneading her breast.

Lucy's hands drifted beneath his shirt, lifting the material with climbing desperation. He broke their kiss just long enough to undress, his lips crashing against hers mere seconds after.

In a test of bold courage, Lucy's hand drifted low against his chest. Her fingers brushed his arousal, hot and throbbing. Tingles walked her spine. She curled her fingers around him, stroking his length with surprising grace. Natsu moaned against her mouth. _Actually moaned._

They undressed in a tangle of kisses and soft touches, Lucy's hands roaming his chest, his shoulders, his back. She pressed her naked body against him, their chests heaving in one fell of heavy heartbeats. He laid her back gently and, with an ease that seemed practiced, Natsu's hand drifted between Lucy's legs.

She gasped a moan. He dipped a finger inside the slick warmth between her legs, slowly, ripples of nervous pleasure flowing through her. Lucy covered her face and drowned in the embarrassment of dreams turned reality.

"Lucy..." His eyes sought permission.

Lucy peered between fingers. She nodded, breathless.

Natsu eased himself inside her, gradual, gentle, layers of discomfort dissolving into something hot and tense and blissful. Lucy curled her fingers around his neck, her gaze locked with his own. Natsu placed his forehead against hers.

She didn't know when it happened, but one second he was kissing her again, soft and loving, and the next he was pressing her against the wall. Lucy squeezed her legs around his waist, her fingers a tangle in his hair. He kissed her neck, sucking skin, teeth grazing and biting.

Lucy gasped hot breaths. Nerves fizzled to ecstasy, the taste of his mouth delightful, the feel of his hands burning. As if sensing the change in her body, Natsu's hips rocked faster, his hands clutching her backside. She dug her heels into his back.

"Natsu," she panted.

He growled her name, the sound so distant, so tainted with lust, Lucy didn't fully comprehend it. Everything in the world slowed to a spiraling halt. She felt like she'd been here before, as though thousands of lives suddenly blended together. In every one, she'd tasted the warmth of his skin and basked in the radiance of his love.

Their home filled with sounds of bodies colliding and breathless moaning. Lucy tugged his hair and gasped, colours beyond Earth Land coalescing behind hooded eyes. She must've pulled a little too hard, because Natsu lost his balance. They hit the ground hard, laughter exploding between them.

And so ended their first act of physical love.

**\-------EXPLICIT CONTENT ENDS--------**

Natsu rolled beside her, exasperated, his voice _actually_ strained. Lucy spotted something partially unfurled beneath the couch. She reached for it, opening the flyer with renewed curiosity.

"Oh, it's the job he gave us," she whispered.

 _He_ being the owner of Bar Sun.

"I forgot all about it," Natsu said.

Lucy curled into him, snuggled warm against his side. Natsu stole the flyer from her hand and read it.

"It's in a village not far from here. Maybe we should check it out," Natsu said.

"We should check with Bar Sun first."

He nodded. His gaze darted across her naked body, following beads of sweat that rolled with every savored breath. He trailed fingers across her hip and thigh.

"Are you okay?" he asked seriously.

Lucy walked her fingertips over his chest. "Mhm. Are you?"

"No."

Lucy's stomach flared with cold fear. "What's wrong?"

He cradled her tight against him, his heart pounding.

"I'm still hungry," he said.

Lucy smacked his chest. "You're an _idiot_."

He kissed her again, firm, purposeful. Lucy felt the _hunger_ he'd mentioned brush against her stomach. She shuddered.

"Y-you can't possibly be hungry after..."

Natsu grinned against her mouth. "You know me, Lucy. I always have room for dessert."


	15. Hand in Hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little shorter than the others because it's paving the way for a bigger chunk of the story. I've also been feeling a little under the weather, so I didn't want to push myself too much. I hope you enjoy it all the same. We're getting closer to the end now!

Dreamless nights guarded Natsu like demons watching the gates of Hell. Sometimes, on colder nights, he thought they might offer him a glimpse, but all he saw now was fire and nothing. An endless void awaited him beyond the darkness. A reminder that he was nothing. Nobody. Just a host for Zeref's wicked magic. All he could do was sit and wait, trammeled by fear and remorse. Throbbing guilt festered like gaping wounds, rotten, bleeding, excruciating. Reality and sleep blurred together.

He stared vacantly at the ceiling, inhaling shadows and suspicions. Ever since he and Lucy shared themselves completely—bodies and souls—Zeref visited him less and less, creating these meaningless voids where night and day served only time and nothing else. It bothered him. And he hated that it bothered him.

Had his brother abandoned him?

Natsu cursed inwardly. What a stupid thought. Zeref abandoned Natsu _long_ before they clashed in wars and dreams. He'd turned Natsu into a monster. A puppet with strings so black and broken he could barely move a finger, let alone the course of destiny.

Rolling onto his side, Natsu stole a glance at Lucy's dreaming face. She breathed softly, smiling beneath skeins of loose blonde hair. Natsu touched a tender kiss to her forehead, gentle enough that he wouldn't wake her, but firm enough to reach her beyond the veil of dreams and deceptions. He mussed Happy's fur and climbed out of bed, tiptoeing across the bedroom floor. He closed the door successfully behind him.

He made a beeline for the fridge, his midnight salvation, and swung it open to find it empty. He sighed. That's right, their lease ended today. He located their packs assembled by the door and acquired a sneaky tub of leftovers.

Natsu popped the lid and stole a quick handful of rice peppered in spices. He sneezed. Frozen, Natsu's head whipped to the doorway. He listened, waited. Silence joined him in quiet solidarity.

Safe!

Natsu stood nimbly, executing long strides across the floor. He'd almost reached the kitchen when a voice whispered his name: " _Natsu Dragneel_."

Floorboards creaked in the low light, darkness shivering across that god awful carpet. Natsu paused mid-step. His back to the voice, he lowered the tub of food slowly, recalling with distinct clarity Lucy's warning: _We're leaving early, so don't unpack anything._ Arms raised in surrender.

"Lucy, I can ex—"

"What are your intentions with my daughter?"

Natsu whirled on his heel. "Your what?"

Loke hopped onto the arm of the loveseat, one leg propped over the other, his expression hard. "What are your intentions with Lucy?"

"Why would I have intentions?"

"I know what you've been up to." Loke half-smirked, clearly torn between his friendship with Lucy and the suave reputation he'd built in Fairy Tail. "Should I repeat myself?"

Natsu's brain reeled for answers. He searched so deep into the back of his mind he uncovered memories of the womb, incubating slowly with flashes of a life he'd forgotten. Words failed him.

"I'm so jealous!" Loke yelled suddenly.

"Keep it down. Lucy's asleep."

"Lucy is special to us," Loke said.

And by us, of course he meant the other spirits.

"I know that," Natsu said, mildly insulted.

"But don't be fooled by her smile," Loke said. "Until you've felt the true extent of Lucy's feelings, you won't be able to protect her. Some things are buried so deep in the soul not even the gods can retrieve them."

Now he was _really_ insulted. "Are you saying I can't protect her?"

"The bond we share as Lucy's spirits comes from a magical place. The raw essence of magic thrives on love, and Lucy's feelings determine our strength. Our weakness. When her magic fails, we sense it immediately. She is the crux of our power." Loke smiled wryly. "And now you're hers."

Natsu inhaled an arctic breath. "How long have you known?"

"It's not my place to meddle. As much as it pains me to sit back and do nothing, after Karen, I'm unable to..."

"It's okay," Natsu said. "You don't have to explain."

"For her, there is nothing I won't do, Natsu. Even if it means fighting you."

Natsu's fists clenched tight. "I know."

Loke tipped his head towards the packs littering the floor, his eyes never leaving Natsu's face.

"Running away?" he asked.

"Lucy and I got another job."

"Wait, really? How come she didn't tell me about this?"

"Because you're not really her _father_ ," Natsu jibed.

"Hey, Lucy is my one and only owner," Loke said. "I'll protect her like a father, brother, and a lover if I have to."

Natsu bristled. "Owner, huh? What are you, Lucy's pet?"

Loke flashed teeth. "Jealousy's your colour, Natsu."

So he wanted to play games, huh? Natsu could play games. As long as Lucy didn't wake up. And nobody told her about it. Actually, on second thought, Natsu didn't feel like playing games anymore.

"What do you want, Loke?"

"How is Lucy feeling?" he asked seriously.

Natsu laid down his ire and brandished sympathy instead. "Why don't you ask her yourself? Are you two fighting?"

Loke smiled to himself. "Fighting? You wish. Lucy and I are closer than _ever_."

The way he said it set Natsu's heart racing with an odd medley of frustration and amusement. He _knew_ Loke was teasing him, knew it deep down in his bones. After what happened in the Domus Flau, Loke frequently _tested_ his connection with Lucy, popping in and out of the apartment with little notice. Even though he knew this, pieces of Natsu's body, the parts of him well acquainted with Lucy, tensed in silent protest.

Loke grabbed his arm. "Stay close to her," he said. "She's going to need you."

The faintest chill tiptoed across Natsu's spine. "What's wrong with her? Did she say something to you?"

Loke shook his head. "You know how Lucy is. She puts her whole heart into something and then..." He made an explosive gesture with his hands. "It breaks her."

Natsu didn't need Lucy's smarts to know he was talking about Aquarius. He'd thought something was off from the start. Loke's insistence on sending them to that waterfall, the vague clues and runaround. He'd given Lucy hope, but at what cost? There was no guarantee that Aquarius's key was even available. And if it was, whose to say it'd be easy to get.

"You know something," Natsu said.

Loke's brows tented. "Of course I do."

"Then you should say something to Lucy."

"It's against the rules, you know that," Loke said. "Besides, Aquarius doesn't _want_ Lucy to find her."

"What?"

"Sometimes, when we spend too long living in the past, we lose sight of the future," Loke said.

"What the hell does that mean?" Natsu reached for Loke, fingers passing through air. "Damn it! Don't just disappear like that."

Natsu's chest stiffened with threads of worry pulled much too tight. What was the right thing to do? Should he tell Lucy to stop searching? If Aquarius didn't want to be found, what were the chances she ever would be? He didn't wanna see Lucy hurt. But this was her journey.

And it was her choice.

Natsu stared at the flyer on the coffee table. Lucky for them, Old Man Sun still needed someone to make the trip, though it was a different round of supplies this time. Southeast of Crocus, Lotus Village sat low in the mountainous region, surrounded by caves and bumpy terrain, making it impossible for wagons to access. Natsu had never even heard of the place.

"Who were you talking to just now?"

Natsu started.

Lucy rubbed her eyes, half-leaning against the bedroom door. She shuffled into the room.

"Nobody," he said.

Her adjusting eyes snapped to the floor. "That better not be food."

Natsu cleared his throat. "You're dreaming."

"If that were true, you'd be standing over here right now." She beckoned with a single finger.

Swallowing hard, Natsu stepped across the room, leaving his prize on the floor behind him. He stepped within arm's length, edging closer with every bend of her finger. She grabbed his scarf and pulled him closer. She leaned in as if to kiss him, her lips ghosting his cheek. Warm breath tickled his ear.

"Unpack our things again," she whispered, "and I'll make sure you never _eat_ again."

Natsu shuddered. "Yes ma'am."

"Now come back to bed."

"Were you feeling lonely?" he teased.

She rolled her eyes in mock frustration, but Lucy's sweet voice answered, "Of course I was. Did you learn nothing from our year apart, Natsu Dragneel?"

Natsu's heart skipped a beat. His only intentions were to love her until the universe ceased to exist.

No. He'd love her even then.

* * *

A day's ride from Crocus, Lotus Village emerged like a mystical mirage, veiled in silken clouds and soft shimmers of dawn. Tiers of waterfalls cascaded like glittering curtains from the distant skies, parting to reveal caverns of twinkling lights deep within the horizon. Light scintillated off clear waters, blushing pink amidst the wakening sunrise. Scant few houses dotted the lush terrain, summer flowers swaying in waves of bright colours and fragrant kisses.

"It's so beautiful," Lucy said.

Natsu grunted beneath the weight of his pack. This delivery sure as hell better be worth it. He'd never carried so much crap before. Lucy saw it as just punishment for his role in the steady decline of their rations.

Happy soared higher to gain a better vantage. "Do you think anybody lives here?"

"The delivery is for his brother, isn't it?" Lucy said. " _Somebody_ must live here."

"It's the total opposite of Crocus," Natsu put in.

Where Crocus was all stone and crowds, Lotus Village had few houses, populated by luscious fields and dazzling waters. Natsu felt like he'd stepped into one of Lucy's favourite stories.

"I see a path," Happy yelled.

They followed Happy's shadow until they reached an opening in one of the falls. They traversed flagstone pathways, meandering between vast gardens and beautiful houses made of veined marble and pure stone. Vines and moss clung to wooden overhangs, overlapping walls and balconies, weaving an endless blanket of green. Everywhere he looked, Natsu saw hues so vibrant it hurt to stare too long.

"It's like a daydream," Lucy said, swinging her arms as she walked.

"They must have lots of yummy food," Happy said.

"An inn would be better," Lucy said. "My feet hurt."

Natsu adjusted the pack on his back and swallowed an eager retort. His conversation with Loke clung like webs of spiders, skittering across his mind with every quiet opportunity.

Lucy stretched her arms overhead and yawned. Natsu caught a glimpse of the ring on her finger, a small smile edging onto his lips. It wasn't uncommon to find her playing with it these days, as though every thought, every feeling, lived within their promise.

They crossed a magnificent stone bridge into a bustling marketplace. Families and friends wandered in and out of tiny stores. It seemed they were used to tourists, offering only polite smiles and hellos as they passed. It was no surprise. Everything about Lotus Village coruscated magic and miracles. One of Earthland's many hidden gems.

Pathways converged into one great plaza, performers dancing and singing to gathering audiences. They stopped by a nearby pond.

"This place is like a painting," Lucy said. "I can't believe how..."

Natsu followed her gaze to where a single well sat in the middle of gargling streams and randomly apportioned ponds. Fish of all colours swam in the crystal waters. Happy skimmed the waters with a paw, toying with the fish. Lucy motioned for him to stop.

"Lucy?" Natsu pressed.

Happy touched a paw to Lucy's forehead. "Does something hurt, Lucy?"

She touched her chest almost reflexively, and Natsu's mind ached with horrors of nightmares long past. He shook the images from mind, burned away terrors of red threads and oozing lifeblood.

"Do you wanna make a wish?" Natsu offered.

Lucy brightened at the idea. "I don't think we should trespass. It looks kind of old, doesn't it?"

Now that she mentioned it, the stones were noticeably cracked. It was probably the oldest thing in the village.

Natsu offered his hand. "Let's keep moving, Lucy."

She took the hand, a soft smile warming her eyes. In times like this, all he could do was hold her hand.

_'Don't be fooled by her smile.'_

"Hey, you'd tell us if you were feeling unwell, right?" Natsu said.

Happy glided along between them. "Yeah, Lucy. Don't hold it in if you have a tummy ache."

"I'm fine," she said.

A lie.

"Let's check the flyer and see if we can find this guy," Natsu said, rummaging in a pocket. He withdrew the flyer and scanned the address scrawled on the back. What difference did it make? The signposts here made no sense. Every house looked the same.

"Miss Heartfilia?"

Lucy stopped walking. Surprise and awe shifted on Lucy's face, but not the kind of shock requiring flames and fists. It took her a moment, but she recognised the man walking their way, her eyes lighting up with sudden joy.

About Gildarts's age, the man that greeted them wore pants covered in dirt, his shirt torn from hard labour.

"You know this guy, Lucy?" Natsu asked.

"I don't believe this," Lucy said. "That's him. The man who told me about the key merchant."

"The guy from Onibus Town?" Natsu recalled.

Lucy nodded.

The man approached them eagerly. He held up a filthy hand, so bashful it left Natsu feeling moderately guilty for suspecting him of bad intentions.

"What are the chances we'd meet again so soon?" The man grinned. "What brings you to my humble village?"

"There's nothing humble about this place," Lucy said.

"Yeah, it's pretty impressive."

"There're _so many_ fish!" Happy exclaimed.

"I'm honoured you think so," the man said. "Oh, where are my manners? My name is Kaito Sun. It's a pleasure to meet you again, miss Heartfilia. And company."

"Please, call me Lucy," she said, following with brief introductions of said _company_. "Actually, we're here to deliver supplies from—"

"Oh! You're right on time! Tending gardens is difficult without the proper tools. Hard to buy supplies when you live in the middle of nowhere. Living here can be tough without the right connections. Travelling's the only way sometimes."

That's right, Lucy had mentioned something about the man at Onibus Bar being a seasoned traveler and collector.

Natsu dumped the pack on the ground, relieved they'd found the right person. Or, rather, that the right person had found them. Kaito took the supplies gratefully.

"Please, come with me to receive your payment," he said.

They followed Kaito along a series of narrow paths leading through fields of crops and people, all of them waving fondly whenever they saw him pass. It was clear to Natsu that this man was beloved, and perhaps more important than he gave himself credit for. Whatever fate had in store for Kaito and Lucy, it was strong enough now that they'd met twice by pure coincidence.

They stopped at a beautiful stone house with arched windows surrounded by rippling grasslands filled with unkempt weeds and flowers. People didn't live in this place. Nature did. They were simply visitors, at best.

"Daddy!"

A young girl emerged from the grass, clad in stained overalls and scuffed trainers. Kaito plucked her from the ground and twirled her overhead. She squealed delightfully, blonde hair twirling around her cherubic face. She couldn't have been much older than ten or eleven.

Kaito lowered his daughter to the ground. "Alina, there's someone here that I'd like you to meet."

She turned with the motion of his hand. Natsu registered confusion, then surprise, then something so close to elation it brought Alina to tears.

"Lucy?" she dared to ask.

"Don't be shy," Kaito said. "Miss Heartfilia is delivering supplies to our village today. You should say thank you."

Alina shuffled closer, reticent, blue eyes fixed to the ground. "Thank you," she whispered.

Lucy bent forward, palms on her thighs. "I hear you wanna join Fairy Tail when you're older," she said.

Alina's head snapped up. "Do you think I can?"

Lucy beamed. "Of course you can."

Natsu couldn't help but feel a little left out. It must've shown, because Happy dropped onto his shoulder to offer a comforting smile.

"Don't worry, Natsu. I'll always be your biggest fan," he whispered.

"Thanks, buddy."

The girls chatted for a while, talking about magic and guilds and family. Nobody dared to intrude on what could only be described as a sacred conversation.

"Oh." Alina reached suddenly for Aquarius's key dangling loose between them. "It's the same."

Natsu's blood froze solid in his veins.

Lucy didn't move. Alina twisted the broken key between her fingers, gently admiring the smooth patterns. After a moment, she removed something from the pocket of her overalls. Held up in the light, the object sparkled solid gold and shimmered with crushed hopes.

Aquarius's key.


	16. An Eternal Bond

"It's the same."

It took an eternity for the words to register in Lucy's mind. Alina's fingers closed around Aquarius's broken key, twirling the chain with more than curiosity. She studied intently, admiring the broken shaft, testing the weight in her hand. Blood rushed to Lucy's ears, pounding beneath hot cheeks. She took a shallow breath.

_'My daughter is a huge fan.'_

Alina withdrew a small key from her pocket, so familiar it stole what remained of Lucy's oxygen. Her knees buckled, legs crumpling like paper. She caught herself on one knee, stomach roiling, heart unraveling in violent breaths. Nausea burned with bile and bitter sorrow.

_'Actually, she practices holder magic just like you.'_

The pieces dropped into place like an elaborate puzzle created with the intention of fooling her. Lucy heaved, struggling for breath, desperately trying to see beyond the haze of disappointment. From the very beginning...

_'I just spent a number of days in Clover Town.'_

Aquarius had always been out of reach.

Natsu and Happy raced to Lucy's side. Both helped her stand, Natsu gently reassuring Alina that everything was okay. Lucy wobbled to her feet.

How could she do this to them? How could she feel so _lonely_ when they stood beside her, caring for her, _loving_ her so tenderly?

But she did. Dark and festering, the loneliness crept in from the very edges of Lucy's mind, from the deep shadows of harsh regrets and unspoken plights. She was suspended in that darkness. Lost. Alone.

"Is she all right?" Kaito asked.

"We walked a long way," Natsu deflected. "She must be tired."

"Lucy, can you stand?" Happy asked her.

Lucy straightened. "I'm okay. Sorry."

Alina pressed Aquarius's key gently into Lucy's palm. For just a fleeting moment, Lucy dared to imagine, dared to believe she'd been reunited with her friend. She closed her eyes, absorbed the cold smoothness of Aquarius's key, remembered the blissful warmth of their shared power. Whole. Brimming with magic. A single tear rolled down her cheek.

"Why are you crying, Lucy?" asked Alina.

Lucy forced a smile. "Did you sign a contract with her?"

"With the mermaid?" Alina beamed proudly. "Daddy brought her back from his long trip. She's my best friend in the whole world."

Alina tapped the keys together. Lucy showed her the broken key, barely managing to hold her fingers steady. Every inch of her body trembled with no regard for the little girl standing before her. She wanted to break down and cry. To scream about the unfairness of it all. Nothing about this seemed right.

Memories ravaged Lucy's mind. Flickers of hot baths and long battles. They'd been through so much together. Experienced so many things. Lucy had needed Aquarius back then, needed her so much it hurt to admit it. And now, Alina needed her too.

It was time to let her go.

"Do you want to know a secret?" Lucy asked.

Alina nodded, that former shyness creeping in. "Can I?"

Lucy dared to smile. "Actually, Aquarius and I used to be good friends," she said. "I'm sure she was very lonely until she met you."

"Really?" Alina's eyes glistened. "She was your friend, too?"

Lucy nodded, barely holding back tears. Natsu squeezed her shoulder, allowing her a moment to grieve. She told herself it was okay. That all of this would be okay.

"When I was small, Aquarius watched over me. She was family. And if you take care of each other, you'll grow stronger too. Together, I have no doubt that you'll be able to join Fairy Tail. So protect her, and she'll always protect you."

Alina's heart overflowed with clear joy. "Okay! I'll work hard to protect her!"

"Would you like to stay for breakfast?" Kaito asked them.

Natsu's stomach growled behind Lucy, a traitorous sound that, for just a fleeting moment, reminded her of the present. Of the things she needed to do _right now_.

"I would hate to intrude," she said, slowly rising to her feet.

"Please, I insist."

"Will you stay?" Alina pleaded.

"Okay," Lucy breathed. She could hardly say no.

They made it through a long, exhausting breakfast, with Alina asking no end of questions about Aquarius and Lucy's other keys. She deigned to answer them all, struggling through tales of childhood antics and dangerous battles. Once or twice Lucy had to stop herself from crying. And once or twice more Natsu cut in with a distraction.

After washing dishes, Lucy introduced Alina to little Plue, who reveled in all the fuss and attention. It was reassuring to see Alina care so much for her spirit. She had a big heart, perhaps even bigger than Lucy's. Aquarius would be fine in her care.

Giving Lucy a moment with Alina, Natsu and Happy helped Kaito move some of the heavier supplies, taking the time to view his vast collection of magical items along the way. Every now and then Lucy heard a faint _wow_ or _cool_ in the distant hallways.

"Thanks for playing with me," Alina said, rubbing Plue's belly. He mewled happily. "Mamma's too sick to play games with me right now."

Lucy's broken heart dissolved to dust. "I'm having lots of fun," she said.

"We don't know why she got so sick, but daddy's research is going to save her," Alina said.

So the puzzle was much greater than Kaito and his _hobbies_. He was searching for something to save his wife. Lucy placed a loving hand on Alina's head, wishing, _longing_ , to be of comfort. Aquarius's key was more than a magical gift for Alina. It was a friend.

"Should we play outside?" Alina said.

"That would be nice."

They played long until sunset, eating and laughing under the warmth of a radiant sun. Happy carried Alina through the skies, Natsu chasing her through the garden at top speeds. Lucy watched in quiet contentment, listening to childish laughter and careless words. She would burn this memory into her mind. The memory of a lonely child who needed a friend. It would be a comfort to her on lonely nights.

As the sun set, Lucy prepared to give her farewells, with Kaito insisting they stay the night. Natsu was quick to save her, asking for directions to the inn—for which Kaito happily obliged. It was the least he could do, or so he said. They stood in the Sun's living room now, surrounded by lavish decor and heavy hearts.

"Do you have to leave?" Alina asked, squeezing Lucy tightly.

"I'm sorry. We have to continue our journey now." Lucy smoothed Alina's hair. "We'll see each other again soon, won't we? Keep working hard."

Alina nodded. "I'm going to join Fairy Tail for sure!"

Lucy's heart blossomed with new feelings. Gentle and soft. Despite everything, she wanted Alina to succeed.

"That's a promise," she said, offering her pinkie.

They sealed the promise.

"Lucy, it's time to go," Natsu called from the doorway.

Lucy stepped towards him. "Thank you for having us."

"You're welcome here anytime," Kaito said.

Alina pressed something into Lucy's hand. "Wait."

Lucy paused. Aquarius's key tingled with warmth in her palm, a reminder of everything she'd lost, and everything she'd worked so hard to achieve. She couldn't explain it, but it felt almost like Aquarius's heart was trying to reach her. So warm.

"Aquarius doesn't want you to be sad," Alina said quietly. "I can feel it. She misses you too."

Lucy barely suppressed her tears. She offered a quick smile and pushed the key back into Alina's hand.

"Take care of yourself," she said.

With goodbyes long behind them, Lucy all but sprinted across the beautiful garden, stumbling over flagstone paths and knots of bramble and weeds. She picked up speed, running away from her feelings, from her regrets, from her tears. She emerged in the plaza too quickly. Blurs of colour swam in ponds on either side of her, the soft gargle of streams rousing her pain in bursts of sharp breaths. Natsu's voice called after her, worried, afraid. Footsteps beat along the path behind her.

White noise filled Lucy's head, emotions returning like soft trickles of water dripping from a leak in her brain. She'd held it in for so long. In that moment, Lucy saw nothing. Felt nothing. And for the briefest heartbeat, she embraced the void, let it consume her entirely.

She couldn't outrun it anymore.

Tears burned hot on Lucy's face. She collapsed to her knees, breathless, defeated, _selfish_. And like the daughter who lost her mother, who resented her father, who ran away from a life of luxury, Lucy threw back her head and shrieked.

Footsteps closed in behind her. She felt their approach, heard it beneath hot beats of woeful tears.

Natsu placed a hand on Lucy's shoulder. "You did good," he whispered. "That must've been really hard for you."

She squeezed his hand. "I know. I know I did the right thing. But it hurts, Natsu. It hurts so much."

"Lucy!" Happy barreled into Lucy's arms.

"I love you," she sobbed.

"It's okay, Lucy. Just let it all out," Natsu said.

"Honestly, you're such a whiny brat."

Lucy's heart stopped. The group turned as one. Aquarius sat on the edge of a nearby pond, her back to Lucy, blue scales submerged in the crystal water. She cupped a handful and let it spill between her fingers. Lucy rubbed her eyes, blinking hot tears and disbelief. This was real. Aquarius was real.

Natsu helped Lucy stand and gave her the push she needed. She approached sheepishly, a little girl again. Unafraid but shy. Aquarius turned to face her, a hint of softness hidden behind those fiery blue eyes.

"Lucy," she greeted.

Aquarius opened her arms and beckoned with the softest of smiles. Time stopped. Lucy didn't move for the longest time, didn't breathe. And then she fell into Aquarius's arms, wailing. Aquarius smoothed her hair.

"Were you lonely?" she whispered.

Lucy couldn't even voice an answer. She simply wept, clinging to Aquarius like a long lost dream. Happy burst into tears behind them.

Aquarius touched a warm hand to Lucy's face. "You're still such a crybaby."

"I'm sorry," Lucy hiccuped.

Aquarius lifted Lucy's hand to inspect the ring on her finger. "I see you finally got yourself a man, Lucy. And here I thought you'd be single forever." Her gaze slid dangerously to Natsu, who took a noticeable step back. "Is he treating you well?"

"He is," Lucy said.

"Good, because I know where he lives," Aquarius said.

Natsu took another step backwards, Happy floating close behind him. Neither one said a word. Lucy giggled.

"I'm proud of you, Lucy," Aquarius said seriously.

Lucy swallowed more tears. Her broken pieces burned hot, moulding into a newer, bigger heart. Unbreakable. Everything seemed so perfect; exactly as it should be. It hurt to remind herself that all of this was only temporary.

"We were never supposed to meet like this," Aquarius confessed. "I didn't want to see you again. Holding you back was never my intention."

"We almost didn't," Lucy said.

"But know this, Lucy. No matter where you are, I'm always with you. That will always be true."

Aquarius traced Lucy's chain with deft fingers. Lucy removed the necklace, letting Aquarius's key fall into her upturned palm. She clasped the chain back into place, the lock falling light against her chest.

"What are you doing?"

Lucy set the broken key into Aquarius's hand. "It's yours. It belongs with you."

"You brat..."

"Walking away from you is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done," Lucy said. "But it's something I have to do."

Aquarius embraced Lucy once more, lingering just a fraction too long. Lucy's resolve melted like snow in summer, rippling in cold waves across her mending heart. She drowned in it. Suffocating.

"I love you, Aquarius," she whispered.

Aquarius cupped Lucy's face in her hands. "Right now, you look just like your mother."

Somehow, those words were enough.

Lucy took a cautionary step back, allowing herself a time of grief, to reflect on the past and long for a different future. For a world where Aquarius was still hers. Maybe it was selfish to dream. Maybe it was cruel. But Lucy wanted so badly for it to be true.

"When two hearts are connected by an eternal bond, they're destined to reunite with each other," Aquarius said. "This isn't goodbye, Lucy. We will meet again someday."

"It was good seeing you," Natsu said quietly.

Aquarius glowered. She curled a single finger, motioning him closer.

"Oh no, no," she threatened. "You and I aren't quite done yet."

Natsu audibly _gulped_.

"Lucy, give me a minute with your man. _Alone_."

* * *

The trio sat together in hushed darkness, welcoming the quiet, relishing the empty silence. Baskets of beautiful flowers hung from corners of their room, complimenting the wooden furnishings and luscious carpets. Lucy counted the swirls on the ceiling.

She fidgeted on the bed. Emotions flared under her skin, too wild to tame, too difficult to conquer. She'd cried so much already. She owed Natsu a sign of strength. She'd promised him a future.

But a future without Aquarius? It all seemed so surreal. So empty. She'd never imagined they'd return home without that key. It just didn't seem possible. And yet, Lucy knew she'd done the right thing. She had to let Aquarius go.

"Are you okay?" Natsu asked her. His gaze dropped to her chain.

Lucy twirled the lock around her finger. "I'm okay."

"You were really brave, Lucy," Happy praised.

Lucy suppressed a smile, afraid the slightest change of expression would bring on the tears buried deep down inside herself. She'd cried for the duration of their walk, offering Aquarius one last goodbye. She could still feel the warmth of their embrace.

"I'm sorry," Natsu said. His brow furrowed.

"Are you okay?" she asked him.

"Fine," he said.

He didn't look fine, but Lucy let is slide. She caressed his cheek.

"It's my fault this is happening," he said. "I promised we'd find Aquarius."

"And we did. Thanks to you, I got to see Aquarius one last time."

"That's not what I wanted."

Happy pushed between them. "We'll always be together."

They turned to him, all smiles.

"Of course," Lucy said.

"We promised," Natsu said, stealing an obvious glimpse of Lucy's ring.

Lucy didn't know what to say. What to think. It was only natural she missed Aquarius. After all, Lucy's spirits weren't magical tools. They were companions. Family. And walking away from family was difficult when all she'd ever wanted was to love and be loved in return. That kind of feeling, that kind of _magic_ , could not be broken. Not by distance. Not ever.

"We should sleep," she said.

It had been an awfully long day. Lucy hadn't slept much during their travels, not that sleep would be attainable now. She didn't dare to dream of Aquarius. Or Zeref. She just wanted to be alone. To forget the things that plagued her. That made her human.

They curled up in the bed, Lucy's thoughts awake while the others slept. After a long while, Natsu rolled into her left side, his hand draping across her stomach. Lucy rolled into him, their faces close.

He was awake.

Natsu's hands found hers under the blankets. He pressed something cold into her hand. Something broken. Lucy's eyes widened. There was no mistaking the shape of the object in her hand.

"This belongs to you," he said.

Lucy gripped Aquarius's broken key too tightly, her knuckles white hot. Natsu cupped her fist, tracing her skin with soft thumbs.

"I'm so lucky to have you," she said.

"I'm sorry, Lucy."

"For what?"

Natsu pressed his forehead against hers. "I'm sorry we couldn't bring Aquarius home."

Lucy smiled, and this time it was so genuine her heart almost couldn't take it. She cupped his cheek in her empty hand.

"I don't think this journey was ever really about finding Aquarius," she whispered.

Natsu gazed into her eyes, searching for answers.

"I'd been holding onto so many painful feelings, Natsu. Being here with you, travelling with you, it allowed me to share those things. To heal what was broken. I needed to search in order to find what I had lost. I promised you forever. If that means giving a little girl somebody to love, I'm okay with that. Even though it hurts, I want to be stronger. I want to be someone who can do the right thing, no matter what."

Whether that meant saying goodbye to Aquarius, or stopping Natsu when the time comes. Lucy's heart needed to be sure.

"You are strong, Lucy."

She smiled. "Because of you."

"No." Natsu shook his head. "You've always been strong."

* * *

Lucy sat by the old well, twirling her fingers through the cool water. Zeref watched her from the darkness. No longer a child, he offered no words as she mourned the loss of Aquarius once more. He simply stood in silence. A soldier grieving the loss of another.

"What do you want to say?" Lucy asked him.

Zeref shook his head. "I fear you misunderstand me. I'm simply here to observe things as they unfold."

"What do you mean?"

The thread on Lucy's dress began to unravel. She held the material closed, surprised at the burning pain in her chest, as though each thread pricked skin and muscle. Blood pooled beneath the white cloth, clinging hot and heavy. She gasped a breath, steam blowing from her mouth into the cold.

"What is this?" she asked.

Zeref gestured to flames in the distance, moving closer as if they were alive. And they were. Natsu emerged from the shadows, crimson eyes burning from a scaled complexion. Flames licked his body, twisting like horns above his head. His gaze snapped to hers. Serpentine and wicked. Lost.

"Lucy," he said.

She dropped the bundle of thread. "Natsu?"

"It's almost time," Zeref whispered. "You have nothing left to lose."

Lucy rushed at him, through him, tumbling deep down into darkness. Natsu's flames rose up to meet her. Violent.

She woke with a start.

Sweat trickled between Lucy's breasts. She slowed her breathing. Talk about inopportune timing. It wasn't like Zeref to cut to the chase like that.

Lucy rolled into the middle of the bed, arms searching. She discovered Natsu's scarf, drawing the material close to her face. It came all too easily.

_Wait._

Lucy shot upright, frantic. Her eyes scanned the darkness. She stared at the scarf in her hands, abandoned. Happy woke suddenly. They shared a panicked look.

Natsu was gone.


	17. Broken Threads

_Drip._

Natsu's eyes snapped open. Shadows unfurled like plumy black wings, soaring into the orange light far below. Purple darkness filled every crevice of Natsu’s dreams. He thought to take a step, but his feet touched nothing, tiptoeing across midair. He lurched forward, attempting to walk, attempting to _move_. Crimson tendrils twisted across his arms, coiling like snakes between his fingers and wrenched tight around his upper-body. They stuck like inviolable ink to his skin, latching deep and hot.

Vines. 

Natsu’s legs swung free in the darkness. Curling smoke rose from the village beneath his swaying feet. It chastely kissed his lips, passing uninvited across his skin, filling his nose with a pungent stench. He coughed. The vines stiffened. Thorns pierced bone and flesh, dripping blood through the desolate sky. He couldn’t escape. 

_Drip._

Blood trickled between opened fingers, vines twisting tighter, _tighter_. He gulped sharp breaths. Every drop splattered like rain, gathering in soft pools on the inky ground. Red and white shimmered under the waning moonlight. Fog wafted into Natsu’s mind, dizzying, empty. He reminded himself to breathe. 

_Drip. Drip. Drip._

He had to wake up now. 

Lucy needed him.

The vines on his waist receded, shifting across his arms to manacle his wrists, squeezing bloody fingers too tight. Fresh thorns bit Natsu’s wrists. His pulse raced, ushering hot blood through his veins. He winced.

“Lucy!” he screamed.

Damn it! He’d promised Aquarius he’d take care of her. He’d promised!

Natsu flailed his legs, kicking, swinging, twisting. The vines loosened, dropping him through the air like a comet plunging towards Earth Land, ready to decimate everything in a violent rage. Until they caught him again. The vines snatched his leg, flinging him upside down. Natsu retched with the violent motion. Vines weren’t friends. 

Thorny limbs caged his arms, lowering him gently to the ground. Zeref waited below, hands clasped together. Crimson eyes watched Natsu like rubies without sparkle. Soulless. 

“I see you and the seed are getting along nicely.”

Natsu didn’t grace him with an answer. 

“You’re so quick to panic.” Zeref’s voice echoed the concerns of a big brother, but Natsu spit at the sincerity of those words. “This is part of you. Bond with it, don’t fight it.” 

“I’m not panicking.”

Zeref stared through Natsu’s mendacity with a smile that made him wonder if the lie had scribbled itself clear on his forehead. “You’re capable of freeing yourself, you know.” He made an open gesture with his hands, like opening a box or—no, something rising.

Oh. Right. _Fire._

Not ready to admit his own idiocy, Natsu let the vines loop and knot against his chest, slivering uncomfortably hard across his ribs. 

“Where am I??” he croaked.

Zeref made an exaggerated show of examining the darkness. Natsu squirmed. 

_Drip._

“The more you pull, the more they bite,” Zeref said. “It’s quite poetic, if you think about it. Like a drowning man struggling on the ocean floor. He knows he’ll never make it to the surface, but still his arms move, and his lungs burn for that last breath. And oh, how deliciously awful it is when he concedes.” 

“What is this?”

“Your last respite, I suppose.”

Natsu’s blood boiled, hissing with every spilled drop. “You suppose?”

“The seed has sprouted. Emotions feed magic, Natsu. Fuel it. You’ve nurtured it well, brother.” Zeref’s voice lilted almost ruefully. “Tell me, when you emerge from this cocoon, what kind of man will you be?” 

_Drip. Drip. Drip._

Vines squeezed tighter. Natsu gasped a breath, blood dribbling between clenched teeth. He tugged hard. The flames wouldn’t come. Pain stabbed through him, biting skin and muscle and bone. He screamed. Thorns embedded deep within muscle, threatening to tear him apart. Escaping now would kill him. 

“I’ll kill you!” Natsu shrieked. 

“I see you’ve already decided.” Zeref spread his hands. “You know, I _wanted_ things to work out. I thought Lucy would find a way to make everybody happy.”

“Don’t talk about Lucy. You don’t deserve to say her name.” 

“And yet she offered me something you never could. Forgiveness,” Zeref taunted. 

Natsu snarled. “She would _never_.”

But she _would._ That’s just who Lucy was.

“That girl has a big heart, but I wonder—is there room in it for a monster like you?” 

Zeref gestured to the rippling puddles at Natsu’s feet. Demonic eyes watched him from a crimson reflection. Was it already too late? No, he was still himself. Still _Natsu_. His heart reigned loudly over the dark thoughts in his head, mere whispers against the flames of his resolve. He wouldn’t give in. He’d _never_ give in. Lucy needed him now more than ever.

“You try so hard to suppress it, never realising she’s _waiting_ for you to break. It’ll be easier that way. Easier for her to do the _right thing_ ,” Zeref said. “It’s time to answer his call, Natsu. Become what you were always meant to be. Give her a reason to end this. You want that, don’t you? I’ve felt it in your heart. You’re afraid of hurting her. Afraid that the hands cradling her at night will be the same hands that kill her by morning.” 

Natsu roared, indignation burning within the depths of his stomach. Flames burst from skin, dancing from wounds, scorching blood and bone. Vines combusted, turning to ash. The stench of hot blood filled him. Gravity took him. He crashed on all fours, palms skidding through slick puddles of blood. He landed face-first at Zeref’s feet.

Zeref yanked him upright. Fingers clutched Natsu’s scrarf, holding him close. Natsu held his brother’s piercing gaze. 

"Don’t worry, Natsu. Lucy and I have a pleasant understanding. This will all be over very soon.”

Natsu kicked him hard in the stomach. Zeref spluttered, caught off guard for just a fraction of a second. It wasn’t enough. Vines wrenched Natsu to the ground.

“I am not your enemy,” he said. “I love you, Natsu. I want you to live. And that’s exactly why I won’t regret my decisions until now. Even if it’s not the future you wanted, having a future at all...” Zeref sighed wistfully. “It’s a gift.” 

“I’d rather die than live as a monster,” Natsu said. 

“Who said anything about living as a monster?”

“The hell are you talking about?”

“Oh.” Zeref licked his lips. “She didn’t tell you, did she? Lucy Heartfilia already knows how this journey ends. She decided it long ago.” 

“What—” 

“Natsu?” 

The brothers turned at the intrusion. Lucy appeared like stars racing billions of years just to save him from the darkness. Red thread hung from the bodice of her gown, ribboning across the floor like delicate strands of lifeblood. She clutched her chest in both hands, hot blood pooling between her fingers, blotting the pearly white material. Her eyes moved past him, unseeing. 

“It’s almost time,” Zeref said. “You have nothing left to lose.”

Lucy turned to face them. Her gaze lingered on Natsu, horror blooming in her face. She opened her mouth to speak, but the words ghosted through him. Lost. He couldn’t hear her over the blistering humanity of his own heartbeat. 

“Don’t look at me,” he said. 

Lucy held out a hand. “Natsu, please. This isn’t you.” 

Zeref shoved him towards her. Natsu landed against her. She caught him gently, both hands trembling, her eyes searching for something he’d lost within himself. Something only she could find. Red thread trailed around them in spirals. He shuffled backwards, stumbling over a stray loop. 

“I just need a little more time,” she said.

“How did you get here?” 

“Come back to me, Natsu. I can save you.”

Natsu shook his head, disbelieving. “How? There’s nothing you can do, Lucy.”

Lucy grabbed the tails of his scarf, drawing him closer. Natsu let her. She kissed him lightly, a touch so delicate it almost didn’t exist. 

“I’m sorry. I’m not strong enough yet. I just want to hold onto this for a little while longer.” 

Natsu grabbed her shoulders. “You are strong enough, Lucy. Whatever it is, we can face it together.”

“You really think I can do this?” 

“Yes.”

“You would trust me completely?”

“Lucy, I will always trust you.”

“Even if it hurts?”

He nodded. “I can endure anything when we’re together.” 

Something about the word _together_ upended her. Lucy stepped away from him, retracting the things she never said. 

_‘A piece of her lives within you, so small you never noticed it.’_

“I really did my best,” she said. “I tried to stop the seed from growing, but I’m not enough. I need more power. Maybe if I had been stronger back then, I could have done more. Maybe I could have stopped this.”

_‘This is the fragment of power she gave you.’_

“What are you?” he asked. 

“I am Lucy Heartfilia. A piece of her, anyway.”

“You know what I mean.”

She smiled wanly. “When I rewrote the book of E.N.D., your power all but consumed me. The words transferred into my body, but they were too much,” Lucy said. “Gray saved me, but not completely. I am the piece he couldn’t reach. An untainted fragment of Lucy Heartfilia’s power, left here to stave the demon seed’s influence on you. I’m the thread that remains between us. Without me, you would lose control much faster. But it comes at a price."

He knew that price. He’d seen it in her face, beating with demonic words and unspeakable powers. She’d given him two more years of human life, of _precious_ life, but in the meantime, while Natsu lived foolishly, Lucy suffered. How long had she been hurting behind closed doors? How scared must she have been?

"Don’t look so glum. You mustn’t treat me like your victim. You’re supposed to be the hero of your story, Natsu.” 

He’d heard it said that every man, good or bad, was the hero of his own story. But it was difficult to feel that way when ever fiber of your being yearned to unleash its demons. Literally. “Then what does that make you?”

She looped the thread around his neck and pulled a little too tightly. “Silly. I’ve always been the villain.”

Vines ripped him from her arms, dragging him face-first across the cool floor. They cocooned him swiftly, encasing him in red thorns and tangled limbs. He groaned. 

“I’m sorry,” she said. “It’s not time yet.” 

Flames burst from his limbs, devouring his prison. He stood with plumes of smoke, soft light illuminating the empty well behind her. 

“Natsu...” Lucy took a step back. “You have to fight this. It’s not time yet.”

“Time for _what_?!”

“I’m going to stop you. I promise. But I’m not ready yet.”

“Stop me _how_.”

“I can’t tell you that. Telling you is like telling E.N.D., surely you understand that.”

“Then I’ll make you tell me.”

“W-what?”

Natsu registered genuine fear in her eyes. If he defeated her here and now, Natsu’s true powers would be unleashed. She had everything to lose by not telling him. Still, that stubborn piece of Lucy did not move. Nor did she give up any new information. 

Natsu lunged at her. 

* * *

Lucy fell into the ornamental pond. Blood smeared on her face where Natsu had punched her. Water soaked through her clean suit, weighing heavy in her boots. She’d barely dressed on her way out of the inn, and even then she’d abandoned her keys in the hurry. 

So stupid.

Natsu hadn’t gone far. They’d followed a peculiar trail of chaos into the depths of Lotus Village. They’d found him alone in the plaza, burning sparks like a torch too damp to ignite. Unmoving. Until Happy tried to approach him.

Happy lifted her out of the pond. “It’s no use, Lucy. We have to go back and—” 

Natsu turned woodenly, a puppet dancing on invisible strings. If Lucy could break the threads, maybe he’d go back to sleeping and wake up like nothing happened. Or maybe she’d set him loose on a village filled with innocent people.

What could she do?

She’d done her best to lead him through the ponds, hoping the mystic waters might quell his flames, but every breath of cold air seemed to stoke his flames higher. He stepped into the pristine waters, lowering towards them. 

Lucy reached under Natsu’s scarf and grabbed the broken key around her neck, offering a quick _thank you_ to Aquarius and her stubborn nature, and to Natsu for returning it so quickly. 

Twisters of water rose up to form a great wall between them, obstructing Natsu’s path. He thrashed against the torrid waters, pushing as though mere bricks stood in his way. Lucy closed her eyes. The wall moved forward, pinning him to the wet stones.

“Why do you get in my way?” he asked her. 

“Because I love you, obviously.”

“Is this the time to be flirting?” Happy said.

Lucy’s eyes snapped open. “I’m not flirting!”

“Lucy, he’s—”

He wasn’t there.

Water splashed and puddled, exposing nothing but slick stones and fear. Lucy spun too late. Natsu loomed over her, a shadow claiming the light. He knocked her into the water. Lucy’s head slipped beneath the surface. She clawed at his arm, barely lifting her face out of the water.

“Happy! A little help!” she cried.

He was already moving. Happy snatched Natsu’s collar and tossed him through the air, leaving no room for mistake. Natsu hurtled like a broken doll tossed over the edge of a cliff. He smacked the ground hard, rolling across stone and earth. Lucy coughed out water. 

"Is he asleep?” Happy asked her.

Lucy shook her head. “No. I can feel it.” She touched her chest. “He’s doing his best to stop the power awakening. We have to help him.”

“It’s dangerous here.”

“You’re right. We need to leave the village. Happy, I need you to go back to the inn and grab our things. Now.”

“I won’t leave you.”

“We don’t have a choice. I can’t leave my keys here.”

“But—”

“Happy! Please! Think of Alina and her father.”

Natsu pushed himself off the ground. He turned to Lucy, eyes open for the very first time. Demonic slits took in her face with an unruly scowl.

“Go!” she screamed.

Happy zipped out of the plaza, headed north towards their abandoned room. Natsu rushed towards her. Lucy bit back a scream, channeling her fear into stamina. She sprinted for the caverns, following the narrow paths into the waterfall’s mouth. She emerged in the wide plains, almost stumbling across the widening flagstones. Lights flickered on in the surrounding houses. 

Natsu burst from the falls like a raging fireball. He approached quick behind her, swinging a burning fist. Flames skated across her back. Lucy gasped. Her chest hurt from running so hard. She needed to catch her breath, but doing so meant—

Natsu tackled her to the ground. She turned in his arms, barely dodging a clean blow to the face. He threw heavy fists, blazing hot with fire. Lucy writhed and kicked, Natsu’s power dizzying as it pulsed within her veins.

“Your timing sure sucks!” she panted. “You couldn’t even give me some time to mourn, huh?”

Natsu wasn’t listening. Or maybe he couldn’t even hear her anymore. E.N.D. cared as little about Lucy as Zeref cared about him. 

She struck him hard across the face. “Natsu! Get a grip already!”

That stunned him. He hesitated.

Lucy swung again. He caught her right fist, sparks licking up her skin. _Hiss._ Natsu’s flames swallowed her hand, devouring her flesh as though it were a late night snack. She screamed, tears burning her cheeks. She watched in horror as the guild mark she loved scarred and boiled. 

“Please! Stop, Natsu!” she begged.

"I warned you not to mess with Lucy!”

Loke manifested in a glow of blissful miracles. He cleaved through Natsu like slices of light cutting through partially opened curtains. They fell to the ground, grappling in whorls of white and burning orange. 

“Loke!” Lucy gasped. 

She gripped her burned hand, the pain too much to contain. She’d _kill_ to be in one of those ponds right now. 

Happy burst from the falls, lumbered by two hefty packs. He launched one across the plains, cracking Natsu clean over the head. Loke struck him hard across the jaw, knocking him unconscious. 

Lucy collapsed on her back. Natsu’s scarf whipped in the night air, crossing over her face. She burst out a laugh. It was so like him to get the last word. 

Happy was beside her instantly. He grabbed her wrist, inspecting her burning hand with tears that stung far worse than scorched flesh.

“Don’t cry,” she wheezed. “It’s not as bad as it looks.”

“Lucy!” Happy wept.

Loke carried her to the falls and set her gently on the bank. He thrust her hand into the cold plunge pool. Lucy screamed again, a twisting relief coiling through the agony. 

“Why would he do this to you?” he mumbled. It wasn’t so much a question as disbelief, she knew.

“It was an accident,” she said. 

“I warned him,” Loke spat. 

“He can’t help it.”

“This can’t continue. We have to do something.”

“I know,” Lucy said.

Happy touched Lucy’s arm. “Does it hurt, Lucy?”

She winced. “No. No, I’m fine.”

“You’re hiding something,” Loke said. 

Deep down, Lucy had always known it would come to this. But now, after finding Aquarius, their journey had no reason to continue. She had no reason to keep putting things off. The finality of it all made her want to cry. She glanced over at Natsu, his face planted in the ground. 

Lucy smiled softly. “You know, he’s usually the one to come up with the ridiculous plans. And they always work out somehow. So maybe... Maybe I’ll be okay too.” She wriggled her burnt fingers. “Ugh, this really smarts. I’m going to kill him when he wakes up.”

“He won’t wake up for a while,” Loke said. “We’ll have to carry him.”

“Don’t think you’re off the hook, either.”

Loke stiffened. “Oh yeah? What did this big kitty do to upset you, oh great and merciful Lucy?”

Lucy gripped Aquarius’s key in her fist. “Tell me, is she really happy?”

"Yes,” he said. “But she misses you every day.” 

* * *

Smoke and fire and ash clouded the murky horizon. Natsu inhaled the lingering flames, let them fill his belly, simmering hot like a freshly scarfed meal. 

“Are you done with your tantrum?” Lucy asked. “I’m still not going to tell you anything, you know.”

Natsu panted beside her. They lie still on the dark floor, blood and sweat trickling hot down his chest. Lucy rasped a long breath. 

“It wasn’t a tantrum,” he said. A pause. “Sorry.”

“Yes. It was.” She rolled her head towards him. “Save your apologies for when you wake up. You’re going to need them.” 

Natsu flinched. “What are you saying?”

“You know exactly what I’m saying.”

_No_. Had he attacked Lucy in his sleep again?

“Why can’t I wake up?” he grumbled, desperation seeping in. 

“It’s not your fault. As the demon seed grows, your humanity grows weaker. One day you’ll be stuck here while he roams free out there.” She offered him an inhumanly sweet smile. “But don’t worry, Natsu. I’ll be here with you until the end. It won’t be so bad. Even after...” She caught herself. “Hey, do you still have it?”

Natsu stared at her. “What?”

“The key.”

He patted his pocket. “I never go anywhere without it.”

She smiled. “I wonder if it really works.”

“Who knows.” He shrugged. “You and I are never apart.”

Something in her expression softened, but it was so sad it made his stomach drop. 

“That’s odd. You should’ve woken up by now.” Lucy scanned the surrounding darkness. “I don’t sense E.N.D. either. I must’ve beaten you good, huh?”

Natsu sat upright. “Is Lucy okay?”

“I’m a big girl, you know. I can handle it.”

He rolled his eyes. "You can tell, can’t you? You’re Lucy, even though you’re...”

“Stuck in here?”

He grimaced. “Sorry.”

“She’s fine, Natsu. Well, most of her is.”

“What does that mean?”

She raised her hand, revealing scarred flesh and the disfigured remains of Lucy’s guild mark. Natsu blanched, his pulse dropping, his stomach heaving with acidic horror. 

“Lucy, what...”

She grinned. “I wouldn’t be much of a villain without a few scars, would I?” 


	18. Too Far Gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is honestly just a small tasteof what's about to go down. You'll get to see Natsu's full reaction to Lucy's burned guild mark next chapter, too. Enjoy it, because you getone more chapterof lovey dovey goodness (I call it the reprieve) and then it's straight up E.N.D. vs Lucy. Let's gooooo.

Lucy never thought dying would be so complicated.

She had countless things to worry about, to think about, to _plan_. She'd never even written a will before. Who would take the items from her apartment? Who would keep her mother's letters? What would happen to her unfinished novel?

She paced the infirmary in circles, floorboards squeaking underfoot. Her legs throbbed from sitting so long. Lucy rubbed her chin. Those things would be irrelevant in death, wouldn't they? She wouldn't need to keep letters anymore.

Lucy turned to Natsu for guidance. He lie unconscious on a made up gurney, his face blotched with sweat. She wore his scarf like a good luck charm, praying it would help him through whatever trauma he might be experiencing. He hadn't moved for days. It could have been the perfect time to end this, but Lucy couldn't do anything until E.N.D.'s powers awakened. She had to release _every_ last drop, and right now, that awful magic was sealed far away. Until all of it passed through her body, she had nothing to expel.

But _how_ would she pull this off? Expunging magic wasn't easy. In fact, it was the total opposite. Like a man strangling himself with his own two hands — eventually, the will to fight persists, and the hands just stop squeezing. And nobody else could do it for her.

Even if her mind was made up, Lucy's body wouldn't give up without a fight. This wouldn't be as easy as just draining herself dry and succumbing to death. As she grew weaker, her body would protest, which usually meant fainting. She couldn't do _anything_ then.

Lucy stopped walking for just a second. When had it become normal to think so casually about death? Was she really giving up just like that? She walked another circle.

Lucy stole another glance in Natsu's direction.

What else could she do? Zeref had made it abundantly clear that Lucy didn't have a choice in the matter. The only way to save Natsu, to give him the life he deserved, was for Lucy to die. And what was one life for _literally every other_. If Natsu—no, if E.N.D.'s powers awakened—nobody would be safe.

She couldn't risk contracting the same deficiency that killed her mother, either. It was too slow. E.N.D.'s magic might replenish too much in the meantime. She had to expel _everything_ at once to completely erase any trace of E.N.D.'s power.

She would raze a whole garden to burn just one seed.

"Stop pacing. It won't wake him any faster."

Lucy paused, but not because of the intrusion. Natsu stirred on the bed, his fingers offering the slightest of twitches. She grabbed his hand, squeezing, cobwebs crumbling, revealing the abandoned hope in her mind. Nothing. His eyes didn't open. Lucy sighed.

Lucy turned to find Gray shirtless in the doorway. "Are you still angry?"

"I never said I was angry."

"You didn't have to."

He leaned on the frame, his eyes moving past her to the unconscious dragon slayer on the bed. Beneath all his icy rage, Lucy saw Gray's hidden concerns, but she also saw his fight. He'd said his magic was _made_ for this. That Lucy shouldn't take on the burden alone. She couldn't begin to fathom how _lucky_ she'd been to run into him. But that didn't mean she was willing to share her burdens, either.

Destiny was running out of cards to pull from Lucy's deck.

While headed south—avoiding populated areas for fear E.N.D. would stir in Natsu's place—Lucy had stumbled upon Gray travelling from the new council building. He'd escorted Makarov there on his way to visit Lamia Scale. He'd taken one look at Natsu and made their problems his business. With Lamia Scale close by, he'd offered to carry Natsu the rest of the way, relieving Loke as part of the favour. It was a relief on Lucy's magic, too. Opening his gate for three days cost her more energy than she'd have liked. But he'd _insisted_ on being there.

"You shouldn't be doing this alone," Gray said.

Lucy exhaled. "Can this wait? Please. Natsu is..."

"He's fine. Three days is nothing for that idiot."

She wanted to believe him. Maybe part of her did. But Lucy couldn't stop _worrying_. She knew it in her heart, deep within her bones, that something was wrong. Natsu's power no longer sat dormant beneath Lucy's skin. The words traced invisible heat in her veins, the occasional pattern ghosting through her body. The seed was sprouting. Even if Natsu woke up now, he wouldn't be the same. Zeref had told her that. He'd _warned_ her.

And sleepless nights weren't helping.

When she did sleep, Zeref didn't come. And if he did, it was in whispers. She found no comfort at all. No rest, no dreams, no answers. Only abyssal darkness. The seed liked the darkness, fed on it. Whenever she felt a flicker of fear, some magical word passed through Lucy's hands, crawling up her arms and into her face. Gray hadn't left her side much since the first time it happened.

"I know you're worried," he said, "but sitting here all day isn't helping."

He was right. "I know."

Gray's eyes flickered to Lucy's clenched fist. "Did Wendy look at your hand?"

Lucy nodded. Wendy happened to be visiting Lamia Scale just days before Gray visited with Juvia. She was doing her best to reunite Chelia with the magic she'd lost. The three had remained to help Lyon with guild business while Ooba was away. It was almost a Fairy Tail reunion. She only wished it were under better circumstances.

"Nothing?" he pressed.

Lucy stared at her scarred hand and the destroyed remnants of her guild mark. It mocked her in quiet foreboding. "The pain is gone."

"When we get back to Fairy Tail, Mira will give you a new one," he said.

But it wouldn't be _this_ guild mark. She knew it wasn't the crest that _made_ her a Fairy Tail mage. But this mark was special. It was a memory too precious to erase—like an old portrait she couldn't restore but refused to take off her wall. It didn't matter anyway. Not now.

"I'm not going back to Fairy Tail," she said.

Gray stepped into the room. Floorboards creaked as though warning his trespass, begging him not to move any closer. Lucy couldn't take much more of this. Inside, she was breaking.

"What are you planning to do?" he said.

She didn't answer.

Gray's eyes narrowed. He'd been on her side of the fence, rolled in the rotting grass and dead weeds, choked on the fragrance of poisonous doubts. He knew what it felt like to lose hope, to lose _people_. Lucy didn't have a choice now.

"Lucy." He grabbed her shoulders. "This isn't like you."

She offered him a valiant smile. "It's too dangerous to take Natsu back to the guild. We shouldn't even be _here_ , Gray. When all of this is over, I don't want him to have any regrets. It'l destroy him. The less people he hurts, the better. You understand that, don't you?"

"You're not thinking straight."

"I've made my choice."

"To die?!" Gray shook her harder. "Lucy, did you forget who you're talking to? That look—that self-sacrificing darkness—I _invented_ that look. Do you know how many times Natsu stopped me from casting Iced Shell? What do you think he'd say if he knew you were planning to—"

"To what?"

Juvia peered into the room, carrying a small tray laden with sweets. She placed it on the little cabinet by the door. Lucy shot Gray a pleading look. Nobody could know about this.

"Juvia." Gray cleared his throat. "Any news?"

"It seems Meredy and the others were able to locate and disband two more dark guilds with our information," she said. "If Erza is so worried, why doesn't she communicate with Jellal directly?"

"You know how they are."

Lucy's heart crumbled to dust. _Ultear_. "Gray, there's something I need to—"

His hands drifted to Lucy's arms. "It wasn't your fault."

Juvia's expression softened. "Meredy wrote letters to Lyon and Gray shortly after Ultear's passing. We were here when Lyon's arrived. It was..." Her face said it all. Shocking. _Devastating._

Tears dripped from Lucy's chin. "She saved me, Gray."

"She wanted you to live."

Juvia embraced them both.

Lucy melted against them, clinging to fragile threads of light in the spiraling darkness. How long had she been falling into this loneliness? How long had she been holding onto these thoughts by herself? Always worried about someone else. Always wondering when Natsu would finally break. Wondering if she'd have the strength to end this.

She lived on borrowed time. _Limited_ time.

Lucy dissolved into fits of tears. "I'm so sorry," she gasped. "It's all my fault."

Juvia patted Lucy's back. "Juvia doesn't believe that for a second. And neither would Ultear."

Gray removed himself from their arms. "She gave you a future. Don't waste it."

Words he must recite daily, Lucy realised. Ultear had saved them all once before, given them all a second chance. Lucy was lucky enough to receive a third.

And Gray had _grown_ so much. He wasn't letting this setback defeat him either. He'd lost so many people, surrounded himself with ice so thick nobody could break it. But now he was looking beyond his shield to the sunlight.

"They say if you wish for something hard enough, you can make it a reality," Juvia said. She touched Lucy's shoulder. "Juvia will never stop wishing for Natsu's health."

Lucy threw her arms around Juvia's neck.

Gray stifled a laugh. "Enough with the mush. You're a Fairy Tail wizard. Or did you forget that?" His tone was accusing, but oddly gentle, as only Gray could be.

"Wendy has been asking about you," Juvia said. "She just got finished with Chelia's lessons. Why don't we go see her? Happy is keeping her company with Charle right now."

Lucy stole a quick glance at Natsu's sleeping face. "Okay," she acquiesced. "But can we bring the sweets?"

Juvia's laughter rang like soft bells announcing a beautiful new day. "Of course. Juvia made them just for you."

* * *

"I've got it!"

Natsu stared as Lucy clapped her hands, delighted with whatever she'd conjured up _this time_. He never thought he'd say this, but her company was driving him _insane_. It's like Zeref had summoned her just to drive a wedge between them. The fragment of Lucy in his mind did not share the real Lucy's inhibitions. She was very much Lucy in her dedication, her loyalty, and her strength, but she was _so chatty._ He was starting to wish she'd remained invisible, untraceable. Just a piece of him.

And yet, being here alone didn't sound so good, either.

"What? You don't want to hear it?" she pestered.

Natsu crossed his legs and propped his chin in both hands. "What is it this time? Heartneel?"

"No, silly. But that's a good one! I was thinking, what about Lucy. H. Dragneel?" she said. "It's common practice for suitors to take the Heartfilia name in marriage, but, you know I've never been one for custom."

Natsu blinked. He'd _seen_ Lucy's home before Jude lost his wealth. She was every bit as spoiled as the next rich kid—with a vast wealth of kindness to replace the inheritance she'd lost. Just because she was nice didn't erase the fact that she was, to put it mildly, a little vain and bratty. Of course, Natsu _loved_ Lucy. No matter what.

"It's a shame you're stuck here," she said. "You must miss her terribly."

It was weird when she did that—talked about Lucy as though they weren't the same person. The same _soul_.

Natsu sighed. "I do."

"Do you want to touch me?"

He glared at her. "No. Thanks."

"Really? But my body is—"

"Perfect. Yeah."

"You're no fun," she pouted. "But it's romantic how loyal you are. Even though I'm technically..." She shrugged. "Are you worried Zeref will show up in the middle of it?"

Zeref had vanished at some point during Natsu's fight with Lucy. They'd brawled hard, and ever since then, Natsu had felt strangely weakened.

"Lucy." His gaze slid to hers. "That's enough."

She'd been teasing him for what felt like an eternity. It was her way of trying to keep him calm, she'd said, but all it did was aggravate him further. Or maybe that was the plan all along. Zeref had said Lucy was _waiting_ for E.N.D.'s power to awaken. For Natsu to _break_.

But if she had a plan, why didn't she tell him?

"What about the future you saw?" she asked him. "That baby won't make itself."

Natsu stared at her. "How do you know about that?"

" _Hello_." She gestured to the burning village all around him. "I'm inside your head. I see everything you do."

His skin prickled. "You're pretty weird, Lucy."

"That's why I fell in love with you," she jibed.

Natsu rolled his eyes, but the faintest of smiles betrayed his lips.

"Natsu, I know you're scared, but fear doesn't defeat demons. Action does."

"What're you talking about? I'm not scared."

But _oh_ how terrified he was. Natsu couldn't remember the last time his heart beat at a normal rhythm. Zeref had abandoned him even in dreams, leaving him to fester alongside Lucy, who made a show of counting down the days to Natsu's "transformation." It was like she enjoyed it. But of course _this_ Lucy did. She'd been trapped here because of E.N.D.'s power. If Natsu awakened, her purpose would be over, and she could finally be free.

"You still think of E.N.D. as just a demon," she said.

"He _is_ a demon."

"But he's also _you_."

Gooseflesh danced across Natsu's arms. "Lucy would never say that. She thinks I'm..."

"She'd never say it. But it's true."

Natsu inflated his cheeks and held the bitter words sitting under his tongue. He expelled a heavy breath and averted his gaze elsewhere. He'd had enough of this.

"How can you ever hope to control the seed's power if you continue to think about it as something _other_ than yourself?" Lucy said. She glanced at the seed suspended behind them like an extra moon. Small vines breached the inky-black shell, just waiting to imprison him again. When the shell opened, E.N.D.'s powers would finally emerge, and Natsu, as Lucy told it, would take his place. His humanity would be sealed away, forced to witness the horrors that E.N.D. committed.

The seed ticked hard like an out of sync clock.

Natsu's gaze flit back to her. "What do you want, Lucy? You want me to admit that I'm a monster?"

"No. I want you to accept that this is part of you. If Zeref hadn't resurrected you, Natsu, then you and I would never have met. Yes, you wouldn't be a demon, but you also wouldn't be _here_."

She had a point, but nothing about this was _romantic_ , and he loathed her attempting to make it so. Although, maybe that was his own fault. Everything Lucy did seemed romantic these days. He just _missed_ her.

"Zeref said you offered him forgiveness. Is that true?" he asked.

"Well, I didn't offer him anything, but _she_ did. But it's not that simple. And he's dead, Natsu. Your brother is gone now. It's important to forgive the dead their trespasses and grant them peace."

Zeref would never truly be gone.

"Maybe acceptance is the first step towards taking control," Lucy said. "Instead of fighting E.N.D., instead of struggling, maybe you should just..." She shrugged, as if the words that followed weren't a serious gamble, "Wake him up."

"No."

"It might work."

"And it might not."

Lucy smiled at him. "That's fair. You shouldn't take advice from the villain."

"Why do you keep saying that?"

Lucy leaned back on her palms and stared into the starless sky. He followed her gaze towards a full moon, its light eerie in the ebb of kindling flames all around them.

"Because villains often believe what they're doing is right, even if it means being hated. Sometimes we do awful things in the name of love. And sometimes we hurt too many people to be truly forgiven."

"You forgave Zeref," he reminded her.

"But I still hate him."

"Who's ever going to hate you, Lucy?"

She let out a soft sigh, the kind of sigh accompanying first kisses and opened love letters. Lovesick and content. It didn't match the cold expression on her face.

"You will," she said. "Because I'm going to break your heart."

"Lucy could never break my heart."

"I see you haven't lost your overconfidence," she said.

"It's not overconfidence. It's the truth."

Lucy stood. "I'm sorry. Just know, whatever happens, I want you to live a good life. You have to be happy, Natsu."

Natsu grabbed her wrist. He stared at her burned hand, that same horror creeping back into his cold heart.

"How?" he said. "How are you going to break my heart?"

The hand he held vanished as though it were no more than an illusion. Future Lucy stared at him from Lucy's place, her expression shaded beneath a thick black hood.

"The only way I know how."

Natsu wobbled to his feet. "What are you planning?"

He didn't need to ask. It was written in her face, so clear he'd have to be blind not to see it. She was going to die. Lucy was going to forfeit her life to save him. Somehow, someway, it was like he'd always _known_ she was planning to leave him.

She cupped his jaw with her remaining hand. "I'm giving you the future I'll never have."

Rage and despair filled him. The seed cracked behind them, no longer ticking. For all the rambling she'd done about acceptance and power, Lucy could not hide her fear. Her eyes widened. He heard the whip of vines, but Natsu didn't move.

"Natsu!" she yelled.

Vines pierced his heart.

He dropped to one knee, thorns biting inside him, blood spitting and oozing across the floor. He stared into the inky darkness. Was E.N.D. trying to get rid of him? Or to destroy his humanity? Maybe Lucy was wrong, and Natsu wasn't going to be stuck here.

He was being erased.

Acceptance, huh? Lucy wasn't the villain in this story. It only made sense for a demon to take on that role. He didn't have a choice this time. The thorns released him, vines returning to their wicked shell.

Natsu's eyes opened.

* * *

"You look tired, Lucy."

Lucy lifted her head off the table. She couldn't shake the unpleasant feeling in her body, cold and unforgiving, like something awful was about to happen. It made it difficult to shake her fatigue when all she wanted to do was curl up at Natsu's side, warm and wanted.

"I'm okay, Wendy. Don't worry too much."

"Wendy's right," Charle scolded. "You haven't been taking care of yourself. You're no good to Natsu in this state."

"Don't be mean to Lucy," Happy said. "She's sick too."

Charle simmered beside him on the table. "Don't mistake my concerns for cruelty."

"I'm okay," Lucy stressed.

They sat in a small room connected to Lamia Scale's primary guild hall. Formerly used as storage, Lyon was beginning renovations to turn it into a meeting area for official guild business. That made it the perfect place for private conversations. The others were kind enough to give Wendy and Charle a moment alone with Lucy and Happy. The unease had spread, though. Members of Lamia Scale were beginning to question Natsu's presence in the guild, wild rumours spreading as quickly as E.N.D.'s flames would should he awaken.

"You love each other," Wendy said suddenly.

Lucy's cheeks flushed. "Well, that's..."

"When people love each other, they always find their way back to each other," she said. "Natsu will wake up soon, Lucy."

"And when he does, we have to be prepared," Charle said. "We don't know what he'll do when awakens."

"Natsu isn't a monster," Happy snapped. "He's my best friend!"

"She's right, Happy. We have to be prepared for every outcome. Until then, all we can do is watch over him and keep him alive," Lucy said.

Charle touched Lucy's disfigured hand. "You sound as though you're giving up."

Lucy stiffened. "No. Of course not."

"Strength comes from our desire to live, Lucy," she said. "Remember that whenever you're weary."

"Isn't Charle the smartest?" Wendy praised.

Charle visibly flustered.

"You're right." Lucy straightened. "We've faced the impossible before. I shouldn't dismiss—"

_"Move out of my way!"_

The group flinched as one. Voices echoed from the main hall, muted by the heavy door between rooms.

Warmth radiated from Lucy's chest. The lock on her chain took on the faintest glow, a soft hue of stardust silver shimmering through the crystalline object. She jerked to her feet.

"Natsu's awake!"

Happy leapt for the sky. "Let's go, Lucy!"

"Wait. You have to be prepared," Charle said. "This might not be the Natsu you remember. Are you ready to face him?"

Lucy nodded. "I have to be."

She pushed open the door. They filed into the main hall, groups of mages gathered at the far corners, giving a wide berth to the commotion within. Natsu and Gray faced off in the middle of the hall. Lyon and Juvia stood between them.

"You should be grateful I'm here at all," Gray was saying. "It'd be easy for Juvia and I to walk away right now and leave you to this madness!"

Juvia didn't look so convincing. She glanced between them, clearly torn between supporting Gray and helping Natsu. Lyon placed a comforting hand on her arm.

Lucy stepped out into the open. "Natsu, what are you doing?"

He turned dark eyes on Lucy, his face pallid. He looked exhausted. No, he looked _dead_ , like he'd given up on everything but the faintest trace of power crackling in the air between them.

"Were you going to tell me?" he snapped.

Lucy balked. "Natsu, I..."

"Hey!" Gray stopped Natsu's approach. "Don't talk to her. Talk to _me_."

"Move, Gray."

"Make me!"

Juvia waved a hand in modest surrender. "Gray, please."

"Natsu, we're trying to help you," Happy called.

Natsu scoffed. "Help me _how_? By dying?"

Lucy's blood curdled.

"What is he talking about, Lucy?" Happy searched her for answers she didn't dare reveal.

"Natsu, that's enough," she said. "You've been asleep for a long time. We can talk about this later."

"I'm tired of talking," he said.

She didn't know what he meant by that, but she let the comment slide. He was delirious and angry. She had to help him.

"Natsu, you mustn't cause a scene here," Lyon said. "We're trying to help you."

"Listen to your heart, Natsu," Juvia said. "We've all been waiting for you to come back to us. Please, listen to Juvia's voice."

"I know what it's like to lose people," Gray edged. "I know what you're going through, Natsu. That fear."

"Maybe people die because they can't stand to be near you," Natsu snapped.

Gray faltered. His eyes tilted with clear anguish. Steadily, he regained composure, raising his head with the pride of a king leading his army, ready to face his enemies head on.

And Natsu made himself one.

"I promised Juvia that I'd keep living no matter what. I won't ever make her cry again. So give it your best shot, Flame-breath. I'll knock some sense into you! For Lucy's sake, I'll defeat you here and now!"

"Stop," Lucy begged. "Please, don't fight."

Ice and fire exploded in a clash of impenetrable wills.

The blast shot Juvia into Lyon. They tumbled across the guild floor, helped to their feet by surrounding guild-mates. Nobody intervened. For the longest time, nobody breathed. Even the guild itself seemed to hold its breath, the floorboards silent, the walls echoing nothing but exchanged blows.

Natsu lunged at Gray like a demon breaking out of hell, clawing, punching, kicking. Black marks rippled across Gray's skin, unleashing spells of ice so cold Lucy's teeth chattered and her skin numbed from mere proximity.

"This isn't your guild, idiot!" Gray screamed. "Stop wrecking it!"

"You're the one wrecking it!"

Natsu dropped Gray to his knees. A collective gasp filled the hall. Still, nobody moved. Nobody dared. There was something hypnotic about watching them fight, as though destiny had been diverted off course and found its way back again. It was a clash destined to happen.

Gray conjured a sword in his fist. He stopped it against Natsu's throat. Both remained still as stone, a trickle of blood dribbling across the blade.

"Stand down," Gray said.

"Please..." Lucy's voice failed her.

Natsu grabbed the blade in two hands, blood and flames spilling from cut flesh.

"You think this scares me?" he asked.

Natsu shoved the blade into his own stomach. Lucy's breath caught, the shriek rattling inside her brain. He stepped closer, his body gliding across the blade as easily as he'd slipped into madness. Gray stood frozen.

"Natsu!" Happy yelled.

Lucy covered her mouth. The sword hissed and melted, slow and torturous to watch. He punched Gray clean in the face. Gray returned the blow, a sickening _crunch_ that seemed to echo long after the blood sprayed from Natsu's nose.

"I can go all day, Natsu. So what's it gonna be?"

"You've stood in my way for the last time!" Natsu drew back his fist.

"Stop!" Juvia screamed.

_Rain_.

Water thundered all around them, dousing Natsu's flames, shattering Gray's ice-make swords. Both flinched when they saw her crying.

"Lucy has been worried for days," she continued. "Natsu, you came to Juvia's aid when I was surrounded by nothing but rain. You reunited me with my beloved when I'd lost all hope, brought the guild back together. This isn't the time to be fighting."

Lucy saw traces of humanity flicker in Natsu's eyes. They didn't last. Whatever light remained had been eclipsed during his long slumber. He turned towards Juvia, a glimmer of relief on her face. But she hadn't reached him. Crimson eyes flared as he moved. He was preparing to attack.

Gray didn't miss a beat. He tackled Natsu to the ground, flames bursting in waves of failed attacks. Their fight exploded in whorls of white and red, so bright Lucy couldn't see what happened within the blazing flames and blistering shards of ice.

Ice splintered between them—a conjuring of Lyon's doing. He pulled Juvia to her feet. "Gray!" he yelled. "You have to lead him outside!"

This was all Lucy's fault. She didn't want anyone else getting hurt by this.

"Natsu is..." Happy visibly trembled. "He's Natsu. Right, Lucy?"

Gravity dropped Lucy to her knees. "No."

"I'll kill you!" Natsu screamed.

This wasn't Natsu anymore. Those words came from a monster so far gone not even Lucy could stand to listen. This was a monster; a demon of Zeref's creation. She'd seen no twinkle of Natsu's soul in those crimson eyes. It was over. The final grains dropped into the bottom half of their hourglass. She had no choice.

Lucy had to stop him.

In a barrage of connecting blows, Gray forced Natsu onto the outside street in a trail of blood and ice. Wendy helped Lucy stand.

"What can we do?" she asked.

"He's too far gone," Lucy said. "I don't know if I can reach him this time."

"You must believe that you can," Charle said.

"We're in this together, Lucy," Happy agreed.

"You guys..."

"You have to help him," Juvia said. "Gray is doing his best to reach him. He needs you, Lucy."

Lucy fisted her hands. They were right. They'd always been right. Lucy didn't want to give in so easily—to accept the fate laid out before her. She was going to fight this. She would fight him until her last breath.

"Wendy, I hope you're well rested," Lucy said. "He's going to need a lot of healing when I'm done kicking some sense into him!"

Lucy rushed out of the guild. Explosions rocked the empty street, shockwaves tipping her off balance. She caught herself on the wall of the guild, barely taking a breath as another explosion dried the air.

Lucy's skin burned. She gasped a breath, Natsu's power shifting like splinters too deep to remove from her skin. The lock on her chain glowed brighter. Pieces of Natsu resonated from the item's hidden powers. She felt it under E.N.D.'s presence. He wanted her to help him. She hadn't lost him just yet.

"Hey!" she yelled. "Leave Gray alone, Natsu! I'm the one you're mad at!"

Gray bounced to his feet, deftly avoiding a kick to the face. Natsu followed through with a flaming fist. Shields of ice blocked the attack, bursting in plumes of white.

They weren't listening.

She searched for an opening, watching the patterns of their fight. Gray drove Natsu backwards with a string of flurrying attacks. He conjured another sword and swung it in an arch, the motion pushing Natsu onto his back. Blood dripped from the gaping wound in his stomach. He flipped himself over. They rushed at each other.

Lucy ran between them. "Stop this!"

They didn't stop. Gray veered off path to avoid her, tripping over himself with a mighty _crash_ of ice and tangled limbs. Natsu didn't stop running. She kicked him hard across the face.

"Stop fighting, you idiot!" she screamed.

He crashed into her at full speed, flames receding from the shock of their bodies colliding. They rolled across the ground. He landed face-down on her chest.

Lucy snaked her fingers through his hair, holding him close. He struggled, but only for a moment.

"You're such a pain!" she yelled.

He didn't struggle again. For the longest moment, Natsu didn't even seem to breathe. He found solace in the scarf around her neck, familiarising himself with the soft material. Lucy didn't move.

"Are you two done fighting now?" she dared to ask.

Lucy shared a long look with Gray, who'd barely now managed to stand on his own two feet. He shuffled towards them slowly, like a new father afraid to wake his newborn babe. He nodded with a silent, _You okay?_

Lucy nodded that she was.

"Natsu, did you fall asleep again?" she pressed. "You better not."

"I'm hungry," he complained.

Lucy sighed. He pushed himself upright. Crimson flecks decorated the piercing darkness of his eyes like hellfire devouring souls. It was almost time. Lucy didn't have long left with the man she loved.

"I won't let you become the villain, Lucy," he said.

"Villain?" Lucy's gaze slid to Gray's. "What's he talking about?"

Gray shrugged. "I probably hit him too hard."

"You punch like a baby," Natsu scoffed.

Lucy shoved his face against her chest. "Just stop talking. We've heard enough."

He inhaled a long breath. "You smell good."

"I think it's time you apologised to Lyon and the others for the mess you've made." She smacked his head. "Hey, are you listening to me? We need to get you healed up."

Natsu buried his face between her breasts. "One more minute."

"Haven't you slept enough?!"

Gray cleared his throat. "Ya know, you really shouldn't do this sorta thing in the street."

Lucy's face heated. "Then get him off me!"

"Hey, no, it's not my place to—"

"Gray!"

"Okay! Okay!"


	19. Day of Reckoning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, guys. Your final reprieve before things GO DOWN. But don’t worry, if you make it through ALL I have planned, you might just be rewarded with something extra fluffy. Also, I’m sorry of this reads a little clunky, I’ve been suffering with the worst headaches but really wanted to get this chapter published for you guys.

"Back so soon, Natsu?” 

Natsu pinched his nose and sighed. _Great_. Here again. He was starting to miss those dreamless nights he’d scorned not too long ago.

The faintest blink brought him back into this nightmare, surrounded by breeding darkness. It scurried through the burning village, shadowy figures marching into broken houses, rustling behind old curtains. 

Lucy patted his shoulder, offering only the slightest squeeze. “Don’t worry,” she said. “The vines aren’t here. E.N.D. won’t stab you this time.” 

“No. He won’t.”

Both turned at the sound of Zeref’s voice. He looked different than usual. Zeref’s smug face was drawn and pallid, his cheeks flushed and scraped, like a man barely surviving the bloody cicatrices of war.

“What happened to you?” Natsu said.

Zeref quirked a brow. “You care?”

“Okay, don’t tell me.”

Lucy offered a small smile. “Are you going to tell him?”

Zeref shrugged. 

“He gave you some more time,” Lucy said. “Not much, though. You should be grateful. If it wasn’t for Zeref’s magic, you’d be running rampant right now.” 

“You woke me up?” Natsu asked him.

Even in dreams, Natsu was sore from battling it out with Gray. He’d scarfed down more food than he’d _ever_ eaten before, savouring every last bite, wondering if it would be the last meal he ever shared with Lucy. 

She didn’t say much about her special _plans_ , but her resolve was cemented in her silence. She was planning to die no matter what he said. Which meant Natsu had to become stronger. He had to stop her, no matter what. Even if that meant becoming a demon for the rest of his life. Even if it meant fighting every last mage in Earth Land. He couldn’t lose her. 

But...

If he gave himself over to E.N.D., if he became a true demon, wouldn’t he lose her anyway? 

“My head hurts,” he muttered. 

“You don’t have long to live out your carefree days,” Zeref told him. “A week, if you’re lucky.”

Natsu bristled. “A _week_?”

“Don’t worry. Lucy and I have a plan.” 

“I know. You’re going to let her die,” Natsu snapped.

Zeref’s brows tented. “We don’t know for certain whether she’ll die or not. It has never been done, but there are anomalies to every rule. She could very well survive all of this. And perhaps then you will see the future you long for.”

Natsu’s gaze flit to Lucy’s. “What do you think?”

She waved her hands. “I’m just a fragment of Lucy’s soul. I don’t make the plans, just follow them. Although, without me...”

“What?”

“It’s just, you know, the Golden Plains.”

Zeref shot her a scathing look. 

“What?” Lucy returned the glower. “He deserves to know what he’s condemning her to.”

“People who cross the Golden Plains aren’t all necessarily dead,” Zeref said. 

“If Lucy finds her way there, she won’t be able to cross the Auric Bridge. Incomplete souls can’t move into a new life. She’ll be stuck there.” Lucy spread her hands. “When she—when _I_ —rewrote the Book of E.N.D., it was a powerful soul magic that connected us. It’s not something I was consciously aware of until I awakened here within your subconscious. Our souls are connected, but only by a fragment. Your Lucy doesn’t understand the true power she unlocked when she rewrote Zeref’s magic. Our souls are bound no matter what happens. I’ll be stuck here until you are both reunited again.”

“So there’s a chance to save her,” Natsu said.

If a piece of Lucy’s soul kept her between life and death, Natsu had a chance to bring her back again. He had to seize the opportunity. Even if that meant chasing her across the Golden Plains. 

“I see you haven’t stopped with those crazy plans of yours.” Her tone was insulting, but that _sweet_ Lucy smile had him melting all the same. “You can’t just _die_ and go looking for her in the afterlife. This isn’t a game, Natsu.” 

Zeref didn’t look convinced either. “Chasing her won’t matter in the end. Even if you catch her, she won’t be the Lucy you remember. Every step she takes across the plains will claim a memory she holds dear.” 

So it was a race against time. Natsu could do that. He’d tear apart the very universe if it meant protecting what they had. If it meant seeing her alive.

“Mavis and I are trapped in the Plains,” Zeref said sharply. “But we lived exceptionally long lives. We’re lucky to recall what we still do.” 

Natsu froze. “You can’t move on? Why?”

“Because you call me here, and Mavis refuses to cross the bridge alone. She worries something will happen to me.” 

“I don’t call you here!”

“Until you see the truth, until you accept it, Mavis and I will never pass on.” 

"Accept what?” Natsu pumped an arm in protest. “Accept that you were willing to _kill_ me to satisfy your own needs? We’re supposed to be brothers!”

_Thump_.

Natsu’s heart pulsed an irregularly long beat. He grabbed his chest, pain filling him like water bursting from a vase. He choked on it. 

“You have to move forward, brother. Only then can you ever hope to save her.”

Move forward? Natsu grimaced. He was supposed to acknowledge Zeref? But how? 

“I already know you’re my brother,” he said. 

Zeref smiled. “This isn’t about me. You are the one who can’t let go.” 

Natsu wanted to protest, to scream until his lungs burned, but his heart gave another odd beat. He dropped to a knee, dizziness edging into his vision. 

“Perhaps I overestimated,” Zeref mumbled.

_Thump._

_Thump._

_Stop._

Lucy touched his shoulder gently. “I’ll be here when the time comes. Don’t be afraid. Whatever happens, we’ll be together. You’re in my heart and I’m in yours. That’s what matters, right?”

No. No, he didn’t want that. He wanted to be with Lucy. He wanted the future he’d seen in Crocus; he wanted to see the face of their child. He wanted to see Lucy’s smile every morning and do all the things he’d never found interesting before—kissing her goodnight and buying gifts for her birthday. He wanted to do all of those normal things. All of the boring things he’d once overlooked. 

He wanted to buy her a real ring.

“The next time you come here, it’ll be over,” Zeref said. “Don’t mistake this act as kindness."

Natsu toppled onto his side. 

_I was simply buying Lucy more time._

He woke to darkness. Somebody stirred beside him, but it wasn’t the face he’d wanted to see. Juvia glanced up from her arms, blue hair tangled around her face. Her eyes widened when she saw him staring.

“You’re awake,” she said. 

“Where’s Lucy?”

“I can start to dislike people, you know,” she teased. 

Natsu blinked. It didn’t really matter what Juvia thought of him, but the words still stung a little. He eased himself upright, familiarising himself with the infirmary again. He could’ve sworn he’d fallen asleep in the guild hall. 

“Why am I here?” he said. 

“Lyon thought it best to keep you separated. Lucy stayed with Wendy and Chelia for the night.”

“But why are _you_ here?”

“Juvia offered to watch over you while Lucy rested.”

Right. Juvia had taken the time to watch over him so Lucy could sleep. He shouldn’t be interrogating her like this. 

“Sorry,” he said. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Juvia offered a small smile. “It sounds like you’ve been through a lot. Besides, Juvia is used to the cold shoulder.”

Natsu cracked a smile. Of course she was.

“How are you feeling?” she asked him.

“Fine. I think.”

“We were all so worried about you. Wendy worked tirelessly to heal your wounds, even those we couldn’t see. We weren’t sure you’d ever wake up.”

“Maybe it’d be best if I hadn’t.” He said it without thought, and regretted it the moment he saw Juvia’s smile fade. 

“I know what you’re going through, Natsu,” she said. “During the war with Alvarez, Invel gave Juvia an impossible choice. If I wanted to live, I had to slay my beloved.” She raised her shirt, offering a brief glimpse of the scar underneath. “I understand Lucy. I don’t agree with her decisions, but I _understand_. In that moment, Juvia would rather die than kill Gray. I inflicted this wound on myself to spare him, and also to spare myself the grief of living in a world without him. I would rather hurt myself than see my friends suffer. And when it’s somebody you love so deeply, as you clearly love Lucy, it changes everything. She didn’t want you to suffer, so she made an impossible decision. It’s okay to be angry about it. But don’t blame her for doing what anyone in her position would do.” 

Natsu stared at his hands a long moment, counting the creases of his palms. He’d taken so many things for granted. 

“But why is my life more important than Lucy’s?” he said. “What right do I have to live if it means someone else should die?”

“It’s not always about reasons. If things were reversed, would you do what you had to? Would you choose to save her from pain or let her suffer?”

The mere thought of hurting Lucy sent burning chills through him. Bumps prickled across his arms and neck. 

He couldn’t think too much about any of this right now. He didn’t have long to spend with Lucy. If she was dead set on doing this, he had to make the most of their time.

And then he had to stop her. 

But he didn’t want their final days to go down like this. He wanted her to remember only the fond memories, to think of him as someone who loved her, not someone who fought her in the end. 

Natsu leapt out of bed. His legs melted beneath him like molten lava burning through the floorboards. He collapsed to his knees. 

“You might be a little weak,” Juvia said. “We gave you some medicine while you were sleeping. A mild sedative, to ensure you didn’t...” 

Natsu grimaced. “How long until I can walk again?”

“Soon.” She crouched to offer a shoulder. “Please, let Juvia help you.”

_Thump._

_Thump._

_Stop._

His chest tightened. What was it about feeling so weak that made him _long_ for E.N.D.’s strength? Ever since his fight with Gray, something in Natsu _hungered_ for power, like tasting a new flavour he couldn’t recreate. 

Ever since the seed tried to kill him, Natsu hadn’t been himself. A kindling anger caught flame in the dried up remnants of his heart. His breathing slowed, matching the affected pace of his heart. He’d heard it said that people who died in dreams often died in real life, but this was something else entirely. Natsu felt like he’d just brawled Erza and Gildarts at the same time. 

Natsu slid an arm around Juvia’s shoulder. She stood slowly and walked him to the guild hall, a small crowd of familiar and unfamiliar faces rising to meet him. It was still early. He bowed his head, more apologetic than he ought to be. It wasn’t _his_ fault. Not really.

He heard Lucy’s laughter before he saw her standing there, clad in Virgo’s handmade suit. Lyon and Gray stood around her, talking in unison with an odd mixture of excitement and concern. Aquarius’s key twinkled soft light against her chest. She hadn’t noticed him enter.

“I spent a lot of time with texts like this,” Lyon was saying. “It’s the one benefit of having obsessed over Deliora for so long.” 

“Well? What does it say?” Gray leaned close to Lucy’s face. Natsu felt Juvia tense beside him, but not at Gray’s closeness with another woman. He hadn’t noticed the beating red marks on Lucy’s face until just now. 

Lyon took her face in his hands. Natsu’s heart gave an odd stutter, beating a jealous rhythm in his chest. He suppressed it, swallowing it down like foul tasting medicine to cleanse the ailing thought. 

_Thump._

_..._

_Thump._

_..._

_Stop._

“It’s a date. Or perhaps a number,” Lyon said. 

“A date?” Lucy wrinkled her nose. “For what?”

Lyon shared a long look with Gray, the kind of look one had to _squint_ to notice. But it was clear to Natsu, who didn’t miss the dance of Lyon’s fingers on Lucy’s skin. Natsu grit his teeth, trying to push down jealousy’s bitter aftertaste.

“I’m not certain. I can’t quite make it out.” He leaned closer. “‘Three’?”

_‘Perhaps I overestimated.’_

Natsu’s body clenched in ways he didn’t think possible. His muscles twisted so hard they burst to hot, mushy gore beneath his skin. He fell onto Juvia, their bodies tumbling onto the floor. Heads whipped around.

“Natsu!” Lucy and Gray moved in unison. 

Lucy helped Juvia to her feet.

Natsu rejected Gray’s hand, somehow bitter that Lucy didn’t help him first. “I can stand,” he said, though it took a long time to prove the words true. He wobbled to his feet, relieved to find his strength returned, though just barely. 

“Don’t push yourself,” Gray said. “Unless you want another beating.”

Natsu’s lips twitched into an unwanted smile. “Yeah, right. With those puny muscles? Have you even been training?”

Gray rumbled an uncharacteristic laugh. It seemed training in the mountains with Juvia had helped him more than he knew. All those icy walls were beginning to thaw. Too bad he wouldn’t be around to see Gray at his finest.

“What’s happening in three days?” Lyon blurted.

“It might not be a countdown,” Lucy said, self-consciously touching her cheek. “It’s an old book. It could mean anything.”

She knew exactly what it meant. 

“Regardless, while you’re here, I expect _both_ of you to be on your best behaviour,” Lyon said, his gaze flicking between Gray and Natsu. “We’ll have no more fighting. Understand?”

Natsu nodded almost mechanically. Lyon had more in common with Erza than should be possible. They were both pretty steadfast in their roles overseeing the guilds in their masters’ absence. And both were oddly frightening in said roles.

For a moment there, Natsu almost missed Erza and her brash punishments. Or was it the thought of never seeing her again that hurt the most? If he stopped Lucy, Natsu would remain a demon. He’d lose everything and everyone he’d ever loved. 

“Lucy, your face...” Natsu couldn’t finish the words. He just stared at her, red marks bleeding into sentences under her skin. 

Her expression soured. “Choose your words carefully,” she said. 

“N-nothing,” he deflected. “Wait, where’s Happy?”

“Sleeping,” Juvia said. “Poor thing, he was worried sick. He stayed beside you as long as he could. You shouldn’t wake him.” 

Natsu’s broken heart mended just a fraction. Happy was his best friend in the whole world. What would he think about all of this in the end? He’d suffered so much on this journey. Natsu had been so obsessed with Lucy he hadn’t stopped to think about how all of this might be affecting Happy. But therein lied the problem. Natsu’s emotions were heightened every time the seed awakened. It wasn’t that he was _obsessed_ with Lucy. 

E.N.D. was. 

If Lucy died protecting Natsu, all of Fairy Tail would mourn her absence. Everything would change. He’d never see her sitting there at the guild, flaunting her guild—

_Thump._

...

_Thump._

... 

He snatched Lucy’s hand. “We need to talk.”

“What? Natsu, I’m—” 

He dragged her out of the guild. 

* * *

Lucy sat on a wall nearby, the smooth stone shimmering pearl white in the morning sun. He’d forgotten how radiant she could be with such little effort. Braids of hair, a little longer than when their journey started, fluttered behind each shoulder. She still wore his scarf even though her face glistened with sweat from the sun, the tails swaying loose against the tight-fitting bodice of her suit. 

Scant few words left a trace under her skin, lending only a soft redness to her already glowing cheeks. No wonder Sorcerer Weekly marveled over her so much. Lucy really was beautiful. 

“If this is about yesterday, I don’t want to talk about it. Just forget everything you’ve heard,” she said, the words siphoning all light from the sun and rendering him in darkness.

“It’s not about that,” he said. He took her burned hand, tracing the ruined mark with his thumb. He couldn’t even bring himself to apologise. Something about the sight of it made him feel like things were truly over. It was a sign of the end. 

“It was an accident,” she said 

“No, it wasn’t.”

Lucy’s eyes darkened. “Of course it was. You weren’t yourself.”

“But I was, Lucy. E.N.D. is a part of me, and that part of me remembers how it felt to take away something you loved. I think I’ve always known that you’re the only person who can stop me. E.N.D. knows it too.”

“Natsu, let’s not talk about this anymore.”

“You needed me, Lucy. You lost Aquarius and I couldn’t even keep it together for one night.”

That’s right. Even though Natsu spent most of his time hiding away in his subconscious, too afraid to see what he might do to Lucy, parts of him belonged with E.N.D. too. It wasn’t that he’d been locked away in his mind. He simply couldn’t stand to see it. And that’s exactly what Lucy had meant when she’d told him to _accept it_. By refusing to hear what Zeref had to say, by fighting the demon seed, he’d only pushed himself into a corner. And now E.N.D. had nothing standing in his way. If Natsu was going to stop this, to stop himself, he needed to be in control. To be at the forefront of his mind. 

But there was something else, something about Zeref...

“I lost Aquarius a long time ago,” Lucy said, but the words sat like knives in his ears, piercing Natsu’s flesh and dripping hot blood that thumped hard in his thoughts. “And you returned her to me, didn’t you?”

_‘I can’t explain it, but I have an odd feeling. I could see a darkness in Lucy that wasn’t there before. She looks remarkably like her mother. Too much so. There might come a day when she needs me,’ Aquarius had whispered, offering Natsu the broken key Lucy had placed in her care. ‘I don’t bend the rules for everyone. But should Lucy be in trouble, I might turn the other fin just once. Hold onto it.’_

Natsu stared at the broken key now, watched it dangle and sway as she moved. Lucy planted her hands on the wall and leaned forward, inhaling the sweetness of a cool breeze. Floral scents wafted from gardens all across the street.

“Let’s go for a walk,” she said. “It’s beautiful along the river. And there are lots of places to see.”

Margaret Town _was_ beautiful, but seeing all the glittering waters reminded him of home. Reminded him that Natsu might never see Lucy balance on the edge of the canal or grin when she saw him watching, waiting to catch her should she fall. 

He’d always been watching over her, even without conscious effort. All this time, blindly observing, casually protecting the person he loved the most.

"Whatever you want,” he said.

_Thump._

_..._

_Thump._

_..._

_Stop_.

Lucy stood on the wall and followed it towards the eastern river, where a small wooden bridge connected nearby streets. She hopped off the wall and snagged his arm tightly, squeezing herself against him as they crossed the river. She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed, the sound of doubts being shaken free for just a moment. 

“We’re long overdue for a date,” she said. 

“A date?”

“Of course. What, you think because we’ve been intimate you don’t have to _date_ me?” she teased, not even the hint of a blush on her face.

The way she said it left him stunned. It wasn’t like Lucy to be so forward. Not when it came to things like _that_ , at least. But of course she was in a hurry. She knew they were running out of time. 

“Well, I guess we don’t really need to go on a date,” she said. 

“No. I want to.” Natsu stopped her. “Let’s go on a real date.”

Lucy smiled. “Well, in that case—”

“In three days.” 

The colour drained from Lucy’s face. “Natsu. Please.”

“What? You don’t want to?” 

When it was clear he didn’t intend to drop the subject, Lucy pulled him into a side street and down a narrowing alleyway. She glanced about for intruders, knowing better than to trust Gray or Juvia to leave them alone. 

“I won’t let go of the future, Lucy,” he said. “We’ll be a family. For real. You, me, Happy, and...”

“And?”

He grabbed her hands and shook them hard between them. “Let’s have a baby, Lucy.”

She spluttered a cough and stepped back, hammering her chest with a desperate fist. “A _what_?”

“A baby.”

Lucy held up a hand, requesting a silent moment with her thoughts. She moved to the wall, mumbling to the shadows rustling against it. After a long moment she twirled back to face him, frustration etched into her ruddy countenance.

“Are you out of your mind?!” she snapped. “We can barely afford to stay at an inn! How are we going to afford a _baby_?”

Natsu burst into laughter. 

“What?” she demanded, fists on her hips.

“You didn’t say no.”

Lucy’s entire body seemed to ignite. She turned away, fanning her cheeks and muttering to herself. 

“You know, Gildarts told me that Cana is the greatest thing that ever happened to him,” Natsu said. “Though, he said it in a _lot_ more words than that.”

“Natsu, Gildarts is...” Lucy shook her head. “I’m not ready to have a baby right now.”

“I know,” Natsu said. 

She turned around. “Are you _teasing_ me right now? I swear, Natsu, that isn’t funny! Do you even know how babies work?”

Natsu snaked an arm around her waist. “You don’t remember?” he whispered, his own hunger rising to meet the obnoxious heat of E.N.D.’s presence. “Should I remind you?”

Lucy smacked his mouth. “Did you forget where we are?”

Natsu grinned. “You didn’t say no,” he whispered. 

“I think it’s very _clear_ what I meant.”

“To the baby,” he said. 

“Wait, are you serious?”

He shrugged. “About being a family, yes.”

“Natsu, listen...”

“You know, Lucy, I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. Not the baby, just, about families. Well, about the baby too. But, that’s not the point.”

“What _is_ the point?” she asked, clearly hedging between discomfort and sincerity. She wanted to listen to him, but not at the expense of being teased again.

“I spent so long searching for Igneel. And then I learned that I had another family before him. A mother, a father, and a brother.”

_Thump...._

_Thump..._

_Stop_.

“Zeref,” she realised.

“I couldn’t get to know him. I barely even remember my own family. I think a part of me has always known there was something missing, something important. I was so mad, Lucy. I couldn’t see anything but my anger. But when that started to fade, I realised something. I miss him. I miss my brother.” Natsu placed a hand over his chest. “Under all that hatred, I...”

He couldn’t breathe. The mere thought strangled him, overpowering every demonic urge in his body. He was supposed to hate Zeref. To kill him. It was his purpose, his destiny. But he couldn’t do it. 

"So you finally realised.” Lucy smiled. “You’re allowed to grieve him, Natsu. He was your brother. And though blood doesn’t make a family, a part of you loved him, once. You played together and laughed together. That piece of you is allowed to miss him. It’s okay.” 

“But all of this is because of him. It’s because of Zeref!”

Tears came unbidden, traitorous, burning. He hated this. He hated himself so much he wanted to scream and chase the pain away. 

_Thump._

_Thump._

_Thump._

“Natsu, it’s okay.”

He wiped the tears from his face, refusing to lose himself completely. Suppressed feelings bubbled in his heart, restoring what little humanity remained. 

“Lucy, don’t hold back,” he said. "The next time we fight, you need to do everything you can to stop me.”

“Did you forget?” Light winked on her ring finger. “We made a promise. I’ll chase you down forever, if that’s what it takes.”

“I’m going to find a better ring, Lucy.”

“What?” She nursed it gingerly. “But I like this one.”

“Let’s become a real family.”

“I swear, Natsu, if you start talking about babies again I’m going to cry.”

He laughed at that. “No. Not babies.” 

He took her hand gently, admiring the ring on her finger, imagining something more refined, more elegant, something _perfect_ for Lucy in its place. He could see the struggles warring in her eyes. Neither of them could fully acknowledge the moment for its tenderness, not when time pushed them closer to an undeserving end. 

“Let’s get married, Lucy.”

Lucy’s eyes widened. “What? Right now?”

Natsu laughed. “No. In the future.” 

“Fine,” she said. “But on one condition.”

Natsu’s heart fluttered. He’d been expecting another rebuttal. “What is it?”

“When all of this is over, you’ll do it properly.”

He blinked, barely catching her meaning in time. “Wait, is that a yes?” 

“That means you have to get on one knee, Natsu. I’ve always _dreamed_ of a perfect proposal, you know. So, for now, consider it a _maybe_.”

“Oh, I know. I read your diary.”

Lucy’s mouth opened. “Y-you _what_?”

“Just kidding.”

She smacked him. “You’re a jerk.”

“ _Maybe_.”

She rolled her eyes. “Should I have said yes?”

“Hmmmm. Maybe.”

“Hey!”

“This means you have to live, Lucy.”

It seemed for just a moment she’d forgotten about their predicament, because the light in her eyes darkened just a smidgen. The truth emerged again with its dark clouds and never-ending thunderstorms. 

“I’ll marry you,” she said. “But no babies. Not yet.”

“One baby.”

Despite her obvious frustration, Lucy laughed. “In the future. But just one.”

“So you’ll live?”

“You’re full of questions today,” she said. “Just stop talking.”

“And do what?”

Lucy kissed him. “ _Please_ stop talking.”

Natsu didn’t need to ask questions anymore. He kissed her again, a man at the edge of his life, a man losing control, and Lucy felt it. She moaned against his mouth, fingers knotting hard in his hair, pulling him closer. 

They separated for a brief, agonising moment, chests heaving, hands desperate to be on skin. 

“I swear, this wasn’t my intention when I brought you back here,” she whispered. 

“Right.”

“I’m serious.”

“And now?”

She leapt against him, legs swinging around his waist. Natsu shoved her against the wall, crushing his mouth against hers. The world stopped. Time stopped. 

_Three days_. 

What was it about death that left people so _desperate_? So _famished_ for physical touch? He’d never wanted anything as much as he wanted her in that moment. 

_ThumpThumpThump._

“You make me human, Lucy,” he said.

“That’s Future Mrs. Dragneel to you,” she giggled. “Or should I hyphenate? I’ll have to discuss with Levy before I decide.”

They knew it was all a lie. 

Every promise rolled across the board like a no-faced dice, offering no path, no answers, no _thrill_. Natsu knew it every time he breathed in her scent, with every kiss of her lips on his skin. That future didn’t exist. 

They would forget everything now. Forget that demons and horrors lurked within the dark, uncertain future they proclaimed to want. He wanted to forget it all. 

And for a brief moment, he did. 

* * *

Natsu didn’t know what to expect when Gray asked for him that night. A lecture, maybe? Another fight? But the face that greeted him wasn’t icy cold. It was warm, inviting. The face of a friend.

A brother.

“We should talk,” he said.

Natsu stared into the silent guild hall, drunken members sprawled unconscious at Lamia Scale’s freshly installed bar. It still glistened with the scent of polish on brand new wood.

“Than talk,” Natsu said. 

“It’s about Lucy.”

Natsu didn’t so much as flinch. He’d been expecting this, though not in such a tame manner. He’d thought Gray would be angrier than this. 

“I don’t really know how to say this,” he continued.

“Just say it, Gray.”

“I don’t want to lose her either. You know that, right?”

“Of course. We’re friends.”

“And that’s why I’ll trust her on this. I have to.” Gray clenched a fist at his side. “My father gave me this power to stop you.” 

Natsu’s instincts kicked in just a moment too late. Adrenaline thumped a hot medley of fear and betrayal. He moved too slowly. Tendrils of water twisted all around him, enveloping him in a soapy-thick bubble. He spun to find Juvia standing in the doorway, tears on her face, hands guiding the shape of her creation. Gray touched the bubble gently, ice creeping along the cold surface.

“I’m so sorry,” Juvia mouthed. 

Natsu smashed his fists against the translucent barrier. “What are you doing?” 

Another figure emerged behind Juvia. Lucy stopped in the doorway, illuminated by dim candles hung from sconces within the wall. Letters swam through her face like creatures lurking beneath her skin, alive and breathing power.

_Thump._

_..._

_..._

“Are you sure?” Gray asked her.

Natsu’s body weakened to Juvia’s strange magic. His body sank into the breathable water, his feet lifting, back arching until he floated within his new cage. 

_Thump._

“We had one day,” she said, touching the words on her cheek. “And now we’re out of time.”

“This isn’t right,” Juvia sobbed. 

“Remember, you have to wait three days,” Lucy said. “If you don’t hear from Natsu or—”

“I know,” Gray’s tone fell somber. 

_..._

“Tell Happy I’m sorry,” Lucy said. “I don’t want to put him through anymore suffering.” 

“I’m coming with you. We can beat him together,” Gray insisted.

_..._

“Even if we do, what happens the next time? Or the time after that? I’m going to end this,” Lucy said. 

“Lucy...” Natsu breathed.

His eyelids fluttered closed. 

“I’m sorry, Natsu,” she said, her voice fading with every sap of his strength. “I don’t think I can make our date after all.” 

_Stop._


	20. No Matter What

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friendly reminder-this is not a tragedy. This story is not and never has been labelled as such. There will be a happy ending. So just enjoy the rocky ride as we march our way towards the ultra fluff awaiting us on the other side.

_Natsu..._

Spots of colour speckled Lucy's vision. She sought out her aching limbs, alarmed to find her right hand useless, her arm _grating_ with splintered bone and torn muscle. Broken, fractured, she couldn't tell. The bruising _hurt_. Hot pain flared and spit like flames feeding on marrow and misery. She couldn't move.

Carefully, she opened a single eye, her right cheek swollen and tender. Hot breaths dragged their claws against Lucy's dry throat. Her head throbbed, humming a Siren's song that tempted only danger and death. She tried to shut it out, but the pain of her broken body, the confusion of her whereabouts, served to harmonise with the beguiling melody.

_Open your eyes,_ it sang.

She knew this place. An odd familiarity slunk into her mind, visions of grandiose parties and motherly embraces gone too soon. Of salty tears and lurid arguments about money and power. Of rebellion.

A home. A beginning.

Something _creaked_ in the distance. Lucy's eyes snapped open, the Siren's song blaring to angry timbres. Shadows fled from the ghastly sound, scurrying to the far corners of the burning manor, exposing narrow trails of blood and long forgotten memories. Phantom pain passed through her. She remembered the sensation of fingers in her hair, yanking her hard across the foyer.

Overhead, puffs of black clouds ambled across the empty sky, weeping cold tears on the horrors scorching far, far below.

Where was the ceiling?

Eclipsed in darkness, Jude's office sat as empty as Lucy's memories of this place. Mismatched patterns dusted the floor where his desk had once been. And she remembered the days before that, remembered how he would kiss her forehead before she slept, and how he'd embrace her so tenderly, the way her mother used to. Before...

Raindrops _hissed_ where they kissed Lucy's skin. E.N.D.'s power roused warmth under her face, travelling deep into Lucy's DNA, changing her body, her magic.

Tepid fingers of smoke beckoned her to move, to stand, to _escape_. She choked on their putrid stench, barely aware of the floorboards squeaking a short distance away. With a tender arm, Lucy eased herself upright, strips of her torn suit clinging to sticky blood on the wall.

It hurt so much.

Propped against the wall, Lucy's head dropped to her chest, pain and fatigue weighting her down. Moving must've reopened an old wound, because something hot dribbled anew between the broken fingers of her right hand.

_'Let's get married, Lucy.'_

She glimpsed the ring on her finger, chipped and bloody. _Talk about ill timed nostalgia._

Shadowy footsteps inched closer, accompanied by a familiar pair of black boots. Natsu crouched on the balls of his feet, both hands draped over his knees as he looked her over.

"You..." Lucy rasped. She couldn't swallow. "Why didn't you kill me?"

"You said we had three days," he whispered.

Lucy closed her eyes. _Three days_. That's what Lyon had said—but it had been a lie. A deception meant to catch Natsu off guard. She'd wanted their last day together to be memorable, but now his last memories of her would be of _lies_ and incarceration. She'd imprisoned him like a wild animal. She was no better than Zeref...

Somewhere between Natsu's proposal and his ardent talk of babies, E.N.D. had stirred again. She'd sensed it when they'd made love. When he'd kissed her. Something hot and violent, something desperate. She'd barely had twenty-four hours to stop Natsu from awakening. From hurting the people she loved.

She'd asked Gray for three days. Just three days to stop him, without interruptions, without objections or judgement.

Natsu tilted her head with clawed fingers, surveying her bruised face, but not with his usual concern. This was the ravenous gaze of a hunter inspecting his trophy. Lucy barely found the strength to panic. He dropped something in her lap.

Tattered and stained with blood, Natsu's scarf barely covered her throbbing legs where he'd dropped it. The fingers of her left hand fisted around the soft material, seeking comfort in the familiarity of a past life. Maybe a part of him still remained after all.

_Throb_. Lucy's head bounced with flashes of a fight she barely remembered. She saw Natsu tearing across the Heartfilia grounds, an amalgam of dragon and demon, flames billowing hot in his tracks. She remembered the sickening _rip_ of his hands tearing the scarf at her neck and the crunch of bone that followed.

Well, that explained the _awful_ pain in her chest. She'd broken her ribs—or bruised them, if she were lucky.

"I thought you'd sleep another day," he said.

_Another day_? How much time had she lost?

Lucy's gaze slid to the doorway. The last time she'd been in this room, Lucy had walked away from her father, a girl abandoning her wealth for something far more valuable than gold and jewels. The walls still echoed with a little girl's fear. And now that fear was tenfold.

Maybe this place really was cursed.

The Junelle family certainly thought so. After buying out the premises, they'd simply abandoned it. Empty as the memories it left behind, the Heartfilia mansion was a ghost now, shivering black nightmares and cold gloom, illuminated only by Natsu's flames. No one had used the building since Jude lost his fortune. It sat alone.

Just like her.

"Natsu..." Lucy's breath rattled in her chest.

"I was worried you'd die before we could play again." His tone was playful, but the curve of his mouth revealed a monster's simper.

Lucy's head fell back against the wall, defeated by wounds she couldn't even see. Smoke twisted through the gaping hole in the manor ceiling, clouding the night sky, obscuring the crescent moon and its lopsided smirk.

That's right. She'd fought him and lost. They'd come crashing through the ceiling hard, but Natsu hadn't killed her. She remembered him sitting there, watching, talking all kinds of nonsense about changing the future and...

Lucy couldn't remember.

With Gray's help, Lucy had caged Natsu in Juvia's magic, returning him to a comatose state. She'd thought it would be easier that way—she could simply move him somewhere safer, somewhere quiet, and they'd finish this once and for all. She'd brought Natsu to the empty mansion, hoping to keep him away from any civilization, knowing the vast expanse of her family's land and the true danger E.N.D. posed. She hadn't expected him to wake up so soon.

The back of her head still throbbed where he'd smacked her. The distinct _pop_ of Juvia's magic failing would haunt her into the next life. The fight was a blur now, blazing in smoke all around them. She hadn't been able to summon, and so Lucy had _run_.

This hadn't always been the plan. She'd really thought she could ignore it, that one day he'd change _just enough_ that she could end things, tap into E.N.D.'s magic and use it all up. But now she knew better. There was no intermittent stage. No safe space to draw on his power and expunge it in the same instant. She had to fight him at full strength. And win.

When Lucy's three days were over, Gray would notify Fairy Tail, and the guild would make their way here to clean up whatever mess remained. Or to help, if Natsu proved himself undefeated.

Two days had passed already. The first a long day of travel, the second wasted on her wounds. Which meant...

Lucy had one more day to beat him.

Natsu skulked closer, warm breath fanning her face. Lucy grabbed his shoulder and squeezed, pushing down the fear until her hands barely shook at all.

"You want to fight, right? Then let's fight. No more games, Natsu."

Natsu knocked her hand away. "You'll be lucky if you live through the night," he said. "Fighting weak opponents is no fun."

Lucy bristled. "I'm not weak."

Intrigued, _cocky_ , Natsu leaned in close. Lucy loathed the closeness of his face. It reminded her of precious memories, of soft kisses and tender caresses.

"Yeah?" he goaded.

She hated this. Hated the way his _voice_ sounded just like Natsu. This wasn't the E.N.D. she'd expected. This _thing_ was the perfect combination of the man she loved and the monster Zeref created. He was so distinctly human that it made her sick to see him so cruel.

"I'm still alive, aren't I?" she said.

His tongue dipped into the crease of his mouth. "For now."

"What do you want?"

"You, Lucy." Natsu caressed her cheek, his lips ghosting her mouth. "Always you."

Lucy surrendered herself to him. If light was love and strength, then weakness was its shadow, and right now that darkness shrouded Lucy in deleterious frailty.

"I miss you," she sobbed.

Natsu pressed his mouth to hers, hard, hungry. Lucy trembled, a thin line drawn between reality and daydreams, of kisses and bloodshed. She wanted the line to blur. For this kiss to mean the end. That things were okay and everything was back to normal. But it wasn't.

Natsu deepened their kiss. Lucy gasped a breath, left hand reaching for his torn shirt, finding hot muscle and scars. He grabbed her arms, squeezing, not caring about her broken bones. She whimpered. He caught her bottom lip in his teeth, biting. Hard.

_'He marked you.'_

He touched his forehead to hers. "I'm here, Lucy."

He was toying with her. He wanted to drag this out as long as possible—not for Lucy, but for _Natsu_. He wanted him to suffer. Which meant...

Natsu was still in there.

Lucy smashed her forehead against his. Natsu recoiled, holding his face in one hand, the other bursting to flames. His gaze snapped to hers, blood dripping from his nose. Scales rippled across his tan skin.

If she didn't move, Lucy would die.

She spit blood and wobbled to her feet, right arm limp and useless, golden keys glittering from the torn fabric of her suit. She knotted his scarf through the loop on her whip.

"Now I'm _really_ fired up!" he yelled.

"You don't get to say that!"

Natsu lunged at her, the motion too quick, too wide. Lucy twirled around him, stumbling against the wall. Broken bones screamed beneath swollen skin. She numbed the pain in her mind, forced herself to move, shoving herself across the room with her left hand. She kicked the door off its broken hinges and raced for the downstairs foyer, memories and fear colliding in the shadowy moonlight.

Natsu leapt from the upper floor, a burning mass of rage. Lucy crashed into him, _screamed_. He kicked her hard in the stomach. She rolled across the floor, unspeakable pain dancing between the marrow of her bones.

How was she supposed to beat him?

With an awkward, painful shimmy, she freed a single key from her guard.

_Taurus_.

Please work. Please work. _Please work!_

She tapped the key to her chest, summoning an amalgam of shared power. Taurus manifested in a whorl of silver light, defending Lucy from Natsu's incoming blow with his mighty axe.

"Lucy! What happened to your beautiful face?" Taurus gasped.

"Focus on the fight!" she snapped.

"Hiding behind your friends?" Natsu spat. "You really are weak."

Taurus vanished in a burst of flames, a whispered apology twisting to nothing like broken dreams. His power remained strong within her, the star dress retaining its new form.

"I'm not weak!" she insisted.

"Then prove it!"

Natsu leapt into the air, driving his fist down into the ground, _twisting_. Lucy rolled away, gasping painful breaths. She flung herself onto the stairs. He grabbed her left foot, but Lucy whipped her right, crushing her heel into his temple. Natsu decimated the bottom steps in a raging frenzy, creating a _crunching_ gap of splintered wood between them.

Lucy raced back up the steps, dashing for her mother's old library. There were passages here not even Natsu could find.

She hoped.

"Lucy!" he called after her. "I thought you didn't want to play games anymore."

Lucy shivered. This wasn't like any encounter with E.N.D. she'd had so far. Something was horribly different. Those crimson eyes shimmered with remnants of Natsu's light, as though he watched from within the confines of that monster's power. It left her weak, hesitant. Was he trapped in there, watching as the fight played out between them? Or was it simply that he'd become what he was supposed to be.

No. She'd never accept that!

_Well now,_ Zeref's voice whispered, _this is quite the predicament._

"I don't have time for these delusions," she gasped.

_He isn't at full strength, Lucy. You must finish this now._

Lucy hated their talks, hated the way Zeref's presence lingered within the threads of E.N.D.'s power. Every time she spoke with Zeref, every word they'd exchanged, all of it was a tangle of memories in E.N.D.'s power. A concoction of nightmares, nothing more. It was the seed's way of tempting her, of warning her, of deceiving her. All of it was a confusing storm of emotion. And yet, in the eye of that hurricane, Lucy had found the truth of their bond. She knew how to sever it. And that it would cost her _everything_.

"Okay, Lucy," she told herself. "You can do this."

Ducking into the library, Lucy ripped abandoned books from shelves, searching for a curved handle beneath the wood. She pulled it, hard, freeing a small alcove in the wall. She followed the narrow passageway, descending stairs into the kitchen storage. Cold, damp air washed through the dark space. A musty stench wafted in with the smoke. She held her breath, barely swallowing a cough.

If she moved through the kitchen, Lucy could leave through the postern door behind the manor. The same way Spetto used to sneak her outside when her father forbade playing in the yard.

And then what?

How long was she going to run away? No, no, this wasn't about running. She had to get him out into the open, had to level the playing field. His magic was too destructive for this.

In dead silence, Lucy shuffled through the storage room. She pressed her back against the cool wall and sidled towards the door. She stopped, listened. Nothing. Preparing for battle, Lucy jiggled keys into her left hand, emptying the guard on her arm.

She hadn't been this scared in a long time. Not since she first joined Fairy Tail. Back then, she hadn't known her true strengths, her true capabilities, always quick to hide in Horologium when things got tough. Now, though...

The door crashed open. Natsu smacked his fists together and smiled almost _too_ delightfully. "Did you forget I have a _keen_ sense of smell? I know your scent better than anyone, Lucy."

"Of course I didn't forget," Lucy said. "Did _you_ forget that this is _my_ territory? I have the advantage here."

Natsu shoved her deeper into the room. His eyes darted for the passage behind her. Flames burst across the room, illuminating a rapid loss of hope. Walls of fire blocked her retreat. Lucy backed up, edging dangerously close to the flames.

"This hasn't been _your_ territory in a long time, Lucy."

She had no choice. Lucy tapped _every_ key to her chest, a bouquet of power shimmering gold. Power surged, sputtering, _stagnant_. No. She couldn't reach them.

Natsu dove at her.

Plue sprang into the air like a phantom conjured from Lucy's darkest dreams. He spread his arms wide, protecting Lucy from the approaching beast. He clung to Natsu's face, obstructing his vision, diverting his path. They crashed into the wall nearby.

"Plue!"

Natsu swept him aside like paper tossed in the breeze. Plue hit the wall and vanished. But it was enough. Lucy shoved Natsu aside and pushed into the kitchen and burst from the postern door.

She'd barely made it into the sweet fresh air when her body hitched forward like a stringless puppet. Keys scattered across the ground. She hit the grass hard, landing clean on her broken arm. Lucy's screams echoed back to her in waves of pure anguish, filling her lungs, her mind, her _soul_ with terror.

She snatched up the nearest key and summoned, magic returning to her in a moment of pure despair. Power flooded her body, pulsing, _burning._ vomited blood.

Standing in the doorway, flames burning high like horns on his head, Natsu clutched his face and screamed. He retched as she choked up more blood.

Lucy's spirits didn't come. But something else did. A blur shot through the sky, striking Natsu clean in the head. It shrieked Lucy's name as it went, hurtling through the sky in a clumsy blue mass. Lucy's eyes widened.

Natsu rubbed his face, grumbling at the sudden distraction.

Happy sprawled across the ground. Lucy reached for him, the fingers of her left hand barely touching his trembling body. He shuffled closer to her, strands of fur tinged black where he'd touched Natsu's flames.

"We're a family, Lucy," he whispered.

"You shouldn't have come here. I wanted you to be _safe_."

Somebody must've cracked.

"Does it hurt?" Happy asked her.

Lucy smiled through a sudden onset of tears. "No. Not at all."

Happy paled in terror. "Leave her alone!"

Natsu yanked Lucy to her knees. He gripped her broken arm, suspending her in mesmerising pain. Spirals of warm colours bled to a numbing black. Her breathing slowed. Lucy teetered forward, torpefied. He caught a handful of hair, suspending her an inch off the ground. Tears dripped onto the bloody grass.

"It's a family reunion," Natsu said, shoving her aside.

Happy stood with Natsu's approach, his face a mess of fear and courage. "You won't hurt Lucy. Not anymore. I won't let you!"

He was trying to protect her. Lucy latched onto Natsu's leg, her body dragging with his weight. Natsu shook her off like a petulant child.

"Stop," she begged. "This is between us."

Lucy grabbed him tighter, broken fingers useless. She lost her grip. His boot crunched against her face, blood spraying as Lucy spun dizzily across the ground. Black spots danced behind her eyelids.

"Don't hurt him, Natsu. _Please_."

_Don't lose both of us._

He stopped. Natsu's head lowered, his gaze sweeping the mess of keys on the ground. He glanced over his shoulder and smiled a devil's grin.

"How are you going to fight me without your precious friends?" he mocked.

"I don't..." Lucy shoved herself onto an elbow. "I don't need them to beat you."

Natsu roared with laughter.

"No!" Happy screamed.

Natsu pounced on her. Lucy stepped aside, barely dodging a right hook. Natsu jabbed punches in quick succession, flames bursting hot. She whipped her leg outwards, blocking the onslaught with her left hand when he moved too close. They exchanged blow for blow.

When he realised she wouldn't give up, Natsu took a deep breath, smoke and fire tunneling towards him. He gulped it all down, savouring the hot taste, preparing an attack not even Lucy could prevent. She snatched a key off the ground, tossing it high into the air. She caught it between two fingers, not waiting to see whose key it was as she tapped it against her chest. Urgent.

_Let me protect Happy. No matter what!_

Cancer leapt into action before her transformation was complete, defending Lucy from the incoming flames. Tears blurred her vision. He obstructed Natsu's approach, driving a hefty claw into the demon's stomach. The two brawled hard, kicking dust and fire into the dark night. Lucy dropped one of her twin blades as it formed, unable to carry it in her broken fingers. She'd have to make do with her left hand.

Natsu breathed more flames, fire blazing towards her in concentrated spirals. Cancer leapt into the fray, eviscerated by the ferocious heat. The magic charged onward, opening its glowing mouth and snapping hot teeth all around her.

Happy ripped Lucy off the ground, her feet barely missing the blast of flames below. "I won't let you do this alone!" he yelled.

"Get away! While you still can!"

"I won't let you die, Lucy!" Happy cried.

"I need you to trust me, Happy," she said. "I won't die. I won't leave you!"

"But—"

"Please! Trust me!"

He let her go. Lucy landed on the balls of her feet, not as deft in her current state. Natsu rushed her again, those demonic eyes wide in a rhapsodic frenzy.

He was enjoying this.

"There's a fire in my belly!" he roared.

Lucy exchanged a long look with Happy. A silent promise. She struck with her blade, catching Natsu's shoulder, slicing his arm. She swung again, sweeping a long arch, forcing space between them. Lucy parried an incoming blow, but Natsu caught the blade in his left hand, fingers squeezing until blood cracked from his scaled skin.

She recalled his fight with Gray, recalled the wound on his stomach that would surely scar—if it hadn't already. Her eyes flickered to his torn shirt, searching. It was a weakness. She had to use it, to disarm him for just a moment. Just long enough to locate her missing power.

Lucy wrestled for control, but Natsu's grip was too strong. "Give him back to me!" she screamed. "I want to see him!"

Natsu smiled. "Don't you get it? Natsu doesn't want to see you."

"You're lying!"

"You can see him in the next life."

Lucy kicked him. Hard. Natsu skidded backwards, grass and soil tearing beneath his feet. She thrust the blade, driving it with the combined speed of adrenaline and Cancer's lingering power. To her surprise, he didn't move. The blade slid home in his stomach. Shock riveted her. She saw no pain in his expression, no joy, no fear. Nothing. He was a husk.

For just a moment, E.N.D. had relinquished control.

Lucy grit her teeth. A ghostly chill passed through her, like hands guiding her body in the absence of conviction. She shoved the blade in harder. Natsu coughed blood, crimson eyes dulling just a fraction.

"Natsu, I'm sorry."

The sword vanished, twines of Cancer's power fraying to loose threads. She dropped to her knees and puffed, blistering pain overcoming her. Her bones ached so much. Everything hurt.

Happy rushed to her side. He grabbed her left arm, shaking Lucy frantically. "Get up, Lucy."

"Don't worry, buddy," Natsu said. "She'll be okay. You both will, soon."

"I'm not your buddy," Happy sobbed.

Natsu smiled. "You're right. We're family."

That sweet voice burned far worse than any of Natsu's flames. Lucy pushed herself onto one foot, her right knee planted firm in the ground. Happy stepped in front of her, protective.

"Don't come any closer," he demanded.

His back looked so strong, but in the face of Natsu's tremendous power, he was a mere fly caught in a spider's web.

Natsu stepped forward. "Move," he demanded.

Happy shook his head, defiant, _strong_. "No. You'll have to make me."

Before he could strike, something stopped him. Natsu halted as if bound in time, flaming fist suspended like a frozen meteor.

"What are you doing?" E.N.D. hissed. His eyes flashed rage. "Your time is done, son of Igneel. I will have my vengeance and then I'll rip your world apart!"

_Natsu._

Magic returned to Lucy, jolting in piquant sparks. She shoved Happy out of harm's way and charged. Time slowed. She had one moment. This was her opening, her _chance_.

_One breath_.

She tackled Natsu to the ground. E.N.D. didn't move, didn't blink. They hit the ground hard, rolling, rolling, _rolling_.

Lucy landed on top of him. "You're mine!"

But she hesitated.

Natsu captured her face in both hands. "Are you scared of me, Lucy?" he asked her.

Lucy's mind flickered back to their sparring session in Crocus. He'd seemed so vulnerable then. This man didn't care if she feared him—he _wanted_ it.

"Yes. I'm terrified of you."

He smiled. "Where..."

"What? What is it?"

"Our date. Where should..."

Her lip trembled. Lucy jabbed him in the stomach, twisting her knuckles in his opened wound. Natsu spluttered, wheezing, pain vivid in those dark eyes. He snatched a fistful of hair and yanked her closer. Lucy didn't fight him.

"I'm all fired up, Natsu," she whispered.

"What did you do?"

Lucy felt their power returning to her—felt the summon from earlier, the collection of her spirits' magic, unfurling like ribbons on miracles, setting them free. It was too late to stop it.

He ripped Aquarius's key from her neck, the broken shaft twinkling in hot firelight. She caught the crystal lock before it fell, a soft hum emanating from the smooth surface.

Columns of flame burst from the ground, casting the world in hazy light. One by one, pillars of flame rippled black. The eyes that sought her now were empty. Lost. Natsu screamed like a man tortured within an inch of his life, split so far between pain and panic they'd never piece him back together.

_Now._

Lucy straightened, eyes closed, E.N.D.'s power merging with her own, illuminating everything but the darkest depths of her soul. She called to it, and it answered. Evil magic, _black_ magic, oozed across the floor.

_Thump._

"How dare you call me?"

"Aquarius," Natsu wheezed. "Lucy..."

Lucy's eyes opened to a stream of white and gold light. In the misty glow, she saw Aquarius, a picture of angry perfection.

Beneath her, Natsu gripped Aquarius's key in both hands, warring with E.N.D.'s bellicose spirit and a desire to protect those he loved.

Aquarius shot Lucy a scathing glance, hurt, angry. "I knew I saw too much Layla in you."

Lucy didn't move, instead squeezing her legs hard around Natsu's waist. Aquarius doused the flames all around them, pushing away the darkness, the blackness. Hot steam buffeted Lucy, salty and wet.

Within the mist of smoke and steam, more spirits joined them, conjured with a delay of Lucy's power. Cancer. Scorpio. Capricorn. Gemini, their small forms seated on Taurus's bulking shoulders. Aries, who wasted no time seizing Loke's hand.

"You promised me," Loke snapped. "You promised you'd never be Karen!"

Tears dripped onto Lucy's cheek. "Please. Lend me your strength."

Arrows thundered all around them. Sagittarius touched his hand to Lucy's arm, a small gesture of respect. The others joined them, standing at her back, their fingers gentle, otherworldly as they passed between their world and hers.

"Princess, I'm sorry we're late," Virgo said.

"Please," Aries begged. "Let our strength be enough."

"You have to send us back!" Loke urged.

Gemini adopted Lucy's form. "We love you, Lucy. Our power is yours."

Lucy drew in the dregs of her waning magic, borrowing from her spirits, using it to flush out what remained inside her. She knew it already. The one magic, _hope_ , love. It would be their salvation in the end.

Combined power surged in Lucy like never before. Her garments tore and reformed into silky white, red ribbons bound to her bodice and sleeves. Hot light flared under her skin, in her eyes, blinding her completely.

"What did you do?!" Natsu snarled, his body paralyzed.

_'They say if you wish for something hard enough, you can make it a reality.'_

"I want to be with you, Natsu! I want..."

_I want to be a family with you._

Blinding power burst all around them, fissures of immense light rupturing the ground. Natsu's screams joined the baleful cries of her spirits.

"We're with you, Lucy," Loke whispered.

"You selfish brat, if you die..." Aquarius snaked her arms around Lucy from behind. "I'll _kill_ you!"

Lucy smiled.

Natsu snatched the ribbons on her bodice, untangling them and screaming with a desperation she'd never heard before.

"My name is Lucy Heartfilia," she said, her voice an echo of powers transcending blood and time, "daughter of Layla Heartfilia, descendant of Anna. And I'm here to stop you."

Natsu screeched violently. "Lucy!"

Lucy touched her forehead to his. "Now _disappear._ "

Concentrated power unleashed in hot pillars of light, so tall they pierced the night sky. Stars formed in a glittering pattern on the empty canvas, twinkling new life into the smokey horizon, ebbing soft magic and healing warmth. The stars exploded and fell, singeing everything.

"Make sure you keep our promise," Loke said.

Hands released her, powers depleted, whispered sorrows haunting the vacant land. Lucy collapsed.

_I want to live!_

* * *

E.N.D.'s power fractured within him. Natsu howled, the pain overbearing, piercing him like thorns pushed too deep. Lucy's light bore through him like an antidote for E.N.D.'s poison, searing in its angry attempt to destroy the seed from within.

Lucy's body weight shifted against him, light. _So inhumanly light_. His fingers tangled in her gown, seeking reality. He kissed her passionately, carelessly, a man reclaiming his life. She didn't return the kiss, didn't breathe. Natsu shook her.

"Lucy?"

No. No, no, no!

Natsu eased her off him, her body rolling limp at his side. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening!

"It'll be okay, Natsu," a voice whispered.

He turned to see her standing in the smoke. Natsu scrambled to his feet, charging her with only blinding compassion. Natsu rushed into Lucy's violent warmth, _through it_. He whipped around. She looked so valiant, so brave.

So broken.

"You shouldn't move too much. That wound looks bad." Her eyes ticked to where she'd stabbed him. Hot blood oozed from the opened cut.

"Why, Lucy?"

"Tell Gray..." Lucy offered her brightest smile. "I'm sorry."

Natsu lurched for her. She stepped out of reach, recoiling not with disgust but with sorrow. Two silhouettes appeared behind her, so faded he almost didn't recognise them. First Master...

And Zeref.

Lucy joined them in the smoke.

"Remember, Natsu. No matter what..." Her voice echoed. "I love you."

Only Zeref looked back as they disappeared.

Of all her spirits, only Aquarius remained, summoned by Natsu's desperation. She bent over Lucy's battered body and _wept_. It was the first time he'd ever seen Aquarius look so _vulnerable_.

"You rotten little..." Aquarius cradled Lucy against her chest. "What is it about the Heartfilia blood that condemns you all to _this_?!"

Light oozed from Lucy's body, rippling like golden waters where there should be blood. Aquarius gathered it up in great spirals, containing it in a solid bubble. Lucy's body shattered like glass in Aquarius's arms, glowing fragments that fluttered into the ashen sky. Natsu reached for the broken pieces, snatching air and heat.

"Lucy!" Happy sprang into the air, defeated, desperate, trying to catch the floating pieces of their lost friend.

"Go home, boy. Live the life she wanted for you." Aquarius's gate opened in great orbs of white and gold. "And don't you dare summon me again."

Something vibrated in his pocket, a low _thrum_ of magical power. Natsu withdrew the key and flinched. White crystal peeled away, revealing an inky lapis undercoating, oozing darkness and despair.

"Where is she?" Natsu demanded.

Aquarius smiled solemnly and vanished.

In the far distance, Natsu heard the sounds of approaching footsteps, of urgent friends coming to rescue those they loved. Gray must've contacted Fairy Tail early. It didn't matter, though...

Natsu collapsed to his knees, Happy falling into his arms. E.N.D.'s power bled from his soul, from his body, a poison sucked dry by Lucy's sacrifice. He stared at the scorched grounds, at the burning manor behind him, and surrendered himself to harsh wounds and exhaustion. His face hit the ground, darkness edging into his vision.

They were too late.

On that day, as futures crumbled and hopes died, Lucy Heartfilia disappeared without a trace.


	21. After The Rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I highly recommend reading the prelude before you read this chapter. It details some of Natsu's perspective when we switch to Lucy's POV, and will fill in a few blanks. I'm sorry if these last few chapters are a little clunky. This chapter would've been up sooner but I recently had to go back to work and I haven't been sleeping well (the stress and fears of going back too soon). I plan to work on some edits in the near future. Until then, enjoy the story in its rawest form haha.

"Isn't it pretty?"

Natsu didn't turn at the intrusion. His heart didn't leap at the sweet lilt of Lucy's gentle tone in his head. Instead it sighed and dropped, leaving a gaping hole in his stomach, letting the cold truths freeze his bones and blood.

He stared numbly through the frosted window, watching whorls of snow blanket Magnolia in dusty layers of glittering white. It gathered thick on the pavement outside. Sunlight glinted across the frozen canal, reflecting an array of colours. At least, he assumed it did. Since Lucy's death, Natsu didn't know true vibrancy.

Only darkness.

He hadn't moved since returning to Lucy's apartment. It was habit by now—or should he call it a vice?—to sit on Lucy's bed and watch the world move while he remained frozen. Alone. Without her.

This wasn't like losing Igneel. It wasn't like any feeling he'd ever felt before. He'd thought Lucy's absence would cause him grief, distress, feelings so black and blue they'd leave him bruised and scarred. But it didn't. He couldn't mourn her, couldn't breathe, couldn't think. He just existed. Neither happy nor sad; neither broken nor whole.

"Are you really going to ignore me, Natsu?"

Natsu turned stiffly. Lucy met his gaze across the room, white dress blooming in delicate silks and red lace. Blonde waves tumbled down her back, trailing long across the floor like golden ribbons. After describing the gown to Levy, she'd deducated that it was a combined Star Dress of every spirit—a representation of her bond with them, and her desire to save him. And Natsu had seen it in his dreams. Been warned of this result so many times.

But he hadn't seen anything. Just like the Wise Mage Hitomi, he'd been blind. And like the others, he'd refused to hear the callings, refused to speak of them. And now he'd lost everything.

"You're not real," he said. The words tasted bitter on his tongue. He'd always thought reality after breathing in E.N.D.'s poison would be a scrumptious sweetness. It wasn't. Earth Land's vibrancy dulled, crimsons faded to nudes, sapphires to greys. Delicious flavours were cardboard bland. Nothing was the same without her.

He reached instinctively for his scarf, forgetting that it too was lost. Vanished with Lucy's body. He turned back to the window, doomed to the cold.

The bed squeaked beside him, and for just a moment, one fragile second, Natsu _actually_ believed she'd come back to him. He turned to look at her, those dark eyes so full of life.

"You need to stop this," she said. "You're pushing them away. Fairy Tail, they're your family."

" _Our_ family," he griped.

Natsu averted his gaze like a child avoiding his mother's lecture. Lucy didn't reprimand him, though. She cupped his hand on the bed, squeezing with a gentleness that shouldn't feel quite so real.

"Happy is better off without me," he muttered.

"He needs you, Natsu. You're both enduring something so…"

There wasn't a word in existence to describe how this felt.

Natsu should've ripped his hand free, should've yelled at her, screamed until the numb greys bled to a blistering black. It was there in his head, _Why did you leave me?_ A question so toxic he was too afraid to grasp it for fear it'd rot all that remained of his heart. Instead he simply looked at her, attentive, and forced himself to smile as he said, "You're dead, Lucy."

Dead, and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

She touched his chest. "As long as you remember, I will always live on."

He wanted to melt into that touch, to believe that it was all real. He wanted her to yell at him and laugh with him and _exist_ with him. But this wasn't Lucy.

It wasn't.

That first month after Lucy's death had been _torture_. He'd spent the majority of his time bedridden, magic so depleted he couldn't even conjure a _spark_ in Igneel's name. Porlyusica had warned him that Lucy's sacrifice might not have worked. She'd spent hours a day monitoring him, watching for odd spikes in his magical power. Much like Minerva's transformation, they could not fully remove the demonic traces in Natsu's body. They could, however, maintain control of it now. The seed had withered and died, but traces of that power, of E.N.D.'s influence would remain. As a consequence, Natsu remembered everything about that day. Remembered how it felt to crush Lucy's bones, to hear her cry and do nothing.

He'd lost count of how many times Erza had rescued him from the brink of despair, or how many times Gray had talked him down from an episode. Wendy and Levy checked him frequently, watching his health and documenting any changes.

Lisanna visited him often, but her face was a cold reminder of how it felt to lose someone he loved so dearly. He cherished her compassion, but he tired of old wounds being sliced open. She'd understood and kept her distance, instead writing him letters to comfort him. It helped. Just a little.

The second month came with only a glimpse of light, like a sliver of sunlight trapped behind a locked door. Gildarts had returned to Fairy Tail, telling tales of dangerous adventures and doting on Cana where he saw fit. He'd thanked Natsu for his hard work in Crocus and offered to take him on his next journey. But how could he go? How could he pursue a new journey when their last one ended so badly?

Lucy squeezed his hand. "What are you thinking about?"

"Does it hurt?" he asked her. "Being stuck there, does it hurt?"

Lucy smiled. "I no longer remember what pain feels like."

A single tear rolled down Natsu's cheek. He'd been warned that Lucy would gradually lose memories as she wandered the Golden Plains. He'd tried everything he could think of to rescue her. "How soon will you forget..."

His heart seized at the very thought of her ever forgetting who he was. In his darkest thoughts, Natsu still saw Lucy in his mind's eye, a single fragment of her soul trapped within E.N.D.'s withered seed. Lucy didn't deserve to wander alone in the Golden Plains, losing herself, losing her light.

But there was nothing they could do.

By the fourth month, Natsu had exhausted all strategies. Not even Levy could find information on crossing into the afterlife beyond forbidden black magics, and when he'd begged to try, Makarov had demanded Levy stop investigating.

They didn't want him to end up like Zeref, cursed to a lonely immortal life. But Natsu might as well be cursed. Days felt like an eternity without her.

The fifth month came with new heartaches. After a devastating relapse, he'd scorched the guild's library in a near-demonic frenzy. They were lucky to salvage most of the books. He couldn't face Makarov after that. He couldn't face any of them anymore. And so he'd stopped visiting the guild.

Healing took time, Wendy reminded him. But time wandered in the wrong direction for Natsu. He wanted so badly to go backwards, to return to those special days with Lucy by his side.

It wasn't until the sixth month that Natsu stopped leaving the apartment. Winter's cold breath filled him with a burning ire. He stayed alone in the darkness, sleeping for hours a day.

Dreams were the only place he could see her now.

"You should apologise to Happy," she said. "He looked upset."

Natsu grimaced. Happy had pestered him all day to join him at the guild, but Natsu had refused, and the two had argued. He and Happy rarely argued.

"Are you okay?" he countered. "Is Lucy okay?"

Lucy tipped her head. "I'm just a dream, Natsu. I can't speak on Lucy's behalf. But she wouldn't want you to live like this. You should visit the guild, be with your friends. With _our_ friends."

It occurred to Natsu then that he was dreaming, which meant he'd fallen asleep watching the snowfall. Alone.

And that meant he was vulnerable to—

Natsu woke with a start. His face hit the floor hard as Erza yanked him out of bed. She kicked him onto his back and stunned him with that famous Titania glare. The room spun dizzily for a moment, a blur of ceiling and walls, waterfalls of colour crashing to mute tones.

"That's enough," Erza snapped. "I can tolerate you breaking furniture and fighting with the others, but I won't let you mope around all day. Lucy wouldn't want this for you."

Natsu expelled a heavy breath. "Lucy doesn't get a say in this."

Fists on hips, Erza glowered over him like a raging thunderstorm breaking through the calm serenity of still clouds.

"Enough! Get. Up."

Natsu sat upright, but _not_ because she demanded it. His right arm tingled from having slept on it too long.

"Come with me," she beckoned.

Natsu rolled his eyes. "Right now?"

"Hmmm. I suppose you _should_ dress first," she agreed.

"I don't want to."

"I don't care," Erza snapped. "I'm done babying you. We're a guild, Natsu. We aren't whole with you gone."

"We aren't whole without Lucy, either!"

Erza yanked him off the ground. "We miss her too, Natsu. We miss her every single day. The guild will never be the same without her." To his surprise, tears dripped onto Erza's cheeks. "And now I fear I'm losing you to the same fate."

Natsu's resolve weakened, the bile in this throat thinning just enough that he could breathe again. "Fine."

Her smile brightened. "Good. Because I need you to sign some paperwork. You caused quite a bit of destruction, you know."

He grimaced. _Of course there's a catch._

Natsu collected his clothes from Lucy's desk, exposing the mess of keys he'd left there. He'd collected each one after her death, hoping to gain some answers, trying and failing to summon their missing friends. He didn't know much about celestial spirits, but Loke had _always_ come when called. To hear only silence now cemented Lucy's death. Made it so real. So final.

Something hit the ground with a small _clink_ as he dressed _._ Aquarius's broken key. He'd kept it on his person ever since. Not that it did him any good. Aquarius had been able to suppress whatever darkness corrupted Lucy's magic that day, but she hadn't been able to save her. It had all been for nothing.

Irritated, Natsu stepped over the key and finished dressing, following Erza into the billowing blizzard outside. He didn't really need a coat, but she insisted he wear one anyway. He'd kind of missed her motherly tendencies.

* * *

The guild was eerily quiet. Conversations didn't boom like they used to. Laughter didn't echo and fights didn't explode into chaos. Everyone just sat with their drinks and their feelings, nursing shared wounds.

Natsu's entry had only dampened their mood. Happy hadn't joined him until later. They both sat in silence now, never sure what to say.

Gajeel joined them shortly after, sitting across the table with his face in his hands. He'd never looked so ragged.

Juvia dropped into a seat beside him. "You look tired, Gajeel."

"I love those kids," he mumbled. "But I'm _so_ tired, Juvia. They just won't _sleep_."

"Well, nobody said being a father would be easy," Juvia said.

Natsu tried to tune out their conversation. Thoughts of parenthood left him aching for the future he'd seen. And for the promise he'd made to Lucy. He'd thought about it so many times—how he'd propose to her. About the family they'd create. All things that never mattered before.

Cana slid into the seat on Gajeel's other side. She took Natsu's hands across the table. "Shall I read your future?"

Natsu didn't even have the strength to decline.

Gray slid a drink across the table and joined Natsu's side. "Are you drunk again?"

"Hey! I haven't had a drink in _months_ ," she said, clearly insulted.

"Gildarts does enough drinking for the both of ya," Gajeel sniped. "I found him buried under the snow this mornin'. Scared the iron from my soul."

Cana couldn't stifle the embarrassment as it illuminated her cheeks. "My old man has his issues, but at least he's here."

Natsu stared at their joined hands. "Go ahead," he said. "Read it." It came out unexpectedly bold, the words charged with a dare.

Everyone stared at him.

"Have you lost your mind?" Gray asked. "You're still recovering."

"Juvia is worried about you too."

Natsu shrugged. "She won't see anything."

Cana rose to the challenge. She held perfectly still, the colour bleeding from her eyes. Natsu felt nothing. No tinge of magic, no pain, no fear. He simply sat and waited. Elfman and Lisanna joined the table silently, both leaning forward expectantly. Everyone seemed to expect a crackle of magic, a sudden surge of power. Nothing happened. After a long moment, Cana withdrew her hands, tears dripping from her eyes.

"What's going on?" Lisanna asked.

"That's never happened to me before," Cana grumbled, still not entirely lucid. "Did I mess up?"

"What is it?" Gray pressed. "Did you see something?"

"I saw the future," she said.

Natsu's skin prickled.

"We know _that_ ," Gajeel scoffed.

"What's wrong, Cana?" Juvia asked tentatively. "Does something hurt?"

Natsu stood so quickly he jostled his chair with a _screech_. "It doesn't matter."

"I know what you're going through," Elfman said. "When Mira and I lost Lisanna, we—"

Natsu smashed his fists on the table. "But she came back, Elfman! Lisanna is back! But Lucy is…" He sank into his seat. "She's gone."

Lisanna took his hand gently. "Don't be mad at big brother. He's just trying to help."

Natsu stared at the guild mark on his hand, a replacement for the one he'd stolen. Mirajane hadn't questioned him when he'd asked for it. Nobody ever fought his decisions now. When Lucy died, she'd taken Fairy Tail's spirit with her.

"Six months, Lisanna," he said.

Six agonising months.

"I was gone for much longer," she soothed. "Don't lose hope, Natsu. It's all we have left."

"So, are you gonna tell us about his future or what?" Gajeel said.

"It wasn't his future," Cana said. "It was Lucy's."

Natsu lowered his guard ever so slightly, that steel edge leaving his face. He allowed himself just the briefest moment of hope.

"What did you see?" he demanded.

"Ease up, Natsu," Gray snapped.

Erza joined them at the end of the table, having clearly overheard their conversation. She took a long sip from her glass and awaited the answer.

Happy hopped across the table and fell into Lisanna's waiting arms. "Lucy doesn't have a future," he said sadly.

"She does," Cana said. "I saw it with my own eyes."

"What did you see?" Erza asked.

"I saw her. She was wearing this big white dress. And her hair, it was so long, almost like time was going by much faster." Cana shook her head. "I think she was crossing a bridge."

Natsu bristled. "You didn't see her future," he said. "You saw her death."

"No!" Cana slammed her hands on the table. "It didn't feel that way. It felt like, like she was coming back to us."

"That's enough," Erza said, diffusing the tension. "We should discuss something else."

"Actually, I liked where this conversation was headed," a voice said.

They turned to find Sting crossing the guild hall with Yukino on his arm. She smiled when she saw Natsu, though it wasn't sympathetic like all the others. This was light. _Happy_. Nobody ever smiled like that in front of him these days.

"The guild master came himself," Erza said. "It's an honour."

Sting laughed at that. "I wanted to see my buddy Natsu."

Natsu might've risen to the occasion before, now he had no energy to fight or banter or laugh. He acknowledged their guests with a nod and turned back to the table, Lisanna fussing Happy beside him.

"Did you accompany Sting for his meeting with the master?" Erza asked Yukino.

She shook her head and smiled. "Actually, I'm here to see Natsu."

"Why me?"

"I wanted to talk to you about Lucy."

Natsu turned to face her. "She's dead. There's nothing to talk about."

He didn't know when he'd started admitting it, but something in Natsu had broken after his relapse. He'd found himself saying it more and more, talking about her death, making it real in his mind. He needed closure. He _wanted_ to move forward, to carry on for Lucy's sake. But something always held him back.

"Actually…" Yukino hesitated a moment, a ghost phasing between hope and disbelief. A small smile lit up her face as she twirled a key between two fingers. "I have reason to believe she's still alive."

Everyone stood at once.

"I knew it!" Cana yelled.

Natsu didn't want to believe it. Couldn't. "What do you mean?"

Juvia threw herself at Gray, squealing with such delight it made Yukino's words turn real. Natsu could almost see Lucy standing in front of them. Alive.

Erza resumed her role as the rational friend. "But how do you know this?"

Yukino held up the key in her hands. "Libra."

The group shared a long, confusing look.

"Something is amiss in the spirit realm," Yukino said.

"In the spirit realm?" Gajeel rubbed his face. "I'm too tired for this."

"It's possible that Lucy is there."

"But I thought humans couldn't enter the Celestial Spirit World," Juvia said.

"There are special circumstances that alter this," Yukino said.

"That's right. We were invited once," Erza said.

"I wasn't able to learn much," Yukino went on, "but I've come to believe that Lucy's body was taken there when she died. From what I've heard, Lucy's spirits broke the rules by taking her back there, and it has caused quite the commotion. Many keyholders are unable to conjure their spirits because of this. Myself included. As of yesterday, I can't open Libra's gate at all."

Natsu's arms went limp at his sides. "She's..." He thought about all those nights he'd begged Loke to appear. He remembered Lucy's body shattering and disappearing.

"I also have a message for you. Minerva couldn't bring herself to face you, Natsu. She wanted me to apologise on her behalf. She thinks she gave Lucy the idea to expend all of her magical power in order to kill the demon seed," Yukino said. "We believe her body remains alive in the spirit realm. Lucy's magic will replenish more quickly there. And if it does, there might be a chance for her to return."

"That makes sense." Erza nodded. "Under normal circumstances, a magician wouldn't be able to replenish their magic in time. But time moves differently in their world. It's possible she could really survive."

Sparks filled Natsu's belly for the first time in weeks. "I want to see her. I want to go there! Now!"

"You can't. Not even I have the power to do that," Yukino said.

Natsu's hope burned to anger. "I have to do something to help them! If it takes too long, Lucy will be..."

She'd forget everything, and then there'd be no getting her back. A soul couldn't return to the body it no longer remembered.

"We understand," Sting said, "but it's impossible. I'm sorry, Natsu. I know empty hopes aren't what you need right now."

"Nonsense. Any hope is better than none," Erza said.

No. Natsu didn't want hope. He wanted action! Damn it, he needed to see her! To do something!

He stormed out of the guild, voices trailing in his shadow.

Happy tumbled after him.

_What would you give?_

The words echoed, sharp like knives, cutting him where they hit. His answer was always the same. Always.

He would give anything.

He would do anything.

It didn't matter. Yukino's words didn't matter. As long as a piece of Lucy's soul remained trapped inside him, Lucy would never return. He couldn't free her. He couldn't see her. It was all over and it had taken him far too long to see it.

He reached Lucy's apartment and slammed the door open hard. Natsu snatched up Loke's key and begged, _pleaded_ , for someone to answer. Nobody did. That silence confused him, controlled him.

He couldn't move. He sank to his knees, shock and hope tangled in his chest. His stomach hurt. How could they do this? How could Loke keep her there and not say anything? Blame and rage and horror filled him completely. He lost himself again. Emotions returned to his numb heart.

"Natsu..." Happy edged closer.

"I'm sorry," he gasped, the pain coming in waves so fast they dragged him under. "I'm sorry, buddy."

Six months of anguish ensnared him.

Happy fell into his arms, and together they mourned not only her death, but the loss of their lives, the absence of normalcy and feeling. That chasm of emptiness seemed to open beneath his feet, and Natsu plummeted into the darkness, falling into the jowls of the monster he'd been running from all this time.

Grief.

* * *

Lucy didn't know how long she'd been walking. The bridge stretched on for miles, enveloped in eternal sunlight. All around her flowers bloomed on patches of land, golden petals floating across the rivers far below.

It was a glorious, beautiful day. For the most part.

There was something wrong with the sky. She'd only closed her eyes for a second, but now the world was changing. Hidden within the haze of sunlight, stars shone vibrantly with fond memories of night. All around her their presence hummed with voices she couldn't quite hear. Whispers of her name, desperate and lonely.

She didn't know where she'd gone while she rested, but she knew it wasn't here. She remembered talking to someone, but his voice was unfamiliar and sad. Lucy didn't want to remember it.

"How far will you go?" Future Lucy appeared before her, hooded face dark in the harsh sunlight. "You're stronger than this. Why are you giving up so quickly?"

Lucy couldn't explain the sudden feeling in her chest. It felt so familiar and cold, but it spilled through existence like water melting through cloth. She didn't have the strength to wring it out.

"We're going home." A small hand gripped Lucy's fingers. That's right, she'd been travelling with her childhood self. She'd promised Lucy that they'd be reunited with her parents if she crossed the bridge. "Don't get in our way."

Future Lucy took Lucy's right hand. "You're forgetting too much."

Lucy didn't like the way she stared at her bare hand, as though something should've been there in its place. Future Lucy traced a symbol onto Lucy's skin. Slow, purposeful. It was...

Familiar.

"Don't take another step. Please."

Lucy pulled her hand away. "I have to keep walking. If I keep walking, I might be able to see him again. I think he needs me."

That person with the sad voice.

"That's not how it works. Natsu isn't waiting for you at the end of the bridge, Lucy. If you keep going like this, you'll never see him again."

Lucy withdrew her hands and stepped away from the two apparitions. Odd sounds filled her head, soft pulses like hearts beating out of sync.

"Don't move," Future Lucy begged. "Every step on this bridge is a memory lost. A fragment of time you might never get back. Natsu is waiting for you, but only if you _remember_."

Lucy shoved past her. "I don't know who that is!"

Future Lucy caught her arm. "You do. Try to remember."

Lucy hesitated. There was something there, a fondness, a familiarity, but it was so fleeting she didn't care. Whatever it was, it couldn't have been that important.

"I need to continue. I want to find him."

"Then I have to stop you."

Future Lucy overpowered her quickly, and together they tumbled over the rails of the bridge, plummeting into the water far below. Lucy sank into the river's cold embrace.

_'Being stuck there, does it hurt?'_

She just wanted to see that person again.

Lucy washed up on the shore alone. A glittering beach so black and eerie it didn't belong in the Golden Plains. She hauled herself across the sand, choking out water and air. Warm arms lifted her off the ground, and an even warmer face greeted her.

"Mother?"

"Lucy Heartfilia." Layla did not smile. "My name is Ankhseram, and you have crossed into my domain."

Lucy took a cautious step back. Something about the name echoed familiarly, as though she should know it, should _fear_ it. Obscene power emanated from her mother's form, otherworldly, unlimited.

"I appear to you in a form you still remember," Ankhseram explained. "Do not be afraid. I don't mean you harm."

She didn't know why, but her body trembled violently, shaken as though gripped in great fists of ice. She couldn't move. His power was absolute, commanding, _deadly_. He was a God.

"Zeref," she remembered. "What happened to Zeref?"

"He and Mavis crossed the bridge long before you." Layla spread her arms. "Your compassion for others never ceases to amaze me. I have watched you for a very long time."

Somehow, Lucy felt lighter. Was this relief? She'd almost forgotten what that felt like.

"I have seen your value of life, Lucy Heartfilia. I have witnessed the depths of your heartache. You sacrificed Aquarius to protect someone else's light. You restored the balance Zeref destroyed when you took that abomination's place here. You are the living essence of magic itself."

Lucy's mind reached for the memories she'd misplaced. "What do you mean?"

"I am not merciless, Lucy. Your mother's sacrifice did not go unnoticed. I offered her a second chance, as only I can, but she refused. And now indebted to her, I offer that life to you in her stead."

Lucy gripped her face, pain sluicing along the edges of her mind like dark waters trying to wash something ashore. She was trying to remember something. Someone.

"Your spirit friends work hard to rouse you. They would break their own laws to see you alive and well. Do you understand, Miss Heartfilia? The lives you have touched. They each beckon me, willing to give everything to save you. Never before have I witnessed such love and despair for one soul."

Lucy shook her head, confused, afraid. "No. I don't understand!"

"Continue across the bridge, Lucy. Should you retain but one memory of your past life, I will grant you your wish." Layla deigned to smile. "If only you're able to remember it."

Her wish?

When she appeared on the bridge again, Lucy saw no sunlight. Only darkness. Constellations of stars sparkled on their inky canvas. She walked alone, every step purposeful, bold. The longer she walked, the more she forgot _why_ she was walking, and where she was trying to go.

She played idly with the ring on her finger, something about it a comfort. Stone glistened under her bare feet, the silks of her white dress dragging heavy across the bridge. Each step became more of a burden, until she found herself no longer walking at all. She stared down into the once calm rivers, their waters raging, a reflection of her face plunged into their dark depths. The bridge trembled.

Lucy caught the rail and gasped. The ring slipped off her finger and fell into the waters below, swallowed in the rushing darkness. An odd wave of nausea filled her. Tears trickled down her cheeks, but Lucy continued onward, pieces of herself crumbling with every step. The red threads on her dress fell loose from their seams, forgotten in trails behind her.

 _Lucy_ , the stars sang. _Please wake up_.

The words assailed her, strong winds pushing against her back. Her steps involuntarily quickened.

 _It's not working_ , another star whispered.

 _We have to keep trying_.

_We don't have much longer. The Spirit King..._

_He gave us permission._

_He gave us three days, Aquarius! We've lost two already._

Lucy stopped at the end of the bridge, stared into the open fields stretched out before her. What was it? Why was her heart racing so much? The wind howled, urging her to take that last step.

 _You brat._ Lucy flinched at the voice. _How dare you sleep so peacefully while we do all the work?_

She gripped the rails for support. Something hung from the rail beneath her left hand. She retrieved the tattered scarf and stared at the bloody material. Lucy's heart continued its dangerous pounding. She reached for the repaired chain around her neck, the lock warming beneath her fingers. Light bloomed.

_'I want to live.'_

She stepped off the bridge into a white chamber. The scarf disappeared in her hands, leaving only the distant feeling of emptiness. Somebody screamed, angry, frustrated, lost.

Something clinked and rolled across the floor, landing with a clatter by her feet. It was her ring. She slid it home on her ring finger, surprised at its warmth. Had somebody thrown it?

Veins of darkness trespassed like black vines growing along the far wall. She passed into the shadows, light pooling by her feet, illuminating everything the shadows touched. And with that light came sudden clarity.

Natsu waited in the darkness, trapped in a spiral of anguish. The haze of sorrow spun around him like a cocoon. She passed through the cold grief and cupped his face in her right hand, fingers drifting into his hair.

"You look well, Natsu," she lied, hoping to soothe him.

He squeezed her left hand, unable to break the shackles of his grief. The way he looked into her eyes made Lucy's heart ache.

"Lucy..."

His gaze flickered to the chain on her neck. She sensed regret as pulled the matching key from his pocket, a deep lapis where once it had been pure white crystal.

"You kept it," she said.

"I miss you," he said, his eyes wet with tears.

Her gaze danced over the bloody scarf around his neck.

So this was a dream. His dream.

"Do you remember our promise, Natsu? That you would live, no matter what." She caressed his cheek. "Live, Natsu. Live a long, human life. You have things to do now. Our friends need you. They love you."

 _You're here,_ a voice whispered. Something called to her.

"You mustn't sleep and mope all day," she said, unraveling the scarf from his neck. She smoothed the blood until it vanished.

"But this is the only place I can see you."

Suddenly Lucy remembered. She remembered walking across the bridge and finding herself here sometimes, encouraging him, comforting him. She never remembered their visits when she returned to the Plains. Couldn't even remember his name. But somehow, Lucy's soul kept finding its way back to him.

 _I'm right here_ , the voice urged.

"This will be the last time, Natsu."

He visibly paled. "What?"

"I won't visit you again. So please, promise me. Promise me that you'll live a good life."

No matter what. No matter where the bridge had taken her. That was Lucy's truest wish—that he would be happy. She wanted that more than her own life.

"I can't," he said.

"Just try. For me."

"Why did you do it, Lucy?" His voice cracked. "Why did you die?"

_I'm coming._

She cupped his face and kissed him, his skin unbearably hot. "Because I love you," she said.

He shook her hard. "Friends don't die for each other, Lucy!"

Lucy saw herself in Natsu's darkness. The fragment of her soul she'd left behind. Forgotten, until now. That Lucy raced across the empty chamber.

"But we're not friends," she said. "And I would die for you a thousand times over."

Darkness tore her from his arms. Lucy drifted through it slowly, sinking and floating helplessly. A soft twinkling of light fluttered into the shadows. She reached for the fragment, barely catching it in her left hand. The lock on her chest began to glow, arrays of colour blossoming through the darkness.

She felt suddenly whole.

When the darkness cleared, Lucy realised she was still falling after Future Lucy pushed her. She plummeted into the cold depths of the waters below and woke to someone pulling her from the Magnolia canal.

"Not my grandest entrance," Aquarius said.

Lucy spluttered water and shivered. The folds of her white dress clung heavily to her drenched skin. Aquarius helped her onto the bank, where remnants of snowfall sprinkled the ground a dusty white.

"Aquarius?" Lucy couldn't catch her breath. Her body felt so heavy, so foreign. Her heart pounded.

"Small breaths, Lucy. You're all right."

"What's going on?"

"You've caused a lot of trouble. But don't worry, the worst is over now. Let the adults deal with the consequences."

Lucy didn't understand. She felt so faint, so strange.

"You're leaving," she realised.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't go," she begged.

"You should go home. He's waiting for you."

Lucy threw her arms around Aquarius's neck, squeezing hard. "I feel like I should be thanking you."

"Of course you should. I just saved your life. But enough of that, there's something I need to tell you."

Lucy didn't like the tone in her voice. "What is it?"

"You won't be able to see us for a while," she confessed. "Your power is too weak, and we..."

Lucy became vaguely aware of the strange magic in her body. Cleansed like water cleared of pollution. It was new. And weak.

"Natsu," Lucy realised. "What happened to Natsu?!"

"You did it. You selfish brat, you used up every bit of magic to save him and now you don't remember?"

Lucy balked. She didn't dare speak another word for fear of being berated. She simply clung to Aquarius, seeking warmth in the brisk air.

"When I saw you dead, I couldn't take it. I broke the rules, Lucy. We all did. We fought to keep you in our world until your magic replenished, suspended you between life and death. Do you understand? You won't be able to summon us again. At least not for a while."

Tears dripped onto Lucy's face. "How long until..."

"We don't know. It's our punishment for disobeying the rules and bringing you into our world," Aquarius said. "You're lucky your contracts are still intact. But don't worry, Lucy. Because it's you, I'm sure the others will be pardoned soon. Until they are, they won't hear you calling. Do you understand? They don't have permission to pass through the gates right now."

"Why would you risk something so dangerous?"

Aquarius quirked a brow, and Lucy saw the unspoken words in that gesture: _because we love you._ But what she actually said was "It could have been a lot worse, had it been only a few of us. But everyone stood together. All of us. Libra and Pisces, too. Your reputation precedes you in our world. Nobody wanted to see you die."

"What about you?"

"Given the special circumstances, I will be returning to Alina." Aquarius caressed Lucy's cheek. "Be good, you idiot. Stop dwelling on the past. Wherever you go, I'll always be with you."

"I don't want to say goodbye."

"Lucy, do you remember what you used to say to me at the manor? You would always ask me why I was in a bad mood, and no matter what I said, you always gave me the same answer."

To Lucy's shame, she didn't remember.

"'Aquarius, do you know what comes after the rain?'"

Lucy expelled a sudden breath. "Joy."

When Aquarius vanished, Lucy felt a small piece of her die, but that piece wasn't enough to kill her. She wobbled to her feet, shivering violently in the cold, and walked barefoot to her apartment. Her feet hurt, _hurt_. She could feel everything again. Emotions and pains and cold. Alive.

She was alive.

 _'He's waiting for you_.'

Lucy hesitated. She almost knocked on the door, but Natsu's voice stopped her. She heard him screaming inside, heard him crying. Lucy couldn't bring herself to move.

She'd done this to him. It was all her fault.

No. She had to be strong. Otherwise, Aquarius's sacrifice would be for nothing. Lucy swung the door open. Natsu and Happy turned to face her, their faces flushed with tears. Plue wrestled in Natsu's arms and vanished with a goodbye wave.

She surveyed the mess all around them, Lucy's things thrown around, her desk on its side. This was the aftermath of a demon's tantrum. Neither one blinked for the longest time.

"Hey!" she yelled. "You jerks better clean this up!"

Those words spun like keys opening thousands of locks. Both rushed into her embrace, their obvious disbelief melted by Lucy's clammy, trembling arms. She wasn't strong enough to catch them, so they tumbled to the ground outside, her body crushed to the cold pavement.

"Welcome home, Lucy!"

Lucy dissolved into tears. "I'm home."


	22. Once and Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry about the late update. I've been swamped with work and then some personal things came up that couldn't be avoided. This is the last full length chapter of JE. I had originally planned to extend it a little bit longer, but it just seemed fitting to end it here. There is an epilogue afterwards, though, so do read that before you close out of the story for good. Maybe I'll come back and edit the full tale sometime in the future.

In a world where time never stops, grief slips in like a shadow, always present no matter how far you try to run. Every shadow takes a different shape. For some people, the darkness is inescapable; for others, a demon meant to be conquered.. Learning to cope with loss is a natural process in life. But nobody ever tells you what to do in the event of your own death. 

For Lucy, time no longer moved in hasty, linear strokes. Days didn’t simply blur to weeks as they used to. She saw everything in slow motion. Seconds dragged on like tides lapping at the shores of reality, destined to recede and expose the murky depths of her own demise all over again. No matter how much she tried to move forward, something always pulled her back.

And now she was here clawing at the wet sand beneath the ocean, trying desperately to fight her way onto the shore. 

When Lucy died, she’d lost more than just a life, more than just a few memories. She’d lost herself. And in the darkness now, somewhere, the light of a past she’d once known grew ever dimmer, until its warmth left her stranded in unfamiliar territory. She’d never known despair like this.

Here she was, alive, surrounded by loved ones, but Lucy couldn’t bring herself to _enjoy it_. To be happy. It was as though fate dangled her from the edge of a haggard cliff, and no matter how many hands were offered to her, no matter how many people tried to rescue her, all she wanted was to let go. 

Lucy’s shadow was so enormous it encompassed everything in its path. She was terrified of what it might do to Natsu. To everyone she cared about. How long would she disguise herself in smiles before somebody finally took a peek beneath the costume? Maybe that’s what she really wanted. To be seen. 

No matter how she looked at it, Lucy didn’t feel _right_ grieving. This was a celebratory occasion. She _should_ have been elated! Overjoyed to take new breaths of life. She was...

Lucky.

“What’re you reading?” 

Lucy hesitated at the sound of Gray’s voice. Her fingers danced over the page of her book. A mirage of emotions passed through her, ghosts of feelings so empty they might as well not exist. But the ache in Lucy’s heart was _very_ real. 

For reasons Lucy couldn’t recall, seeing him brought tremendous waves of indescribable pain. She didn’t know why, nor would he explain, but Lucy felt she owed him apology after apology. That feeling replicated in Juvia’s presence, but not quite as sinister, and never quite so distracting. She couldn’t help but feel like she’d _wronged_ them. 

“It’s rare to find you alone these days,” he said, trying to push the conversation. She appreciated the effort, really, but even small talk left Lucy weary. She couldn’t help but feel like everyone treated her differently now. 

"I’m waiting for Levy,” she said, marking the place in her book and closing it. “Erza stole Natsu for the day, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

For the past ten weeks, Natsu wouldn’t let go of her hand. He followed her everywhere. It was almost suffocating. Having sensed Lucy’s growing discomfort, Erza had formed a plan to _steal_ Natsu for a while. It had worked. But only after an hour of protesting. 

Undergoing regular checkups, Lucy spent most of her morning being probed and tested. Physically, Wendy sensed no changes in Lucy’s body. She’d suffered no permanent harm, save a few scars here and there, the most prominent being the burn on her hand. After seeing Natsu’s new guild mark, Lucy decided to honour him with a new one of her own—on the right shoulder, just like his used to be. Though the gesture seemed useless right now.

What good was a guild mark to a mage devoid of magic? She wasn’t a Fairy Tail wizard anymore. Not really. 

Fragments of power returned to Lucy day by day, so small they barely existed at all. At this rate, it would take _years_ to recover. To return to the life she’d always known. She couldn’t help but feel like she was still stranded somewhere in the Plains.

Despite her best efforts, she couldn’t call any of her spirits. Not even Plue. While guild mates trained for the upcoming S-Class exam, Lucy watched from the sidelines, accompanied by self-pity. Nobody could say for sure when her power would return, or if it ever would. Some days were easier than others. She’d told herself it didn’t matter. She had her writing to turn to, her friends, _Natsu_. Magic didn’t complete her.

And yet...

Gray sat beside her, his warmth a remarkable contrast to his exquisite magic. He drummed his fingers on the table, his discerning gaze sweeping across the guild. Some things never changed. He always took things way too seriously. Even now, Gray couldn’t relinquish his guard. 

None of them could.

Every day, every second, Fairy Tail worried that Lucy would disappear again. And why wouldn’t they? Lucy had lost count of how many times someone had knocked on her apartment door, claiming to be passing by. She couldn’t blame them. Even Lucy had her doubts, often wondering if maybe none of this was real and she’d wake up alone in the Golden Plains once more. 

Lucy fidgeted with the ring on her finger, twirling it until the pattern disappeared. She remembered in pale flashes having misplaced it in the Plains. Natsu had said this ring connected them. He’d been so excited when she’d accepted it again, having recovered it from her apartment mere moments before their reunion. And though his words rang true in her heart, Lucy couldn’t bear to tell him the truth—that she didn’t really know what she’d accepted.

“What’s wrong?” Gray asked her. “It doesn’t fit?” 

Lucy glanced up from the ring. “Natsu gave this to me,” she said, trying to distinguish which memories were new and which belonged to the past. “The day I woke up in the canal. He'd been so happy to return it.”

“But you don’t remember what it symbolises,” Gray realised.

Lucy smiled wistfully. “No. I didn’t have the heart to ask him. Whatever it is, it represented something important between us. More than he’s letting on. I feel like we made a promise. I just...” She almost lost it—that thread of courage she’d been holding onto for so long. 

“It’s not your fault, Lucy.”

That didn’t make it hurt any less. “How could I forget something that made him so happy?”

“Your memories will return. Just give it time. Porlyusica said your amnesia is just a side effect and shouldn’t be permanent. So what if you can’t remember the little details? Your feelings remain. That’s what counts.”

Lucy nodded. “You’re right.” 

Despite not remembering every detail of obtaining the ring, she knew it represented a promise between them, and that he’d won it for her at some point in their journey. Being so irrevocably in love with him, she didn’t need to question those feelings.

“What about physically? How are you feeling?” he asked. 

Lucy’s hand moved instinctively to her neck, forgetting the abandoned chain and what it used to represent. She’d locked Aquarius’s key away with the others; a bold step towards a future without regrets. 

“Some days are easier than others,” she confessed. “Ever since I returned, I feel so lost. Like I’m wandering the darkest woods, destined to never see the sky again. I miss it. Being a member of this guild.”

“You will _always_ be a member of this guild.” 

“You know what I mean.” 

Juvia called him from across the room, armed with drinks and a huge basket of food. Ever since Lucy returned, Gray and Juvia made frequent trips to eat lunch with Gray’s parents. It was a new tradition, she’d said. They would sit at their graves and talk for hours. Hearing about it left Lucy wondering if Natsu would have visited her grave, had they bothered to erect one, and what he would say when he did. 

Gray nudged her shoulder as he departed. “Keep your head up. You got this.” 

She’d barely expelled a breath when a familiar chill danced up Lucy’s spine. She didn’t see Levy’s approach until it was too late. Small arms draped around her neck, clinging hard. The chills burst to warning blizzards birthed from long nights defending herself from E.N.D.’s power. Lucy froze. Instinct almost took over. 

_Breathe._

Lucy closed her eyes and reminded herself that she was safe, that the fight with E.N.D. was over, and squeezed Levy’s hands. Reality sank in. Slowly, she turned to face her friend. 

"You’re late,” she said. 

Levy wasn’t alone. She fussed over a double stroller, her back temporarily to Lucy. No matter how long she stared, Lucy couldn’t put the puzzle together, as though she still had all the pieces but no box to reference. None of this made sense.

And yet it did.

Tears dripped onto Lucy’s cheeks. “You have babies.” 

Levy blanched. "What’s wrong?” 

“You have babies,” she said again. Some of the pieces clicked into place, barely forming parts of a picture. “Of course you do! I knew that! You have _twins_.” 

Lucy’s head throbbed. Even though her heart _knew_ something was wrong, Lucy just couldn’t remember. So many memories scattered like petals across the Golden Plains, lost forever.

“Don’t be upset. It’s okay,” Levy insisted.

Lucy wanted to curl up and cry right there on the guild floor. She felt so rotten on the inside, like a piece of her was still dead. Maybe it was.

She leaned over the sleeping twins, now a whole year older than when she’d left them. “I can’t believe I forgot them. Levy, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, Lu.” 

“I forgot that you’re a mother, Levy. What else did I forget? It scares me.”

“Well, that’s the thing about memories, Lucy.” Levy drew her into an embrace. “You can always make new ones.”

Oh, how she’d missed Levy’s sweet, rational voice. “I want to make even more memories with you, Levy.”

Levy grinned. “Then let’s start right now. A morning stroll will help unclog that brain of yours.”

And it did help. If only a little. They walked until late noon, taking turns pushing the stroller as they reminisced over the past. Good memories, bad memories, one by the one they pieced Lucy’s life back together again. It helped, if only a little. The memories seemed so foreign to her, like someone else had lived them.

They traversed the length of the canal leading to Lucy’s home, calm water sparkling under the low sun. Spring was coming sooner than they’d expected. Patches of frost gave way to stubborn flowers, lending a splash of colour to Lucy’s bleak hope of reclaiming her lost memories. 

“Natsu took it really hard, you know,” Levy said, easing the stroller to a stop. 

They sat together on the canal wall in a moment of silence. Lucy tapped the heel of her boot rhythmically against the stone, not wanting to relive the horror of Natsu’s grief. She’d heard so many stories, felt it in the way his arms found her waist during the night. She sometimes woke to hear him crying in his sleep. 

“I know. While I was in the Plains, I think I used to visit him. I have these dreams sometimes. They’re so _real_ , Levy. In these dreams, I can see him there. He just sits and cries, begging me to come home. It’s not Natsu. I’ve never seen him give up like that.” Lucy spread her hands. “I wish I could take that pain away.” 

“That’s because it wasn’t him. Not really. When you disappeared, you took away a piece of Natsu. When you trapped E.N.D.’s power for good, it changed Natsu. He became violent and distant and strange. But with a little love, he started to recover. And so can you.” Levy paused for a long moment. “Lucy, we were all affected by your...” 

She didn’t say it, but the word hung thick and gloomy in the air: _death_.

“It’s okay. You can say it.”

“No.” Levy shook her head. “I can’t. When you were gone, not even then. None of us could bring ourselves to admit it.”

“I was dead,” Lucy said pointedly. “That’s all there is to it.” 

Levy frowned. “You’re here now. That’s what matters.” 

“Can I ask you something personal?”

“Of course. What is it?”

“Does it ever come back? That _fear_.” Lucy swallowed, not entirely sure she should say it. “From back then, when Gajeel, _you know_.”

“When he humiliated me?” Levy shrugged. “I used to be so afraid of him. I refuse to feel guilty for that. Back then, I didn’t know who he really was. He’s a good person who was led astray by the wrong people. Being afraid of the past is useless. If I’d held onto those feelings, if I’d judged him based on that single act, I wouldn’t have these beautiful babies right now. Of course _that_ Gajeel scared me. But I don’t want to insult the man he became by holding onto those feelings. People change, they grow and they strive to be better. Of course those memories are painful. But what matters is that he lives everyday making up for them.” 

“I remember every gruesome detail of my fight with E.N.D.,” Lucy confessed. It was the first time she’d said it aloud. “It makes me so angry. Of all the memories, why them? Why do I remember the bad ones instead of the good? How come I remember the pain of broken bones but not your children, Levy?” 

“Healing takes time, Lucy. The deepest wounds always leave scars. But that doesn’t mean we're defined by them. There’s no need to rush. You and Natsu went through a serious trauma. You owe it to yourself to be honest with him, and with yourself. It’s okay to be afraid. Sometimes band-aiding the wound isn’t enough. You have to treat it tenderly and nurse it overtime, even if it hurts. Even if that means reopening it from time to time."

Lucy threw herself at Levy, almost tipping them over the wall. She squeezed hard. “You always know what to say!”

“Of course! I’m a mother now!” After recovering balance, Levy took Lucy’s hands earnestly, flecks of mischief lighting up her dark eyes. “What about you and Natsu, hmm?”

“What about us?” 

“Do you ever think about starting a family?” 

A familiar warmth bloomed and wilted in Lucy’s chest, leaving a strange cool bitterness in its place. Thinking about a family would have been cruel back then, knowing she might not survive their final encounter. But what about now? Lucy might not remember everything about their journey, but she _did_ remember how much she loved him. She remembered their first night together. She remembered their first kiss. 

“We are a family,” she said. “Natsu and Happy, they make me whole. Maybe someday we’ll grow a little. But not yet. There are so many things I want to do first, if I’m able to.” 

_‘Let’s have a baby, Lucy.’_

Lucy’s heartbeat quickened. Broken threads weaved together again in her mind, tangling in knots she couldn’t yet unravel. But that they formed at all gave her a little hope. Pressure gathered in her forehead, so hot she barely kept the pain from showing in her face. 

“I wasn’t expecting such an honest answer. Ever since you got back, you never talk about the future. It’s like you keep expecting to disappear again. But you’re here, Lucy. You’re alive. Magic or not, memories or not, you’ll always be the Lucy we love. Having you back home means more than you could ever know.”

“Stop it, Levy. I’ll cry again.”

“Oh, please. Haven’t you run out of tears yet?”

Lucy burst into laughter. “Thanks. I really needed this.”

“Thank _you_. With Gajeel busy preparing for the exam it’s nice to have someone to talk to.”

Someone who _isn’t_ taking part, she meant. Until the twins were a little older, Levy had all but shelved guild responsibilities and goals. She’d be S-Class someday, she’d promised. But not yet. She wanted to focus on being a mother first. And that in itself was a new dream. 

The quiet wrapped itself around them, a warm comfort on an otherwise brisk day. Lucy listened to the gentle rippling of water and the trill of winds clashing over the canal behind them. 

“We should keep walking,” she said, shooting a not-so-discreet glance at her nearby apartment. She wasn’t ready to go home yet. 

“You’ve stalling.” Levy held up a finger and beamed, as though the entirety of Earth Land’s wisdom lived within her small fingertip. “Are you worried that Natsu will be there?”

Lucy dragged her bottom lip through her teeth, trying and failing to summon a retort. She sighed in defeat and combed her fingers through her hair, which had grown significantly longer during her time in the Celestial Spirit World. 

“I don’t want him to see me like this,” she said. 

“Natsu loves you, Lucy. _All_ of you.” 

But she couldn’t show him her weakness. Not like this. Not after he’d lived so long without her, thinking she was gone forever. She didn’t want him to question her feelings. To wonder if she feared or loathed him. It was only natural that he worried about those things—after all, some of them were true.

He’d made peace with his demonic counterpart. He’d accepted it.

So why couldn’t she?

“By the way.” Levy clapped her hands with a resounding _smack_. “I looked into what you said about the Wise Mages. I was intrigued, I guess. Once I started digging I just couldn’t stop.”

Lucy’s interest piqued as suddenly as winter’s breath rippled across the canal. She drew her coat tight around herself and offered an expectant look, _Well?_

“It turns out you were right. The brothers died in Crocus a long time ago. Their bodies became stone but was shattered years ago. That stone was used to repair the arena after the dragons attacked us. They didn’t find out until just recently. Since then, people have reported seeing all kinds of strange things at the arena. It’s possible that their magic caused you to see and hear things that weren’t really there. But it’s also possible that they really did visit you. And if that’s true, then you’re incredibly lucky, Lucy.”

“What makes you say that?”

One of the twins stirred, a soft cry that evolved into full-blown wailing. Levy scooped Shutora into her arms and rocked her gently. A calming sensation filled Lucy from within, soft waves of warmth that caressed beneath her skin, quelling her dark thoughts. 

“According to the books Makarov _thinks_ are hidden in the library, a visit from all three of the Wise Mages means a change in destiny. I think you were the light meant to guide them into the next life. They wanted you to live. As cruel as it might seem, maybe you were fated to cheat death. Maybe this is exactly where you’re supposed to be now. I know it sucks. I know you’re scared. But there’s a reason you were given this chance.” 

Levy was right. The Gods themselves had brought Lucy back here. She couldn’t spend every day wasting such a precious gift. 

“I think it’s time for me to go,” Lucy said. “Thank you.”

Levy smiled. “For what?”

“For giving me the courage to move forward.” 

* * *

When Lucy reached the apartment, Natsu didn’t greet her. She didn’t spy Happy among the mess of food and pillows either. Something was oddly amiss. Papers littered Lucy’s desk, accompanied by a single envelope. Lucy’s heart shriveled at the sight of that crest. It was Natsu’s seal.

Beside the envelope, Lucy’s letter sat unfurled on the table. She’d forgotten all about it. About all the attempts she’d made at delivering it—at telling him about her true feelings. The feelings she’d suppressed for so long. Embarrassment crept under his skin. She’d never meant for him to read it. 

Her gaze ticked to the envelope once again, wondering what kind of words awaited her on the other side of that thin paper. Hairline fractures scratched at Lucy’s resolve, threatening to crumble it. She remembered finding his letter all those years ago. She remembered the heartache it caused. And then, with a steadying breath, she reminded herself of their reconciliation, of his apology, of their loving exchange in Crocus. This wound could not reopen. They’d healed it shut long ago. Maybe that’s why she remembered it so clearly despite forgetting almost everything else. 

With even greater resolve, Lucy opened the letter and began to read. 

_Lucy Heartfilia,_

She smiled. His handwriting was almost legible this time.

_I’m sorry I took so long to reply to your letter. I’m not the best at putting my thoughts into words. And you didn’t really give me the chance, showing up so suddenly and all._

She laughed at that.

_The truth is, when you disappeared, I didn’t know what to do. I spent most of my life searching for Igneel, always chasing after the past. I knew you wouldn’t want that for me. But I couldn’t let go. I was angry with myself. I was a coward._

_Meeting you was even better than all the adventures and treasure and food I could ever have. I didn’t want to go on any new adventures without you._

_I know my last letter made you cry, so I’m hoping this one will make up for that. I’m done living with regrets. I won’t run away this time._

_Come find me._

_Natsu._

_(I love you too, Lucy! Aye!)_

Lucy didn’t even need to ask where he might be. She knew it deep within her heart. Letter in hand, she ran. Ran and ran and ran with only her feelings to guide her. 

When she appeared at his cottage in the woods, soft light flickered within the round window, illuminating the cool veil of shadows beneath the treetops. Lucy didn’t knock as she entered.

Natsu sat on one knee in the middle of a near-indiscernible mess, objects and parchments and clutter surrounding him. Lucy almost sighed. She couldn’t begin to count the hours she’d spent cleaning up in here. Why was he so messy? 

And yet, she couldn’t help but feel she was missing a _point_.

Happy knelt beside him, as serious as a soldier preparing for battle.

Lucy’s breath caught. “What’s going on?”

“It doesn’t matter if you don’t remember everything, Lucy,” Natsu said. “All of your memories are right here. Since you joined Fairy Tail, we’ve always been together.” 

Her gaze swept across Natsu’s home. This wasn’t clutter at all. Countless memories surrounded her, reuniting her with a warmth that had been missing since she returned. Her maid outfit hung once more on the mannequin at the back of the room. New portraits and flyers dangled from pins on the wall, colourful swatches of memories filling her all at once. Her mind swam with images of a past she’d thought lost forever. It didn’t matter that she couldn’t hold onto them right now. The sentiment was enough. Tears dripped onto her cheeks. 

“Six months ago, we made a promise,” he went on. 

_‘I’m going to find a better ring, Lucy.’_

“What is this, Natsu?” 

_‘Let’s become a real family.’  
_

Something deep within Lucy awakened. An ember kindled by the warmth of his smile. Natsu’s letter dropped out of her hand, fluttering to the ground as slowly as the time passing her by.

“Even if you don’t have those memories right now, I’ll spend forever making new ones with you, Lucy,” Natsu said. “You’ll never be lonely. I’ll never make you cry again.” 

“Too late for that one,” she sobbed.

“Let’s get married, Lucy,” he said seriously. 

For just a moment she thought she’d imagined it. His first proposal surfaced like a ghost, merging with the present. She didn’t know what to say. What to do. Her mind slunk deep into her body, out of sight. She couldn’t conjure a single thought.

Happy came forward, offering her a small white box. He opened it to reveal the most beautiful ring—shimmering diamonds set into a white gold band carved with different shaped stars. A rainbow of colours glistened in the stones. 

“Let’s become a real family,” Happy said. 

“Erza helped me choose,” Natsu confessed. “If you don’t like it, I can—”

“Stand up,” she said.

Time sped up again. Lucy’s heart throbbed, racing so quickly it might burst from her chest. Happy stared at her expectantly, as though he too awaited her answer.

Natsu stood woodenly, nervously. She’d never seen him so shaken. He didn’t step forward, simply awaiting her response instead. 

Lucy threw herself at him, almost losing the box as she embraced him tightly. He hoisted her off the ground, her legs swinging around him. She crushed her mouth against his.

“Is that a yes?” he asked when they parted. 

“Yes,” she said. 

Natsu’s eyes widened. “Yeah?”

“Yes!”

Happy leapt between them before Natsu could kiss her again, and together they laughed and cried with the relief of past burdens slowly melting away. 

They spent the rest of the day together, and when the guild heard of their good news, they celebrated long into the night. 

The next morning, Lucy woke to darkness in a cold sweat. Her hands sought Natsu in the bed, finding only rumpled sheets and an upside down Happy. Past memories thundered all around her, a single crack of lightning illuminating the dark room. The sun hadn’t even risen yet. 

Her gaze snapped from one wall to the next, finding nothing but empty despair in the brief light. Lucy’s breathing quickened, every heartbeat an echo of past fears rushing forward. 

No, no, no. It couldn’t be. It wasn’t possible. There’s no way E.N.D. was back, and that he’d taken over Natsu’s body again. 

_Get it together, Lucy! Don’t just assume the worst!_

And yet she couldn’t help it. Memories of E.N.D.’s power chilled Lucy to the bone. She leapt out of the bed and staggered, her legs prickling, her body too weak to move. She closed her eyes and drew in a calming breath. It was over. That journey had ended. 

“Lucy? Did the storm wake you?” 

She turned to see Happy untangling himself from the sheets. “It’s okay. Go back to sleep.” 

“Are you...” Happy hesitated. “Are you going to leave again?”

Lucy’s anxiety subsided, replaced by an urge to comfort her friend. She scooped him out of the bed and cradled him close. She’d been so wrapped up in her own grief, her own confusion, she hadn’t stopped to think about how much they _needed_ her right now. Maybe it seemed impossible to heal alone. But together...

“I’m not going anywhere,” she promised. 

A second snap of lightning lit up the rain-streaked window, revealing a silhouette just beyond it.

“He’s doing it again,” Happy mumbled. 

“What is it?”

Happy shook his head. “When you disappeared, Natsu started talking in his sleep. After a while, he started disappearing too.” 

So he was sleepwalking? 

"Stay here, okay? I’ll bring him inside.”

Happy nodded reluctantly as she set him on the bed. With only a brief moment of doubt, Lucy slid into her boots and rushed out into the heavy downpour. Rain drummed the street, creating walls so thick Lucy couldn’t see two steps in front. She sheltered her face beneath one arm and stopped walking only when the rain allowed her to reach him.

“Come back to bed,” she implored. 

Was he still asleep? No, something in his eyes told her that this wasn’t just sleepwalking. He’d left by _choice_. 

“Are you happy, Lucy?”

Lucy stared at the rings on her finger. “I’m going to marry the person I love. Why wouldn’t I be happy?” 

He took her hands gently. Lucy flinched at how cold they were, how distant. Unspoken feelings hung in the air, thick as the rain on their skin. Thunder rolled across Magnolia with a mighty crack. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. I’m sorry you suffered because of me. I’ve wanted to apologise since you got back, but I could never bring myself to do it. I didn’t want to ruin what we have now.”

Lucy couldn’t help but smile. “Natsu, I would do it all over again to save you.” 

He grimaced at that, but the sentiment seemed to touch home. He smiled warmly, rain dripping from dampened points of hair that clung to his wind-torn face. 

“We’ll get through this together, Lucy. Your magic, your memories, I won’t stop until we’ve found them all!”

“Is that why you came out here? You were feeling guilty?” 

Natsu’s expression hardened until he showed no emotion at all. He stared long into her eyes, as though the answers to her questions belonged in her mind, not his own. 

“The rain helps,” he said. 

“With what?” 

His expression said it all. Erza had said that E.N.D.’s presence could not be fully erased. Though Natsu was safe to live the life he’d always wanted, there would be instances, however small, when E.N.D.’s presence revealed itself again. Just like Minerva, Natsu would always have traces of demonic power inside him. But that was nothing compared to the monster he could have been.

That he _had_ been. 

“Are you scared, Lucy?” he asked her.

Lucy found herself smiling in spite herself. “No. Not at all.” 

Natsu’s smile widened to show teeth. His body sagged with relief, as though weeks—months—of anguish suddenly rolled off his shoulders with the rain. He stumbled against her, his arms enveloping her tightly. 

“I missed you,” he breathed. 

Lucy combed her fingers through his hair. “I missed you too. Now come inside, I have something to show you.”

After toweling themselves dry and reassuring Happy that Natsu was okay, Lucy told them both to sit on the bed and wait. She retrieved a package from a drawer in her desk and turned to face the eagerly awaiting duo. 

“I’ve been waiting for the right moment to give this to you,” she said. “I think now is the perfect time.” 

Natsu took the package quizzically, wasting no time tearing into the smoothly wrapped paper to expose the freshly repaired scarf within. He held it high in the dark room, tails dangling on either side of his face. 

“I asked Anna to repair it,” she said. 

“Lucy...” 

“I thought, maybe, it’d help you feel better.”

Setting the scarf aside, Natsu pulled Lucy onto his lap and kissed her. Cobwebs of doubt fell away from Lucy’s heart, freeing her mind to wander happier thoughts. 

“You liiikkeee her,” Happy teased.

Natsu shot him a playful glance. “You like her too.”

Happy rubbed his head and beamed. “Aye!”

Lucy couldn’t help but laugh. “I love you too. Both of you.” 

Once and forever. 

* * *

Six months later, they were married in the guild, surrounded by friends and guildmates. And as the reception commenced and the drinking began, Lucy found herself sneaking away for a moment of quiet. She gazed into that same canal, waving to the same boats, staring into the same clear waters. Everything was as it should be.

Almost. 

Lucy laced her fingers together behind her back and inhaled the sweet summer air. Natsu had told her to meet him after the ceremony, but that was a long time ago. She was beginning to wonder if he’d forgotten. Maybe Erza had finally convinced him to take part in one of those silly wedding games she liked so much. 

_‘Meet me near your apartment,’_ he’d said. _‘I want to give you my wedding gift.’_

No. He’d come. She had faith. 

Lucy lifted the skirts of her gown as she crossed the bridge, white silks dripping all around her in ribbons and delicate lace. Erza and Mirajane had styled her long hair with the most beautiful flowers and beads, each one woven into small braids on either side of her face. The rest of her hair fell long and thick now, waves swaying in the light breeze. She spotted her new husband across the bridge. He hesitated when he saw her, a mixture of surprise and elation on his face. 

He looked like he’d just seen the reality of a vision come true. 

A familiar face appeared beside him. Clad in a celestial suit, Loke greeted Lucy with the smallest of waves. Lucy’s heart fluttered almost as much as it did while exchanging her vows. She raced across the bridge, heels unsteady, long hair whipping all around her as she ran. 

Loke hoisted her into the air when she reached him, twirling her around at an almost dizzying pace. 

“Congratulations, Mrs Dragneel,” he teased. “Or is that Heartfilia-Dragneel?” 

“Loke!” Lucy barely contained her tears. “You came!”

“Of course. Isn’t it about time we renewed our contract?”

Lucy fanned her cheek. “Stop it. I can’t cry, it’ll ruin my makeup.” Her gaze slid to Natsu. “But how?”

“Your magic is returning, Lucy,” Natsu said. “I could smell it on you. You’ve been too distracted to notice.” 

Too afraid. Lucy had lost all hope and invested all of her time in the wedding, using it more as a distraction than anything. She’d been too afraid to try and summon her spirits after failing so many times. 

“You’ll see the others again soon. The more your magic returns, one bye one, the Spirit King will allow us to return to you.” Loke offered a playful wink. “But for now, you’ll have to settle for my company.”

The celebrations lasted well into the night, and by the time they’d returned to Lucy’s apartment, Natsu was so drunk he couldn’t remember whether he was the husband or the wife, but not so drunk that he couldn’t consummate the marriage. With Happy distracted by a mischievous Charle (Lucy would have to thank her tomorrow), they stumbled through the darkness, reaching the bed in a clumsy mess of stubborn buttons and tightly knotted lace. 

_‘Let’s go on a real date.’_

Natsu kissed her feverishly, as though the world might disappear if he didn’t take this moment to taste every inch of her skin. But before things could get too heated, Lucy stopped him, her hands firm as they sought out his shoulders.

“What is it?” he whispered.

“I need to say something. Before I forget.”

Natsu’s eyes retained so much heat it was as though his soul continued to kiss her long after his lips abandoned her skin. Lucy gasped uneven breaths as he shifted above her, painfully aware of how close he was. It took all her strength to choose words over actions. Her hands moved across his naked chest, feeling their way over his beating heart. 

“Tomorrow, before we leave on our honeymoon,” she said.

“What about it?”

“I think it’s time we finally went on that date.” 


	23. Epilogue: A Future Saved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:This is it! The story is finally completed. I may drop a few post-story bonus chapters if I find the time.

Natsu never thought he could love anything more than he loved Lucy. Until the day she'd told him she was with-child. The mere mention of a baby had changed Natsu's whole world. He'd loved his daughter long before she'd developed arms and legs, before he'd even _known_ she would be his little girl.

And now he crashed through the apartment door like a man possessed, stopped only by the sight of his wife sitting in the bed, an animated bundle in her arms. Time spun in on itself as the future he'd been promised came to life before his very own eyes.

The sight rendered him speechless, immobile, _breathless_. He stood rigid in the doorway, barely aware of the rapid footsteps approaching behind him. Hands and legs tangled with him as everyone crammed into the doorway, collapsing in a heap of excitement and shock in the entryway.

Lucy glanced up at the commotion, a small smile gracing her flushed cheeks. "I appreciate the concern, guys, but was it necessary for _all_ of you to be here?"

"We came as soon as we heard," Erza panted, the first to stand among the rest of their group.

Team Natsu—minus a heavily pregnant Lucy—had departed just that morning to finish up the remainder of a week-long job in Oak Town. News of Lucy's early labour had reached them quickly. But not fast enough.

"You're late," Happy scolded, having never left Lucy's side since hearing the news of her pregnancy. Natsu was glad.

"I'm so sorry, Lucy," Natsu managed, still winded from the run.

Porlyusica stepped away from Lucy's bedside to make room for the rest of the group. Natsu couldn't bring himself to stand.

Come to think of it, they hadn't considered Lucy's privacy when they'd all barged into the room at the same time, desperate to catch a glimpse of the newborn baby in her arms.

"We'll leave you guys alone for a minute," Gray said, ushering the rest of the team outside.

"Congratulations, Lucy," Wendy said as she departed.

Left alone in the room with only a gentle squeeze from Erza and a playful scolding from Happy, Natsu found the strength he needed to stand again. He approached Lucy carefully, as though she'd shatter into a thousand pieces if he got too close. When he didn't come close enough, she grabbed him with her free arm and tugged him onto the bed. He sat motionless, that first glimpse of his newborn daughter riveting him in waves of heat so hot they burned even him.

"She's beautiful, isn't she?" Lucy said.

"Like you."

Lucy beamed at him. He hadn't noticed it through the haze of his own elation, but she looked _exhausted_.

"Do you want to hold her?" she asked.

He hesitated. "You're not mad at me?"

"Please," she said, offering their daughter to him, "it wouldn't be a normal day in Fairy Tail if something didn't go wrong."

Natsu laughed at that. He took their daughter into his arms, so light, so _fragile_ , and he knew there and then that he'd do _anything_ to keep her safe.

"Hi, Luna," he said, testing the name on his tongue.

Meaning moon, Lucy had chosen the name after renewing every contract with her spirits. It had taken five long years, but she'd finally recovered _all_ of the power and the memories previously lost to her. And so they'd named their daughter _Luna_ : so she'd always be among the stars.

And, though he hadn't mentioned this at the time, it did fall nicely in the tradition starting with her mother. Layla. Lucy. And now Luna. A family built on _love_ and _luck_ and _light._

She was perfect. But of course she was—Luna was the embodiment of the love he shared with Lucy. Such a being could not be anything less than extraordinary.

Cradling their daughter as easily as if he'd held her all his life, Natsu leaned on the headboard beside Lucy. Her head fell against his shoulder.

"You're amazing, Lucy," he said. "You did this. All by yourself."

"Don't be silly. We made her together, you know."

Natsu cheeks warmed. That's a memory he definitely wouldn't forget. Everything from the gentle touch of Lucy's hands to the way she'd whispered in his ear left him hot. Sure, they hadn't really _planned_ to start a family yet, but Luna was the greatest accident he'd ever made.

"I'm serious," he said. "I've watched you for eight months. You're so _strong_ , Lucy."

Lucy barely stifled a giggle. Luna stirred in his arms, roused by her mother's amusement.

"That hard work is just starting, Natsu."

"How hard can this be?" he said.

And then Luna started crying.

* * *

"Don't be jealous, Natsu. It's not _my_ fault Luna likes me best."

Natsu couldn't stop the scathing glare that formed as Loke rocked his daughter back and forth. Two months later and he _still_ hadn't gotten the knack of settling her down. But one glance from Loke and Luna would stop crying instantly. It left Natsu feeling slightly bitter, but it was also a pleasant feeling to know that his daughter felt so at ease with his friends.

"She loves you so much, Natsu," Lucy said, offering him a comforting squeeze.

After giving birth to their daughter, Lucy had cut her hair short again. She wore it half-up like she used to, white ribbons dangling from the ponytail atop her head. Those ribbons reminded him of her wedding dress, and of Cana's vision which had come true the night of the ceremony. He still owed her an apology for that one.

"Don't worry, Natsu," Levy put in, "it gets easier. I promise."

"And it helps to get a babysitter," Gajeel snickered.

The twins were older now and far more adventurous. They'd caused more than a few issues in the guild already.

"Isn't it kinda mean to leave them with Erza?" Gray teased.

"Listen, she takes no shit from anyone. And with Jellal spending more time here, it gives them something to do besides—"

"Gajeel!" Levy scolded. "Luna's right here!"

"Crap, sorry."

"I'm sorry about him," Levy said.

Natsu couldn't help but laugh. And then a wave of sadness passed through him, so slight it barely existed. He owed everyone an apology. All those months he'd spent wallowing in despair when he should have listening to them. They were his friends. And he'd left them to suffer alone.

"I think she likes _me_ best," Happy chimed in, nudging Luna's cheeks gently.

"Actually, I think you'll find I'm going to be her favourite."

Heads turned at the unexpected voice. Aquarius stood a mere ten paces away, accompanied by an oddly familiar face.

Lucy leapt to her feet. "Aquarius!"

Standing beside her, much taller than when they'd left her, Alina offered a bashful smile. Shortly after their wedding, Lucy had taken it upon herself to write letters to Alina, wanting to keep in touch after everything that had happened. In some ways, it had kept her close to Aquarius too.

"I told you we'd meet again," Aquarius said. "You should have more faith in me."

Lucy rushed into Aquarius's arms but was quickly pushed aside.

"I can't believe you made something so adorable, Lucy," Aquarius said, stealing Luna from Loke's arms. "She's your daughter, that's for sure. Those Heartfilia genes are something remarkable, aren't they?"

Looking only a little dismayed at being rejected, Lucy's eyes glistened with maternal pride.

"She insisted on being here when I arrived," Alina said suddenly. "I think she missed you, Lucy."

"Quiet, brat!" Aquarius roared.

"Why are you here?" Natsu asked, lending a voice to the question in everyone's minds.

"You know why," Lucy said. "She's here to join Fairy Tail, isn't that right?"

Alina grinned at that. "I'm sixteen now," she said. "And my mother is on the mend thanks to all of your help. I wanted to do something for you. And this way, I get to follow my dreams too."

"You wanted to reunite her with Aquarius," Natsu realised.

"This way, you can see her whenever you want to. And Aquarius doesn't have to miss out on seeing your daughter grow up. And she missed you."

"I did not miss them!" Aquarius insisted. "Though, with that said, I must leave you. Being out of water isn't such a pleasant experience for me."

She handed Luna to Natsu, who to his surprise didn't cry as she stirred in his arms. Lucy used this moment to embrace Aquarius for the first time in five long years.

Mirajane approached the table excitedly. "A newcomer? How exciting! We haven't had a new member in a while."

All at once the guild began to crowd around Alina, and Natsu's daughter quickly became old news. He slipped out of sight with his wife, Happy trailing along quietly behind them. A family reunited again.

"It's a shame Igneel didn't get to meet Luna," Lucy said as they emerged in the fresh Magnolia air.

"He did," Natsu said, admiring his daughter. Luna grabbed a handful of his scarf and twisted. "Because he's always with me, wherever I go."

"Speaking of being with you wherever you go," Lucy said, "can you watch Luna tonight?"

Natsu's brows tented. "Where are you going?"

"I finally finished my book," she said. "Levy and I are going to read through it tonight."

"You really are amazing," he said.

Lucy grinned. "Luna sleeps a lot, so that helps. I guess she takes after you. All she does lately is eat and sleep."

Natsu nuzzled his daughter close. "Guess so."

"What did you decide to call it, Lucy?" Happy flew in closer, showing genuine interest.

Lucy spun to face them, blonde hair flying around her like beams of majestic sunlight. Suspense hung in the air. She held up a finger excitedly.

"Journey's End!"


End file.
